Slim to None
by Kalinca62
Summary: What if you thought you could no longer trust the one that you loved? Edward and Bella are a young married couple who have hit some major potholes along the way to marital bliss. Events and circumstances threaten to tear them apart. Come join their offbeat counseling sessions as they try to work through their issues and best their Slim to None odds of saving their marriage.
1. Chapter 1

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns everything Twilight.**

**A/N**: **I actually started writing this story before 'Before the Bloodlust Begins' but put it aside when I had to get that story out of my head. I am taking a break from writing the sequel to BtBB and have returned to my original story. I hope that you like it.**

**Once again my incredible Beta T, Lovin Rob has consented to edit for me. I don't know why? But I'd like to thank her and kiss her feet just the same.**

* * *

Chapter One

"Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere." Groucho Marx

Bella

My eyes are fixed on the modern abstract painting hanging prominently behind our therapist, Jessica Stanley's desk. There are two rectangular shapes pushing up against each other, each vying to position itself against the other. It seems a rather fitting portrayal considering what actually goes on in this office. Or perhaps it's supposed to represent some bizarre, twisted and kinky sexual encounter ... hmm.

I'm disturbed that my traitorous mind and body always seems to drift back to sex whenever I'm in his presence but it's been awhile since that itch has been scratched and well, that was never an area where we had any issues. I unconsciously cross my legs feeling somewhat aroused. As I continue to think about the meaning of the painting, I vaguely hear the monotonous drone of Jessica's annoying voice bringing me back to our counseling session.

"Bella? Earth to Bella! You haven't heard a single thing I've just said, have you?" Jessica peers up at me over her glasses that have slid down the bridge of her nose.

"She doesn't listen to me. Why should you be any different?" Edward, my soon-to-be ex mumbles snidely under his breath.

He probably thinks that I didn't hear him but I am used to his off-handed and thoughtless comments. I turn my focus over to my husband, the supposed 'love of my life' and just shake my head and inwardly seethe. Talk about pot calling the kettle black!

Now most women would probably envy me believing that because I am married to this drop-dead, off-the-charts gorgeous man that I lead this equally perfect life. Well, truthfully in the beginning it was amazing and for awhile afterwards it was incredible … okay, I'll admit it - it was fucking perfect, emphasis on the fucking but now …

What is that old saying? 'Beauty is only skin deep' and there is little doubt that my husband is very easy on the eyes. Edward is GQ model material for sure and if his agent has her way, he will soon be gracing that magazine as well. Physically he is the total package. He's tall and physically fit, not too lanky or too muscular. But what catches most people's attention is his face; he is simply the very definition of masculine beauty itself.

I quickly glance over at him and notice that his chiseled jaw and chin are covered with a soft golden scruff. My fingers are desperate to reach over and stroke it. Quickly I turn away knowing that if I look into those baby blue eyes and see those long eyelashes that my resolve will start to crumble and I must stay strong. I won't allow myself to fall apart in front of him ever again.

Get a grip, girl!

With silky bronze tousled hair he looks like he has just gotten out of the sack, which is probably the case. He's playing with his hair now … running his long fingers through it over and over again. It's an unconscious nervous habit of his. I used to think that it was cute and rather sexy but now it just annoys the shit out of me!

Slowly I lean in closer towards him and he is giving me that smirk that used to dissolve my panties. The one that says, 'I so own you'. I can't help myself and smack his fingers - hard. He recoils and glares at me. I hope it hurt!

"What the hell was that for? See what I've had to put up with!" He wails and flashes Jessica his 'poor little boy, won't you feel sorry for me' expression to garner her sympathy.

It's working. I strongly suspect that our therapist isn't immune to his charms and harbors an unprofessional crush on him.

"Ah, poor baby." I mutter. In my personal opinion he deserves much, much worse than a hand slap. Where is a whip when you need one?

"Okay, you two need to focus." Jessica snaps but is looking solely at me.

Who can I report her unethical conduct to?

"How do you either of you expect to make any significant progress in saving your marriage if you don't pay attention and play by the rules that we've established? We discussed this in our last session, did we not? This is a neutral zone … like Switzerland. You must leave your hostilities at the door."

I break out into uncontrollable fits of laughter. Is this woman delusional? Why else would we be sitting here with her as referee if we were able to work out our issues without anger and emotions getting in the way? Save our marriage? Is that even possible anymore?

"And like I told you before, that is easier said than done." There – take that you charlatan!

"Ditto." Edward says.

Oh my! He finally agrees with something I've said. Maybe there is hope?

"But she started it this time." He is pouting like a petulant little boy and pushes out his lower lip.

Don't look at it Bella! My ship of hope has been torpedoed and flounders in the water.

"That's one of her many problems. She's always striking out at me for the littlest things … turning mountains into molehills."

Jessica flashes him a look of empathy for his 'suffering'. Can I slap her too?

"Don't you have that backwards Einstein?" I snap back.

"Tell me Bella because I really want to know." A look of triumph spreads across his face. "When did you turn into such a bitch?"

My ship has capsized and sunk but my anger has resurfaced. I feel my face start to redden and my blood pressure rise. Taking a deep cleansing breath, I hold it before slowly exhaling while silently counting to ten and repeat the process several times. Jessica should be pleased considering I was using one of the calming methods listed on that stupid sheet she had given us.

How dare he accuse me of over-reacting and calling me a bitch? My subconscious has to admit that he is partially right though … I am acting like a bitch but it's only because he has unleashed her. Our issues were not of my making.

Jessica smiles and bats her eyes at him sweetly. "Name calling is a no-no Edward."

Good God, kill me now!

"We'll start with you first Bella. Go on …" Jessica eggs me.

In a cool, calm and collected voice with a look of insincerity plastered on my face, I turn to Jessica. "I shouldn't have smacked his hand. I apologize for my inappropriate behavior."

"That wasn't so hard now was it Bella?" But she doesn't stop there and adds, "It's wonderful that you are apologizing for your juvenile behavior but you should really be saying this to Edward. After all, you assaulted him, not me."

I tilt my head in Edward's direction and catch him smirking out of the corner of my eye. Damn! I mumble an incoherent, "Sorry."

"Um … Bella. I didn't quite hear that. Could you speak up?"

It's becoming increasingly apparent to me that he is enjoying this.

Facing him, I angrily blurt out, "Should we add hearing loss to your long list of short-comings?"

His previously triumphant face turns glacial.

"Enough already!" This time Jessica admonishes us both. "I can see that we have a long way to go but our time is done for today. I expect to see you both here with improved attitudes next Friday."

Hey, I'm feeling better already.

Edward bolts out of his chair as if he's been electrocuted and storms out of the office before I can even manage to uncross my legs. Slowly I rise from my chair, suddenly aware that my left leg has fallen asleep.

"You're wasting your time trying to salvage our relationship." I say to Jessica who is scribbling notes on her pad.

And I mean it. "I'm pretty sure that if the Court hadn't made counseling a mandatory condition of granting us a quick divorce, that neither one of us would be here. It doesn't seem to be doing us much good." I let out an audible sigh. Two more months and I'll finally be free from my albatross of a marriage.

Jessica doesn't raise her head but looks at me above her glass frames again. "I'm not giving up on either of you. I love a good challenge and I have a fairly impressive track record of reuniting couples whose relationships are on death's door, so to speak."

She let's out a quick laugh and adds, "My staff likes to lay odds on the outcome whenever I take on new clients."

Pins and needles shoot down my leg as I struggle to stand up. "Oh really? What odds have Edward and I been given?"

With a deadpan expression, she answers without hesitation, "Slim to none." A wicked gleam crosses her face.

Bitch!

Ouch that hurts and it's not just my leg. For a brief moment I really want to prove her staff of illegal bookies wrong but I have to admit that unless pigs start to fly or it snows in Hell those are fairly good odds.

How ironic that Edward and I are here … in couple's counseling of all places? Never in a million years would I have thought that possible. I hobble over to the elevator and make my way through the parking lot to my rusty, old, but dependable pick-up truck and climb inside. The engine sputters and protests as I turn the key in the ignition. No, don't let me down old girl! After several tries and my cajoling pleas, it roars to life and I turn onto the wet Seattle roadway.

I just have to make one quick stop at my now old home and pick up the rest of my stuff. Being as it is the start of the weekend it's doubtful that Edward will be there. As I'm driving I can't help but wonder where we went wrong.

How did we get here?

~StN~

Edward

My hands clench and unclench on the steering wheel as I speed around town trying to calm myself down after having had to endure an entire hour in couple's counseling. What a joke! But truth be told I am trying to avoid going back 'home' as long as possible and it's too early for the boys to come out and play. I've already been driving for a good, solid hour with no set destination. It's just the Volvo, the highway and me.

I'm trying to concentrate on the slippery roads though my thoughts continuously wander back to the hell that has taken over every aspect of my life these past few weeks. Squinting without my contacts in, I fiddle with the radio, adjust the A/C, and turn off the radio. I get sick of the silence and turn it back on. I cannot believe how many goddamn commercials there are so I turn it back off, bump up the speed of my windshield wipers and retry the radio yet again. STILL more fucking commercials! I turn it back off for good.

Silence … No … no, silence is not good. I need a distraction.

I drum my fingers on the wheel as I slow down approaching a red traffic light. Normally I don't pay any attention to the cars around me but today I find myself observing my surroundings with intensity since I have nothing better to do. I desperately need to get my mind off of her.

I turn my head to the left and look through the window noting how the raindrops seem to race each other down the panel of the safety glass. As my eye focuses, I see a little old gray-haired lady staring back at me with a blank expression on her prune face. The corners of her mouth have been pulled down by the forces of gravity into a forever frown. She sits in the passenger seat with a frail, hunched over shadow of a man, that I assume is her husband, behind the wheel. Briefly I wonder if he should even be driving. Is the poor guy even alive?

I give her a small smile, the best that I can do in these dire times. Her expression remains unchanged and my smile fades.

The light turns green.

She flicks me off as the old Buick she is in crawls forward.

Oh-kay, angry old bitch. Today is torture Edward day apparently. Why didn't I get the memo?

Angrily I step on the gas and proceed to make a sharp right turn down the street that holds my broken home. I swerve into the empty driveway, jam the car into park and abruptly silence the engine. I sigh and unconsciously run my hand through my hair before exiting the vehicle.

The welcome mat below the front door mocks me. 'Home Sweet Home' … yeah, my ass! I step into the dark house, slam the front door behind me and immediately turn on the lights.

Bare house? Check. It seems as though _she _has taken the time to stop here after our, oh so enlightening 'therapy' session to pick up the rest of her shit. That or she had one of her friends do it, maybe even … no, she wouldn't dare send him here or would she? My heart races and I clench and unclench my fists repeatedly.

Tossing my keys on top of the small entry table and my shoes down the hallway, I make my way into the kitchen. I desperately need something to calm my nerves. Inside of the mostly empty fridge I grab two beers before kicking the door closed with the heel of my foot. Meandering into the living room, I plop heavily down onto the micro-fiber couch and sink into the soft cushions. Setting the beers down in front of me, I jam my hands down my pants with a bit of effort and manage to scratch my itchy balls. It's about time that they get some fucking attention! Now that the twins have been adjusted and relieved, I put my dirty sock covered feet onto the pristine glass coffee table in front of me, one foot crossed over the other and stretch out.

Bella would be so pissed. She always insisted that the glass top remain impossibly spot free. I smirk as I crack open the first beer and take a good healthy swig, hissing through my teeth as the cold carbonated liquid races towards my stomach causing gas to bubble up and rise, quickly resulting in a spectacular belch. It echoes through the almost empty room. It almost makes me giddy with glee but I manage to restrain myself.

Ah … she definitely would have something to say. Didn't she always?

As I sit in the deafening silence, I give up the quest of trying to block out my thoughts and finally let them consume me.

How did we get here?

* * *

**A/N: Now I'm sure most of you are worried that this is going to be an angsty, nail-biting drama but you would be mistaken. The hostility between Edward and Bella in this chapter is about as bad as it gets. I plan to take a more light-hearted, sarcastic and irreverent approach with a good healthy dose of humor as they work through their issues.**

**I strongly encourage feedback. I won't bite. Please leave me your constructive criticisms, opinions or questions in the form of a review. It's the only way I have of knowing if you guys are with me or not. Now hit that 'REVIEW' button now! **

**I plan on posting every Friday but to launch this story off with fireworks, I will post another before the 4th. I hope that you join me!**

**C**


	2. Chapter 2

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns everything Twilight.**

**A/N: Once again, Beta T, Lovin Rob has agreed to play with me and clean up my messes – thanks darlin! **

**Okay – the first chapter was really too short to really know why our favorite couple is in counseling or why they are in the process of divorcing but as our story unfolds, you'll get the picture. Here we go.**

* * *

Chapter Two

"For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked." Bill Cosby

Bella

_Dear Jane, I have the most wonderful boyfriend in the entire world! He is so sweet and thoughtful. He's always bringing me flowers and showers me with gifts for no particular reason. We've lived together for six months and everything is perfect except that lately whenever he gets a call or a text, no matter what we're doing – whether it's enjoying a nice meal or in bed, he'll excuse himself and go into another room to answer it. Do you think he is just being polite or should I be concerned? Signed, Paranoid girlfriend?_

Staring at my 15" MacBook Pro screen, I'm repeatedly tapping my fingers on the desk just itching to tell Paranoid what I really think is going on with her 'wonderful boyfriend'. Grinning and shaking my head, I give a deep sigh indicative of my increasing frustration with this particular submission and begin to furiously type my reply.

_Dear Paranoid & Pathetic GF, Wake up and smell the coffee you clueless twit! Are you blind or just plain stupid? Your Mr. Wonderful is fucking somebody else! What do you need to see to finally read the writing on the wall? A picture of his cock inserted into her cunt? All of those trinkets that he's been showering you with is to mask his guilty ass conscience (if he has one) and buy your silence. Listen to that little voice you have bound and gagged … dump the asshole!_

I stop typing and re-read what I've just written.

Real smart Bella! Submit this piece to Banner and he'll be sure to fire your ass! I can't help but laugh at this thought. Banner is my editor and is actually a pretty cool guy. We have this long-standing joke where he 'fires' me every Friday and 'rehires' me on Monday. My fear is that one of these days it won't be a joke anymore. Now more than ever, I really need this job.

Actually I'm one of the lucky college graduates who not only found employment in these dire economic times of hiring freezes and down-sizing to find work but I found it in the field that I majored in. Well … sort of but, okay not exactly. My bachelor's degree from UCLA was in English with a minor in Psychology. My dream was to travel the world and become an investigative journalist and write brilliant exposé's and articles for major magazines like Time and Newsweek or for newspapers like The Wall Street Journal or The London Times and live in London, New York City or maybe even Sydney. But my life didn't exactly turn out that way.

After graduating I spent the good part of an entire year living on my friend, Alice's couch and parking cars at the Ritz-Carlton in NYC waiting for my big break. What a colossal waste of time that turned out to be! The only thing to break was me. It was colder than a witches' tit in the winter and the fast-paced, in-your-face New York attitudes were more than I could handle. It's a wonder that I still have a tongue left since I had to bite it so much. Lowering my expectations considerably, I sent my resume all over the country hoping for something … anything. And who should respond but The Seattle Times … a hop, skip and a jump from my hometown of Forks! They were the only one to grant me an interview and make a job offer. So much for my dreams of being a world traveler …

I also strongly suspect that my dad, Charlie, had a hand in my being hired. Being a sheriff, he has quite the network and probably pulled a few strings or called in a favor or two. Regardless I'm lucky to have landed the highly desirable 'Dear Jane' advice column bestowing the greater Seattle area the benefit of my vast and considerable relationship expertise.

What a joke!

I've had a total of two – maybe three boyfriends in my twenty-five years if you count Tyler Crowley who I went out with for maybe five minutes when I was in eighth grade. After shoving his tongue down my throat, he'd go off and spend an exorbitant amount of time in the bathroom and when he'd return, his hands were always sticky. So gross!

High School was a bust and college wasn't much better. The romantic in me decided to hold out for Prince Charming - the man who couldn't possibly exist, to come sweep me off of my feet, make me weak in the knees and make me come simply by planting love's true kiss. I was desperately in need of a reality check. I'd go out on the occasional date here and there but I could never find a good enough reason to do it a second time. While in college Alice and Rose were forever trying to fix me up with Mr. Right but even they gave up … eventually.

I quickly delete what I've written to Paranoid and insert my usual lame response.

_Dear Paranoid, Your boyfriend really is something else alright. As communication is the cornerstone of every good relationship, I would strongly encourage you to sit down and discuss your feelings with him. Tell him in no uncertain terms that he needs to stop this unacceptable behavior and put your needs first before taking that phone call or text. Only then will your paranoia evaporate and you will become strong and confident in your love once again! _

A twinge of guilt tugs at my conscience but I quickly dismiss it. Paranoid will just have to learn the hard way, just as I did.

I look around my room, unsure how I am feeling or how I should be feeling under the circumstances. There are still a few boxes left that I've yet to sort through and they are neatly stacked in the corner of the spare bedroom that I'm using as a home office in my new place.

I close my laptop and decide to put away its contents. The first box I grab contains the remainder of my clothes so I carry it into my new bedroom and start to put them neatly away. As I'm mostly a jeans and t-shirt type of girl and wear my favorites ninety-nine percent of the time, it takes me all of five minutes. In comparison to most girls, my wardrobe is rather limited and sparse. But Alice would say – in a nice way of course, that I'm fashionably challenged.

After I hang up the last shirt I go back into the office for another box. This one is heavy. Opening it up I look inside and quickly scan its contents. What was I thinking when I threw in my breakable zoo animal figurines, from my impulsive college road trip with my girls to San Francisco, with several of my favorite classical books and photo albums? They're heavy, really heavy. I shake my head knowing that I wasn't thinking clearly at the time. The elephant's trunk has broken. I hope I can fix it. Note to self; don't pack when you're having a meltdown.

I peer inside the box again and among the random items I find is my very dear and close personal 'friend', Barney. That is the nickname I'd given my dark purple vibrator … corny I know. _I love you … you love me … we're a happy family! _I have been neglectful of our relationship but due to the abrupt ending of my relationship with 'little Ed' … I smile remembering that Edward always hated it when I called his penis that.

"_I ask you, is there anything little about this?"_

I can picture him standing by the foot of our bed salaciously asking me that question as he waved his impressive cock in his hand at me.

Hmm … no it was rather large. All right, it was massive!

But now it's just Barney and me again and I am fairly certain that we'll be reacquainted real soon. I try turning on my joystick but discover that the batteries are dead. Rummaging through my desk drawer, I find some AA's and soon hear the familiar hum as he springs to life.

"Later." I promise myself and shove him in my bedside night table.

At the very bottom of the box are several photo albums. I pick up the thickest one. I know without even opening it what's inside. It contains an assortment of photographs of my family, friends and the life I am leaving behind. I quickly put that album aside. I tell myself that I will look at it another time when it doesn't hurt so much.

"Will there ever be such a time?" I wonder.

I find a thin 5'x 7' album that I haven't looked at in ages. I glance inside and smile, gazing down at the four young college girls hugging and hamming it up for the camera. I am fairly certain that it was move-in day in the freshmen dorms.

**Seven years earlier** …

"You must be Isabella Swan, right?" A petite girl, with pixie-like features and short black spiky hair, screeches.

"Hi, I'm Alice. Well my full name is Mary Alice Brandon but I think that Mary is too plain, don't you? Which bed do you want? I'm hoping that you choose the bed closest to the door. I've already set up the one closest to the window because I really need the added light for my drawings." She stops to take a breath.

I then realize that she finally stopped talking and is impatiently waiting for me to say something.

"Um, yeah, I'm Bella and the bed near the door is fine."

"I was able to talk my way into moving in a whole day earlier, can you believe that? I'm so excited, aren't you? Have you met our other suite mates, Leah and Rosalie? They are in the other bedroom. I think they're already friends … probably going back to childhood or something. They seem very nice but a little standoffish. When I introduced myself earlier they kept staring at me … sort of like you are doing now." She suddenly stops talking. "I'm sorry, I do have a tendency to ramble especially when I'm nervous."

My mouth is hanging open. I'm not sure how to respond to the freight train that is Alice. My new roommate and I are polar opposites. I am more the wallflower type, sullen and serious. The party scene really isn't my thing and I didn't have very many friends back home; two actually, Angela Weber and Jacob Black.

"Don't apologize. I find your openness rather refreshing." I hear myself saying but what I am really thinking is 'is she for real'?

Next thing I know she is smiling at me profusely and pulling me into a tight bear hug.

"Sisters and best friends!" She pronounces us.

When we hear voices coming from the common room, Alice grabs her camera with one hand and tugs on my right arm with the other and drags me towards the voices.

"Hey girls, this is my new roomie, Bella."

In perfect synchronization, they turn their heads in my direction and look me up and down. Suddenly I feel very plain.

"Hi, I'm Leah Clearwater." She is tall, tan with black hair and dark brown eyes. She is very pretty.

The other girl is strikingly beautiful … runway model beautiful. She is tall and very slender with pale flawless skin, piercing violet eyes and shiny golden blonde hair.

The blonde speaks, "I'm Rosalie Hale. My friends call me Rose but you can call me Rosalie."

I'm not sure what to say. I think she just dissed me.

Seconds later, she burst out laughing. "Just kidding! Does anyone have anything to drink and I don't mean a Coke unless you have something to put in it."

I shake my head, still uncertain what to make of Rosalie Hale or Alice for that matter. Alice doesn't waste any time whipping the camera out.

"Let's get a group shot of the newly created four musketeers!"

"There were only three musketeers, lame brain." Rose informs Alice with a tone of superiority in her voice.

"Three … four … whatever." Alice draws the four of us closer together and brings the camera in front of us all and yells, "Say cheese!"

"Cheese."

"Cheese"

"Oh fuck … cheese."

A click and a blinding flash, now a moment forever frozen in time stares up at me from my lap. The doorbell rings and I am suddenly brought back to reality by the faces of my closest and dearest friends, Alice and Rose who are standing on my front steps with my favorite Starbuck's caramel macchiato and a bag of apple bran muffins.

"It's about time you called us!" Alice glares at me but then quickly softens her expression. "We're here for you Bella!" She then throws her arms around me tightly.

Rose is softly snickering and looking across the street. "Does Edward know that you've moved in across the street from him?"

I roll my eyes and glare at her. _Bitch!_

~StN~

Edward

_**knock … knock … knock …**_

I feel as though I'm a million miles away and my head has detached from my body. But I'm slowly becoming aware of a pounding noise coming from somewhere nearby. I purposefully ignore it. But the noise hurts my head and causes me to stir. I'm vaguely aware that I am sprawled out on the couch lying on my back with my head wedged in between the back cushion and a throw pillow. One leg is bent on top of the couch while the other is dangling down the front. I quickly fall back into blissful oblivion.

_**knock … knock … knock .. knock … knock … knock … **_

The sound is louder now and voices have joined the rising chorus of noise.

Dammit stop!

My hand reaches for a nearby pillow and I place it over my head trying to kill the noise. I turn over onto my side and pull my legs up so that I'm in the fetal position. My mouth is full of cotton balls and I have no saliva to swallow so my tongue is hanging lifeless. I just want to be left alone and go back to sleep!

"Edward! Open the door!" A familiar voice yells while simultaneously pounding his fist on my front door.

I try to open my eyelids but they aren't working at the moment. Why do I feel like shit? My hand grabs the pillow that's covering my head and tosses it forward. It strikes a pile of metal cans lined up like bowling pins before skating over the dirty glass coffee table and onto the floor. Strike! The cacophony makes my head split in two and I inwardly groan and start to cough choking on my tongue.

"We know that you're in there Edward!" Another irritatingly familiar voice chimes in. "Your car is in the driveway. If you don't open the goddamn door in the next thirty seconds, I'm breaking it down. I've done it before … you know that I will do it again! Do you hear me Edward?"

I find my voice. "Get the fuck out of here!" It sounds weird to me. "Go away!"

With my head still pounding, my eyes squint open. The sun has moved from its place in orbit and now occupies my room. I shut my eyes again quickly. I need to take a piss something fierce but my morning wood is straining against my Joe Boxers. Other than my underwear the only thing I'm wearing is a stained and soiled white V-neck t-shirt that is clinging to my chest.

I try opening my eyes once again and this time I'm able to focus on the five remaining Coors beer cans that the pillow has left standing and notice the glass ashtray filled with my Marlboro gold cigarette butts. There is a collection of shot glasses lined up next to a half empty bottle of Jack Daniels.

My hand reaches down and touches my cock and I'm relieved to discover that he's decided to let me urinate after all. Somehow I manage to sit up but quickly throw my hands to each side of my head to stop the spinning and steady myself.

Holy fuck! What the hell did I do?

'You got wasted … again, you piece of shit!' My medulla oblongata snaps; the only part of my brain that is currently functioning, raises its hand to answer this painfully obvious question.

_**BOOM … BOOM … BOOM … BOOM**_

Angry fists are pounding on my front door and because I don't feel like replacing it … again, I carefully rise to my unsteady feet and shuffle over.

"Hold on assholes … I'm coming!" My fingers fumble to unlock the deadbolt and I turn the handle. Suddenly, I'm being pushed backwards into the living room as the door hits my head hard.

"Christ Emmett!"

I stumble back through the room and continue walking through the short hallway until I reach the bathroom. Without closing the door or lifting up the toilet seat … a wide grin spreads across my face as I picture Bella's face and wonder what she'd have to say about this … I position myself over the bowl before yanking out my dick and let loose. A long, steady stream turns the water a deep yellow.

"Oh man Edward, you look worse than that homeless, wino dude who lives over on Cherri Street!" My best friend and fellow band mate, Emmett, screeches loudly while standing in the doorway; his booming voice is causing me physical pain.

"Why haven't you answered any of our calls or texts Edward?" My other best friend and band mate, Jasper hollers. He is standing beside the gargantuan Emmett.

I flick the excess off of my dick and tuck it back inside my boxers before flushing. Waving my hand dismissively in the air, I off-handedly reply, "I was busy," and then attempt to brush past my two hovering mother hens.

"You missed practice last night … again." Jasper growls as he grabs my one arm and Emmett grabs the other. Together they drag me back inside the small bathroom and as I try to free myself from their clutches, one of them turns the water on in the shower.

"Let go of me you pussies!" It's no use. I don't have the strength to even fight Jasper this morning, let alone the incredible hulk that is Emmett.

"The homeless dude smells better than you do." I hear Emmett chuckling as he pulls back the shower curtain and lifts me over the edge of the claw-foot cast iron tub and puts me underneath the steady stream of water.

"You oughta know ..." My mouth suddenly springs wide forming a perfect 'O' and I sharply inhale.

The water is freezing cold and painful as it pelts my t-shirt and boxers, essentially melding them to my skin. Almost immediately I feel the cobwebs inside of my head pick up and head for the hills as my entire body goes into shock.

"MOTHERFUCKERS!" I wail loudly as my hand spastically reaches down to turn on the hot water. "Get the fuck out of here!"

"Not until you agree to bathe, you disgusting wad of slime." Emmett's hand is still affixed to my arm. "We only have half an hour to get to the Hive."

As the water temperature rises, it actually feels pretty good. I snicker and snidely remark, "Do you plan on washing my junk too Jas?"

"You are truly disgusting Edward. Too bad Riley couldn't join us. Otherwise I'd bet that he'd be more than happy to do the honors." Jasper removes his arm and both my buds back off. "Seriously man, Vicky is going to have our balls on a silver platter if we don't get there on time. Can I trust you to finish up in here and be out in five minutes?"

"Yeah, whatever." I mutter.

I yank on the shower curtain and remove my boxers and t-shirt and then fling them unceremoniously onto the tiled floor. I hear the sound of the door being closed and I reach for my Johnson's baby shampoo. Hell I figure if something works well, why change? I rinse my hair and then slather body wash on my washcloth.

As I run the cloth over my well-defined torso – the result of two hundred sit-ups every day, my cock twitches and stands up demanding my attention. A few inches beneath my belly button and just above my pubic hair where my happy trail lies … as Bella called it, is my only tattoo. It's about two inches long and is written in cursive, _'Isabella'. _In hindsight, Bella was right in deciding last minute not to have my name tattooed on her body. I sigh knowing that I have a permanent reminder of our fifteen month marriage.

How stupid was that?

I shake my head at my lack of foresight and then smile knowing that Emmett and Jasper are impatiently waiting for me in the next room. Let them wait – first things first. I take hold of the twins in my left hand and begin to slowly stroke my growing length with my right. Yes, this is what I need. My thumb skims over my slit and I squeeze my knob before running its length again and again until I start to feel the telltale signs of my imminent release building.

Closing my eyes, my traitorous mind wanders over to the enemy camp and I start to envision that it is Bella's sweet pussy that I am thrusting into deeply and not my hand. Morning sex had been our ritual since the very beginning whether it be in our bed, the shower, on the kitchen table … wherever, it didn't matter and we were damn good at it too. I briefly wonder if she misses it … if she misses me. A couple more brisk pumps up and down my rocket and my knees lock, my body shakes and my thick warm cum forcefully hits the bath tiles.

Ground control we have taken off!

I spread my hands out against the tiles and let the hot water run down the back of my neck and shoulders for a few more minutes before turning off the water and grabbing the same bath towel that I've been using for the past week. I am fully capable of doing the laundry, cleaning the house and grocery shopping but as a matter of childish protest and knowing that it would send Bella into orbit, I have stubbornly done nothing for weeks and it definitely shows. Drying off quickly, I secure the towel around my waist and comb through my hair that is in desperate need of a cut. Bella's toothbrush is still in the holder beside mine and on impulse I take hers instead of mine and brush my teeth. Inside the medicine cabinet I grab a couple of Advil and pop them quickly hoping for some relief for my pounding head.

Inside our bedroom I search for a clean pair of underwear from inside my chest of drawers and finding none, I grab my faded black button 501's from the corner armchair and decide to go commando instead. There are no clean t-shirts or socks to be found either so I pick through the lesser soiled ones from the vast collection scattered on the floor.

Maybe later I'll stop at Penney's and pick up some new clothes.

Jasper and Emmett are rocking on their heels in the living room when I finally emerge. It appears that they've been on some sort of reconnaissance mission gathering information for the enemy's allies – that would be Emmett's wife, Rosalie and Jasper's girlfriend, Alice. They are my wife's best friends and notorious nosy busybodies. My supposed comrades are making no attempt to hide their disgust as to the state of my home's cleanliness or lack thereof.

Jasper whistles through his teeth. "Bella would go ballistic! How can you live this way and when did you start smoking again?"

"What?" I feign ignorance to his question. I know full well that if either of their ladies up and left them, they'd be doing the same thing.

I take a quick survey of my surroundings. I'll admit that it's a little messy but I've seen worse. Hell, before she entered my life it had been the norm for me. The new micro-fiber couch that I've been sleeping on now has food stains on the cushions and the once pristine glass coffee table is smeared with spilled beer, and covered with empty Chinese take-out and pizza containers. The contents of my favorite Blazin' Buffalo Doritos and Cape Cod Salt and Vinegar potato chips are strewn all over. On the floor in front of the TV console unit are piles of DVD's from my Adam Sandler and Jim Carrey collection. Hey, those guys make me laugh and these days, I really need them. At least the kitchen is somewhat clean being as I haven't been in there except to get more beer from the fridge.

"Come on Edward. How far are you actually going to take this whole divorce thing?" Jasper continues his interrogation. "You can pretend all you want that you don't give a shit but you can't fool me. I see right through you dude and you are miserable without her."

I don't answer him right away but head to the hall closet to get my jacket and slip it on. Inside the pocket are my favorite black beanie and sunglasses – a necessity these days when I go to the recording studio downtown.

"You're conveniently forgetting that it was SHE that threw in the towel on our marriage and that SHE is the one that filed for the divorce – not me." I shoot him a lethal glare daring him to answer.

"It's not like she didn't have good reason …" Emmett shoots back but quickly looks away.

Coward!

Emmett and Jasper think they know everything that went down between Bella and me but I have withheld some pertinent information. Some things are just too personal to share … even with your best friends.

"You haven't answered or returned any of my calls." Jasper says and slowly shakes his head. "You've been holed up in here for the past three days feeling sorry for yourself and have missed some very important practice sessions. Have you forgotten that we're laying down our first song this morning?"

"Somebody has to make the first move and admit that they're wrong and apologize. I'd bet anything that you're about ninety-five percent responsible for creating this situation." Jasper is on a roll. "I've told Alice that we should just stay out of this and that you two need to work this out on your own without any interference but look at you man … you're fucked!"

"Yeah." Emmett echoes Jasper. "You're fucked."

"Let's go, shall we? We certainly don't want Vicky going all postal on us, now do we?" I shut them down and search for my Converse sneakers. Finding them in the hallway, I put them on as well as my beanie and sunglasses and head towards the front door.

As I step outside I mutter to myself, "Yeah, I'm so fucked."

* * *

**A/N: So what have we learned so far? Hmm … Bella writes an advice column and how she met her bff's, including Barney. Oh and one other little thing … where she now lives. Should be interesting, yes? Edward is some sort of musician in a band with Jasper, Emmett and one other person that you'll meet soon. I'll bet you're wondering why Edward needs to 'hide' himself when he goes out? You'll see.**

**So how do you like this story so far? Let me know – please! Feedback is crucial. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns everything Twilight.**

**A/N: A quick shout of thanks to my amazing Beta T, Lovin Rob before we jump right in …**

* * *

Chapter Three

"All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage." … Lord Byron

Bella

Rose's eyes continue boring into mine as she enters my new place. I briefly wonder if she can turn her head a full 360 degrees. It seems that she not only expects an answer as to whether Edward knows I'm living across the street but also how I managed to pull it off. She conveys all this and more with just one look.

"No, I haven't divulged my whereabouts to Edward and he hasn't inquired either." I try to mask the hurt in my voice and grab my coffee from her as she and Alice follow me into the living room.

"He doesn't care." I off-handedly remark.

"Oh Bella, I really doubt that." Alice puts her arm around my waist and gives me a reassuring hug.

"Nice place." Rose comments as she scans the perimeter of the room. "It has a great view too." She is looking out the large picture window directly at my former home and its driveway with the Volvo parked in front and a wry smile appears on the corner of her lips.

"Why on earth would you want to live directly across the street from your soon-to-be ex-husband? I never figured you to be a masochist, Bella." Rose has never been one to mince words.

"Don't say 'ex-husband' Rose!" Alice frowns. "The fact that Bella chooses to live so close to Edward means that she is not ready to let him go." She gleefully claps her hands together. "You still love him."

"You know that love isn't the issue." I take a deep breath and sit cross-legged on the couch.

My girls plop down on opposite side armchairs. I really don't want to have this conversation with them again but I don't see how I can avoid it as they are both staring at me, Alice, hopefully optimistic and Rose sarcastically pessimistic. Rose then looks over at Alice, rolling her eyes.

"You don't serve your husband divorce papers unless you are ready to cut him loose." Rose snaps at Alice and then turns her sardonic gaze my way. "So why would you torture yourself like this Bella? What's the deal?"

I feign an expression of indifference hoping she'll buy it. "It's really very simple. I like this neighborhood and when Marcus, our postman told me that the owner was going overseas for six months and was looking for someone to housesit, it seemed like the perfect solution. I figured that ought to be enough time to resolve things."

Rose isn't totally convinced so I appeal to what I know she will appreciate and understand, namely, money. Rose is a financial wizard who is swiftly climbing the ladder at a major firm.

"I'm paying next to nothing in rent."

"Well, I have to hand it to you Bella. It seems like you have it all figured out. You can monitor his comings and goings and find out if he's been truthful or not." A flash of bewilderment crosses her face. "Are you hiding that bucket of rust in the garage?"

"You make it seem like I'm spying on Edward and I am not. I don't care what he does or who he does it with … not anymore." I repeat those words like it's my mantra. If I say it over and over, maybe I will believe them. "And… Don't hate my wheels."

Rose rolls her eyes at me and then casually looks out the window. "Then I guess you won't care that there is a really cute blonde standing on his front steps wiggling her tush."

My heart rises into my throat and I shoot up to my feet. In the process I spill my coffee all over my lap and onto the couch cushions straining to get a glimpse of whoever it is that Rose has described.

Shit! It's only Emmett and Jasper banging on the door. Damn, I'm busted.

Rose breaks out into uncontrolled fits of laughter. "You were saying Bella?"

"Come on Rose, don't be so hard on her." Alice says, coming to my defense.

Thank you Alice!

"If it was Emmett, you know that you'd be doing the same thing." She says as she runs into the kitchen to search for some paper towels.

"No I wouldn't." Rose responds, firmly shaking her head. "Emmett and I would never be in this situation."

She sounds so confident and cocky that it is really starting to grate on my nerves. "How can you say that? You can't possibly know what the future holds for either of you."

"I can say that with absolute certainty because Emmett knows that I'd kill him." Her stone face is serious for about thirty seconds before it begins to crack. She then adds in typical Rosalie, smart-ass style, "And then I'd divorce him."

I start to giggle at the absurdity of her declaration. Time to veer the subject off of me. "Would you girls like to see the rest of the ranch house? It's small – just twelve hundred square feet but I don't need much space."

Alice returns with the paper towels and between the two of us, we temporarily clean up my mess. Even so, I know that I will have to scrub it more thoroughly later on.

"Go take a look around while I get out of these wet things." I head to the bedroom but can't help but overhear Alice squealing with excitement as she goes from room to room.

"You can tell that a man lived here … maybe I can help you make it more homey …" Alice says from somewhere down the hall.

Alice is an interior designer by trade; mostly for commercial office buildings but she occasionally does residential makeovers. Her first passion though, will always be fashion.

"Hold on Alice! I won't be here that long!" I yell back.

I quickly toss my soiled clothes into the hamper and throw on the first items that I can get my hands on. By the time I finish dressing; the girls have finished their tour and are back in their armchairs in the living room. I can't help but notice the disapproving way in which both of my bff's are looking at me.

"What?" I ask.

"Well since you won't let me redecorate the house, is there any chance that you'd let me give you a personal make-over?" Crossing her fingers, Alice waits with bated breath for me to finally give her the green light to do what she has been waiting years to do.

I don't really look that bad? Do I?

Darting over to the ceiling to floor vertical mirrors that encompass the entire sidewall, I examine myself more closely. It's amazing that I still have my girlish figure considering the vast amounts of junk food that I consume on a daily basis, but I have. Whenever I start to feel a little bloated, I whip out my mat and my 'Envy Girls' workout DVD and forego my favorite Ding Dongs and Ho Ho's for a couple of days and walla … my flat stomach and cellulite-free thighs return.

Thank God for thin genes!

Light freckles run along the top of my cheeks and across the bridge of my nose but otherwise my skin is unblemished and pale – living in the Pacific Northwest will do that to you. I check for wrinkles.

Twenty-five is too young to have them, right?

I wonder if I should start investing in absurdly expensive anti-aging wrinkle creams. Nope, no wrinkles but I do notice slightly darkened circles underneath my eyes as I rarely wear any make-up. Maybe I should start? The dark circles must be the result of my poor sleeping habits and more recent mood swings which have resulted in frequent, pathetic weepy sob fests.

Damn you Edward Cullen! I'll bet you still sleep like a baby …

My thick, long, wavy dark brown hair hangs down below my waist. I've worn the same simple style my entire life with no bangs, layers or highlights. I'd always believed that my hair was my best feature but maybe it does make me look rather plain and immature. But Edward always seemed to like it – especially when it was tied back and he could pull on it while … I abruptly stop that train of thought. But it did feel good when he'd brush it until it shone.

Hmm … maybe it's time for a new hairstyle.

My wardrobe? I've already established the fact that I'm a jeans and t-shirt type of gal but today that would be an improvement from what I'm currently wearing – really old gray sweatpants with holes that more resemble Swiss cheese, a baggy bright orange t-shirt that has 'WORK ZONE – UNDER CONSTRUCTION' written across my breasts with no bra on and bare feet.

I am truly a vision to behold! What did Edward ever see in me? Maybe that's why he … STOP! Don't go there Bella.

I take a deep breath and hear myself saying the words that I never, ever thought I'd say. "All right Alice, I hereby give you permission to make a few changes but …"

She cuts me off mid-sentence and her high pitch screams pierce both Rose's and my eardrums. We quickly cover them as we watch Alice dance and twirl around the room like a deranged marionette puppet.

"Oh Bella! I can hardly believe it! You won't regret this! We're going to have so much fun … where to start?"

What have I done? I start to back pedal immediately. "Alice … wait!" I realize that I'd better establish some clear guidelines or she is going to go all out and turn me into someone I don't know or recognize.

Would that be such a bad thing? No, no … guidelines are a must!

Suddenly I grab her and pin her up against the wall and I'm shaking my index finger in her face. "Listen up Mary Alice Brandon, I'm not changing the color of my hair or wearing outrageously expensive designer clothes like Balenciaga or Alexander McQueen and I'm definitely not wearing Louboutin's like you do."

Alice narrows her eyes at me. "I want carte blanche authority otherwise you are inhibiting my highly in demand creative juices. You have to trust me Bella for this to work … please, oh pretty please!"

I glance over at Rose who is once again thoroughly amused and she shrugs. "Why not Bella? You seem to want to want change … start with creating a new image."

I swallow hard and grimace before releasing her. "Please don't make me regret this Alice!"

The lever inside Alice's brain has been flipped into overdrive and her mouth is moving a mile a minute. "Bella, I have to work late tonight but I want you to clear your schedule tomorrow afternoon and we'll hit some of my favorite little boutiques downtown. Ooh, I can't wait to bring you to Moksha and Ropas! I'm going to call my hair stylist, Roberta at Swoop's – maybe she can squeeze you in …" She reaches inside her purse for her iPhone and starts dialing. "We can have dinner at Piatti's … their wild salmon, ratatouille with tomato coulis …"

What have I created and unleashed?

"We really should be leaving now." Rose strategically announces and rises from her chair steering Alice by the elbow towards the front door. "After all it's a work day and there is money to be made."

God I love her. She is going to remove the whirlwind that is Alice before she implodes.

Out of the corner of my eye I catch the front door opening across the street. I watch thoroughly mesmerized with my mouth hanging open as Edward leads Emmett and Jasper outside and into Jasper's car. He looks incredibly hot with his weathered black bomber jacket; black beanie and aviator sunglasses and I find that I can't look away as the car backs out and speeds down the road.

"Face it girl … no matter what your mouth says, you still have it bad for him." Rose remarks as she follows my longing gaze.

Yep, I'm fucked.

~StN~

Edward

Normally I much prefer being the driver – the one who is in charge but this morning I'm relieved to have someone else get me where I need to be. The Advil has yet to fully kick in and my head feels as if I've gone twenty rounds in the boxing ring without headgear with the heavyweight champion of the world.

How the hell am I going to pull off my part in recording our first track for our second album this morning? Then I remember that I was pretty much hung over recording our debut album, 'Pieces'. I smile. What does that say about my supposed 'brilliant' talent? For that matter, what does that say about me? I frown.

It feels as though it's been a long road in getting our alternative music band – 'Bull Rant' to this point. There are four of us altogether; Riley on keyboards, Emmett on drums, Jasper on bass guitar and myself – guitarist and lead singer extraordinaire. Jasper and I have written and composed all of our own songs for as long as I can remember. As Jasper drives his new fuel efficient, electric Mitsubishi i-MiEV – the only material thing that he's allowed himself to splurge on from the proceeds of our 'overnight' success, slowly through downtown Seattle morning traffic, I lay my head on the back seat headrest and close my eyes, thinking back in time.

**Fifteen years earlier … **

I'm the new kid in Mrs. Cope's sixth grade class. My parent's and I have recently moved to the small community of Mandeville Canyon, just outside of Brentwood in Los Angeles from Chicago. My dad, Carlisle Cullen is an actor and has just landed a plum role as a doctor on the TV show, 'E.R'. My mother, Esme is a kindergarten teacher and is always thrilled whenever dad announces we're going on a new 'adventure'. That is code for we're picking up stakes and moving yet again. We have moved at least five times in my lifetime alone and I've come to dread starting over … different schools and making new friends. Sometimes I wish that my dad was a plumber.

I haven't had my growth spurt yet so I am thin and short – the perfect target for bullies. As Mrs. Cope stands me in front of her class of twenty-two students and introduces me to everyone, I hear the snickers coming from the other boys and dreamy sighs from the girls. Even at eleven, it appears that I'm a 'heartbreaker' as my mom likes to refer to me. I'm not exactly sure what that means but it sounds tough so I let it stand. I'm seated in the next to last row between the two boys who will become my life-long best buds. Emmett is tall and broad for his age while Jasper is much like me - scrawny.

"Aren't you pretty?" The boy behind me taunts. "I don't think you're a boy."

His pal beside him chimes in, "He must be one of those 'queer' boys who look like girls." The boy behind me is snickering.

"How exactly would you know about that?"

I can't believe I'm taking the bait and actually responding to these goons. This isn't smart. Both of these boys are bigger than me. I am jolted forward as my chair is kicked really hard.

"We'll be seeing you later Cullen."

I'm not stupid. I know what that means. My stomach quivers at the thought of being beaten … two or more against moi. I'll have to avoid using the bathroom and find a place to hide out during lunch. Maybe I can get out of last class early …

"Hey." Jasper whispers and gives me a half smile and a wave from across the aisle.

"Hey." I answer him back.

"Is it true your dad is really an actor?" Emmett, who sits on my other side, asks, excitedly. "Is he famous?"

Before I can answer him, Mrs. Cope's voice booms loudly. "Emmett McCarty, since you seem to have the time to rudely talk while I'm teaching, you must know the answer to the math question I've posted on the board."

6 = 14 – n, n=

Emmett's eyes widen like saucers as he stares at the math problem. It only takes me a second to realize that he hasn't a clue to its solution. I on the other hand, am a math whiz so I know the answer.

"I'm waiting Emmett." Her face contorts into an angry scowl and her fingers tap repeatedly on top of the desk.

I loosely cover my mouth with my hand and cough, disguising the answer within. "Eight."

"Eight." Emmett blurts out loudly. The class erupts into laughter.

"Eyes back on the board class." Mrs. Cope reprimands and continues with her lesson.

After the 'Cope' incident as it was later referred to, the three of us became inseparable and I'm thankful that the bullies here were afraid of Emmett and as a result, they left both Jasper and me alone. I could always count on Emmett to have my back.

**Thirteen years earlier …**

Music has always been my passion. Let me clarify that … classic rock and metal have always been my passion. When I was twelve my parent's got me a Les Paul guitar and I taught myself how to play that thing in no time at all. Heck, I think I even slept with it. Jasper had the bright idea that we should start a band so for his birthday he got his folks to buy him a bass guitar. Emmett had already been playing the drums since he was three and was quite good.

"How is it you've been playing the drums for so long?" I think it's so cool that Emmett's parents encouraged him from an early age.

"I was a hyperactive child ..." Emmett chuckles. "…I was diagnosed with ADHD by the time I was in kindergarten but when I played the drums I would sit still for hours on end … more so than TV or anything else."

"You're awesome dude." I slap his shoulder and he wrestles me to the ground.

**Ten years earlier …**

It wasn't uncommon for Jasper and I to spend entire weekends holed up writing songs. We'd practice in my parent's large detached garage for hours on end. By the time we were in high school we began playing at parties and whatnot. Yeah … the parties and everything that went with that scene including the girls, who by then were throwing themselves at me on a regular basis. Jasper and Emmett didn't seem to mind getting my sloppy seconds though. They were just happy as hell to get laid on occasion.

"Come on Edward … join us." Robin, the hostess of tonight's party called out to me from her parent's hot tub. Emmett and Jasper had already paired up with two other girls I barely knew inside.

I was sprawled out on a nearby lawn recliner enjoying my well-earned joint. It was the wee hours of the morning and the party had long since broken up; another event that our little band had rocked. I had had at least five propositions for sex during the course of the night, typical.

"Coming." My lips kiss Mary Jane once more before I snuff her out with the heel of my Converse. I strip down to my boxer's and slide behind Robin in the hot water. She shimmies her sweet ass against my growing erection and with her hand reaches back for it. I don't stop her.

**Five years earlier … **

It was while we were students at UCLA that we met Riley, who was extremely talented at keyboards. Everything just clicked after that and 'Bull Rant' was born. We played wherever we could get a gig. It didn't matter where it was or how far we had to travel to get there. Two years later we all dropped out of school and headed off to join Seattle's bohemian music scene.

"Hey Jas, what do you think of this?"

I plop down on the beanbag in the studio apartment the four of us share and begin strumming my guitar. This particular melody has been stuck in my head for days.

"Nice … really nice." Jasper comments lying on the old couch that tilts down; a result of only having two legs on one side, his eyes are now shut.

A few minutes later he suddenly sits up and reaches for his pad and pen and furiously begins to write. "Keep playing the riff."

An hour later we'd finished our song.

'Don't Follow'

Hey, I ain't never coming

Home

Hey, I'll just wander my

Own road

Hey, I can't meet you here tomorrow

Say goodbye don't follow

Misery so hollow

Hey you, you're livin'

Life full throttle

Hey you, pass me down that

Bottle, yeah

Hey you, you can't shake

Me round now

I get so lost and don't

Know how

And it hurts to care, so I won't now

Forgot my woman, lost my

Friends

Things I'd done and where

I've been

Sleep in sweat the mirrors

Cold

See my face it's growin'

Old

Scared to death no reason

Why

Do whatever to get me by

Think about the things I

Said

Read the page it's cold

And dead

Take me home

Yeah, take me home

Take me home

Take me home, yeah

Take me home

Say goodbye, don't follow

The following weekend we included it when playing our set at the Waterstreet Music Hall. There we caught the attention of James Demers, the owner of Visions Management and his associate, Victoria Smith. We fired our small-time, local manager and signed on with James and Vicky became our agent. It wasn't too long before we garnered a reputation for being 'different' and 'original' and that's when things really started to change for us. We've been soaring towards the big time ever since.

I'm jolted out of my all too brief reprieve as Jasper pulls over to the side of the curb. We're about three blocks away from the recording studio, The Hive. Damn! There is a roadblock set up by a construction crew.

"You and Emmett go on ahead; I'll find a place to park and join you in a few minutes." Jasper explains.

As is my habit lately, I quickly take a look outside to be sure the coast is clear before stepping out of the car. Emmett joins me on the sidewalk and we briskly start walking. It's crowded as people are going about their morning routines and I inwardly cringe. Crowds make me feel claustrophobic.

"Rose is supposed to stop in later this morning." Emmett says smiling. "She's my good luck charm."

"Yeah, whatever." Personally I don't understand how those two are happy and still together. He is definitely pussy-whipped but he seems to thrive on it.

We're about a block from our destination when it happens. I hear the first squeal and then another. Soon a chorus of screaming girls and women are headed in our direction. Emmett starts to laugh.

"Oh shit!" I mutter under my breath and my eyes dart around looking for a way to escape.

"Come on Edward, these are our fans. Let's not disappoint them." I stare up at him in disbelief. "Suck it up and face it like a man."

"If you leave me out here again with them, I am going to find a way to get even." I threaten.

Emmett just grins. "Yeah, whatever."

We try to keep moving forward as hands reach out to give us the latest copy of Rolling Stone magazine to sign. Bull Rant is featured on this month's cover. I cringe at my being placed front and center with my naked chest prominently featured. At least those sit up's have paid off.

"Edward! Over here!"

"God I love you Edward!"

"He's even more gorgeous in person!"

One young girl passes out while another one shoves her cleavage into my face and hands me a sharpie gesturing for me to autograph my name on her bare skin, which of course I do.

Hey, Emmett told me not to disappoint our fans.

I'm vaguely aware of slips of paper being pushed into my front and back pockets; with their phone numbers no doubt. I gasp when someone cops a feel of my dick and squeezes. Okay…Time to get the hell out of here.

I look up and am thankful to see Vicky headed in our direction with a handful of really big dudes in tow, who immediately start veering the crowd away from Emmett and me. We start running towards the building entrance at full speed and are both gasping for air and laughing when we're safely inside.

"That was fun." Emmett really seems to enjoy this part of fame.

"Speak for yourself." I punch his shoulder. "Where do all these people come from anyway? They always seem to materialize out of nowhere."

"Don't complain." Emmett hits me back and it hurts. "Two years ago we were nobodies struggling to pay the rent. We've finally made it. We have fans and groupies wherever we go and the money has been pouring in."

He's right and I know it but I sure as hell won't admit it. But the resulting price I'm currently paying – mainly, the end of my marriage, is a steep one. I take a deep breath and push the button for the elevator that will take us up to the 6th floor where I will have to get my shit together real quick.

* * *

**A/N: What was Bella thinking giving Alice Carte blanche to do a makeover on her? Now you know a little bit more about our Edward too. Next chapter we're back to our favorite couple's counseling session. Oh goody! I can hardly wait.**

**I am not a songwriter or musically inclined in anyway, shape or form so I will be relying completely on those who are when 'Bull Rant' performs. 'Don't Follow' is one of my favorites by Alice in Chains. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns everything Twilight.**

**A/N: A quick shout of thanks to my wonderful Beta T, Lovin Rob! I apologize for making you have to work so hard but eventually I'll get it. Maybe …**

**In our last chapter Bella agreed to Alice's plea to make her over and we discovered quite a bit about Edward's past and present. It's back to counseling for our favorite couple.**

* * *

Chapter Four

"To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup, whenever you're wrong admit it; whenever you're right shut up." Ogden Nash

Edward

I'm sitting in the waiting room and for once I am on time and even a little bit early for our couple's counseling session with Dr. Stanley - Jessica. She has encouraged us all to use our first names with each other while we're in her office like we're good friends or something. Maybe that is her way of getting us to reveal our innermost feelings and secrets. Ooh … not gonna happen.

What a crock of shit!

I shake my head at the absurdity of that idea. What about Dr. Stanley's secrets? She has definitely been sending me some pretty clear signals that she finds me attractive and I'm fairly certain that her professional code of conduct – that 'hypocrite oath' that she's been sworn to uphold with her life is the only thing preventing her from actually hitting on me. But even if she weren't our therapist, she is not my type.

What a crock of shit!

I've never really had a 'type' of woman that I'm more attracted to than another. If they had tits and a vagina, it was good enough for me. I've gone out with more girls than most men ever will – even in their wildest dreams. Tall, short, thin, full-figured – that is what the fat ones like to call themselves. Blonde, brunette, redhead … it never really mattered to me.

There is really only one thing that I'm wildly attracted to and value more in a girl than anything else and that is honesty.

You'd be surprised how rare it is for a woman to just be herself especially if she's set her sights on a man. Then she'll try to be whatever he wants her to be and thus it becomes boring. Well at least for me it does. The last thing I want to do is date myself! But it works for a little while until the sex isn't so hot anymore and the pretense of the charade starts to fade. That is when their true personality starts to emerge. One day you're with Dr. Jekyll and the next, Mr. Hyde. What's with that?

Bella was different from any girl I had ever met. From the very beginning what I saw was what I got. She laid herself open and bare for me to read like a book. There was no bullshit to sift through and wonder what the hell she was thinking or feeling … no games. And when I was acting like an asshole, she'd call me on it and trust me that happened practically daily. She wasn't afraid to stand up and challenge me and because she did, I was a better person for it.

So why are we here?

Of course it hadn't hurt that Bella is as attractive on the outside as she is on the inside. She doesn't need to cake herself in layers of make-up for her beauty to show. My mom calls her a 'natural' beauty. Her body was made for mine in every possible way with lips I get lost in, perfect supple breasts that fit in the palm of my hand, and female genitalia that responds to my touch like a well-tuned Ferrari …

I have to stop thinking of her in that way. But how exactly am I supposed do I do that?

Maybe I should repeat over and over again until it sinks in, "Bella isn't yours anymore." Well legally she is but otherwise, no she isn't. But my cock hasn't read that memo and starts to twitch and swell.

Quickly I put a magazine over the top of my lap and hope that no one in the waiting room notices. I pick up a sports magazine; something I have next to no interest in and force myself to read the article about Jordyn Wieber's guaranteed spot on the U.S. women's 2012 gymnastic Olympic team.

"I do want it very badly but I'm trying not to think about first," Wieber's opponent Gabby Douglas said about the trials. "I need to think about polishing up my skills."

I toss the magazine back onto the end table. That visual is not exactly helping to relieve my boner as my mind wonders about the flexibility that a gymnast must have and if that translates into the bedroom. More specifically, Bella and I in our bedroom and she's twisted around me like a pretzel and …

Fuck! Stop it Edward!

I close my eyes and picture myself mowing the lawn – something that requires no brain waves. I am relieved when it works and my erection gradually begins to subside. My watch says it's almost 3:00, our scheduled appointment time and Bella still hasn't showed up. That is very unusual for her. She is one of those people who are at least a half hour early for everything. It used to drive me nuts.

But is she all right, I wonder?

Suddenly I have an overwhelming urge to go find her and make sure that she is. I stand up and head over to the elevators and press the down button.

Almost immediately the doors open and I'm standing face to face with someone who bears a very strong resemblance to my wife but with some striking differences as well. This woman has poker straight shoulder length strawberry blonde hair with long layers softly framing her lovely face. A face that is masked with a considerable amount of make-up; mascara, eye shadow and liner, rouge and lipstick – the works.

But that's not all. She is stylishly dressed wearing a tight fitted cashmere V-neck dress that emphasizes her cleavage and clings to her curves in all the right places and showcases her incredible legs a couple of inches above her knees. Designer black splotched patterned nylons and pointy black and white ankle boots complete the ensemble. This girl is blisteringly hot!

"Hello Edward." She says in a sultry voice before demurely smiling and continuing to walk and sway her hips into the waiting room.

Fuck me! I'm speechless. My cock agrees and is once again straining in my jeans. What the hell happened to Bella?

The sound of Jessica's voice snaps me out of my stunned and frozen position in front of the elevator doors. I swallow and spin around before marching forward feeling slightly off balance. Well at the very least, this should be interesting.

Bella has taken a seat in the chair nearest the door in front of Jessica's glass top ultra-modern desk and I take the other beside her.

What is it about women and glass furniture?

I can't help myself. My head turns to a 45-degree angle so that I'm staring open mouthed at Bella. For that matter, so is Jessica but a little more subtly. I can tell that Bella is uncomfortable as she is tilting her head down and looking at the fingers on her hands that are twirling furiously. Then I notice the manicure and fake nails. Usually she bites her nails to the quick. This can only be the doings of one person that I know of … Alice! I let out a small laugh at the very thought of Bella voluntarily submitting herself to the little pixie's maniacal methods of madness.

Why would Bella do that?

Jessica regains her composure and begins our session. "I see that you've made some changes to your appearance Bella. I must say that you look very nice. What brought this on if you don't mind my asking?"

"I needed a change." Bella swallows and catches me gawking at her from the corner of her eye. "Stop staring at me!" She snaps at me.

Wasn't that the point?

"I can't help it." I let out another laugh. This is probably not the best thing for me to do and I know it.

"Have we met? Don't I know you from somewhere?" I know I shouldn't tease her but I can't stop myself.

"Use your pick-up lines on someone who will buy them." Bella snaps.

Ouch! "Sorree!" I put my hands up in a conciliatory gesture.

She must be PMS-ing. Tears can't be too far behind.

"So you don't like the new me?" Bella asks defensively and the pitch of her voice tells me I've hurt her feelings.

"Do you?" Again, not the best thing to have said. I watch as she shakes her head slightly and her lips set into a thin line. She's a little pissed.

Jessica wisely intervenes. "All right you two. Let's use our scheduled time wisely as I think we will be needing every single minute."

You think?

"How do you both feel about being here today even though we haven't accomplished anything so far?" Jessica asks all perky and professional. She turns to Bella first.

"I don't know … glad I guess." Bella stammers and shifts in her chair crossing her legs. "I mean it can't hurt, can it?"

"And you Edward? How do you feel about being here?"

Hmm … about as wonderful as having a root canal without any Novocain.

The sight of Bella in that dress and the way it is riding high up her thigh is distracting me though. She has the most perfect set of legs I have ever seen and it leads up to her moist, warm ... Stop it!

I swallow and answer. "I don't believe in counseling and I don't believe that it is going to help us." Take that, you over-priced bull-shitter!

"See, that wasn't so bad now was it? I appreciate your honesty." Jessica gives us a perfunctory smile. "Well I'm glad that you are both here. I want you to know that you can come and not have to change a thing about yourself if you don't want to. No one is going to make you do anything that you're uncomfortable with." She is looking directly at me.

Great, she thinks I'm the unreasonable one. I flash her one of my panty-poofing smiles to get back in her good graces and she is momentarily stunned.

Now her focus turns back to Bella. "Can you give me an example of something Edward has said or done in the past that has hurt you?"

This is not good.

Bella throws her head back and laughs. "How long do we have?"

Ouch! Fuck me!

Jessica intervenes once again but this time its Bella she is giving the stink eye to. "I would appreciate it if you both kept your snide comments to yourselves. It is negative and unconstructive and taking up our valuable time together."

"Well for starters, I always have to ask Edward to listen to me when I'm talking to him and to acknowledge me in some way other than grunting." Bella sighs. "He's either busy on the computer, playing video games or watching one of his stupid movies."

My ears perk up. Hey, she laughs at those stupid movies too.

"I think he takes me for granted. It hurts me that I'm not important enough to warrant his full attention."

"That is because you are always nagging me about one thing or another. 'Edward can you take the garbage out?' 'Edward, will you put your dirty socks and underwear in the hamper?' Nothing is ever good enough and I can't seem to please you no matter what I do." I say flustered.

Jessica claps her hands together with glee. "Oh goody! Now we're getting someplace! Bella, how would you want Edward to respond when you address him and he's otherwise preoccupied?"

"I want him to stop whatever he is doing and give me his undivided attention and then do as I ask." Bella folds her arms.

"I wish you'd stop acting as if you're my mother!" I can't believe this. We're not here because of the 'little' things that all couples find irritating about each other.

"I should think I'm not your mother! That would be sick considering ..."

"Considering what?" Jessica probes further.

"Never mind." Bella snaps. "It doesn't matter."

"Oh that's convenient. You want to be open and discuss my short-comings but as soon as it gets a little uncomfortable you clam up." I shake my head feigning disgust.

"If you must know Jessica, Edward likes it when I talk dirty to him in bed – really vulgar and perverse things … definitely not something that a mother would do." She childishly sticks her tongue out at me.

"So what? It turns me on. I like that you can swear like a sailor." I can't help from smiling and I peak over at her and see that she is trying very hard not to smile as well.

"Okay … um we're veering off-topic." Jessica turns back to me. "What would you like Bella to do differently when she has a request of you?"

"What Bella fails to realize is that I am perfectly capable of multi-tasking so I can be on the computer _and_ listen to her at the same time." I then turn and address Bella directly. "I do hear you and no I'm not deaf. You don't have to keep badgering me. I will do as you ask in my own good time. I'm not a child."

"Then stop acting like one!" Bella is now glaring at me.

This is ridiculous! We're never going to get anywhere.

It's Bella turn to get Jessica's evil eye. "What did we agree about snide comments?"

"Edward, can you give me an example of something Bella has said or done that has hurt you?"

"How about the real reason we're here for one. Let's cut to the chase, shall we?" Let's see if Bella will discuss this.

Jessica looks between the two of us and nods her head at me.

"Bella believes that I've lied to her." This really is our main issue and it hurts like hell. "She knows I value honesty in relationships and how very important it is to me. Yet she says she can't trust me. How am I supposed to deal with that?" Both Jessica and Bella are staring at me and I close my eyes.

"Does Bella have a reason not to trust you Edward?"

I take a deep breath and answer the best I can. "I don't believe that she does. I've always been faithful to her. Can she say the same to me?" I hear her sharp intake of breath.

"Excuse me …" Bella jumps up from her chair. "I need to use the rest room." I see that there are tears in her eyes as she rushes out of the room.

So typical of her! When the going gets tough, she runs. She runs to …

Jessica takes this opportunity to put me on the spot. "Bella is an intelligent woman Edward. Why would she believe the worst about you and why do you feel the same about her?"

"I told you that counseling is pointless. There is no hope for us. Without trust we have nothing. We are nothing!" I shout. I am fighting back my rising anger and despair.

Ten minutes later Bella slowly and calmly walks back inside and sits down. She won't look at me and frankly, I can't look at her either.

"I think that's enough for today." Jessica waives the white flag. "I think you two have plenty to think about." She then hands us each a thin black covered notebook. "I have an assignment for you both to do before our next session. I've written down a few questions inside this notebook and I would like for you to answer them as honestly and thoroughly as possible. I would also like you to write down how you are feeling every day."

"A diary? You have got to be fucking kidding me!" I roll my eyes. "Do I really have to do this?"

"Yes, you both do." Jessica answers. "I really think it will help."

"I thought you said I didn't have to do anything I didn't want to do?" I hate all this touchy, feely bullshit.

"I lied. How's that for honesty?" She flashes me an insincere smile and puts her pen down. "I look forward to meeting with you both next week."

I am so out of here. I grab the notebook and bolt out as fast as I can. Maybe we should just wait the full year for the divorce to go through instead of going for the quickie.

~StN~

Bella

Well that went well. Instead of counseling drawing us closer together and helping to resolve our issues as I'd hoped it would, I think it's doing the complete opposite. I have a lot to think about but the first thing I do when I climb inside my pick-up truck is yank this stupid wig off of my head and run my fingers through my long, dark hair.

Seriously, what was I thinking wearing this mop and letting Alice dress me and do my make-up before coming here today? I close my eyes and lean my head on the steering wheel.

**This afternoon …**

"You're going to blow him away Bella!" Alice gushes as she goes through the selection of new clothes neatly hung and arranged by color in my closet. "He'll probably cum on the spot when he lays his eyes on you."

"He's going to laugh at me." I'm staring at myself in the bathroom mirror and I hardly recognize myself. Alice has applied just about every kind of make-up there is on my face. I drew the line with having to wear false eyelashes as I could just imagine them sliding down my cheek at any given moment. "I look like a clown."

"No you don't!" I hear her holler. "You look like a model and I really like you as a blonde."

"I can already hear him starting in on the blonde jokes …" I feel as if I'm dressing up for Halloween. "Are you sure the wig is necessary?"

Alice casually strolls back into my bedroom holding the 'perfect' outfit that I am to wear today at our couple's counseling session. "Relax Bella, trust me … please."

Where have I heard her say that before?

**Earlier in the week** …

I have an incoming text message from Rose. '_How RU holding up B? RU ready to kill the little demon yet?'_

I'm in the backroom of the fifth or sixth boutique that Alice has dragged me to this afternoon – honestly I've lost count and I'm leaning against the wall watching as Alice rabidly goes through rack after rack of the 'latest' in clothing fashion that has yet to be released to the general public. I think she's actually drooling. Every few minutes or so she lets out a high pitched yelp and then adds another item to the pile of clothes that I'm to try on.

Taking advantage of Alice's focused mania I answer Rose. '_Help me!'_

Rose responds immediately. '_No can do. Sorry but U asked 4 this!'_

I angrily text her back before putting my phone back in my bag. '_U R an evil biatch!' _

As a fellow professional and loyal customer, Alice has an exclusive 'in' with all of the trendy business shop owners, not to mention steep discounts on all their outrageously over-priced garments without which I couldn't afford even a pair of socks!

$500 for a pair of skinny jeans? Really? Come on - who throws their money away on this stuff anyway? Give me a $20 pair from Old Navy any day! Even the $50 ones that I end up paying for are far more than I'm used to spending. But I do have to admit that my ass and legs really do look amazing in them.

When realizing that complaining is a complete waste of my waning energy, I stop and switch tactics. I begin fervently praying for the Almighty to intervene instead … a thunderstorm for the electricity to go out … a tsunami or even an earthquake should effectively put an end to my torture. Maybe the CIA will raid the store and recruit Alice on the spot? I should be so lucky … She grabs my arm and drags me to the dressing room but truthfully it feels more like a prison cell.

I finally put my foot down when she starts pushing the fluorescent lime green and black zebra-stripped mini skirt that barely covers my ass cheeks and the one-arm, flesh-colored sheer top that prominently showcases my nipples like headlights. If I ever decide to take up pole dancing, I'll be back for them.

An hour later and I'm standing at the register. A really young and underpaid sales associate is flashing me an annoyed, 'I can't believe this' glare at me after running my new credit card issued in my name only, for a second time. Apparently I've gone over my credit limit.

Thank you very much Alice!

But there is no way that I am ever going to submit myself through this tortuous experience again so I reluctantly hand 'little miss snot-face' my joint Visa credit card. Maybe Edward won't notice the nearly $1300 that I've just spent on next month's statement. I quickly rationalize in a roundabout way that this unprecedented extravagance is for him … for us. Perhaps when I've been made-over and am more attractive, he won't need to look elsewhere …

My dad's words echo in my mind, "Once a cheater, always a cheater." If anyone knows, he does.

But at least I've survived part one of Mission: Bella. After convincing Alice that I couldn't possibly afford both an expensive dinner and a visit to her salon after maxing out my credit card, we compromise and eat at The Cheesecake Factory. I skip dinner altogether and plunge straight into a decadent red velvet cheesecake with a double espresso coffee. While in the throes of gastronomic ecstasy, Alice hair stylist calls and cancels my appointment. When I'm told of the tragic news, I give a performance worthy of a Raspberry appearing both crestfallen and distraught. Surprised by the depth and intensity of my sorrow, Alice quickly reschedules.

Damn! xfuc5%##j

"I just had a brilliant idea!" Alice exclaims as the elevator inside her head reaches the top floor. "You can use one of my wigs! This way you can find out if he prefers blondes, redhead or brunettes." She cringes at her last sentence.

"Oh I'm sorry!" Her hand darts to her mouth as she realizes her blunder and quickly apologizes.

"That's all right Alice. It's okay." I say letting her off the hook. "But maybe changing my look isn't going to matter one way or the other."

"Yea of little faith … carte blanche, Bella. We agreed." This she does remember.

I find myself following her back to the apartment she shares with Jasper all the way on the other side of town. By the time we arrive, it is getting late. Jasper is sprawled out on the couch wearing nothing but his underwear and watching a Mariner's game on the TV.

"Hey baby, I'm surprised you're back so soon. You're just in time for a little something-something." He calls out to Alice, his eyes never leaving the screen. "How did you and Bella make out?"

I clear my throat. "Hi Jasper." I quickly avert my eyes away from his partial nudity and clearly defined male member.

"Hey Bella." Jasper flushes and quickly sits up scanning the room for his pants.

Finding them draped over the armchair across from the couch, Alice brings them over to him and bends down, planting a lingering kiss on his lips.

"Hi honey."

It's obvious to me that my presence is hindering her homecoming.

"Did you two have a nice time?" He gives me a sympathetic look knowing full well what his girl is like when she is let loose and zips up his pants.

"It was fucking fantastic!" I sarcastically say with an exaggerated smile across my face. "How are you Jas? How are things going with the new album?"

Jasper lets out an audible sigh and frowns gesturing for me to sit. "It could be better. Edward has been rather distracted lately and we haven't been able to get that first track down just right."

Uncomfortable discussing Edward, I look down at my lap. "He always does his best work when he's distracted."

"Not this time." Jasper shakes his head. "He's pretty broken up about how things are between you two. I've known him for a long time and he can be obstinate and stubborn but trust me when I tell you that he still loves you. Don't give up on him Bella."

I'm unsure of what to say so I say nothing and spring to my feet. I know that if I continue to sit here, I'll turn into a wet sponge.

"You're just as equally bull-headed as he is." A knowing grin spreads over his face. "If two people were ever truly made for each other, it's you and Edward. I think you should come down to the Hive with Rose and Alice next week."

I shake my head. "I can't do that. He wouldn't want me there."

"I'm inviting you. Please tell me that you'll at least think about it. You being there might be the key to our being able to get that song down right."

He's being serious!

I shrug in a non-committed way and follow Alice into their impeccably decorated and pristine shrine of a bedroom and close the door behind me. Alice is rummaging through their closet. I sit on the side of their king-size bed and notice the partially opened nightstand drawer. Curiosity causes me to peer inside and I'm shocked by the vast assortment of sex toys in there; dildos, vibrators, butt plugs and handcuff's just to name a few items that I can detect. The image of the two of them going at it hot and heavy causes me to jump off of their scalding bed of sex.

Mary Alice Brandon! You naughty little minx!

A minute later Alice lays out five different natural, human hair wigs in various colors and styles. Now I have a fairly good idea why she has so many and what she does with them. I can't help but giggle wondering what it would be like role-playing with Edward.

My head accidentally hits the horn and I'm jolted back to the present. Once home I rummage through my bureau drawers desperately searching for my old, comfortable clothes but they're not there. I frantically search my closet and then my hamper, the washing machine and dryer but they're all gone. Every last pair of my holey sweats and t-shirts is missing. All that remains are the new clothes that Alice insisted that I purchase.

I grab my phone and send her a text. _'Where R my clothes?'_

Seconds later, my phone pings. '_Your rags R inside a dumpster where they belong. Did Edward like the new U?'_

I purposefully turn off my phone knowing that my silence will be more than enough punishment for what she has done.

Armed with a container of Ben & Jerry's Greek peanut butter yogurt, I spend the rest of the evening watching a marathon of last season's, 'The Vampire Diaries' and chastise myself each time I look across the street. At 1 a.m. I can't keep my eyes open any longer and finally turn off the TV and head to bed. The Volvo still hasn't returned.

Where are you Edward? Do I really want to know?

* * *

**A/N: Be careful what you wish for Bella … Now I'm certain that most of you are none too thrilled with Edward or Bella or me for that matter. Has either of them really strayed? Sometimes things aren't always what they appear to be but then again what is?**

**So, I'm asking nicely for it … please leave me a review. FYI, I can be as annoying as Alice so do it …. NOW!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns everything Twilight.**

**A/N: A huge thank you to my Beta T, Lovin Rob for her guidance with this difficult chapter. I'm posting a day early as I'll be away. **

**A piece of the puzzle is about to be revealed …**

* * *

Chapter Five

"My wife and I were happy for 20 years… then we met." Rodney Dangerfield

Edward

I'm vaguely aware of the sound of water being run in a nearby shower. Light is streaming through the slits of the partially opened vertical binds as my eyes flicker open and then close. They hurt and my head is pounding. I try opening them again.

What time is it?

Where am I?

My head is lying flat on the top of a firm mattress and there is a white cotton sheet twisted around my body. I am completely nude. I lift my head and find that my pillow is lying on the floor along with my boxers. The rest of my clothes are scattered haphazardly and lead a trail into the small adjoining sitting room. My wallet, keys and wedding band are on top of the nearby nightstand along with two shot glasses and an empty bottle of Jack Daniels. My eyes blink rapidly and widen upon seeing the two opened condom wrappers next to the bottle.

I turn my throbbing head to the other side of the bed and my breathing begins to accelerate as panic sets in. There is a lacy beige bra draped over an indented pillow. It appears that a woman must have slept beside me at one point. I pray that sleeping is all that we did together. Yeah, right … used condom wrappers!

Oh fuck! What the hell have I done?

I'm going to be sick but I can't exactly run into the bathroom. Whoever I've slept with is still inside the shower. I sit up and quickly grab the nearby garbage can feeling my abdominal muscles tighten and constrict. Violently I wrench the contents of my stomach into the can. Once the nausea passes I stumble to my feet and gather my clothes. As fast as my hung over body will allow in its present weakened condition, I dress, taking my wallet and keys. I stare at my wedding band – the symbol of my love and commitment that I made to my wife and shove it inside my pants pocket. A tidal wave of guilt and shame overwhelms me.

I must get the hell out of here, now!

Only finding one of my sneakers, I yank it on and stumble towards the door. An escape diagram is affixed to it. Apparently I'm at the Hyatt Regency, room #517. The water in the bathroom stops running just as I sprint down the hallway, catching the elevator before it's doors close. Inside a man and woman are sheltering their two small children away from me. It's only then that I catch sight of myself in the steel mirrored walls. No wonder they are protecting their children from me. I am a mess. My hair is tussled and my facial scruff is no longer nicely manicured. The buttons on my shirt aren't aligned properly and it's hanging over my unzipped jeans. But the most frightening thing about me is my wild and bloodshot eyes.

As soon as the doors re-open I bolt out into the hotel lobby and out the front doors. My Volvo is parked in front and I race towards it.

I really hope that I didn't get behind the wheel and drive here last night. It isn't until I'm safely inside that I realize I don't have my iPhone.

I don't fucking believe this!

There is no way that I'm going back inside that hotel room and face whoever it is that's inside there.

If I don't see her, it never happened, right?

Before putting the key into the ignition, I sit for several minutes running my hands nervously through my hair trying to pull myself together. Carelessly I back the car out of its parking space and step on the gas pedal surging forward onto the roadway cutting off the car that is unfortunate enough to be in my way. The car swerves to the left before correcting itself. Thankfully there are no other cars on the road.

The driver angrily flicks me off while laying his hand heavy on the horn. I know that I deserve that. At the next intersection, I make a sharp right turn and then another before I'm finally heading in the direction of my home.

What the hell happened last night? As I'm driving I desperately wrack my brain in an effort to remember everything that led to my waking this morning in a strange hotel room ... with a woman. Is it even morning? The digital clock on the Volvo's dashboard reads 11:35. Shit! Practice was at 10:00.

After leaving Dr. Stanley's office and our oh-so enlightening counseling session, I met with Vicky, James and Riley downtown at the Hive to listen to what we've recorded so far. It sucked big time and I remember being upset. James then suggested that we all head over to have a few drinks and a bite to eat at that new club, Shamrock Greens, to unwind and let loose. Of course I had too much to drink. The beer and chasers that followed went down so smoothly and my glass was never empty for long.

Vicky asked how the divorce was progressing and if the counseling sessions were helping at all. She seemed genuinely sympathetic to what I've been going through and insisted that I call her day or night if I needed someone to talk to. I'm so thankful to have her as a friend and agent. She is damn good at what she does and if it weren't for her, we might still be just another struggling band. James on the other hand was more concerned that we get this album recorded quickly so it could be released by Thanksgiving and he could send us on the road touring the country; possibly even Europe. Riley didn't stay with us for very long. After bringing us another round of drinks, I saw him leaving with a steroid enhanced muscled piece of beefcake on his arm.

The next part of the evening is unclear. One minute James and Vicky were seated in our booth and they were laughing and shamelessly making out and the next they weren't. They were replaced by four, five or maybe even six girls – I'm not sure how many and one of them was on my lap nibbling my ear and gyrating her ass over my crotch. The rest is a blank.

Fill in the blank numb nuts …

I turn into my driveway and sit another five minutes before opening the car door and entering my home … my broken home.

What the hell have I done?

I feel dirty … so filthy, fucking dirty!

I walk straight to the washroom and shed all of my clothes and shove them inside the washing machine. Doubling the detergent manufacturers recommended dosage; I pour two full capfuls into the machine and hit the on switch. The sound of water filling the tub masks my sobs as my body sinks to the floor. The magnitude of what I have done hits me like a Mack truck. I am the very thing that I've always assured Bella that I wasn't … I am a cheater.

She was right about me and that very thought crushes me.

**Four weeks earlier …**

"I swear to you honey, I don't know how that got inside my pocket!" Reflexively I swallow and shake my head in disbelief at the used condom that she is dangling by her fingertips in front of my face.

"Then how did it get inside of your pants pocket? We don't use condoms Edward but now I kind of wish we had." Bella demands, her face cannot mask the hurt she is feeling. "This had better be good this time."

I'm running both my hands through my hair and I'm unaware that I'm pulling on the ends. I don't have an explanation that will satisfy her but it's not mine and I have no idea how it got inside my pants. I see that it's still moist and filled with what appears to be some dude's cum. That thought alone makes me want to hurl.

"I'm still waiting Edward." Tears are streaming down my girl's face and I don't know what to say or do to make this go away.

Bella scans the small collection of items on the kitchen table that she has kept over the last few months. I can't believe she's held onto them. I thought we'd covered this already. There are bank ATM slips along with receipts for local restaurants and motel rooms that match the dates of the cash withdrawals, a cell phone statement with a few numbers highlighted that I've supposedly called or received calls from that she didn't recognize.

I'll admit that I did take cash out of the ATM machines but I didn't go to those restaurants or motels. Just like the soiled condom, I have no clue as to how they got inside my jacket or pants pockets. As for the frequent and unfamiliar phone numbers, it's not uncommon for me to get business calls from numbers that I don't know. But apparently that explanation wasn't good enough for Bella and when she actually called them, a girl always conveniently answered. Maybe I lent my phone to someone?

If all that wasn't damaging enough, there have been a few isolated incidents where some crazy girl that I've never met or seen before has shown up on our doorstep or approached Bella when she was out and about, insisting that I was their boyfriend. Unfortunately there will always be a small element of truly psycho fans that are fucking delusional. I can't control that unless we move to a gated home and hire bodyguards. Even that wouldn't guarantee we'd be untouchable.

All of this supposed 'evidence' added up makes me look as guilty as sin. As a result her confidence is me has been shaken and she is now convinced that I have been lying and unfaithful to her. And knowing her history I can understand that but fuck this isn't what it seems.

Why is this happening to me … to us?

"I have overlooked all of this!" She says calmly dropping the condom disdainfully in the trash. "I have given you the benefit of the doubt, time and time again and I've told myself repeatedly that you wouldn't betray me but truthfully, it's getting harder for me to believe you. I cannot continue to live this way Edward. I just can't."

I am standing there like a wuss. Say something you idiot!

"WHO IS SHE EDWARD!" Bella suddenly screams and I jump. I've never seen her like this before.

I continue to stare at her with my mouth hanging open, unable to form a coherent thought so I keep pulling on my hair and shaking my head. It's absolutely ludicrous that this is happening. Just when I thought my life couldn't be anymore fucking perfect, it's unraveling right before my eyes. Maybe karma is coming back to bite me in the ass. I'd been with many girls before Bella and may have broken a heart or two but from the moment I laid eyes on Isabella Swan, I was smitten. There has never been anyone else since nor will there ever be. She is 'it' for me. But how can I convince her of my innocence yet again.

"She's no one." I whisper.

This has to be the stupidest thing I've ever said in my entire life as it's practically an admission of guilt. Her eyes widen as my statement affirms her worst fears. Her chest is now heaving and she is struggling to take a full breath.

"I mean there is no one else! Please baby, I love you and only you!" I'm pleading as wet tears fall down my cheeks. I drop to my knees and throw my arms around her waist. She stiffens.

While I'm groveling her cell phone rings and I can't believe it when she actually answers it. We're having a major crisis in our marriage and she is going to chitchat! Who with, I wonder?

"This is not a good time Jake." Bella says in a clipped, restrained voice. "Yes, I'm talking with him now. I promise I'll call you later." She ends the call.

I find myself releasing my arms from her waist and I rise to my feet as I feel the green-eyed monster inside me take over. Yes, Jake is one of her closest friends and has been since they were kids but Jacob Black is a guy. Guys hit on girls – it's what we're programmed to do. It's in our DNA and while a part of me accepts Bella's 'friendship' with him, the caveman in me just cannot comprehend it.

I don't have any close female friends. I wonder how she would handle it if I did. The only girls I associate with on a regular basis are Alice, Rose and Vicky and there is no way that I would take their phone call while my wife was on her knees declaring her love and devotion and begging for my trust.

Now it's my turn and I let her have it with both barrels blazing. The words spill from my mouth before I can stop them.

"Did you and good old Jacob ever fuck?"

I've always wanted to know the answer to that question but I've never had the courage to come right out and ask her. If they had, there was no way that I could allow their 'friendship' to continue.

Now Bella stands staring at me in disbelief and I watch as she wipes the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand. Her mouth forms into a tight line and her nostrils begin to flare. She says nothing to me. After what seems like forever, she simply spins on her heels and heads to our bedroom.

I follow her and observe as she takes a suitcase from our closet and starts throwing some clothes inside. I know that she is madder than hell as she doesn't even fold them. But fuck, I don't want her to go.

"Let's calm down and talk this out." I reach for her arm.

She shakes her arm free. "Let's not."

I don't stop her when she climbs into that old, bucket of rust and drives off. I have a fairly good idea where she's going and maybe we both need a little time to think things over. At least that is what I tell myself.

The feel of the washing machine stopping jolts me out of my memory. I rub my eyes, feeling as if the weight of the world is upon me. I've really fucked up. I stand, running my hands in the chaotic mess atop my head and toss my clothes in the dryer. I walk buck-naked into the kitchen and grab a beer before heading to the bathroom. I fill the cast iron tub with steaming hot water before climbing inside and remain there until my skin is all prune-like and the water turns really cold.

How can I possibly make things right?

Fuck! What am I going to do now?

~StN~

Bella

I can feel his warm breath as his nose tickles my neck and his soft lips plant butterfly kisses from just below my ear down the side of my throat.

Mmm … this feels good. Edward is the best alarm clock.

I'm lying on my side and his body is pressing up against my backside. His delicate fingers are tracing a pattern up and down the length of my thigh and every few strokes he gently cups and massages my shapely ass. Letting him know that I want to play too, I salaciously wiggle my backside against his morning wood. He's so very hard that it makes me so wet. I need this … I need him so badly.

His hand moves over to my breast where he gently kneads and fondles my soft flesh before taking my nipple and rubbing it between his thumb and index finger. He then squeezes and molds my nipple into a stiff peak. I gasp as the exquisite sensation travels directly down to my sex. I try to turn around so I can face him but he suddenly places his leg over mine essentially trapping me. His hand then travels down past my flat, firm stomach as he flexes his hips. I can feel the wetness of his pre-cum against my lower back. I try to move again but it's no use.

I surrender … willingly I might add.

When his fingers reach and part my folds, he teases me by running them in circles around my swelling nub but purposefully skates around its center that is desperate for his handiwork. I moan softly and reach my hand back to take hold of his cock. I grasp it firmly and place my fingers over his slit before running the small amount of fluid that oozes out over his knob. I squeeze him gently. He bucks his hips once more and groans.

Finally his fingers move to the most sensitive spot on my clit and he begins a steady tortuous rhythm. I continue gliding my fingers up and down his hard shaft trying to match his strokes and soon we are a rising chorus of moans, our mutual need for release quickly escalates. A few more flicks of his magic fingers and I feel the coil in my lower belly begin to unravel and I'm consumed by the intensity of my on-going and powerful orgasm.

"Edward!" I cry out.

Silence is my answering reply.

I open my eyes and discover that I'm all alone in my bed. My fingers are between my legs, slick with my own wet juices.

It was a dream, a lousy fucking dream!

Tears suddenly well up and spill over the carefully constructed dam that I've built to protect myself theses past several weeks and I sob uncontrollably into my pillow.

For a few minutes, I question myself, wondering if I've made the right decision to leave him. There's little doubt in my mind that while I did need some time and distance to think things over, maybe I shouldn't have filed for a divorce so hastily. But I was so angry at the time that I wanted to strike out and hurt him but what I failed to realize was that I would be hurting myself too.

Shot yourself in the foot is more like it! My smart-ass inner voice mocks me.

Maybe I should have insisted that we go for counseling, like we are now. But would he have gone? You heard him yesterday; he thinks our sessions are a waste of time.

Maybe he was telling me the truth all along, as far-fetched as it seems. Would I have listened to him with an open mind? No, I sadly realize. I wouldn't have.

The night that I walked out on him … when he lashed out at me for taking Jake's phone call which was admittedly not the best thing for me to have done under the circumstances, was extremely difficult to do. But his audacity in asking me if I ever fucked one of my closest friends was the catalyst that sent me over the edge and made me realize we have some really serious issues that we may not be able to overcome.

It all comes down to trust, doesn't it?

Reaching for a tissue on my nightstand, I blow my disgusting snot-filled nose and try to calm myself down. My clock tells me that it's 8:45.

Get a grip girl!

I head over to the spare room and fire up my MacBook. I neglected to check my e-mail yesterday evening as my mind had been pre-occupied. While it fires up, I quickly run over to the window that faces my former home and find that the Volvo still isn't in the driveway. Edward never parks in the garage.

Maybe he's left already? My inner voice laughs and smirks ... maybe he never came home?

Shut the fuck up! I wrestle and slap that bitch down.

Don't get yourself all worked up, I tell myself. Don't jump to the worst conclusion. There has to be a logical and rational explanation as to why he never returned home last night.

Maybe he spent the night at Jasper, Emmett's or maybe even Riley's place? I shake my head at the last candidate. His staying with Riley is highly unlikely. And if he'd stayed with Jasper or Emmett, surely Alice or Rose would have called or texted to let me know. I smack my head remembering that I had shut my cell phone off. I locate my iPhone and quickly turn it on.

Maybe a little music will help get my mind off of him. I turn on my favorite Seattle radio station, 107.7 The End and find the same song is playing that was on the music video last night before I turned in. I find myself singing to the lyrics along with Seether and Amy Lee … it seems as if it was written just for me.

Because I'm broken, when I'm open

And I don't feel like I am strong enough

Because I'm broken, when I'm lonesome

And I don't feel right when you're gone away

Because I'm broken, when I'm open

And I don't feel like I am strong enough

Because I'm broken, when I'm lonesome

And I don't feel right when you're gone away

Because I'm broken, when I'm lonesome

And I don't feel right when you're gone...

You've gone away, you don't feel me here, anymore...

There are no missed calls but seven texts, four from Alice, two from Jacob and one from Rose.

Alice message #1: _' Waiting … what did Edward think of the nu U"_

Alice message #2: _'U should b thanking me. I did U a favor'_

Jacob's message #1: '_Did U read my Email'_

Alice message #3: _'U R mean'_

Alice message #4: _'U R killing me … spill'_

Jacob's message #2: _'R U OK – call me'_

Rose message #1: _'Thanx for ruining my nite. I H8 U'_

Returning to my desk, I open my e-mail. There are four in-coming messages, two of which are junk so I just delete them. I click on the first one. It's from Banner, my editor. He's forwarded another batch of e-mails from those who are desperately in need of my expert opinion and advice as to how they can solve their relationship problems. I sigh heavily. The irony is not lost on me. I scroll down and see that he's asked me to call him first thing Monday morning to discuss something of 'great importance.' Hmm … what can that possibly be? I really don't want to worry and analyze this all weekend so I reach for my phone and call him … he won't mind, I think.

"Banner." He answers on the first ring.

"Bella." I reply. "What is it that you need to discuss with me?"

Banner gets right to the point. He's a no nonsense kind of guy and I can tell that he's anxious to get off the phone. "Jenny Gilbert is going out on maternity leave effective immediately and while she is out, I want you to take over her duties in addition to your column. Can I count on you?"

A huge smile spreads across my face. Jenny writes a good portion of the articles for the Cultural Arts and Entertainment section of the newspaper. She gets to go out on assignments and interviews. Finally! My big break! Even though it's only for a short time, I know that I can prove myself and maybe I'll be considered for other assignments.

"Absolutely, I'm in." I say without hesitation.

"Good. I'll have Leigh e-mail you the particulars of your first assignment." He pauses. "One other thing … you're fired! Have a nice weekend!" He is laughing when he hangs up.

Things are already looking better. Maybe it's my lucky day and things will start to turn around. I'm not too worried about handling both the 'Dear Jane' column and the CAE duties too because I need the distraction now more than ever. Being busy will be a good thing for me.

I glance at my list of contact on my cell phone and more than anything wish I could press that number and talk to him and share my good news. He'd be happy for me. I know he would. While Alice, Rose and Jake are my bff's, Edward was my #1 bff and I miss him. There I said it. I miss him … so much.

I feel my tears attempting to resurface again and I fight them back. No Bella, you are not going to do that anymore. I take a deep cleansing breath and return to my e-mail inbox. I click on the one from Jake.

- Original Message -

From: Jacob Black

Sent: Friday, July 20, 2012 2:53 PM

To: Isabella Swan

Subject: Hang out?

Hey Bella! It feels like I haven't seen you in ages. How about coming home this weekend and I can take a look at your truck? We can catch up.

Holding my breath …

Jake

Suddenly the very idea of being holed up here the entire weekend and watching the house across the street seems rather suffocating to me. I haven't been back to Forks since before I filed for divorce. I really want to see my dad, Charlie, his girl-friend Lizzy and my kid-brother, Seth and of course, Jake. I click the reply tab and respond.

- Original Message -

From: Isabella Swan

Sent: Saturday, July 21, 2012 9:06 AM

To: Jacob Black

Subject: Are you psychic now?

Hey Jake, How did you know that I really needed to spend some time with my best friend? I'll see you in a couple of hours.

You can exhale now …

Bella

I grab my satchel from the top shelf of the closet and then sift through my closet and drawers. The pickings are slim but I still manage to find a few items that I can bring. I pack my new obscenely expensive skinny jeans and a silk blouse. As soon as I have the money, I promise myself that I'm going on another shopping spree by myself … to Target and Old Navy, maybe even Wal-mart.

In the back of the closet I notice my suitcase and on a whim, I open it. Inside is my favorite olive colored khaki pants and black t-shirt featuring a cartoon picture of bare feet sticking in an alligator's open mouth with the words 'SHUT UP' written underneath. I throw off my color coordinated pajamas and put these on instead.

Take that, Alice!

As I head out the door and grab my satchel, iPhone, MacBook and keys, I notice the black notebook on the kitchen table and I quickly stuff it inside my satchel. I'll look at it later … much later.

* * *

**A/N: So now you know why Edward and Bella are estranged. Was Edward really unfaithful or is something else going on? But you should know that sometimes things aren't always what they appear to be, of course sometimes they are but in this case ... well, would you trust him? Now, don't be so quick to bail on StN thinking that this is just another 'cheater' story – I'm asking for you to trust me.**

**I'm almost afraid to ask, but please leave me a review in the form of a comment or question. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns everything Twilight.**

**A/N: A shout of thanks to my wonderful Beta T, Lovin Rob! Admittedly, the last chapter was rough – especially for Edward. These two still are still worlds apart in reuniting but it's always darkest before the dawn, isn't it?**

* * *

Chapter Six

"Marriage is not just spiritual communion; it is also remembering to take out the trash." Dr. Joyce Brothers

Edward

My iPod is loudly blasting throughout the house, songs from my extensive play list on shuffle, echoing in every room. It covers my all-time favorite musicians and bands both past and present like Marcus Foster and Van Morrison to Washington's homeboys Jimi Hendrix, Pearl Jam, Nirvana and Band of Horses. I know it sounds cliché but music helps sooth the savage beast in my soul and takes my mind off of whatever ails me. If only for a brief time I can forget about my troubles. I turn the volume up even higher and get back to work singing along with Eddie Vedder.

Sheets of empty canvas, untouched sheets of clay

Were laid spread out before me, as her body once did

All five horizons revolved around her soul, as the earth to the sun

Now the air I tasted and breathed has taken a turn

Ooh, and all I taught her was everything

Ooh, I know she gave me all that she wore

And now my bitter hands shake beneath the clouds

Of what was everything

Of what was everything … I sigh deeply knowing exactly what he means …

All the pictures had

All been washed in black, tattooed everything

All the love gone bad, turned my world to black

Tattooed all I see, all that I am, all I'll be, yeah

I know someday you'll have a beautiful life

I know you'll be a star in somebody else's sky

But why, why, why can't it be, can't it be mine?

This isn't exactly getting my mind off of things...

I empty the contents of the dryer into the basket and transfer the wet clothes that are in the washer into the dryer before loading the washing machine yet again. When I finish folding and putting away this latest batch of clean clothes, it will make a total of eight loads that I've done so far this afternoon. I've even sorted and separated the whites from the dark and light colored clothes instead of throwing them all together like I normally would. Bella always insisted that this was the correct and proper way to do laundry. They look pretty good if I do say so myself, so maybe she was right.

Damn! I can't believe I had this many dirty clothes. Some of this stuff I haven't worn in years! Well at least I won't have to wash clothes for another month or so.

Next I tackle our bedroom by completely stripping the bed. It's a lot easier to do once I can see and walk on the floor again. I remove everything – from the jean fabric comforter to the mattress pad cover – even the many decorative and useless throw pillows. In the bathroom I pick up all of the soiled towels that are on the floor which is practically the contents of the entire linen closet. I am making slow and steady progress.

Why am I doing this now? It's simple. I need a distraction to keep my mind from dwelling on my unbelievable stupidity plus the house is starting to smell. Soon I'll have rats and cockroaches for pets. I'm not joking.

Moving over to the living room I quickly fill up three garbage bags worth of empty take-out food cartons, plastic wrappers, chip bags and cigarette butts. I then fill up the recycling bin with plastic bottles and beer cans and haul it all outside. I wash all the shot glasses and put them away. All my DVD's get sorted and put away before I start dusting and vacuuming the entire house. I thoroughly clean and sanitize the bathroom until I'm certain it would meet with Bella's approval. One of the last things I do is scrub the glass coffee table and drench it with Windex until it's just as shiny and blemish free as it used to be. I give a half-hearted smile and sigh.

My Les Paul is propped up next to the couch. Deciding to take a break, I remove it from its case. I sit on the edge of the couch and start strumming and singing …

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la-a

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la-a

La, la la la la la la la la la-a

La, la, la, la, laaa

Now that I've lost everything to you

You say you wanna start something new

And it's breakin' my heart you're leavin'

Baby, I'm grievin'

But if you wanna leave, take good care

Hope you have a lot of nice things to wear

But then a lot of nice things turn bad out there

Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world

It's hard to get by just upon a smile, girl

Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world

I'll always remember you like a child, girl

You know I've seen a lot of what the world can do

And it's breakin' my heart in two

Because I never wanna see you sad, girl

Don't be a bad girl

But if you wanna leave, take good care

Hope you make a lot of nice friends out there

But just remember there's a lot of bad and beware

Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world

It's hard to get by just upon a smile, girl

Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world

I'll always remember you like a child, girl

I set my Les Paul down and in the process spot the black notebook on the kitchen table, I take a seat and open it up. How hard can answering a few questions be?

'What do I want?' _Not to do this._

'What makes me angry?' _Having to do this._

'What am I afraid of?' _Doing this._

'What makes me happy?' _Definitely not this._

'What do I do well in my marriage?' _I hate to brag but ask Bella._

'What could I do better in my marriage?' _Ask Bella, she'll know._

'What are my dreams … goals?' _I've already reached them but lost the one that meant the most ... _

How do I feel now? _Alone, depressed and despondent … missing my wife._

After reading them all over again I shake my head … shrink questions but I'm certain I can bullshit my way through them. As for writing down my feelings – that's another story. I don't know if I can do that. I don't want anyone to know how I'm feeling after what I've done let alone having Dr. Stanley psycho-analyzing me. She'd have a field day!

I can only imagine our esteemed counselor sitting back in her chair with that superior expression on her face, her glasses sliding down the bridge of her nose as she's looking down on me. _"Tell me Edward, at twenty-six you seem to have finally gotten your shit together … a successful career, money, good friends and the love of a woman who adored you. Tell me why did you fuck it up? Could it because you don't feel worthy of any of it? Tell me about your childhood …"_

Oh shit.

It's dark by the time I put my pen down and I really don't feel like buying take-out yet again plus I still have some time to replace my iPhone before the Apple store closes at the Mall. I cringe wondering whose hands my old iPhone is in now. After all there is a lot of personal information stored on it. I shrug off that thought and grab the keys to the Volvo.

The tall gangly computer geek with the pocket protector tucked inside his red shirt at the Apple Store enters my old iPhone in their database as being lost and/or stolen. He's done a poor job of hiding his disapproval of the fact that I've waited so long to do this and is now looking at me as if I'm crazy or something.

Fuck yeah, I probably am. That would explain an awful lot.

But he quickly recovers when I purchase the latest iPhone 4 that 'features blazing speed and unlimited data' and on impulse also buy a MacBook laptop with the large 17" screen. It's for Bella and I reason that it's a necessity because her laptop at five years old is already considered a dinosaur and she relies on it daily for her livelihood.

Secretly I'm hoping that by presenting her with this token gesture, her attitude towards me will start to soften and she'll give me another chance. I am also hoping it will lessen the massive shit load of guilt and shame that I'm now drowning in.

My conscience sadly shakes his head and sighs deeply before smirking and wagging his middle finger. He's reminding me that Bella is too smart not to see right through this and that she cannot be bought.

Material things have never mattered at all to my girl. It's always been the 'little things' that put a smile on her beautiful face … taking an evening walk while holding hands … sharing a thick, warm walnut brownie with two scoops of vanilla ice cream, whip cream and chocolate sauce drizzled all over or when I'd brush her long, silky brown hair until it shone and she'd purr utterly content. That is until I'd make love to her until she'd moan and cry out for me … repeatedly.

Computer geek dude hands me back my Visa card and informs me that my card has been declined. Somehow, I've gone over my credit limit. I run my fingers through my hair. How is this possible? I open my thin wallet and give him my American Express card instead. I'm certain that I haven't charged anything with that recently. He then offers to help me bring my purchases to my car and of course, I decline.

What real man is going to admit that he needs help?

I struggle carrying the large box out to the dark parking lot and nearly drop it several times before I'm able to open the rear passenger door. As the Mall is closing, the parking lot is practically empty. I hear faint whimpering cries coming from someplace close by and decide to investigate. I put my purchases in the car haphazardly and head to where I hear the noises.

The lights in the parking lot cast out eerie shadows and mixed with the echoing cries cause the small hairs on the back of my neck to stand up. Sounds of nails scraping on metal get increasingly louder as I approach the large dumpster outside the rear of the Sears building. It sounds like some sort of trapped or wounded animal. Without a flashlight I can't be certain exactly what's inside. It could be a raccoon, a squirrel or even a skunk.

Fuck that!

I spin around hoping the doors to the building are still open so I can get someone out here to help free the poor thing. No such luck. The doors are locked. Returning to the dumpster, I pause and look around once more for someone else to save the day before climbing to the top and peering inside the pitch-dark container. It smells as bad as a dumpster can smell and I breathe through my mouth instead of my nose. A series of high pitched yelps and a set of bright eyes peer up at me while furiously scratching at the metal walls.

It's a dog!

"Hey little guy, what are you doing in there?" I lift myself over the top and lower myself down.

Suddenly I'm falling on my ass when two paws jump onto my chest and a soft tongue licks my face. The dog isn't very big so I'm able to tuck it underneath my left armpit while carefully climbing back to the top. Teetering precariously on the ledge of the dumpster, I hold on tightly to the little rascal before jumping to the ground. It's either a small dog or a puppy. He's squirming in my arms attempting to lick my face again but settles for nibbling on my fingers instead.

Ouch! It's definitely a puppy with puppy teeth and puppy breath. Who would dump a puppy in a dumpster and just leave it?

"What the hell am I going to do with you?" I ask him as he cocks his head to the side looking at me intently.

_Arf!_

"You want to come home with me, don't you boy? Are you even a boy?" I lift him up to inspect. Oh yeah, sausage and meatballs.

_Arf! _

I know that I just can't leave the puppy here and besides it's getting late. I decide to bring him home. I'll figure out what to do with him tomorrow. I've never had a dog before or a pet of my own for that matter. When I was growing up we had this nasty cat called Miss Cuddles that hissed and swatted at me whenever I came too close to my mom. Miss Cuddles thought she was mom's ninja bodyguard. I hated Miss Cuddles.

I open the front passenger door and place the puppy on the floor but he and his sharp nails jumps onto my nice leather seat. Again I put him back on the floor and again he jumps up. We play this game for a minute or two before I realize I can't possibly win. I close the door and walk over to the driver's side. Pup is now in my seat smiling up at me. Yes, he is most definitely smiling.

Oh you little fucker!

Somehow I manage to drive with the pup in my lap without causing a major collision. On the way home I make a quick stop at a convenience store with the little guy in my arms to pick up some dog food and a sub for me. For once the double takes that people are throwing my way aren't for me but for fido. It appears that warm, cute, and cuddly little puppies are great decoys. Hmm … who knew?

Once back at the house I take him into the backyard so he can do his business but he's not having any of it. He just sits looking at me as if he's waiting for me to show him what to do. So I walk over to the hedgerow of bushes that separate my yard from the neighbor's and whip out my dick letting loose a long, steady stream. Unfortunately, old Mrs. Willard chooses that exact moment to look out her kitchen window and gives me an awkward wave.

It seems that pup is about to follow suit as he sniffs the bushes but instead licks my urine from its small branches. Without a doubt you are one sick bastard!

I examine pup more closely. He's definitely a mutt of some sort – maybe a Husky mixed with Shepherd. His thick black coat has golden zebra stripes. One eye is blue while the other one is brown and one ear stands straight while the other flops over. Pup is one strange looking dog.

_Arf! Arf!_

He hears the pounding on the front door before I do. After opening the sliding glass door, he runs straight to the front door and stretches his front paws on top. His tail is waiving excitedly.

_Arf! Arf!_

"Edward, open up right now you son-of-a-bitch!" Rose yells. I detect Emmett's voice in the background.

I pick up the pup and open the door where I'm suddenly faced with the hostility of a very angry Rosalie. What the hell now? Her mercurial gaze trails from me to the little dog squirming in my arms as she brushes past me. Emmett purses his lips and exhales. He's wearing that look that says 'I'm sorry but you're in deep shit'.

"Aren't you just full of surprises today Edward!" The tone of her voice is toxic.

"Hello to you too Rose." I close the front door and put the pup down. He is a ball of excitement, shaking his torso and wagging his tail. "To what do I own this unwelcome visit at this late hour?"

"Are you that obtuse? You really have no idea why we're here?" Venom drips from her acid lips.

Emmett leans down and the pup is all over him, licking his face and hands. "Hey little dude … is he yours Edward?"

"Nope – found him in a dumpster." The pup runs back to me and sits on top of my feet.

"What an appropriate place for scum like you to be hanging out." Her hands are now squared on her hips, Rose looks like she is about to bust a gasket. "How could you do this to Bella? You didn't even have the decency to wait until the divorce was final before you let the entire world witness your man-whoring!"

I shake my head in confusion. My eyes question Emmett's. He shakes his head and looks away essentially letting me know that I am on my own with Rose. Gee thanks buddy.

"Don't play stupid with me, fucktard!" She continues her verbal assault. "You are the star of the internet today." Whipping out her cell, she quickly brings up the trending hot gossip stories and hands her phone over to me.

As I read the headline and look at the supporting pictures, I can barely breathe. This is bad. Real bad.

"You really fucked up this time." Emmett shakes his head.

Rose starts jabbing my arm with her sharp fingernails and screeches loudly. "What do you have to say for yourself asshole?"

_Grrr … grrr … _

I'm not capable of speech. All I can think about is Bella looking at these pictures. Pup takes this moment to leisurely stroll over to Rose and nonchalantly lifts his leg finally letting loose all over her.

I think I might have to keep him now. Good boy!

~StN~

Bella

Traffic is light as I leave the Seattle metropolitan area and drive the three hours to my tiny hometown of Forks. It's turning out to be a warm and sunny day – a rarity for this part of the country. I'm really looking forward to seeing my family and spending time with Jake at the beach. There is something rejuvenating about being near the water for me. Watching the gentle waves splaying forward before receding back into its deep waters … it relaxes me.

My old truck's engine is making strange new sounds. This can't be good. I find myself pleading with her to get us home. She can't die on me now. It's a good thing that Jake is going to take a look at her today since he is a top-notch mechanic and is totally responsible for extending her life. Attempting to drown out the increasingly loud noises, I turn up the volume of the only radio station that comes in clearly – an oldies station.

Stayed in bed all morning just to pass the time

There's something wrong here

There can be no denying

One of us is changing

Or maybe we've just stopped trying

And it's too late baby, now it's too late

Though we really did try to make it

Something inside has died and I can't hide

And I just can't fake it

I refuse to think negatively this morning so I quickly turn off the radio to shut Carole up. As I continue driving I think back to happier times … much happier …

**Sixteen months earlier … **

Edward and I are strolling hand in hand through the quaint brick streets of Seattle's Pioneer Square enjoying First Thursday's Art Walk. It's a truly unique experience. On the first Thursday of every month art dealers hand out printed maps and paint footprints on the sidewalks that lead to their galleries introducing their new exhibitions and artists.

The white-globed streetlights are turning on one by one, softly illuminating our steps but truthfully, I am already walking on a cloud. Edward's fingers laced with mine are the only thing keeping me tethered to the ground. The one thing I'd always doubted would happen to me finally has … I've fallen in love! Totally, irrevocably, head-over-heals in love and what's even more amazing is that this incredibly talented, intelligent – not to mention gorgeous man loves me back.

Pinch me!

I've never been so happy in my entire life as I have these past two months. Edward shot into my hemisphere like a comet … eclipsing everything that came before him and promising to blind me to whatever may follow in his path. Though it hadn't quite started out that way and I laugh to myself remembering the fiasco that was our first meeting. My initial impression of him was less than favorable but I sensed there was something about him and gave him another chance. Slowly I've come to know the real Edward … the incredibly sweet, caring, complicated and goofy man that he is. And once I did I couldn't help but fall for him. And now I spend more time at his and Jasper's apartment than I do at Alice's and mine but then again, Jasper isn't around very much these days either. I have my suspicions as to why that might be.

In between the many galleries we've already toured, Edward suddenly stops in front of a historic Native American Totem Pole and tugs on my hand pulling me into his arms – right in the middle of the street! As the world passes us by, his lips seek mine and I'm caught up in my overwhelming need for this man. I deepen our kiss and run my fingers through the back of his soft hair. Our tongues dance together and I'm awash in feelings and emotions that I have no name for.

"I love you Isabella." He whispers, his lips still touching mine. "I don't say those words lightly."

"Have you ever said them before?" I ask, holding my breath.

"Yes, of course I have." His fingers lift my chin when he sees the disappointment I can't hide. "My mother." He smirks.

"That's not what I meant and you know it." I purse my lips together.

"Have you ever said them to anyone Bella?" He inquires staring intently into my eyes while smoothing my bottom lip with his fingertips.

"No, I haven't." I watch as his face brightens. Edward's smile should be one of the Seven Wonders of the World.

"Me neither." His lips find mine once more and I know that I am home.

"I love you Edward." I whisper. "My heart belongs to you. Please don't break it."

"Never baby." Draping his arm over my shoulder and pulling me closely to his side, we continue on.

I'm abruptly jolted out of my sweet memory when I notice steam pouring out of the hood of my truck. I'm roughly fifteen minutes from the outskirts of Forks. I grab my cell and call Jake after parking on the shoulder of the road.

"Hey Bella – you home yet?" His voice sounds hopeful.

I audibly sigh. "I'm afraid my old truck didn't quite make it. I'm broken down on the 101 just north of Forks near Ferrellgas."

"Say no more, Jake is on the way to save the day!" He laughs. "I'm in town so I'll see you soon."

"My hero!" I reply smiling into my phone and end the call.

Sure enough Jake pulls behind my truck in no time at all. He's driving a newer VW Jetta – one of the many cars that he owns. Fixing up and reselling cars is a hobby and side business of his. We both step out at the same time and before I know it, he's pulling me into a tight hug. Jacob is one of those rare individuals that people are automatically drawn to. He exudes that special undefined 'something' that makes you feel at ease in his presence.

"How is my best girl?" Stepping back, he spins me around inspecting me. "You look good all things considered."

"Now that I'm with you, I'm much better." He takes my hand and steers me back over to my truck.

"Let's see if I can work my magic yet again. Abracadabra!" He waves his hand in the air and we both start laughing.

Five minutes later, Jake closes the hood and wipes his hands on the rag he has tucked inside the back pocket of his pants.

"A hose disconnected. It should be okay to drive … at least until I can get it back to the shop so I can take a closer look." Shaking his head, he frowns. "You know Bella, it might be time to …"

I stop him before he says the words. "Please Jake, do whatever you can to keep her running. I can't afford to replace her now. Besides we've been through so much together … it'd be like losing a dear friend."

"I'll see what I can do. But for now we're switching vehicles." He says firmly, raising an eyebrow daring me to challenge him. "Don't even think of being your usual pain-in-the-ass self and giving me a hard time about it."

"I wouldn't dare." I surprise us both when I throw my arms around his neck and kiss his cheek. He blushes before wrapping his arms around my waist pulling me close.

"What would I do without you?" I whisper as I fight back my tears.

"Hey … what's this?" Lifting my chin, he wipes away the few stray tears that have escaped. "Bella, I'll always be here for you." Suddenly he releases me and points me in the direction of his car before swatting my behind. "Meet me at La Push beach as soon as you can break away and bring the little cockroach."

"Your wish is my command." After displaying an exaggerated bow, I run over to his car and hop inside.

Yes, this is exactly what I needed this weekend. I give him a quick wave as I drive past him and head down the road in the direction of my childhood home.

An hour later I'm helping Lizzy – my dad Charlie's, longtime live-in girlfriend, set the table for lunch. She's made a mouthwatering cold pasta dish with a fresh salad made from the vegetables in her garden. Lizzy is nothing like my mother, Renee. Where Renee couldn't boil water to save her life, Lizzy is a gourmet chef and owns her own catering business. I have no idea what my mom is up to these days as no one has heard from her in years. But what I love most about Lizzy is her compassion and steadfast loyalty – especially when it comes to Charlie. Dad isn't exactly the easiest person to live with especially after the number that Renee pulled on him. We've all suffered the consequences of her deceit in one way or another.

"It's great to see you Bella." Lizzy says giving me a hug. "How are you doing … really?"

I take deep breath and exhale. "At this moment I'm fine but if you ask me later … I really believed that what Edward and I shared was special and unbreakable."

"You haven't told me what happened between you two and I don't want to pry." She hesitates. "But if you ever need someone to talk to or just listen, I'm here for you Bella."

I wrap my arms around her. "Thank you." I wish Lizzy were my real mom.

Charlie comes waltzing into the kitchen and gives me a peck on the cheek before heading straight to the fridge for a beer. A loud hiss follows when he pulls the tab back on the can. Taking a long swig, he belches loudly before adding his two cents to the conversation he had overheard between Lizzy and me.

"Bells, I can't say I'm too surprised that your marriage tanked." He takes another long drink. "You know I never liked Edward Cullen. He's a cocky, arrogant asshole. You could have done so much better than that son-of-a-bitch. I still don't understand why you and Jacob never gave it a try."

I roll my eyes at him and shake my head. "That would have been too weird. I don't see him that way. Jake is like a brother to me."

"From the very first time I met that dickhead, I just KNEW that he'd hurt you. I tried to warn you about him, didn't I?" He continues with his rehearsed monologue. "But did you listen to your old man? No, of course not! You ran off and married Edward fucking Cullen. I tried to save you from certain heartbreak and from making the same mistake I did with your mother …"

"Stop it!" I yell. I've had enough. "It always comes back to Renee, doesn't it? I'm sorry that my mother hurt you and was basically a whore who fucked every dick in Clallam County but just because he is a musician and a bit of a free-spirit too, doesn't mean that Edward is the same as Renee!"

"Oh no?" He has that 'I told you so' look on his face. "Take a look at this."

He hands me his cell and I grab onto the countertop to steady myself after I zero in on the headline and photo of Edward with several girls hanging all over him, touching him everywhere. A bleached blonde is straddling his lap; her back is facing the camera so I can't see her face, not that I want to. Edward's eyes are half-closed. He looks so wasted but his hands are resting on the blonde bimbo's ass.

My worst fears have come true after all. I grab my bag and Jake's car keys and run out the door.

How could you do this to us Edward?

* * *

**A/N: Even though a picture is worth a thousand words, it still may not tell the entire story. Damn paparazzi! I wonder if they have been tipped off? But at least Edward is trying to get himself together and even has a new companion. _Arf! _****Did you enjoy the glimpse of our couple together happy and very much in love? Do you think Bella's past influences her present?**

**Kudos and accolades to the following bands and musicians featured in this chapter: **'**Black' by Pearl Jam; 'Wild World' by Cat Stevens and 'It's Too Late' by Carole King.**

**On a final note, I would like to recommend a brand new fanfiction story written by my Beta T, Lovin Rob. I've had the privilege of reading ahead and its soooo good! It's called 'A Dry Heat' but let me assure you that it is anything but dry! Grab an extra set of sham wow panties cause no one, and I mean NO ONE, writes lemons like Lovin Rob. Here's a brief summary:**

'**When Bella moves from New York City to the California desert to carefor her ailing grandmother she never expected that she would meet the man ofher dreams. A man that would set her heart, body and soul on fire. But this man comes with a price, a heavy price. Will their love be able to survive the ****life he had before her or will it melt away in the dry heat.'**

**Story ID: 8259969**


	7. Chapter 7

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns everything Twilight.**

**A/N: In case I haven't said lately how much I appreciate my Beta T, Lovin Rob, I most definitely do. Thanks darlin'**

**It's obvious that our favorite couple still love each other. If only they were locked in a room together until ...**

* * *

Chapter Seven

"Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight." George Lichtenberg

Bella

I make it as far as the VW before the floodgates burst wide open and I'm pulled under, consumed by my excruciatingly painful and raw emotions. My hands are sprawled on top of the hood, supporting my heaving frame. I can no longer hold back my angry, hot tears from flowing or stop my body from trembling.

My right hand fists tightly and before I can stop myself, I slam it down on the hood. Again and again I pummel the hood as if it were a punching bag, only it isn't and my brain is only now getting the message that my hand hurts.

Ouch! Fuck you Edward! Fuck me! Oh shit, shit, shit this hurts!

The next thing I know Charlie is standing behind me and his hand reaches out and stops me from hitting the hood yet again. I turn around and bury my face in my dad's shirt and throw my arms around his neck. He enfolds me tightly cradling me against him. Our roles are now effectively reversed having had to comfort my dad innumerable times in the past.

"I'm real sorry about that … inside." He says, his voice breaking, "I'm an ass. I didn't mean to hurt you … it's just …"

"I know." I wipe my nose on his sleeve. "Oh dad, how did you handle it? It's just too painful."

"Not very well, I'm afraid. I spent far too many nights drinking myself into oblivion and leaning on my young daughter when I should have been shielding you, protecting you from …" He suddenly stops. "I swear if I ever see that two-timing husband of yours, he is going to wish he had never been born!"

"You'll have to get in line." I half-heartedly joke and then wince, my hand is really throbbing now.

"Let's go inside and put some ice on it." He examines my hand quickly. "And here I thought the days of emergency room visits were behind us." The corners of his mouth flicker upward into a restrained smile.

Seth comes barreling up the driveway, furiously pedaling his bike. Slamming on the brakes, he comes to an abrupt halt. His bike swings to the right causing stones to fly everywhere. Smiling profusely, he looks really pleased with his 'burn out' and jumps off.

Seth is my thirteen-year-old half-brother. Of course he acts like he is much older than that. Lizzy is his mom. We both have Charlie's thick dark, brown hair and chocolate colored eyes. He's normally a pretty cool kid but a tad bit precocious and stubborn as hell at times. It must be a family trait.

"Hey sis!" He says as he joins us. "What happened to Jake's car?" The hood has several pronounced indentations marring its smooth finish.

Fuck! Jake's car! Oh no!

"Never you mind kiddo." Charlie steers us both back towards the house.

"Is Edward here?" Seth excitedly asks. My brother literally worships Edward and is without a doubt, Bull Rants #1 fan.

"Um … no he's not here." I reply and effectively steer the subject away from the object of Seth's obsession. "I'm going to La Push beach after lunch. Jake will be there. Do you want to come?"

"Hell yeah!" Seth exclaims, pumping his arm in the air.

"Watch your mouth young man or you won't be going anywhere." Charlie growls.

An hour or so later, Seth is racing down the stairs clutching his baseball bat and glove. He breezes past me and opens the hall closet searching and tossing items into the small front entry.

"Mom!" He hollers. "Have you seen my balls and extra glove?"

I can't help but chuckle. Sometimes he just makes it too easy not to tease him. "If you are looking for your balls Seth, maybe you didn't have any to start with."

"Ha ha, you're so funny!" He shoots back. Even though his back is to me, his ears redden and I know he's blushing. Another minute and he finds them. "Let's go!"

"Not until you straighten up this closet." I shake my head.

"Ah man … that's women's work. Clean it up wench!" He watches as my eyes narrow into cat slits. "All right, all right I'll do it! I'll bet you badger Edward all the time too. That must be why you two are fighting." He suddenly stops.

"I'll meet you in the car." I march out the front door. Yep, he's definitely his father's son. I wonder how much he's overheard Charlie and Lizzy say about my marriage.

As soon as we leave the town limits, the more rural the scenery becomes. The trees and surrounding foliage are thick and green. You can't see too far into the dense woods. Even though Seth is practically bouncing in his seat and playing with the radio, I feel myself start to relax a little. That is until he settles on a song and starts to screech the lyrics on the top of his lungs.

On the other side of a street I knew

Stood a girl that looked like you

I guess that's deja vu

But I thought this can't be true

Cause you moved to west L.A or New York or Santa Fe

Or where ever to get away from me

Oh but that one night

Was more than just right

I didn't leave you 'cause I was all through

Oh I was overwhelmed, and frankly scared as hell

Because I really fell for you

Oh I swear to you

I'll be there for you

This is not a drive by

I quickly turn the radio off and Seth continues to talk my ear off the rest of the way. I park the Jetta next to Jake's old VW bus at the north entrance. This section of the beach is fairly remote and not very popular which is why ours are the only cars parked in the small lot. Jake is on his cell but when he sees us, he gets off and jumps out.

He shakes his head. "Still no service out here. You'd think they'd put up a cell tower by now."

Seth takes this opportunity to lay into Jake. "Trying to call your girlfriend?" He mocks. "Maybe she sees it's you and doesn't want to pick up."

"You just wait you annoying little cockroach." Jake playfully pulls Seth's Mariner's cap off his head and takes off towards the beach. Seth runs after him.

It's a short walk down an overgrown path to get there. And of course, me being me I am tripping over my own two feet. Soon I'm on a nice stretch of light brown, pebbled sand with the occasional piece of driftwood protruding from the ground which I carefully skirt around. In the distance are the cliffs that the reservation boys dive off of. Seth makes it a point to inform me that boys his age jump from it all the time. I pretend not to hear him.

They run ahead of me while putting on their gloves with smiles plastered on their carefree faces. Taking their positions they begin their exchange of throwing and catching the ball while I find a large piece of driftwood to sit on. Jake forcefully throws and Seth gracefully catches. Seth is actually a really good ball player and is a star on the local team.

"Hey Bella! How am I doing?" Seth shouts, looking in my direction.

"You're awesome dude! Future MVP for sure!" I yell back.

Jake takes advantage while Seth isn't watching and tosses the ball. Taken off guard, Seth misses.

"MVP my butt!" Jake laughs. "Maybe MVP on the girl's team."

"Well you would know!" Seth dishes right back and then throws a mean curve ball. Jake misses.

As two of my favorite guys continue to practice and trade insults, I'm transported back to another time when Edward and I visited Mariner's Safeco Field under the auspicious pretense of practicing. It was well after midnight and the ballpark was closed …

**Seventeen months earlier …**

Edward is holding my hand and pulling me towards the eight-inch gap between the fences on the far side of the ballpark. The field itself is fairly dark. The only light comes from the long hallway near the entrance where the bleachers spread out in both directions. He tosses the bat, gloves and balls through the gap and onto the field.

"Edward, what if we get caught?" I ask breathless and excited. I've never done anything illegal before.

"The boys and I come here sometimes to hang out." He shrugs. "We haven't been caught yet."

"I didn't think you liked sports." I watch as he contorts his tall, thin frame through the gap.

"I don't normally but there are a few exceptions." He's through and is gesturing for me to do the same.

I hesitate. "Will you come to visit me in jail if I get arrested and you manage to escape?"

"Absolutely." He grins and holds his hand out for me to take.

Once through, he gives me the balls and I follow him out to the middle of the outfield. It's eerily quiet but I feel as if we're being watched. Suddenly he stops and drops the glove and bat to the ground. He turns around to face me and I can feel the electricity sparking between us. In two swift steps he wraps his arms around my waist pulling me close and grinds himself against me. Even in the dark, there is no mistaking the outline of his growing erection pressing into my hip.

"Edward …?" He silences and answers my unspoken question with his mouth on mine.

His tongue probes and plunges into my mouth as he deepens the intensity of our kiss. It's raw and hot and suddenly every nerve cell in my body is screaming for more. I'm gasping for air and my heart is racing. I think I'm going to combust on the spot. He suddenly pulls back and gives me that knowing smirk that turns me into a quivering mass of need and desire.

"Are you ready to play?" He asks in a tantalizing, seductive voice.

"I thought we were going to play ball." I manage to say as I pant.

"Why yes we are." He then takes my hand in his and lowers them to his crotch wrapping my fingers around the outline of his testicles. "I want you to play with my balls."

I glance at my hand and then up into his dark and wanting eyes.

"But first I think we need to discuss the rules of the game." His lips kiss me again but this time, more chastely.

"What rules?" I'm slightly confused by the change in direction we've taken tonight but I definitely want to play.

"You know … the bases … first, second, third and um … home." Moving my hand back up to his waistband he unsnaps the first button and has my fingers pull down his zipper. He repeats this process with my jeans.

I waste no time sliding my hand inside his boxers and wrap my fingers around his impressive cock. His breathing quickens as I unleash him and begin to stroke his length.

"Oh no Bella, I think we're skipping a few bases." Edward chastises me as he moves his mouth over to my neck, nibbling and kissing his way down my collarbone. His warm breath caresses my skin.

"First base." He breathes.

It tickles and I start to giggle but I don't stop stroking him as he continues to expand and harden in my hand. He pulls the hem of my shirt up and with skilled precision undoes my bra strap setting each breast free. Lowering us both down to the soft manicured grass, his mouth latches onto my nipple gently sucking one and then the other. I moan loudly. The feeling is beyond exquisite.

"Second base." He murmurs and I know he's smiling.

Edward's hand then travels down my navel and slides underneath my pants until he reaches my panties. I am squirming, pressing my groin into his hand desperately needing the friction that his fingers promise against my swelling nub. He briefly withdraws them as he yanks my pants down past my ankles along with my panties and spreads my legs apart. I am sprawled out in the middle of the outfield of a major ballpark, practically naked and I've never been so turned on.

Separating my folds his fingers start to work their magic and I am vaguely aware that I am breathing hard and moaning so loudly that it's embarrassing.

"I need you!" I cry out to him. "Suck me Edward … make me come with your mouth."

I hear him gasp before sliding a finger deep inside of me and then another, twirling them against my spot as his thumb continues to massage my clitoris. He then glides his tongue over my belly button and continues south until it reaches my sex. His lips begin to lick and suck on my clit and all I can focus on is the sweet feeling building within my lower belly before my body seizes and succumbs to his relentless ministrations and I combust into an intensely powerful and oh-so satisfying orgasm.

"Third base." He whispers triumphantly. "God Bella, you're so wet and ready. I am going to fuck you now."

"Hmm …" I'm barely capable of coherent speech as I'm still coming down from my climax.

Before I fully finish, he guides my legs over his shoulders and swiftly enters me and the bold pace he's setting causes my body to coil yet again as he begins to thrust hard and fast. I synchronize my movements with his and soon we're firing like a well-oiled machine. He is moaning and grunting just as loudly as I am.

"Home run!" He cries out and together our bodies detonate and convulse. Our hands cling and hold onto each other tightly as we ride out wave after wave of pure unadulterated pleasure. Our breathing is ragged. We're both fully spent.

No sooner do we bask in the afterglow of our lovemaking when the water sprinkler system suddenly turns on and we're doused in a steady mist of water that encompasses the entire outfield. We're both scrambling to put on our now soaking wet clothes as best as we can but we are most definitely a sight to behold. Laughing the entire way, we bolt for the fence leaving the glove, bat and balls behind. Thankfully the balls I love the most are attached to the man that I've fallen in love with.

I'm abruptly brought back to reality when the cold drops from Seth's wet hair hits my face. When did he jump in the water? Jake is standing next to him totally dry and smirking.

"Did you see Jake throw me in?" Seth seems to have enjoyed it. "Now that I'm all wet, can I jump from the cliffs?"

"Not a chance." I watch as his smile fades.

"Can I go see what those boys found over there?" Seth asks pointing down the beach. Three boys are huddled next to a cluster of large rocks.

"All right but don't go in the water again." I give Jake a look of reproach. "We're going home soon." I watch as my kid-brother runs and joins the trio. I wish I were as carefree.

"So where were you just now?" Jake asks as he joins me on the driftwood.

I close my eyes and sigh. "My mind keeps replaying moments in my life with Edward trying to pinpoint exactly when things went from being fucking fantastic to totally fucked up." Jake is a good listener. "Things have spiraled out of control so fast and I can't seem to wrap my head around any of it. Was I wrong about him?"

His one eyebrow shoots up in surprise. "I've never known two people more crazy in love than you and Edward. Something doesn't feel right to me about any of this shit. Are you regularly talking to each other?"

"We're in counseling." I off-handedly reply.

He shakes his head. "Come on, we both know that you are only doing that to speed up the divorce that you two morons think you want. Seriously, are you _really _talking?"

"I have nothing to say to him." I lie. "Didn't you see those internet pictures today?"

"What I saw was a man in considerable pain trying to drown his sorrows." Jake takes my hand. "As your friend Bella, I urge you to reach out to Edward. Maybe it will make a difference and maybe it won't but if you never try, you'll never know. You'll always wonder 'what if' and then you'll probably turn into an old, nasty bitch. You are already well on your way."

"I am not!" I smack his face with his own hand.

"You are too! Tell me what happened to the hood of the VW?" He looks at my red, swollen knuckles. "You can't fool me Bella. I know you too well."

We continue to sit for a few more minutes. "I want to leave now. I'm going back to Seattle to talk to my husband. Is my truck road-worthy?"

Jake puts his arm around my shoulder and pulls me close. "No, it's not. It's on life support and I'm afraid to tell you that the patient is not going to make it. I'm giving you the Jetta that you've beaten up. Oh – and I'm coming with you to Seattle for a few days and don't even think about arguing with me. Do you want to leave this evening or in the morning?"

"This evening I think." I'm strengthened by Jake's unwavering support. I really do need him. "You are such a good friend to me Jacob Black."

"I know." He gives me a cocky smile.

~StN~

Edward

If I wasn't so preoccupied with the questionable photo's of me being posted on the internet that I have absolutely no recollection of being taken, I might have shown Rose a little sympathy for the pup unloading on her leg but at the moment I have none to spare. While Emmett quickly steers his wife into the bathroom, shrieking the entire way so she can clean herself up, I continue to stare at the photos. I'm wracking my brain as to how these women came to be all over me and also how the paparazzi had access. I do recall that our small group had been seated in a private VIP area of the club. No one should have been allowed where I was without prior approval from my management team and security. I need answers and I want them now.

I whip out my new cell phone and dial. She answers on the first ring.

"Oh thank goodness you're all right Edward!" Vicky says so loudly into the phone that I have to pull it away from my ear. "James and I are in Vancouver. I've been calling you all day long! Where the hell have you been?"

I don't have the time or patience for pleasantries. "Who were those girls and how did the papz get those pictures? How the fuck did this happen Vicky?" I'm yelling now and I'm certain she's had to remove her phone from her ear now.

"Calm down Edward …" She is using her condescending tone of voice with me as if she was speaking to a small child and I'm not having it.

"No! You listen to me Vicky; do you have any idea the irreparable damage these pictures may have done?" I'm trying to restrain myself from totally going off on her and add in a strained voice. "Explain how this was allowed to happen?"

"You really don't remember?" Her voice softens and I can hear her concern. "After Riley took off with Hot Cross buns you insisted on getting another drink from the bar all by your lonesome. As you're no longer a child – well mostly, we couldn't exactly stop you from going. Five minutes later you returned with a hot blonde and you seemed … um, very interested to put it mildly."

As Vicky retells the tale, I have a vague recollection of being at the bar. "Why did you and James leave me there? Where was security?"

"When James and I called it a night, security was still there." She pauses. "But honestly Edward, you and blondie were going at it pretty hot and heavy. It was pretty obvious to us and anyone else who saw what was happening that she would be leaving with you – you gave her your car keys and waived to us so we left."

"I don't remember any of that." As I'm running my hands through my hair, a thought suddenly occurs to me. "Maybe something was slipped into my drink?"

"Like one of those date-rape drugs?" Vicky gasps. "Are you home now?"

"Yes." I whisper. If I had been drugged as well as being a bit drunk, this would explain my lapse in memory, drowsiness and nausea.

"Stay there. I'm going to send a doctor over to check you out." I can hear James in the background demanding to know if I'm all right.

"Hey Vicky, I'm sorry for jumping all over you … this has really freaked me out." I lower myself onto the couch. "I think the blonde has my cell phone. I just came back a little while ago from the Apple store with a replacement. That's why I didn't know any of this shit until now or answer any of your calls."

"James and I will be coming home in the morning. We can discuss this later." Vicky reassures me.

After we hang up I sit frozen with the pup on the floor sniffing my feet. It suddenly hits me how very vulnerable I've let my self become. I could have been killed last night or never woken up this morning. The thought is sobering and it's the wake-up call I've so desperately needed. Maybe I should hire bodyguards and move to a gated home. I definitely have to stop the heavy drinking and careless behavior. It's time that I grow the fuck up.

I have an overwhelming desire to find Bella to discuss this with her and talk … really talk, none of this bullshit that we've been doing. I've been an unbelievable asshole wallowing in self-pity and feeling sorry for myself. No one is more important to me than my wife and I've failed her miserably. Hell, I don't even know where she is! Somehow I have to let her know how much she means to me and how truly sorry I am. I just hope that I'm not too late.

Like the puppy worshipping at my feet, Emmett follows Rose into the living room. He's so pussy whipped and I'm actually a little jealous.

"I've taken a pair of your sweat pants Edward." Rose informs me. Pup gets up and walks over towards her. "Keep him away from me!"

"Aw Rose, he's just a puppy." Emmett scoops him up. "You didn't mean to piss on Rosie, did you boy?"

_Arf!_

"Put Cujo down, we're leaving now." She snaps at Emmett and marches to the front door.

I jump up and race over to stop Rose from leaving. "Please tell me where Bella is. I have to speak to her." I watch as her face contorts with disgust. "Please Rose, it's important."

"No. I won't let you hurt her anymore. Bella is finished with you Edward – washed her hands and is moving on and I say, 'good riddance'." Her harsh words stun me.

What does she mean by 'moving on'? An uneasy feeling descends over me. I glance over at Emmett who is looking anywhere but at me and I know that he isn't going to help me find Bella either.

Pussy man! I'll bet he's growing a vagina!

But I'm going to find Bella just as soon as the doctor has examined me and we will talk. As soon as Rose and Emmett take off, I call Bella but it goes straight to her voice mail. Shit!

"You have reached the voice mail of Isabella Swan. Please leave a message after the beep." Beep

"Bella, it's me. Listen, I need to speak with you as soon as you get this message. Please call me."

Then I call Alice who seems to want to help but quickly gets off the phone after explaining that Bella doesn't want to talk to me and that she has to honor her friend's wishes even though she doesn't agree … blah, blah, fuck! I text Jasper asking him to work on Alice but he tells me his hands are tied.

Another pussy-whipped man!

Another hour and the doctor that Vicky sent to my house has just left but not before putting the fear of God into me. He's taken a urine and blood sample and should know fairly soon if there are any traces of the date-rape drugs like GHB, Rohypnol or Zolpidem in my system. These drugs often lack taste and odor. Combined with alcohol they can be deadly, especially if there is an unknown allergy to the drug. He continued to explain that respiratory depression; coma and death are unpredictable possibilities when someone unknowingly takes one of them. Unfortunately because these tests weren't done immediately, they may have already been eliminated from my body.

After 1 a.m. I try calling Bella and again it goes straight to voice mail. She must have turned it off. Gee I wonder why.

"Bella honey, I know you're upset with me. Hell, I'm upset with me but please baby, we have to talk. Or if you don't want to talk, just listen. Call me ..."

Where the fuck is she?

Since there is no way that I'll be able to sleep, I get my keys and the pup and drive to Emmett's place. After ringing the doorbell repeatedly, a zombie-like Emmett lets me inside. I run past him inspecting each room including their bedroom. I close the door just as Rose throws a shoe at me. Damn! No sign of Bella.

By 2 a.m. I am pounding on Jasper's door. Both he and Alice answer and it quickly becomes obvious that Bella isn't there either. I start pacing while running my fingers through my hair. The pup is whining in my arms and miracle of miracles, Alice takes pity on me and reveals my wife's whereabouts. Before bolting, I hug her tightly.

After walking up and down their street for at least another half hour, pup finally let's loose and produces an impressive BM which I leave on the sidewalk because there is no fucking way that shit is coming in my car.

A quick pit stop to refuel and a large coffee later, I'm good to go. I know that going to Charlie's may not be a smartest thing to do as I'm not exactly his favorite person, not by a long shot. In fact, it's probably a safe bet to say that the man hates me but I am on a mission now. I won't be denied.

Pup curls up on the passenger seat and passes out. I crank up the A/C so the cool air hits my face and that keeps me alert. Only the occasional truck shares the open highway with me and I settle behind a double-wheeler doing 100 mph.

Outside of Seattle there aren't many decent radio stations and I'm fiddling with the tabs wanting to find a rock station to blast. Talk radio sucks … I scan forward but quickly turn back to hear about the dude who spent $50,000 in a strip club one night for lap dances. He must have popped too much Viagra! Sure enough a commercial for this wonder drug follows so I start scanning again. Jazz, classical, country music – hell no! Visions of my head exploding like the Martians in my all-time favorite movie; 'Mars Attack' springs to my mind. I finally settle on a Top-40 station and pump up the volume.

**Fifteen months and five days earlier …**

I'm trying to run a comb through my messy hair but I'm having difficulty getting it through a cluster of knots on the back of my head, a direct result of Bella's fingers frequent twisting and pulling. I spit into the palm of my hand and work it through. A large clump of hair is caught in the comb's teeth.

"Can I have that?" Bella asks as she watches me groom myself. She reaches over and snatches the comb away from me.

I pull up the windshield visor and look at her with increasing incredulity. "What do you want with that?"

Pulling my hairs free from the comb she places them inside her flannel shirt pocket. "I'm going to sell authentic 'Edward Cullen' hair on E-Bay. I wonder how much I could get per strand."

Her serious façade is waning as she watches my mouth drop open. "Maybe some mad scientist could figure out a way to extract your DNA and use it to impregnate your truly crazy-ass fans …"

I can't help but laugh knowing that she is fucking with me but I decide to play along. "Would you fall into that category?"

She shakes her head and giggles. "I know better. I've seen the real you." She leans over from the passenger seat and innocently kisses me.

"Yes you most definitely have and yet still you're here." Without a doubt I know that Bella is the girl for me. She's taken by surprise when I wrap my hand behind her neck and kiss her hard and long. Breathless, we finally come up for air.

"All you have to do is ask baby and I'll be more than happy to provide you with my DNA." Her eyes widen as do mine when I realize that I'm not joking anymore. I've never given much thought to having children but I really want them with Bella.

She blushes profusely, her eyes questioning mine and I kiss her once more. "Yes Bella, I want it all with you … whenever you're ready baby. I know that I am." This is the first time I've alluded to us having a future together.

Recovering quickly and lightening the serious turn our conversation has taken she jokes, "You might want to change your mind about that after meeting my dad, Charlie." She catches me flinch. "Just remember to firmly shake his hand and make eye-contact. I know that he's going to love you, just as I do."

"I certainly hope not." I tease and squeeze her tit. My mouth zeros in under the crook of her neck as I nuzzle and gently suck.

Bella moans. "Stop that …" But her hand travels down my chest and I know she's as turned on as I am. "Let's go inside and get this over with." She pushes me away from her and smiles sweetly. "Later Romeo."

I nervously follow Bella into the modest Swan residence. I'm apprehensive, as I've never had to meet the parents of any of the girl's that I've gone out with before. Of course I've never cared or been with anyone long enough to get to this point in a relationship. I really want Mr. Swan to like me.

"Lizzy! Dad! Seth! We're here." Bella's voice echoes through the house. Bella squeezes my hand and I give her a quick peck on the lips.

Bella's brother runs down the stairs and gets to us first. "Are you really Bull Rant's Edward Cullen?" He is all smiles. "I told Randy and Scott you were coming to my house but they didn't believe me. This is so cool! Oh by the way, I'm Seth."

Seth raises his hand in the air and I high five him. At least one member of her family seems to like me. "Nice to meet you Seth."

Lizzy is next and she shakes my hand and hugs Bella. "I'm Lizzy. I'm glad to finally meet you Edward. I'm a huge fan of your father, Carlisle. Is it true he's leaving the TV show?"

"Um … his contract is up. I don't really know." Her enthusiasm is infectious. "He'll be glad to know he still has a fan or two left."

"Where are my manners? I've just made a fresh pitcher of iced tea and some mouthwatering chocolate chip cookies. Would you care for some? Let's go into the kitchen and you can tell me more about your father." Lizzy gushes.

"Can I have a picture with you Edward?" Seth asks shoving his cell phone in Bella's hand and quickly stands next to me.

"You are being such a pain Seth." Shaking her head, she hands him his phone back.

"It's okay Bella. Really." I put my hand on Seth's shoulder and Bella snaps the shot quickly.

Seth excitedly yells as he runs back up the stairs, "I'm putting this on Face Book."

Bella calls up after him. "Oh no you're not! At least not until we've left. Okay?"

"Fine." He grudgingly agrees. "Can I ask Randy and Scott to come over now mom?"

"No." Lizzy hollers. "He's not normally this rude but I think he's a little star struck."

"It's okay. Seth is just a kid." I take hold of Bella's hand and she leads me to the kitchen where Mr. Swan sits cleaning his police revolver at the table. He doesn't look up.

"Hello sir, I'm Edward Cullen." My hand hangs in the air as I wait for him to shake it.

He raises his eyes slightly and gives a menacing scowl. "You hurt my daughter and I will fucking kill you. Do we understand each other?"

Stunned, I simply nod my head.

"Well then now that we have an understanding, it's nice to meet you Edward." He then shakes my hand – really hard.

Ouch!

Pup stirs but passes out again after I close the car door. I briskly walk to the front door of the Swan residence. It's only 6:15 a.m. and I hesitate. Bella's truck isn't in the driveway. Maybe Alice was wrong. But I haven't come all this way not to find out. Taking a deep breath I knock and wait. I can hear footsteps approaching and I swallow; my heart is beating so fast.

The door swings open and it's my father-in-law. He's already dressed and his rifle is hanging at his side. Is this how he greets anyone who shows up at his door? When he sees me his eyes blaze. For a second I think he's going to actually shoot me.

"You have a hell of a lot of nerve showing your ugly mug here." He touches his rifle and his message is received. "What the fuck do you want motherfucker?"

"I've come to speak with Bella, sir." Maybe, just maybe if I keep my tone respectful he won't shoot me. "Please …"

"Please what?" Charlie lets out a mocking laugh. "You must be a goddamn moron if you think I'll let you anywhere near my daughter, especially after the little porn show you put on. 'Once a cheater always a cheater'. Now get the hell off of my property."

"It's not what you think." I stammer. "I love your daughter."

"You have a funny way of showing it." He tries to shut the door in my face but I shove my foot inside.

"Please … I'm begging you. Where is she?" Surely he must have a heart.

"Go back to your whores Mr. hot-shot, rock star." He pushes my foot and slams the door shut but not before I hear him snickering. "Bella's with a real man now."

_Bella's with a real man now … Bella is with a real man now. _Charlie's words echo and taunt me.

Rose's voice joins in the chorus. _She's finished with you Edward – washed her hands and is moving on … _

Pup sits up in his seat and whines as I climb inside the Volvo. I'm certain he's hungry and needs to relieve himself but there is one place I have to check out before I head back to Seattle. I pat pup's head before pulling out of the driveway.

"Just give me a few minutes boy." I turn left and drive the seven miles to Jacob Black's house.

The pain that grips my heart crushes me when I find Bella's truck parked in the driveway. In that moment I know for certain that it's really and truly over between us.

* * *

**A/N: Three steps forward and two steps back. At least Bella and Edward are finally starting to acknowledge that they still have strong feelings for each other. Will they finally have that heartfelt talk? Hmm … we shall see.**

**Seth was singing along to 'Drive By' by Train.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns everything Twilight.**

**A/N: Shouting my heartfelt thanks to my amazing Beta T, Lovin Rob for everything! **

**Our last chapter gave some insight into our favorite couple's past ... Let's continue, shall we?**

* * *

Chapter Eight

"My husband and I have never considered divorce... murder sometimes, but never divorce." Dr. Joyce Brothers

Bella

Dear Jane, My wife and I have been married for seven years and have two great kids. 'Linda' has always been a loving spouse and devoted mother but since she's recently opened a Face Book account and has reconnected with friends from her past, she's withdrawn from me. She'll stay on the computer until the wee hours of the morning. When I ask her whom she's chatting with, she becomes evasive. But when I caught sight of her laptop she had left open, I saw that one of her chat friends was 'Tony' – her former fiancé. Tony lives an hour away from us and is recently divorced. Should I confront her and demand that she end all contact with him? Signed, Fit to be tied

I've been struggling with my advice column all morning long. It seems that everyone in Seattle has some sort of issue with his or her significant other, siblings or parents. Why can't we all just get along? Strangely though, knowing that other people are also dealing with problems and some far worse than my own is reassuring. I'm not the only person whose life currently sucks. I feel a growing camaraderie with my fellow fucked-up citizens.

Dear Tied, Don't allow yourself to be bound and gagged any longer. Speak now or forever hold your peace. While your wife may not have crossed the line to actually having an all out affair, she is skirting dangerously close to the edge. An 'emotional' affair can be just as devastating to a marriage as a 'physical' one. I strongly suggest you two seek counseling. _I'll even give you the name and number of mine ... that or my divorce attorney._

It has been a strange but busy week for me since I returned home with Jake last weekend. On Tuesday morning, Banner's assistant, Leigh e-mailed me my first assignment. I was to report on the opening of a new Starbucks coffee shop. That in and of itself is not newsworthy as there is practically one on every street corner in Seattle but this one was opening inside a funeral home. There is something unnerving about watching a mourner go from the coffee line with their soy lattes and frappucinos over to the viewing line sipping and slurping all over the corpse.

What is this crazy world coming to? What's next? Condom dispenser machines in church bathrooms? A merger between Dunkin Donuts and Weight Watchers?

And on Thursday I spent the entire day with one of Seattle's top wedding planners as she met with a variety of crazed and out-of-control brides and their frightened grooms. I observed as she coordinated venues with florists, bakers, DJ's and other vital components necessary to create the 'perfect' wedding. All the while I could hear the 'ka-ching' of the cash register soaring in the background. I learned that planning a grandiose wedding shares many similar characteristics to coordinating an all-out military strike against a small country. At the very least it was an eye-opener for me and confirmed that while my marriage may have been a mistake, eloping hadn't been.

So far Banner is extremely pleased with the articles I've written. So much so that I'm hoping he'll let me continue in some manner after my short term of duty is over.

Its 11:30 in the morning and Jake has finally arisen. He yawns and stretches as he leisurely strolls into the kitchen and grabs a large coffee mug filing it with cold coffee from the pot I shut off hours earlier. After adding an obscene amount of creamer, he nukes it in the microwave.

It's funny what pops into your head. For a split second I envision that it's Edward who is at the coffee pot – only he'd be completely nude. He cherished his morning coffee almost as much as our early lovemaking sessions. After setting the pot to brew, he'd do one of his silly 'I'm so sexy' dances and if I happened to be in the kitchen it was a safe bet that we would be back in the bedroom before the coffee was finished.

The microwave pings and Jake removes his now hot coffee. While we used to run through the outdoor sprinkler naked on hot summer days when we were three or four, seeing him so scantily clad now is a real eye-opener. He's bare-chested wearing nothing but a bath towel tethered around his toned waist. It's with great difficulty that I avert my eyes from his tanned and chiseled six-pack abs and rock hard pec muscles.

Hey, it's been far too long since I've climbed atop Mt. Edward! I shift uncomfortably in my chair. Barney will definitely need to show me some love later. But it's Jake and once he opens his mouth, I'm completely cured.

"Like what you see?" He asks suggestively, raising an eyebrow. Striking a pose he flexes his muscles and flashes me a broad smile that showcases his pearly whites.

I roll my eyes at him. How did he know I was gawking at him? Damn! He must have seen my reflection in the microwave. I throw my water bottle at him but it misses and hits the countertop nearly hitting the coffee pot.

"Oh man Bella … you really need to get laid." He laughs and shakes his head.

He's right. It's been far too long.

"I think you have that area covered enough for the both of us." Sadly, this is true. "You've been out every night this week and didn't even return the other night. Tell me, have you finally met someone special or are you just playing the field?"

My nickname for him used to be 'one date Jake' as he never took a girl out a second time. I really want my friend to find that special person, fall in love and experience a normal relationship.

'Normal relationship' ... what is that anyway?

"Quite possibly but it's too soon to tell if it'll lead to something more." Strategically he steers the subject away from him and his current squeeze. "Did Edward ever return the call that you returned that he had initially made twice?"

If I didn't know the sequence of who called whom, I might not have followed his question. I sadly shake my head. "No." After the desperate and pleading voice messages he left me you would think he'd answer my call. "I guess he didn't want to talk with me after all."

"If I could lock you both in a room with no food or water until you resolved your differences, I would do it in a heartbeat." He laughs and I frown at his asinine idea. "At the very least, I'd bet you'd get laid."

"Ha ha … you'd lose that bet." I'd make sure of it. Jake gives me that knowing look that essentially tells me I'm full of shit but mercifully drops it.

"Mind if I catch a ride with you this afternoon when you go to your sparring session? I'm meeting someone downtown." Jake casually opens the fridge and takes out the fixings for the three-mega giant sandwiches that he eats daily for lunch.

"Sure but only if you go and get dressed right now." It's hard having a conversation with him without any clothes on. "Could you make me one of those too?" Suddenly, I'm ravenously hungry.

Jake smirks and chuckles as he leaves the kitchen. His bath towel conveniently drops to the ground and my mouth nearly hits the floor when I catch sight of his tight buns walking away.

I have to do something about this allergy real soon.

Later on I drop Jake off in front of the Fremont Library on 35th Street before heading over to Dr. Stanley's office. Before he left I couldn't help but notice that he seemed a little nervous and on edge when I suggested meeting whomever he's been spending so much time with. I still have another half hour until my appointment. Giving me one lame excuse after another, he couldn't jump out of the car fast enough when I pulled over to the curb.

What's with all the secrecy? Hmm …

A quick trip this past week to a second-hand clothing store has provided me with my current fashion statement; a bulky dark gray hoodie with black sweat pants and some comfy Chuck Taylor's. As an added bonus I'm wearing absolutely no make-up and my hair is loosely strewn back into a ponytail. I smile knowing that Alice would have a conniption. I've decided that I like who I am and I am not going to pretend to be someone I'm not just to try and hold onto my husband. If Edward prefers bleached blonde bimbos who dress like prostitutes then so be it.

I don't care. _Yeah right!_

I'm carrying the black notebook that I've religiously written in everyday inside my backpack up the elevator. I'm at least fifteen minutes early. Edward hasn't arrived yet. I take a seat in the waiting room and wonder what method of torture Dr. Stanley – Jessica, has in store for us today. We only have another four or so sessions to go and then she will make her professional opinion to the Court as to whether or not our marriage is beyond repair.

I glance over at her staff wondering how much money they stand to make at our expense. The pretty young receptionist catches my gaze and smiles warmly up at me. I bet she's going to make enough to get another manicure or maybe even an expensive pair of designer pumps.

The elevator doors ping open and my deliciously handsome husband steps out. Momentarily stunned, I redden and stare. Edward looks especially attractive this afternoon wearing his slightly faded black button fly jeans and an open collared light blue shirt with the first three buttons left undone. A few strands of his soft, curled chest hair peak out from underneath his white t-shirt. I find myself struggling to remain seated and not go flinging myself at him to run my fingers down his chest. His silky bronze overgrown hair is tousled and hanging down his forehead. He is so fucking beautiful.

I should have spent some time with Barney this afternoon.

For a brief second our eyes meet. He regards me impassively and breaks contact first. As he signs in at the front desk, the pretty young receptionist nearly has a coronary on the spot.

Yes sweetie, he's as yummy in the sack as he is out. But he's also a lying, cheating, two-timing man-whore, I remind myself.

Edward grabs the first magazine his fingers touch from the neatly spread selection on the side table and sits as far away from me as he can get. He opens it and pretends to read. I know this because the magazine is upside down and also because its sports related.

I dramatically open the newspaper and attempt to read the article on the latest shenanigans in our nation's capital but every few minutes I peer over the top to catch a peak of him. I can't exactly pinpoint what it is but there is something about his demeanor that is different and gives me an uneasy feeling. Not once since entering has Edward looked my way or even acknowledged my presence.

'He doesn't love or care for you anymore' the little voice inside my head tells me. 'He's only here because he has to be.' Shut the hell up!

Jessica's voice startles me. "Bella and Edward, you can come inside now." As I enter her sanctuary I catch her questioning expression.

"Still on your quest for self-discovery Bella?" Jessica quips and it's fairly obvious that she doesn't approve of the way I'm dressed.

"No." I simply respond. "This is the real me."

Edward remains quiet, no jokes or snide comments. Nothing. Something has changed.

"How are you today Edward?" Jessica asks with genuine concern in her voice.

"Fine – never better." He snaps. "Listen, can we just get this over with. I have places to be and more important things to do with my time."

"I'll bet." I say before I can stop myself. Still he remains quiet. It's as if he didn't hear me but I know that he has. He's ignoring me.

"My time is valuable too Edward and so is Bella's." Jessica annoyingly taps her fingers on her desk. Surely she must detect the change in his attitude. She is regarding him carefully, assessing her next move.

"Turn your chairs. I want you to face each other – not me." She suddenly orders and we both gape at her in surprise. "I think I'm going to have to make some radical changes in our time together because clearly the traditional methods of couple's counseling are not working with you two."

"Gee what a surprise!" Edward huffs. Neither of us moves a muscle.

"Turn your chairs now!" Jessica barks more fiercely.

I am the first to rise and reposition my chair. Edward reluctantly follows suit. Now we're facing each other but with a good three feet between us.

"Bring your chairs closer together." Jessica stands from behind her desk and walks over towards us.

We both shuffle forward a few inches. Jessica sighs.

"Edward, please step aside." He jumps up.

Jessica then moves his chair within inches of mine. "Sit." She says gesturing with her hand to the seat.

He frowns but complies. As his knees touch mine he spreads them apart trying to break contact but they still rest on the outskirts of my legs. I swallow and gasp at his close proximity and so does he.

"Now I'd like for you both to lean forward." Together we apprehensively stare at her but do as she asks. Jessica is rather frightening when she's this determined. "I want you to hold hands."

This time Edward balks and protests. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Well I do." Jessica says. "Please, I'm asking you to trust me."

As his fingers slowly make contact with mine, I'm caught off-guard by the surge of raw emotions that I've carefully bottled up whenever I've been in his presence. I feel the familiar pull and palpable charge flowing between us and I wonder if he feels it too. I gaze down at our fingers gingerly touching and audibly gasp when I notice his wedding ring is gone. The indentations where it used to be are still there. I haven't been able to take this final symbolic step. My heart freefalls and I quickly close my eyes in a feeble effort to catch the tears that threaten to escape. It's then that I know that he's given up on us. It's truly over.

~StN~

Edward

I'm pretty sure I know what Jessica is trying to do and why. While I've physically shown up today as I'm required to do, mentally I haven't and I'm determined to keep it that way. I have checked out and shut down completely and she knows it. Damn bitch isn't going to allow that! But I can't deal with any of this bullshit anymore. It's just too fucking painful. Whatever shred of hope I may have pathetically held onto for Bella and I to reconcile was forever lost when I saw with my own two eyes her truck parked at his house overnight - proof that she spent the night with him … her supposed 'friend', Jacob Black.

How long has Bella been fucking him? Do I really want to know the answer to that question?

I had a long time to think on the drive back to Seattle after leaving Forks and have come to the sad conclusion that our marriage is indeed over. I don't see how it can be salvaged. Bella doesn't trust me anymore and I'm not so sure she doesn't have good reason either. I don't know if I actually had sex with the blonde in the hotel room or not. I really hope that I was too out of it to actually do anything but I have my doubts. The lab results of my blood and urine test came back indicating that there was trace evidence of Zolpidem in my system. Its prescription brand name is Ambien and it is most commonly used to treat insomnia. I can't fathom why someone would want to drug me. I'm still outraged that I put myself in such a vulnerable position. I can tell you this much though, it won't ever happen again.

James and Vicky were livid that their meal ticket had been in serious danger and wanted to pursue a full-fledged investigation to find and prosecute the blonde that I had been with. But as the club was dimly lit and her back was to them while she was wriggling on my lap, they couldn't accurately describe her plus I have no memory of her at all. Even if we found her how do we prove it was she that drugged me? I really don't want this incident to become public knowledge and be sensationalized all over the Internet. So whether or not it is the best course of action, we've agreed to keep this between the three of us.

I've listened and re-listened to Bella's messages wrestling with myself as to whether I should call her back. After all, it was I who had reached out to her but that was before I knew where she was and who she was with.

"Um … hi Edward, it's me Bella." A long pause follows. "It's good to hear your voice. Call me if you still want to talk."

The next day she left me another voice message.

"Hello Edward, I know you are busy and all but you really seemed to want to talk with me and … I'd really like to talk to you too. There is so much I need to say to you. Call me … please. Bye."

"Now I'd like you both to look at each other." Jessica orders. "Eye contact is important too."

I'm suddenly aware of the fact that I've been holding my breath as I now feel light-headed and my heart is pounding like a drum. Her soft, delicate hand in mine is causing my earlier resolve to crumble. When I see my girl's beautiful face and catch the few stray tears rolling down her cheek I'm shattered.

No … no … no! I can't bear to see her tears and know that I'm the cause of them. She's staring at my left hand and it's only then it registers in my thick head that she's crying because I'm not wearing my wedding band. Why would that upset her?

My hand reflexively reaches out and cups her cheek in my palm and I wipe away her stray tears with my thumb. What happens next surprises us both and probably sends Jessica over the edge, ready to blow her horn in triumph. I take hold of Bella's upper arms and pull her into my lap cradling her against my chest. She stiffens until I start running my hand soothingly up and down her back. Her face is buried in my shirt and I don't even care that she's getting snot all over it. It feels so fucking good to have her back in my arms again.

"I'll be right back." Jessica quietly says so as not to break the moment and excuses herself from the room.

It's just Bella and I and I don't want to let her go. I inhale the sweet familiar scent of her hair and close my eyes. Yes, this feels right and for a brief moment I can forget that we're in a marriage counselor's office, that we're in the midst of a divorce and that she's moved on with another man. In this moment, she's still the woman I adore and love.

"Hush baby, please don't cry." I murmur as I feel my own tears threaten to surface. "I lost my ring. I think the washing machine ate it."

'Oh." She sniffles and whispers. "You're actually washing clothes?"

"Why is that so hard to believe?" I pretend to sound wounded and wrap my arm around her shoulders. "I even sorted them."

"Wow I'm really impressed." As her body visibly relaxes, she makes no move to separate from me. In fact she is clinging even tighter. "Edward, can I ask you something?"

I brace myself, afraid of what her question might be and not wanting this moment to end. "Of course."

Bella raises her head and looks me square in the eye. "Why didn't you call me? Didn't you get my voice messages?"

I know that she deserves an explanation. "I should have, I'm sorry." I hesitate and feel her arms release me as she sits up. "I wanted to let you know how much I regret those pictures being splashed all over the Internet. I wasn't myself and I don't …"

Bella stops me from continuing. "You don't owe me any explanations … not anymore." She maneuvers herself out of my lap and back into her own chair distancing herself from me. My arms long to pull her back to me.

"I also hoped that we could find a way to get past all this animosity." I nervously run my fingers through my hair. "Even though our marriage is coming to an end, I'd like us to remain friends." Suddenly it sounds ludicrous to suggest such a thing but I can't imagine her not being in my life … at all.

"I think that's a great idea Edward." Jessica beams as she enters the room and takes her seat behind the glass desk. "How do you feel about building a friendship with Edward, Bella?"

I watch her body language. It appears Bella is struggling with this concept and it unsettles me. "I don't know if that's possible." She says as she shifts uncomfortably in her seat.

"I'd like for us to try … please Bella." My eyes beseech hers. "I've missed you."

"Really? It seems as though you've been just fine without me." Her biting comment stings but I refrain from taking the bait. I don't want to fight with her.

"Looks can be deceiving." I mumble under my breath and turn away but not before catching Bella staring at me intently, I realize that she has heard me. Her expression is one of surprise and confusion.

"I think that we've made some excellent progress today!" Jessica proclaims before addressing Bella again. "Edward has extended the olive branch, so to speak. Would you be willing to do the same?"

After a long moment and not taking her eyes off of me, Bella nods. "Yes."

"Well then that is wonderful! I'd like to meet with you both twice weekly from now on. I think that will be most beneficial." I frown, as more counseling is not what I had in mind.

Jessica continues. "In addition to writing in your notebooks daily …" She then hands us both a sheet of paper with even more questions on them. " … I would like there to be some sort of contact with each other daily. A phone call would be preferable but a text would suffice. Bella, you can reach out to Edward in the morning and Edward, you can touch base in the evening. Just keep it light and friendly. You can talk about your day, the weather or anything. It really doesn't matter what it is as long as the lines of communication start to open again. Anything of a serious nature we can discuss here."

"I'd like to say something to Bella." I volunteer. Both women zero in on me patiently waiting for me to speak. "Contrary to what you believe, there is no other woman in my life and I promise that I won't embarrass you again in public. I'm really trying to get my shit together."

Jessica smiles her approval. "Excellent Edward. How about we take out and open your notebooks. We can discuss a few of the questions on …"

Bella interrupts her. "What exactly does that mean Edward? Explain how you are 'trying to get your shit together'?"

I need her to know that I'm sincere. "I realize that it's time that I take responsibility for my actions. I can't keep putting myself in situations that could cause harm to myself or to those I profess to love." My eyes are boring intently into hers. "No more hearty partying and excessive drinking. No more feeling sorry for myself and making lame excuses when I mess up. I can do better than that. I'm capable of change."

"It sounds as if you've had some sort of epiphany since our last session." Jessica is about to go orgasmic with my latest declaration. "What brought this on if you don't mind my asking?"

"It's simple. I finally woke up and smelled the fucking coffee." I catch sight of a small smile spreading across Bella's face. It's a catch phrase that only she and I would understand.

"Hmm … all right then." Jessica wisely lets it go. "Tell me how you feel about …"

She continues to talk but all I hear is blah, blah, blah as I watch Bella. I struggle to pay attention for the duration of our session and manage to dutifully answer when called upon. I think Bella and I have turned a page in the on going stale-mate that we've been stuck at for so long and hope starts to grow within me once again.

Am I just going to lie down and let Jacob Black run off with my woman? I symbolically pick up my large caveman club and waive it over my head.

Hell no! Fuck him!

I watch my beautiful wife as she speaks earnestly to Jessica. I won her heart once before. I'm fairly certain that I can do it again. I'm going to fight for her … for us.

Our marriage is not over – not by a long shot.

* * *

**A/N: Yeah! Edward and Bella are finally behaving. Maybe there is hope for them after all. What other non-traditional methods does Jessica have up her sleeve in her effort to win that bet with her staff? Tune in next week to find out what happens next …**

**In my best Jessica impression, I am ordering you to jot down your thoughts and hit that review button below. **

**Go ahead … 'DO IT … NOW!" LOL**


	9. Chapter 9

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns everything Twilight.**

**A/N: Kudos to my Beta T, Lovin Rob who without, I couldn't possibly do this. Thank you! **

**Will Edward & Bella follow Jessica's 'orders'? Let's find out.**

* * *

Chapter Nine

"A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong." Milton Berle

Bella

The sound of the key jiggling in the front door wakes me from my sleep. I quickly jump out of bed hoping to catch sight of the car that has brought Jake back to the house. No such luck. Whoever it was has already sped down the street. So I climb back into bed and slide underneath the covers. The clock by the side of my bed reads 5:11 a.m. As it is Saturday, I don't have to be up so early so I lie there and listen as Jake fumbles his way through the small living room in the dark and bumps into the side table next to the couch. I hear him cursing as he catches the lamp before it crashes down to the floor.

"Fucking lamp…" He says a little too loudly and then laughs to himself as he continues into the kitchen.

Jake is anything but quiet when opening and then slamming the kitchen cabinets. I sigh when I hear him opening the refrigerator door and presume that he is getting a beverage and snack. Turning over onto my side, I place my pillow tightly over my head and fall back to sleep.

A few hours later, I am woken again when my cell phone starts to buzz indicating that I have an incoming text. I'm about to turn it off until I see who it's from.

Message from Edward: 'Hey – good morning. What R U doing?'

I remind myself that Jessica – Dr. Stanley has ordered us to resume daily communication. I'm supposed to make contact with him in the morning and he is to take the evening. Maybe he has forgotten the sequence of how this is to occur. Regardless I'm fully awake now and grinning like a loon.

I immediately hit reply and type, 'Sleeping. R U really up?'

Message from Edward: 'I have a new alarm clock that I can't seem to turn off.'

I wonder if I should confess to him that I already know what his new alarm clock is but quickly discount that idea. Earlier in the week Rose had filled me in on the 'monster' that Edward has taken in. Intrigued, I did a little reconnaissance mission of my own after watching Edward drive off. Alice had tipped me off earlier that he had band practice and since I still have the key to my former home I decided to go check it out.

**Last Wednesday afternoon …**

I have a jar of bacon flavored doggie treats tucked under my arm and my house key in my other hand. Dressed in my now favorite second-hand sweats with the hoodie pulled over my head, I feel like a criminal. I stealthily make my way across the street to the rear of the house. I plan on entering through the back door figuring that is the best way to get inside undetected. But that is easier said than done with our nosy neighborhood busybody, Mrs. Willard, keeping vigil next door. I smile remembering the X-rated show she must have witnessed when Edward and I christened the hammock one night under the stars. She wouldn't look at either of us for weeks afterwards. But now it's almost 4:00 and Judge Judy is about to start and nothing, and I mean nothing will keep that woman away from the TV when her show is on. I know this because she shouts at the top of her lungs when the verdict is given. Her dear, sweet husband shouldn't be any problem for me either as he always wears his hearing aide off during this time so as not to hear his wife's non-stop shrieking.

I slide the key into the door and unlock the deadbolt before slipping inside. I breathe a sigh of relief but before I have a chance to fully take in the condition of my surroundings, I hear it.

_Arf! Arf!_

I have to silence him before Mrs. Willard calls the cops and I get busted. Can someone be arrested for breaking into their own home? After all, I am still listed on the deed.

_Arf! Arf!_

Opening the jar of enticing doggie snacks, I remove a strip and follow the barks and foul smelling odor coming from the bathroom. I slide the treat underneath the door and it is immediately scoffed up. Taking another strip in my fingers I slowly turn the handle and crack open the door an inch. A soft pink tongue darts out and licks my fingers before attempting to bite the delectable food morsel.

"Hey boy." I speak to him in a calm and soothing manner, letting him take the strip. I swear he's inhaled it because it immediately disappears.

Opening the door a few more inches, the puppy's snout pushes through and licks my hand all over. Peering inside I see his tail wagging like a bat. I'm a little apprehensive, as I haven't been around many dogs before. 'Lady' was my cat when I was growing up and no one could pet her but me without her claws taking a swipe at him or her. God, I loved that cat. I hope that Edward's dog isn't as ferocious as Rose said he was.

"Are you a sweet puppy?" I coo.

He whines as his whole body wiggles in an attempt to get to me. I pet his nose and he pushes his whole head through the small opening. It's no use. I give up and open the door wide. He rolls his body over and over again on my feet.

Oh shit! What has Edward gotten himself into now?

It's only then that I can see the destruction that this small dynamo has created inside the bathroom. Toilet tissue is shredded and lies like snow all over the floor. The shower curtain is ripped from its rungs. He suddenly jumps up and runs over to the toilet bowl, lifting his front paws onto the sides of the seat before lowering his head to lap up the water inside. I glance around and see that there is a rather large pile of doggie doo on the scale beside the commode. Reflexively I gag and back out closing the door behind me. I can't help but smile knowing what Edward will be facing when he returns.

_Arf! Arf!_

I can't stop myself from taking a quick peek around the house and I'm surprised to find that it's neat and amazingly clean. However my definition of clean has always differed somewhat from Edward's but this looks really good. Alice told me that Jasper said the house was a pigsty and that Edward was practically living in squalor. He must have hired someone to clean it up. On my way out the back door I check the refrigerator and shake my head in disbelief when I find that it's practically empty except for a six-pack of Corona, a few limes and a jar of salsa.

What the hell is he living on?

I remind myself that he is no longer my concern and as he so aptly advised me on more than one occasion, I am not his mother either. But the very thought of Edward not taking care of himself upsets me more than I care to admit.

Locking the door behind me, I make it as far as the sidewalk before Marcus; our mailman pulls his truck along side the curb and gestures for me to come over.

"Hello Bella, I'm so glad to see that you're back at the house again." He gives me a smile and adds hopefully, "Should I start delivering your mail here now?"

Shit he saw me!

"Hi there Marcus." I answer and stand next to his open door. "No, I'm still staying across the street. I just had to pick something up from the house." His eyes glance at the glass jar of dog treats in my hand and he gives me a questioning look.

"Well I've gotta run now." I stammer and I start walking towards the road. "Hey thanks again for recommending me to housesit."

"Of course, no problem." The mail truck lurches forward and then stops. "Hey wait a second. While you're here let me give you your mail."

Giving him a quick wave goodbye, I clutch my mail and dog treats and bolt quickly across the street. Retreating into the relative safety of my temporary residence, I breathe a sigh of relief and get a Pepsi out of the fridge before sitting at the kitchen table and start sorting through my mail. The majority is junk mail and I move to toss it in the garbage but before I do so, a hand-written 5' x 7' padded manila envelope addressed to Edward slides out. There is no return address. My fingers trace its outline. Whatever is inside the envelope is rectangular and weighs only a few ounces. I know that I should run it right back over to his mailbox before he returns but I'm distracted when my cell phone starts ringing and place it on top of the fridge.

That was three days ago and up until now, I've totally forgotten about it. My phone buzzes alerting me to another text.

Message from Edward: 'R U still there? Any plans 4 2day?'

Quickly, I reply, 'Yes. Meeting Alice & Rose later. U?'

There is a long pause and I'm about to put my phone down and head over to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee when it pings again.

Message from Edward: 'Recording later. Y don't U come?'

I stare at his text in disbelief. Does he really expect me to hang out with him? I don't know if I'm ready to do that just yet or ever. What does he want?

My heart is pounding as my fingers type. 'IDK … gotta go … bye'

Message from Edward: 'K … later … bye bb.'

Baby?

He's really taking Dr. Stanley's 'lets open the lines of communication' decree a bit far. But knowing just how vulnerable I still am to him, it's probably for the best that I don't go to the Hive. It would be far too easy to fall back into familiar patterns and I have no intentions of becoming one of those pathetic exes who hook up and settle for a 'friends with benefits' relationship with their former spouses from time to time.

'Would that be so bad?' My inner voice suggests. 'You know that Barney isn't exactly cutting it.'

'YES!' I shout and backhand her, rendering her unconscious.

Throughout the day I find myself staring at the manila envelope propped on top of the kitchen table and wrestle with my inner voice when she regains consciousness. 'Open it or deliver it?' That is my quandary. On the one hand, I am still legally Edward's wife so I should be entitled to open it. But on the other hand, I'd be invading his personal space, which is wrong under our present circumstances. Neither argument to open the envelope feels quite right so it continues to sit on the table.

When Jake finally emerges in the afternoon getting his sorry and well-laid ass out of bed after being out most of last night, he offers his opinion.

"Don't do it Bella. Some things are better left unknown."

"You're right." I trust his advice.

Jake has never steered me wrong before. I exhale pleased that I have finally come to a decision. Later – once I know that Edward has left for the studio, I'll put it inside his mailbox.

The doorbell rings announcing Alice and Rose's arrival. We're going to have drinks and dinner downtown at Tumulty's Pub – a once favorite hangout of ours back in the day. I cringe knowing that it is karaoke night and my girls will probably try and get me up on stage to sing. Even though I've been told I have a great voice, I find it hard to let loose in front of strangers. But a night out with my bff's might just be what I need to unwind and take my mind off of my troubles.

Rose disdainfully eyes Jake as she makes her way into my small living room. Jake is sprawled out on the couch with a large bowl of popcorn propped on top of his shirtless and rock hard abdomen. HBO is playing 'The Grey' and its at the part where one of the wolves has just ripped apart and eaten one of the men standing guard during the night.

"That is so disgusting! How can you watch this carnage and still feed your face?" Rose asks and smacks his arm.

This causes the bowl to fall to the ground and popcorn to spill all over the place. To say that two of my best friends don't exactly like each other would be putting it mildly. Jake and Rose always seem to be at each other's throats for one thing or another. Thankfully they don't see each other very often.

"Nice to see you too Blondie." Jake snarls as he struggles to sit up. "Tell me. How does a blonde eat a banana?"

Rose flips him the bird.

Opening his mouth wide, Jake then holds an imaginary banana in his hand and brings it up to his mouth. He then wraps his arm around the top of his head and pushes it up and down simulating a blowjob.

"Well that should be right up your alley." Rose pretends to feign a shocked expression by covering her mouth with her hand. "Oh wait … only that would be your butt crack, right asshole?"

"Oh my God, that's enough you two!" Alice intercedes while heading over to the small closet in the hallway. She returns moments later with the vacuum and springs into action like a dutiful Stepford wife.

Rose storms off into the kitchen presumably to get a soda from my fridge and returns holding and waiving the manila envelope in her hand.

"Pray tell, what do we have here?" Raising her eyebrows, I recognize her steely look of determination while her devious mind slips into gear.

"Give that to me Rose." My hand reaches over to take it away from her but she quickly retreats. "The mailman gave it to me by mistake. It belongs to Edward and I have to return it to him."

"Of course you do." She answers as her index finger 'accidentally' slides underneath the opening. "Oops."

Strategically Rose drops it onto the couch cushions whereby an iPhone slides out … along with a note. I recognize the cell phone as being Edward's. All four of us stare at it as if it was a bomb and we're waiting for it to explode. Rose scoops up both items before I can move.

"Put it back Rose." My voice sounds firm but truthfully I'm dying to read that note. I lunge at her but she is faster. As she darts out of my reach, she reads the note out loud in an exaggerated fashion.

"Hi Edward, You left your phone behind when you had to leave suddenly and I know you must need it. I'd return it to you in person but I'll be out of town the next couple of days. Hope to catch you when I get back … T"

Faster than I would have thought possible, Alice snatches both the note from Rose and the phone off the couch and places them back inside the envelope.

"Where do you keep your tape Bella?" She asks me. "Please don't jump to any conclusions here. I'm sure there is a perfectly reasonable explanation. After all … 'T' may be a guy."

I nod. "In the top kitchen drawer next to the sink." I then turn to face Rose. "I wish you hadn't done that."

Rose appears to be remorseful. "I'm sorry Bella." And I know that she means it. Apologies from my friend are pretty rare. "I don't know what I was thinking."

I am determined not to let the contents of the envelope ruin my evening so I let her off the hook. "It's okay Rose. Let's go now."

"Hey." Jake says as he rises. "Mind if I tag along? I'm catching a ride back home tomorrow and it will save my friend from having to drive all the way out here."

"The more the merrier." Alice proclaims. The manila envelope is once again sealed and in her hand. "We can all fit inside my car and I'll be the designated driver." As she volunteers to drive, I catch a glimpse of her smiling face. She's up to something, I just know it.

"That is just fucking wonderful." Rose rolls her eyes. I know she can't be happy about Jake coming with us.

Crammed into Alice's Toyota Prius, we're all abnormally quiet as she drives. I'm trying hard but failing miserably to stop myself from over-analyzing the mysterious note. When did Edward lose his cell phone and more importantly, who is 'T'? Alice makes a left turn onto Emerson Street and it's only then that I notice we're not heading in the direction of the pub.

I've been duped!

"Alice?" I question, my voice unable to mask the rising panic I am now feeling.

Her eyes catch mine in the rearview mirror. "I thought we'd make a quick stop first. Hope you don't mind."

I really think that I'm going to have to strangle her.

~StN~

Edward

I am definitely not mechanically inclined and it's only now that I realize just how much I am out of my element. The front panel of the washing machine rests up against the wall. I've pulled out the machine and disassembled the pump from the connecting waste pipe and trap in my search to find my wedding ring. There are small gaskets, clamps and hoses strewn all over the floor and I am starting to doubt whether I can put it all back together again.

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

As my fingers continue to sift through the small drain, I finally feel the smooth roundness of my ring but I'm unable to pry it loose. It is firmly wedged into a small groove four inches down into the flooring. Pup is sitting beside me watching me intently. Alternating one at a time, he raises his ears up and down as a steady stream of colorful expletives fly out of my mouth.

"Son of a fucking bitch … shit … goddammit!"

Maybe I can free it with a screwdriver? Reaching over for it I then hit my forehead hard on the main metal pipe.

"Holy fuck!" That hurts!

Unfortunately the only thing I manage to do is push it deeper into the groove. It still won't budge. Waving the proverbial white flag, I surrender. It's time to call the professionals. After first letting pup outside to do his business, I search the Internet for a plumber. Who knew that plumbing was such a lucrative field? After trying at least five different companies, I finally find one willing to come out on the weekend only it's going to cost me. And if I want him here within the hour, the rate nearly quadruples. But cost doesn't matter to me at this point. All I want is that ring back on my finger … today.

I've decided that today is the day that I am going to start wooing my wife back. Earlier when I texted Bella, I was fully aware that she is supposed to make morning contact with me. But in some ways I'm a little old-fashioned and it just doesn't sit well with me having her do that. I am the man and I am supposed to pursue her, not the other way around. I wasn't planning on asking her to come down to the Hive to watch our recording session either. It was a spur of the moment decision. Afterwards I called Alice hoping to enlist her help in getting Bella down there. After all she had come through for me before. While sympathetic to my cause, she wouldn't promise me anything but said she would see what she could do. That was all I needed to hear to get myself psyched.

Feeling inspired and hopeful, I spend the rest of the morning with my guitar writing a song just for Bella. In the past she has often been my muse while composing and writing my music. It's far easier for me to express my feelings through music than through talk. And in my new song, I've really poured my heart out.

Bella always loved it when I played for her. I smile remembering when …

**Eighteen months earlier …**

Bella and I have spent the entire evening curled up on the couch at Jasper's and my apartment enjoying nothing but conversation. This is a first for me. I've never done this before with a woman. Normally I only engage them in obligatory 'small talk' before getting down to business. But for some reason I haven't been able to work up the nerve to even kiss Bella yet. Hold her hand –yes, kiss her- no. I find her slightly intimidating. When we met last weekend I discovered, after first inserting my foot in my mouth, that she is very different from most of the girls that I've known. I still can't believe that she's agreed to see me. I have no doubt that Isabella Swan is a very special person and I desperately want to know her better.

And Bella is smart … really smart. For the last four hours we've discussed everything from world economics to which brand of cola tastes better, Coke or Pepsi? Personally, I prefer Coke while Bella likes Pepsi. She insists that I can't possibly tell the difference between the two brands if I were to take a taste test. Of course I take that challenge just to prove her wrong. After a quick trip to a nearby convenience store to buy the two soft drinks, I emerge victorious.

Bella is now eyeing my guitar that is propped in the corner of the small living room. "Would you play something for me?" She timidly asks.

"Any particular requests?" I ask her as I open the guitar case and remove my Les Paul. I take a seat on the armrest of the couch next to her.

"Surprise me." Her eyes are sparkling with excitement.

I know exactly what I am going to play for her. I start by tuning the guitar strings. Then I warm my fingers by softly strumming the chords of the song that she's helped inspire me to write.

If you're sitting comfortably then let me begin

I want to tell you a tale about a mess that I'm in

And it all starts with a girl

And she's breaking up my world

She's got these big green eyes and they're as wide as the moon

Yeah they can take you to bed without you leaving the room

I would kill just to be her man

But she's too cool to give a damn

I'm falling in love for the last time

I'm falling in love forever and ever

I'm falling in love with a girl that ain't mine

I'm falling in love for the last time

She makes me feel like a king, she makes me feel like a freak

And she preys on me because she knows that I'm weak

And she knows just what to say

Just to brighten up my day

So now I'm feeling sick and she's still having fun

I guess she thinks that I'm thick or maybe a little dumb

But it makes no odds to me

I'm a fool for misery

I'm falling in love for the last time

I'm falling in love forever and ever

I'm falling in love with a girl that ain't mine

I'm falling in love for the last time

I'm falling in love with a girl...

As I am singing, neither of us is able to take our eyes off of the other. A strong connection has been building and is now pulsing between us. When my fingers finish playing the final chord, our eyes continue to linger on each other and I watch as a smile lights up her beautiful face. Should I confess that I wrote it for her? No, it's too soon and I'll probably frighten her away. Setting the guitar gently back in its case, I lower myself onto the couch cushion and turn to face her.

"That was incredible." Her sweet voice whispers to me. "You are very talented. Did you write that?"

I nod and take her small hand in mine running my thumb slowly over each one of her delicate fingers. The texture of her smooth skin is so soft. Summoning up my courage, I tuck away a few stray strands of her long, silky brown hair behind her ear. When she doesn't flinch, I boldly cup her cheek and watch as she blushes a lovely shade of pink. Bella is so very beautiful and I'm very attracted to her. I hope she doesn't notice just how attracted I am to her at the moment. I shift my position so that my body is touching hers and casually stretch my arms before slipping one around her shoulder.

So this is what it feels like to fall for someone? It's far more powerful than I'd ever imagined it would be.

"Can I kiss you Bella?" My voice sounds strange to me. I swallow waiting for her reply. Although I am desperate to kiss her, I don't want to do anything without her approval.

She leans in closer to me and simply nods. Turning and lowering my face to hers, we're now only inches apart. My heart is beating wildly in my chest as adrenaline courses through my body. Bella closes her eyes and patiently waits for my lips to touch hers. I pause knowing that this is a moment I'll always cherish. As if in slow motion, I gradually lessen the gap between us until my mouth finally … finally touches hers. Ever so tenderly, I kiss her. I feel the electricity flowing between us as the moment lingers on and on and on.

Bella slowly breaks away first but I know by the look reflected in her eyes, that she is feeling it too. I don't want to rush this … whatever 'this' actually is. I want to do things right with her and maybe have a real relationship for once in my life.

"That was really nice." She says as she catches her breath.

Her hand reaches behind my neck and her fingers twirl around my hair before she pulls my face back to hers. This time when Bella's lips claim mine she opens her mouth just enough for me to slip my tongue inside. When her tongue strokes mine, our kisses intensify and desire surges through my veins. We continue to make out for what feels like hours but in reality is only minutes. Somehow along the way, she's ended up sitting on my lap and is pressing her body against mine. My cock is harder than steel at this point and I know that she can feel it. It's with great difficulty that I stop kissing her.

"Bella … I should take you home now." My mouth murmurs against hers but my arms continue to hold her tightly in place. This could so easily get out of hand.

I feel really proud of myself when I exercise some self-control, which I never knew I possessed, and lift her back to her feet. Holding her hand firmly in mine, I lead her to the door and shut off the lights before locking the door behind us.

Yes, nice and slow … I think I can do this.

The doorbell rings bringing me out of my memory. I smile and look down at my hand. My gold wedding band that the outrageously expensive plumber spent all of five minutes removing from the drain has deep scratches and nicks all around its edges. It looks pretty banged up but at least it's once again on the fourth finger of my left hand. The engraved inscription underneath is still legible … _Forever yours, Bella._

The doorbell rings again but before answering it, I put pup inside his new crate in the washroom. After the ungodly mess I came home to a few days ago, I ran straight out and purchased one. He can't get into too much trouble in there. At least I hope not.

"Hello Mr. Cullen." A very tall, broad and muscular man stands on my front doorstep and formally greets me. "I'm Dave Coulter from HBG Services. Are you ready to leave now sir?"

"Yes I am." I grab my leather jacket, black beanie, sunglasses and keys and follow the immaculately suited Dave out to his black Ford Escape. I chuckle to myself, as it seems like I've suddenly entered a scene from a 'Men in Black' movie. I'm taken aback when he opens the front passenger door for me. This might take a little getting used to. I climb up into the seat and Dave closes the door behind me.

After getting behind the wheel Dave says, "I have programmed the list of the places you most commonly frequent into my GPS. Where to sir?"

"To the Hive Dave." I respond.

After last week's fiasco at the club and learning that I had been drugged, I've decided to hire a full-time bodyguard to accompany me wherever I go. No one is going to have unfettered access to me without Dave's approval.

"And please call me Edward." If I am going to be spending any significant amount time with him, I'd prefer to be on a first-name basis.

"Yes sir, Edward." He stiffly replies.

Dave is a man of few words and we drive downtown in relative silence. This is fine with me as my mind is preoccupied with thoughts of this evening's recording session. If all goes well, we'll have the third and possibly fourth tracks of our album laid down. More importantly, I wonder if Alice has found a way to bring Bella there. I plan on playing the song that I've written for her if she comes.

As dusk approaches, the city is slowly coming to life with the weekend crowds. But the roads have been smooth sailing with hardly any red lights and in barely no time at all, Dave is turning into the rear parking lot behind the building. Once again it feels rather strange having a man open doors for me but I guess its part of his job.

When the elevator doors ping open, I'm roughly thrusted forward by Riley who jokingly attempts to push me inside the studio. Dave immediately pulls out his concealed gun and tackles Riley to the ground.

"It's about time you showed up Edward." Riley nervously laughs while salaciously eyeing Dave up and down as he holds him at gunpoint. "Are you going to introduce me to Mr. hot secret service dude?"

"It's okay Dave. This is Riley, one of my crazy-ass band members." I'm laughing now too. "I'd release him if I were you unless you want to roll around on the floor with him."

If Dave was formal before, he is absolutely rigid now. "I'll have you know that I'm a happily married man, sir." He releases Riley.

"Yeah and …?" Riley winks at Dave and I slap his shoulder once he gets to his feet.

"Behave." I warn him. I'll have to have a little talk with my flirtatious buddy.

"Like you Mr. Internet star?" He counters.

I punch him hard and join the others waiting for me inside.

* * *

**A/N: What did you think of 'ninja' Bella? How about Rose, Jake and the manila envelope ... Good thing Edward is a musician and not a plumber and that first kiss … ahh. Next chapter should be interesting, don't you think?**

**Edward played for Bella 'Falling in Love for the Last Time' written by Lee MacDougall.**

**Please leave me a Review – any questions or comments that you may have. It's easy to do and I really love hearing from my readers. I try to respond to each one but if you have your account settings set to not accept private messages, I can't. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns everything Twilight.**

**A/N: Thanks for your amazing beta skills, Lovin Rob! I'll bet you need another vacation now! **

**Jumping to conclusions is never a good thing … it can lead to all sorts of misunderstandings …**

* * *

Chapter Ten

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing… she goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." Henry Youngman

Edward

Dave closely watches Riley as he and I follow him down the small corridor and into the studio. His eyes haven't left Riley's back for one second and it's rather obvious that he is purposefully keeping space between them. While I am relieved that my new bodyguard is on his game when it comes to my safety, I have to admit that I was rather blown away to learn that he is packing some heat. I wonder what his story is? Police, military or something else? I'll have to find out. And would his duties include taking a bullet for me if some deranged lunatic decides to come after me?

No way! That would never happen … right?

My subconscious screams at me. 'Of course it could happen, shit for brains!'

You hear of crazy things in the media happening all the time. Some delusional and obsessed psychopath stalks a celebrity believing that they share some kind of sick, twisted bond suddenly snaps and they can no longer differentiate between reality and fantasy and then wham! Bam! Gone!

So I guess it's better to be safe than sorry especially with all of the strange and unexplainable shit that has been happening to me lately … all the so-called 'evidence' that led Bella to believe that I've cheated … her having been approached while in public and the coupe de gras of them all … my being drugged. I wonder if Bella is in danger as well. I consider this for a minute but conclude that since we're no longer together there really is no reason for anyone to want to harm her. I'm certain that having a bodyguard watch and tail her every move would probably freak her out.

Maybe I should hire one to watch over her from a distance anyways, just in case? Hmm…

As we enter the small area just outside of the large recording room, I take notice of who is here. Jasper and Emmett are inside the recording room and having what appears to be an animated conversation and they are intermittently laughing. Skip and Michele, our recording technicians are sitting at the space-ship like control panel making adjustments but nod their greetings when they spot me. Vicky is snapping orders left and right to her assistant, Bree and the poor girl looks flustered. I feel sorry for her, as she is quite young – probably no more than nineteen or twenty and Vicky can be very intimidating. When Bree sees me she blushes profusely and quickly turns away. Vicky turns around and she appears to be overjoyed that I've actually shown up. The tension melts from her face and she gives me a genuine smile. She then taps the glass that separates the two rooms to get Emmett and Jasper's attention and gestures for them to come over.

"Who is your friend Edward?" Vicky asks while giving Dave the 'once over'. I haven't told anyone that I've hired a bodyguard.

"Wait I know …" Emmett lets out a hearty laugh. "Bond … James Bond."

Riley joins in. "Yeah, 007 just pulled a gun on me and tackled me to the ground." He reaches into his pocket as his cell phone starts to buzz.

Vicky's expression is alarmed. Her mouth tightens into a straight line. "Guns are dangerous."

"Relax." I say. "This is Dave Coulter, my bodyguard. And you know you enjoyed it Riley." I watch his spreading grin.

"How about you Dave?" Jasper smirks and throws Emmett a knowing glance. "Was it good for you too?"

Dave remains as still as a statue but begins to turn bright red around his ears. He's not laughing either and I quickly decide I'd better step in or I'm going to have to find another bodyguard.

"Okay guys, lay off of Dave." The words slip out of my mouth before I realize my blunder. There are chuckles from everyone in the room and while Dave hasn't exactly joined in, I'm relieved to spot the sides of his mouth raise slightly.

Riley extends his hand to shake Dave's. "Sorry man, I was just yanking your chain. I didn't mean to get you all hot and bothered. Everyone here knows what a horn dog I am." His cell phone buzzes yet again.

Vicky gives Riley a reprimanding glare and he quickly puts his phone away. She has repeatedly told us that she doesn't approve of mixing pleasure while conducting business.

"So what's the story Edward? Why do you suddenly feel the need for protection?" Jasper pulls up a chair and sits down.

"I thought it might help keep the paparazzi the fuck away from me." I really don't want to get into my reasoning in front of everyone so I skillfully skirt around the issue. Later in private I'll tell my buddies the truth.

Emmett nods. He knows how much the parasitic paparazzi freak me out and that I hate it when those scumbags follow us around trying to take our pictures and hoping to catch us off guard. They'll do whatever they can to get a reaction out of us and sometimes it's all I can do to restrain myself from lashing out at them. This is almost always followed by an outrageous story that is then posted on the Internet and printed in the tabloids at the supermarket checkouts. People should save their money as 99% of what is being 'reported' is made up shit. I shudder, remembering one bad experience in particular. Thankfully the sound of Vicky's voice saying my name brings me back to the here and now.

"I think that might be very good idea Edward." Vicky comments and then turns to Bree. "I want you to call Jeff and tell him to beef up security here, as well as whenever the boys make an appearance. If he has any questions, have him call me."

"Is that really necessary?" Riley whines. He can't be too happy about this knowing that the extra security around us will cramp his style.

"Listen up, I have some really good news." Vicky says clasping her hands together and ignoring Riley. She seems really excited. "Bull Rant's sales have shot up this past month. I think the Rolling Stones cover and increased radio play have contributed to this among other recent events."

"What other 'recent events'?" I ask as I have an uncomfortable feeling as to what she is alluding to.

"Any publicity is good publicity as longs as it keeps you in the public's eye." She explains. "It hasn't exactly hurt the bottom line though now that everyone knows that you are back on the market Edward." Vicky is looking squarely at me. "The ladies absolutely love you."

"I'm not exactly single, Vicky." My mouth drops open in disbelief. I can't believe she's said that.

"That's just a technicality though, right?" Her voice is unnecessarily harsh. She quickly adds in a much warmer tone, "I'm sorry to sound so insensitive but your divorce is only a few weeks away, isn't it Edward?"

I nod. "Yes but you never know…" I crack a small smile. If all goes as I hope it will, maybe I'll have my wife back and the divorce won't go through.

There is a pause before Vicky lets out a wide smile. "Yes, of course there is always hope Edward but realistically what are the odds at this point?"

"True love will prevail." I am surprised when Riley says this and gives me a sympathetic smile. Who would of thought he was such a romantic at heart?

She shakes her head and then steers the conversation back to her announcements. "So sales are up but I have another wonderful surprise that I know you are going to love! Bull Rant has been asked to fill in for High Anxiety next weekend at the Dome Center in Las Vegas. Now that their lead singer is in rehab they can't make the performance. Are you guys up for it?"

"Hell yes!" Emmett hoots and hollers. "Vegas baby … yeah!"

"That is great news Vicky." Jasper is enthusiastic as well. "I can't wait to tell Alice that we're going to Las Vegas. She is going to flip-out!"

"Rose will too." Emmett adds. "We haven't been there since Edward got hitched. Man that was wild!" He then sees me flinch and immediately sobers.

Vicky is shaking her head at both of them. "I don't think it's a very good idea that you bring Alice or Rose. After all we'll only be there for a day or two at most and we're all going to be cramped in a tour bus."

I vaguely hear my friends protesting. The thought of being in Las Vegas again with all of the memories that Bella and I created there saddens me. Our impulsive and crazy wedding was the best day of my life. We were both so happy and very much in love …

**Fifteen and a half months earlier … **

"Are you sure about this Edward?" Jasper is probing me intently as if I have lost my mind. "You and Bella have only been together a few months …"

I cut him off and look at my wristwatch. "Ninety-six days, twelve hours and twenty-two minutes to be precise."

We are waiting in the grand lobby of the Bellagio Hotel for the girls to come down from our impressive penthouse suites. In less than an hour Bella and I are going to be husband and wife.

"Why don't you continue to live together awhile longer and see how compatible you two are before taking this monumental step? This is rather impulsive, don't you think?" Jasper asks with concern etched on his face. "What's the rush Edward? Is she pregnant? Because you still wouldn't have to get married – not these days, you don't."

"No." I snap. I can't believe he just said that. "Bella is not pregnant." At least not yet. "It just feels right Jas. I know without a shred of doubt that she is the one for me and I want to put a ring on it and seal the deal so to speak. Maybe one day you'll understand if you and Alice decide to …"

Jasper chuckles and shakes his head. "No, no, no! I don't think so man. You know I believe that marriage is an archaic institution designed to oppress both sexes in our society. That little piece of paper doesn't mean shit. It won't keep a couple together … it only lines the lawyer's pockets with a shit load of money if the relationship tanks and since 50% of marriages end in divorce …"

"Gee thanks for the fucking pep talk. I feel so much better now Jas." I sarcastically say and then sigh. "Listen, I know marriage is a bit old fashioned and that Bella and I have gotten to this point pretty fast but I want the entire world to know that I belong to her and that she is mine. I believe that what we share is extraordinary and I know that we will be in the 50% who do make it."

"Where can I place a bet on that?" He laughs. "Hey, where is Emmett?"

"That's a good question." I run my fingers nervously through my hair. I'm not having cold feet or second thoughts. My only concern is that the ceremony goes off without a hitch and being that I've put Emmett in charge of making the arrangements and I haven't heard from him in hours, I'm starting to sweat a bit.

"He is supposed to be checking with the Hard Rock Chapel to confirm our time slot and arrangements." I exhale loudly. "Hey, do you have the rings?"

"Right in here." His fingers reach inside his shirt pocket and come out empty. His face falls. But seeing my panicked expression he laughs and quickly pulls the rings out of his other pocket. "Sorry man."

"Hey Jas …" I tilt my head in his direction.

"What?" He answers.

"Fuck you." Take that Mr. Best Man!

Another twenty minutes later and Jasper is relaxing on one of the couches in the lobby and he's visibly amused watching me pace back and forth. Maybe Bella has changed her mind? Maybe she's checked out of the hotel? Maybe I should go find her?

I let out a huge sigh of relief when I finally see Bella step out of the elevator with Rose and Alice trailing behind her. She is wearing a look of triumph on her beautiful face. This is probably because she has fought and won the 'battle of the wedding dress' with Alice who is dressed to the nine's and looks totally pissed at her. Neither of us wanted a fancy wedding. We agreed that we would wear our everyday, comfortable clothes. I'm wearing my well-worn button fly jeans and a simple white T-shirt and sneakers. Bella has gone one better and is dressed in a pair of gray sweat pants and one of my black T-shirts and flip-flops. I think she looks amazing and my cock agrees as he starts to stir.

It's only been an hour since I've last seen my Bella but it is 59 minutes too long. In a couple of long strides I take my gorgeous bride in my arms and bury my face in her long, dark hair. She smells divine. My lips claim hers and I give her a tender kiss before pulling back and taking her hand in mine. We're smiling at each other like a couple of raving lunatics. Maybe we are.

"Where's Emmett?" Rose asks looking all around the busy lobby. We all follow the direction her head has zeroed in on when she finally spots him running down the long corridor towards us.

"I was starting to worry. Are we good to go?" I ask him. My throat feels dry. I think I need a drink. He is nervously shuffling on his feet and gives me a look that tells me something is indeed wrong. "Spit it out Emmett."

"There is just one small, teensy-weensy, little problem …" He uncomfortably looks away from me.

What the hell now?

"Hey, are you all right man?" Riley says bringing me back to the present. He is watching me closely.

"Yeah, I'm fucking fantastic." I mumble sarcastically. "Come on – let's do this!"

In an effort to rally the troops and lighten my mood that is threatening to nosedive, I pull the chair out from underneath Jasper and walk away. Protesting loudly he falls to the ground before quickly rising to his feet and starts running towards me. Emmett playfully shoves Jasper's back causing him to stumble yet again. Riley is trailing behind Emmett typing yet another text. Vicky reaches out and snatches it away from him before he enters the recording room.

We take our time warming up and running through the song multiple times until we all agree that we're good to go. When the green light flashes on the wall indicating that we're being recorded, it's with bated breath that we start to play. I look over at Jasper and give him a nod. I'm particularly proud of this piece that we wrote together.

Whatsoever I've feared has come to life

Whatsoever I've fought off became my life

Just when everyday seemed to greet me with a smile

Sunspots have faded

And now I'm doing time

And now I'm doing time

Cause I fell on black days

I fell on black days

Whomsoever I've cured I've sickened now

Whomsoever I've cradled I've put you down

I'm a search light soul they say

But I can't see it in the night

I'm only faking when I get it right

When I get it right

Well I fell on black days

I fell on black days

How would I know

That this could be my fate

How would I know

That this could be my fate

Almost through the song, I look up to find Alice standing behind Skip. Casually she lifts her hand and gives me a discrete thumbs up. _Yes!_ The rest of the song comes pouring out of me. Once finished I glance up to find myself looking straight into the eyes of the woman that I will always love.

~StN~

Bella

Damn you Alice!

This is supposed to be a nice, relaxing evening with my friends – not a stress-filled cluster fuck. I stare into the rearview visor and glare at her. I should have known that she'd try and pull something like this.

"I wish you would mind your own goddamn business Mary Alice Brandon!" I strike out at her.

She sticks out her tongue at me.

Alice would argue that as my friend it IS her business. Forever the eternal optimist she's made no secret of the fact that she believes Edward and I belong together. I think she's fucking delusional. How can she ignore all of the bullshit that I've had to deal with lately? Maybe in time Edward and I will be able to forge some sort of friendship but right now it's too soon to be all buddy-buddy and hang out.

I hear Alice's words echoing in my mind from the many conversations we've had on the topic…

"_You vowed to be there for each other in good times and in bad … I think this qualifies, don't you?"_

"_Why are you so willing to believe the bad things so easily?"_

"_What happened to your faith in each other?"_

"_Edward loves you and you love him …"_

I should have cold-cocked her then. She wouldn't listen to me when I tried explaining to her that it isn't that simple. How can I ever trust Edward again? And it's not that I don't want to – I desperately wish that I could. But I refuse to bury my head in the sand and pretend that nothing has happened either. I've seen first hand how it can destroy someone. I won't let that happen to me.

I feel a shiver run up and down my spine. My friends are all cautiously watching me. Were Rose and Jake in on this ambush too? They all look damn guilty.

Jake seems relieved when his cell phone starts to buzz. He quickly types a reply and is grinning and blushing at the same time. This girl, whoever she is must be pretty damn special! Good for him! I'm glad that Jake has finally found someone that makes him this happy.

"Why are we here?" I try to calm myself by taking a deep, cleansing breath. We are parked in the rear lot of the building where Bull Rant is recording this evening.

"Jasper asked if we could all stop in." Alice high-pitched voice starts to ramble, her words running together fast. "He was so excited about laying down their next track and I just couldn't say no. If you could have seen him Bella … he was like a little boy – so adorable. And when he looks at me like that, I just melt. I promise we don't have to stay very long … that is … not unless you want to."

She is certifiably NUTS!

I turn to my other two so-called friends. "Tell me you didn't join forces with Princess Odette over here. Did you?"

"Of course not!" Rose says indignantly. "But the boys really need our support Bella …" Rose does not lie very well and she looks rather uncomfortable. "Edward won't even know that you're here."

"Wow." I whisper to myself. "And yes, he will know! This morning I told him I was going out with you two idiots."

Jake is still preoccupied with his texting.

Alice perks up with unbridled excitement. "Oh my God! You've spoken to him?" She is practically bouncing up and down.

You would think she's just discovered that they were giving away free fucking Gucci handbags on the street corner!

"No, we texted each other." I might as well explain. "Our deranged counselor has ordered that we resume daily contact. I am to reach out to him in the morning and Edward to me at night."

Alice clasps her hands together unable to mask her delight. "Then this is perfect! It's almost night right now. It's actually a little romantic, don't you think?"

I can no longer restrain myself. Leaning forward I'm just about to smack the back of her head when Jake's hand reaches out and stops me.

"Hey!" His eyes bore into mine. "I'll be with you for support. We all will. You can do this."

Maybe he's right. I hold his hand tightly. "When I ask to leave, we'll leave, right?"

"Yes, of course!" Each of my so-called friends reassures me.

It's déjà vu for me as I enter the Hive. While nothing has physically changed inside the studio since I was last here, everything else has. Nothing is as it was then. My life has changed so completely and this causes tears to fill my eyes.

Yes, everything was so very different then.

Back then Edward and I were in here alone and he had wanted to stop in and listen to the rough draft of a new song they had been working on. We were sitting at the control panel – where Skip and Michele are now, only I was sitting on top of Edward's lap marveling as his long skilled fingers masterfully slid up and down the tabs making small adjustments...

**Three months earlier …**

My ass is positioned sideways on his thighs while my arm is draped over the back of his shoulders. There is something about watching Edward work that is really turning me on right now. Maybe it's because he's in his element … he is the master of his universe and totally in control. I find that so sexy and I am really turned on – again. I can't seem to get enough of my husband lately. It's not like he's complaining though.

Maybe I'm turning into a nymphomaniac?

Hmm … I can think of worse things to be. And it's not like we've gone without sex for any length of time. Last night was amazing and this morning even more so when I ambushed him inside the shower. I licked every square inch of his sexy body before washing him thoroughly. He was a very dirty boy.

The reality is though; I've finally come to a decision and I am going to tell Edward before having my wicked way with him yet again. I hope he'll be as enthusiastic and excited about it as he was the last time we talked about it a few months ago.

Blowing through pursed lips, I focus on the sensitive area just below his ear. My mouth slowly moves north and I start nibbling on his earlobe. I am practically purring and my ass starts rubbing up against his manhood. I smile when I feel him start to respond.

"Bella … baby." Edward tries to reprimand me but I can tell that he is pleased by my bold actions. "Please baby … just a few more minutes."

I ignore his lame warning and continue to run my fingers through his hair while laying a trail of kisses down his cheek and underneath his chin. He didn't shave this morning and his stubble tickles me. My hand travels over his chest and I can feel the outline of his muscles. Before I can undo the top button of his jeans, he stops me. His dark, lust-filled eyes are questioning mine.

"What is with you today, Bella?" He gives me a chaste kiss. "I thought I took care of you this morning."

"You most definitely did Edward … but do I really need a reason to want to fuck my incredibly hot and sexy husband?" My other hand rubs the outline of his erection.

"Of course not." His eyes probe mine. He knows I'm holding something back. "Bella … what is it? Tell me."

"I didn't open my new pill pack this morning." I whisper in his ear.

His eyes shoot up in surprise. "What did you just say?"

"You heard me." I say a little louder. "I stopped taking the pill and I want your DNA. I want to have your baby. I love you so much!"

Immediately he lowers his lips to mine and kisses me repeatedly. I feel the hot burning flames spread throughout my lower region setting my body ablaze. I am already wet and ready for him.

"Oh Bella … I love you!" His face is glowing with happiness and excitement. "I didn't mean to rush you baby. If you need more time … are you sure?"

On and off Edward and I have discussed having a baby together since the day we sat in the driveway before he met my family for the first time. But who am I kidding … Edward has wanted us to start a family from the moment he put my wedding ring on my finger. I on the other hand, wanted to wait a little bit longer. But lately I've been having vivid dreams and they all revolve around a bronze haired, blue-eyed, beautiful little boy who strongly resembles my husband. I know that I'm ready for this.

I nod my head. "Yes Edward, I'm sure. You haven't changed your mind, have you?" Now I am alarmed.

Ack! What if he has changed his mind and I'm already pregnant?

Edward doesn't immediately answer but instead unbuttons his pants and guides my hand inside his boxer-briefs. I unleash his magnificence and tighten my fingers around his erection setting him free.

"Come to daddy." He smiles before unzipping my jeans and pulling them along with my panties down, past my ankles. Lifting me up carefully, he aligns his cock with my opening and lowers me down onto him. "Let's make a baby … baby." A low moan escapes from his throat as we start a steady, rocking rhythm.

"Bella, are you all right?" Jake takes hold of my hand and squeezes it, bringing me back to the here and now, a dismal here and now. I glance at him and see that his face is etched with concern for me.

"You look really pale." He says and I wonder if he is second guessing this coup he and my so called friends planned.

I must have zoned out while getting caught up in my now painful memory. I can hear the band playing inside the small control room. Jake and I have been standing off to the side, out of view of the glass partition. The band is on the other side.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I lie. "Would you mind getting me one of those bottled waters from the vending machine downstairs?"

"No problem. I'll be right back." Jake says as he reassuringly squeezes my hand before letting go and quickly exits.

The band is in rare form today. They all sound so incredible and I watch them play with pride and awe. Edward's voice is especially powerful. His eyes are closed as he sings with emotion. He's good … really good.

Well I fell on black days

I fell on black days

How would I know

That this could be my fate

How would I know

That this could be my fate

So what you wanted to see good has made you blind

And what you wanted to be yours has made it mine

So don't you lock up something that you wanted to see fly

Hands are for shaking

No, not tying

No, not tying

I sure don't mind a change

I sure don't mind a change

Yeah I sure don't mind sure don't mind a change

I sure don't mind a change

But I fell on black days

I fell on black days

How would I know

That this could be my fate

How would I know

That this could be my fate

How would I know

That this could be my fate

How would I know

That this could be my fate

I sure don't mind a change

When the song ends, I look up and find that Edward is smiling directly at me. His smile is infectious and I can't help but smile back.

"Wow! That was excellent!" Vicky squeals into the microphone. "You guys are smokin' today!" She turns to Skip and questions him. "Again?"

"No, that was perfect." Skip leans over the microphone and says, "It's a wrap boys."

Emmett, Jasper and Riley all get up and walk towards the door that separates the two rooms. Edward stays behind. His surprised band mates turn around and spot Edward moving over to the keyboards. He is tapping on the microphone and it makes a crackling, protesting noise. Leaning against the far side of the wall, his friends watch him.

"Something you want to tell us man?" Riley jokes.

"Going solo Edward?" Emmett shouts and laughs.

"Shut up you guys and listen. I'll bet he's written something for the album." Jasper silences them.

"I'd like to play a song that I've recently written." Edward is sitting on Riley's bench in front of the keyboard. He breaks out into one of his heart-stopping smiles. "This isn't for the album though." His eyes bore into mine. His fingers start to move slowly over the keys.

Vicky turns to Michele and Skip. "Record it." She orders.

Life's been blinding me

From what I thought I'd see

Is there clarity in this insanity? Yeah

What's she want from me? Yeah

Roads in front of me

Taking me astray

Are you leaving me?

Oh are you leading the way?

Can you hear what I'm sayin'?

I need to know...

I need to know...

I need to know...

I need to know...

Feel like I'm tryin' to breathe under water

Tryin' to climb but I keep fallin' farther, yeah

Will you take my hand?

Feel so far away

Want to see your face

Are you even there?

Can you show me!

Can you make me believe!

I need to know...

I need to know...

I need to know...

I need to know...

I need to know...

I need to know...

Our eyes are locked the entire time he performs and I know beyond a shadow of doubt that he's written this song for me. But the real question I have now is … why?

Does he really feel this way?

What the fuck does this mean?

I pry my eyes away to escape his intense, penetrating gaze. While his song has touched me deeply, I can't allow myself to get swept up into all the raw emotions that are swirling inside of me right now.

Stay strong!

Taking a deep breath, I reopen my eyes and am surprised to find that everyone is staring at me … waiting for me to say something. But I have no words …

"Hello Bella." Vicky breaks the awkward moment. She comes over and gives me a hug. "What a lovely surprise."

"For me as well." I find my voice again but it is shaky and weak. I swallow back my tears.

"That was beautiful Edward." Vicky says. "Very touching but you're right, it's not right for the album."

Jake re-enters the small room and hands me my bottled water at the exact same moment that Edward enters along with his band mates. I briefly catch his horrified expression when he notices Jake standing beside me. I shake my head in utter disbelief.

Could Edward really be jealous of Jacob?

Jake steps forward to greet Edward and his hand hangs by itself in midair. "Hey man, it's good to see you again."

Edward completely ignores him. "I'm glad you came, Bella." He says briskly as he brushes past us and practically runs out of the studio. Dave takes off after him while Riley gives Jake a puzzled look and then takes off after Edward as well.

"What did I do?" Jake questions me.

"Absolutely nothing." I reply. My mouth sets firmly into a straight line. I'm appalled by Edward's behavior toward my dear friend.

I cannot fucking believe this!

Edward's accusatory question the night I left him suddenly springs to my mind.

"_Did you and good old Jacob ever fuck?"_

I hadn't taken it too seriously at the time. I really thought he was only lashing out at me for taking Jake's call while we were arguing but now I am wondering if he really meant it. It strikes me as both outrageous and ridiculous that he's had these feelings and held them in for so long.

Why didn't he ever say anything?

And how dare he get all self-righteous with me! I've done nothing to create the mess that we're presently in. I now recall that he questioned my fidelity while in our counseling session with Jessica a few weeks ago. I had thought that it had been a low blow said to deflect from _his_ infidelity. He really needs to take a good long look in the mirror for a reality check! Anger is replacing the heart-tugging emotions that I was feeling towards him only a few moments ago.

Vicky audibly sighs and looks directly at me. "Well I think that's it for tonight everyone. Let's all go get a bite to eat to celebrate!"

"The more the merrier!" Alice chimes in with her perky, singsong voice and I really want to slap her … again. "We are going to Tumulty's Pub. Why don't we all go? It'll be so much fun!"

Oh goody, maybe I'll strangle both her and him! Won't that be fun?

"Excellent!" Vicky whips out her cell phone. "I'll let James know to meet us there. We have some wonderful news to share. I can hardly wait!"

Jake takes one look at me and knows that I am upset. He throws his arm around my shoulders for support. "It's okay Bella. I'm here for you. Everything is going to be just fine."

Why don't' I believe him?

* * *

**A/N: Edward has started to take the necessary steps to reclaim his life and Bella isn't so sure she's ready to be 'friends' with him. How did you like the flashbacks? I know I left you hanging with the Vegas wedding – I think Bella will elaborate more in a future chapter. How do you feel now knowing just how close Edward and Bella came to having it all? Did the song he sang to her move you too? Will she really strangle him in the next chapter? Let me know your thoughts and questions in the form of a review.**

**Bull Rant played "Fell on Black Days" by Soundgarden in their recording session and Edward sang for Bella "I Need to Know" by Kris Allen. Thanks T, for making the most amazing video to go with "I Need to Know". **


	11. Chapter 11

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns everything Twilight.**

**A/N: A quick thanks to my amazing Beta T, Lovin Rob. **

**A nice evening out among friends can be a wonderful thing … sometimes.**

* * *

Chapter Eleven

"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight." Phyllis Diller

Edward

I am so fucking pissed at myself right now.

I cannot believe that I just stormed out of the recording studio like a three-year old brat having a temper tantrum. Bella saw my overreaction. I'm sure of it. If I were smart – which apparently I'm not, I would have played it cool … act like Jacob being here didn't bother me in the least. Any inroads I may have made with Bella by playing the song I wrote for her have probably evaporated.

But dammit! I was caught off guard and these days I'm finding it increasingly difficult to keep my emotions in check. Discovering that Jacob was inside 'my territory' smiling and standing beside 'my girl' … as if he belonged there sent me over the edge. If I'd known in advance that he would be there, I could have formed some sort of plan like breaking his hand when he offered it to me. Let that son-of-a-bitch feel some pain for a change. I'm sick and tired of having bits and pieces of my heart ripped out and torn into shreds. All right, maybe I'm being slightly melodramatic here.

But what the hell is he doing here anyway?

Did Jacob just happen to be in town visiting? Or has he moved to Seattle to get away from the exciting and fun-filled town of Forks? A truly frightening thought enters my mind … where has he been staying while here?

As I push through the backdoor of the building, twilight is spreading over the evening sky. I walk to the narrow alley on the side of the building. It's rather cool for a mid-summer night so I button the first few buttons on my jacket. Leaning against the wall, I take several deep breaths in an effort to calm myself as our esteemed counselor has suggested on numerous occasions.

Dr. Stanley, you truly suck!

When that doesn't work, I revert to my tried and true method and remove a cigarette from the half-empty pack inside of my jacket. It has taken me almost a full year to quit smoking but all it took was one angst-filled night for me to start up again. It's a crutch but one that I badly need. I vow that one day I'll quit again … maybe when my life isn't such a fucking disaster. Taking a deep drag I exhale slowly.

When Dave and Riley round the corner and spot me they come running quickly to my side. Physically fit Dave has barely broken a sweat while Riley is out of breath and gasping for air.

"Edward, sir …" Dave gives me a look of deep disapproval. "I can't do my job unless you stay by me."

Riley isn't nearly as diplomatic. "What the fuck is wrong with you man? Are you crazy, on drugs or just fucking stupid? One minute you're all smiles and making googily-eyes with Bella and the next you look like you're going to murder her friend!"

He gestures for me to give him one of my cigarettes and quickly lights up.

"Smoking will kill you sir." Dave's rebuke is duly noted. "Lung cancer is the most common cause of cancer in both men and women in the United States with approximately 1.38 million deaths annually."

"Well, aren't you just the fucking perfect public service announcement?" Riley lets out a laugh and then takes another deep drag. He exhales a perfect set of O's and looks me square in the eye. "Do you have a problem with Jacob?"

"You might say that."

Should I tell him? I haven't even confided in Jasper or Emmett about any of this shit and I am closer to them. I suddenly blurt out taking both men by surprise.

"My wife is fucking him."

Riley starts to choke and cough. "Say what?"

His mouth is hanging open in astonishment and some other emotion that I can't quite put my finger on … humor maybe? He thinks this is goddamn funny?

"You heard me." I shake my head slowly. "I don't know if this has been a long-term thing between them or if it has only recently begun but I can't believe that motherfucker has the balls to show his ugly mug around here and flaunt it in my face!"

"Do you have any solid proof of this so-called fucking or is it just your wild imagination grasping at straws, trying to justify and brush over your less than exemplary behavior as of late?" Riley says all serious-like.

I stare blankly at him. Too bad he's gay. He and Dr. Stanley with their psycho babble bullshit would be perfect for each other.

"Bella doesn't seem the type of girl who would carry on behind your back Edward." Riley continues to talk and this annoys me. "Up until very recently you and Bella were the most solid couple that I'd ever known. I always thought that it would be Emmett and that bitch, Rose who would split up."

I can't stop myself from snickering as I've often thought the same thing. "Well I don't have anything concrete. It's just a feeling I have. I mean it's not normal for a man and woman to be as close as Bella and Jake are and NOT be doing it. And he was always calling or texting her day and night … sometimes three or four times a day! That's more than I did!"

"Maybe they are just good friends sir." Dave adds surprising both Riley and me. "I have a close lady friend that I've had lunch with every Wednesday since college. It's purely platonic and my wife and she are good friends."

"And you don't want to have sex with her?" I ask incredulously. "Let me re-phrase that question … did you ever have sex with her?"

Dave doesn't verbally answer but he shifts uncomfortably. His face reddens.

"Yeah, I thought so." I mutter.

Sex always comes between the sexes.

"Are you going home to wallow in self-pity or out to the pub to try and enjoy yourself with good friends? Maybe have a few drinks and a bite to eat?" Riley asks just as the back doors swing open and our mutual friends walk out into the parking lot. "Do you think you can you behave yourself?"

Can I? That's a very good question.

I cringe when I observe Jacob with his arm draped possessively around my wife's shoulder guiding her towards Alice's car.

Am I going to slither away and make this easy for Jacob?

Fuck no I am not! Let's see who will be taking Bella home later tonight. Bring it on you arrogant, cocky son-of-a-bitch!

"Well what are you waiting for?" I say to Dave. "Come on let's go."

A half an hour later I'm seated at a large circular table nearest the wall in the corner of the room. There is a small rectangular stage a few feet away where the karaoke equipment and microphone are set up. Saving a seat for James, Vicky is directly on my right side and Jasper and Alice are to my left. Directly in front of me is Emmett and Rose with Bella, Jacob and Riley. Dave is at his own table, well within striking distance should his services be required. He looks very out of place with his black suit and tie, sipping on a glass of water with his eyes pointedly fixed on our table.

A very attractive waitress with an impressive rack delivers two large pitchers of cold beer and Mojitos for the girls. I'm certain that Bella has noticed her flagrant attempts at flirting with me as she keeps throwing daggers at her with her eyes. At least that is what I'd like to think she's doing. Maybe those daggers are directed at me.

It strikes me just how much I've changed since Bella has entered my life. At one time I wouldn't have hesitated to shamelessly encourage that waitress and without a doubt I'd have had my way with her. Like most women, she'd be putty in my hands but Bella has essentially ruined all other women for me. The hunt and conquer no longer holds the same appeal for me. I've come to learn that sex without love is rather meaningless and shallow.

I ask you this, when you've had the very best how can you settle for anything less?

Tumulty's has a full house tonight and it's difficult to hear each other's voices above the steady stream of noise from the crowd and loud music. But the beer and drinks are flowing freely and my friends have loosened up considerably, although I am still nursing the same beer. Having no desire to get wasted, I take another bite of my cheeseburger. I am determined to stay clear headed and keep a close eye on my competitor, Jacob. Taking another sip to wash down my food, I pay close attention and strain to listen to the unfiltered conversations swirling around our table.

"It's very simple Rose. You and Alice would be nothing but a distraction for Emmett and Jasper in Las Vegas." Vicky flashes Rose a smile that is anything but friendly. "I have their every minute planned to maximize Bull Rant's exposure. I can't have Emmett worrying about your every little whim when he has to focus. Comprende?"

"Any chance that you'd like to go shopping with me again Bella?" Alice excitedly asks, her expression hopeful. "There is a major sale going on at Rafael's next week …"

"I am not some 'distraction' Vicky. I am Emmett's wife." Rose snarls, her stern voice rising. "We are partners. Where he goes I go and vice versa. I will always be there to support my husband 100%. Kapish?"

"I'd sooner have a lobotomy Alice." Bella answers, rolling her eyes.

I laugh at my wife's quick wit. It's one of the many things I love about her. Bella and I briefly make eye contact but she quickly turns away.

"Hey Rosie honey, I'll make it up to you another time." Emmett reaches for his wife's hand but she yanks it away. It appears that by siding with Vicky, he is in the doghouse. Rose glares at him.

"Listen to your husband for once." Vicky is gloating. "Maybe after the new album is released and before the boys start touring, you can squeeze in a long weekend trip."

"Would we need your permission first?" You can cut Rose's sarcasm with a knife.

"How about those Mariner's?" Riley asks loudly.

God bless him! He's trying to derail the imminent train wreck that is Vicky and Rose.

"I suggest you remember Vicky, that you work FOR the band and that you do NOT get a say in our personal lives …" Emmett is tugging on Rose's hand for her to stop. "Furthermore, it is YOU who are dispensable! Not me!"

"I didn't mean anything by it Rose." Vicky puts on her cool, calm and collected facade and backtracks. "What's wrong with you tonight anyways? You're bitchier than usual."

Rose and Vicky's exchange is getting good or bad, depending on your point of view. There has never been any love lost between those two and neither misses an opportunity to stick it to the other. I kind of feel sorry for Emmett, always being stuck in the middle of those two very strong personalities but only for a nanosecond.

"Hey Edward!" Jacob calls out.

I turn in his direction upon hearing my name spoken.

"Terry, Tracey, Tawa …" His voice is loud and he's smirking while looking directly at me. "Tabitha, Tammy, Tasha..."

What the fuck is his problem anyway? I give him a menacing scowl and turn away but not before noticing that Bella is smacking his shoulder. She's annoyed with him about something. Good.

"Fuck you Vicky!" Rose yells and our entire table can no longer ignore their barbs.

"Right back at you Rose!" Vicky smiles. I think it's safe to say that Vicky has won this round.

The lights start to flicker on and off as a really tall, skinny dude with long stringy hair takes the stage. He taps the microphone several times and it lets out a piercing, protesting noise. The room slowly quiets down as all eyes turn to him.

The tall, skinny dude opens his mouth and speaks. "We're too cheap to provide you with real entertainment so you're going to have to amuse yourselves." His lame joke causes ripples of laughter. "So re-fill your glasses and come on up … its Karaoke time!" Loud applause follows.

James has finally shown up and he slips into the chair beside Vicky. Placing his arm around her shoulders, he gives her a kiss and gestures for the waitress to come over.

I cringe at the thought of having to listen to innumerable drunken fools who are under the mistaken assumption that they can actually sing. A sober Alice is bouncing up and down in her chair like a broken Jack-in-the-box and even Rose, who moments earlier was frothing at the mouth, seems to be in good spirits again. I glance over at Bella who is gulping down the last of her second Mojito and is cowering low in her chair. Bella can't hold her liquor very well as I know only too well. She asks the waitress who is taking James' order for another drink.

The performances that follow on stage are every bit as awful as I knew they would be and I'm now wondering if I should re-fill my beer mug or just have Dave shoot me.

I casually observe my wife and Jacob sitting together trying to determine if they are indeed a couple. Their body language is hard to read. While their sides are touching I'd like to believe that is only because our chairs are so close together. Lucky for Jacob there is no blatant PDA going on. In fact he seems to be far more interested in his conversation with Riley. Must be more Mariners' and sports related crap.

The music selection is not only appalling but ear splitting as well. My head is starting to pound along with the beat. It's almost an hour later before Alice and Rose storm the stage together. Jasper and Emmett are hooting and hollering their approval as their ladies gyrate and take turns singing. The inebriated audience shamelessly cheers them on. But even I have to admit that they aren't too bad.

I kissed a girl and I liked it

The taste of her cherry chap stick

I kissed a girl just to try it

I hope my boyfriend don't mind it

It felt so wrong

It felt so right

Don't mean I'm in love tonight

I kissed a girl and I liked it

I liked it,

Us girls we are so magical

Soft skin, red lips, so kissable

Hard to resist so touchable

Too good to deny it

Ain't no big deal, it's innocent

They end their performance by smooching and the crowd goes wild. Okay, that was rather hot. I think there was tongue involved. They quickly head back to our table and literally drag Bella out of her chair and up onto the stage. She turns bright red and due to the large quantity of alcohol she has consumed, she's a little unsteady on her feet. Alice and Rose remain up on stage, presumably as her back-up singers but my guess is so she doesn't bolt.

I'm totally enthralled and amazed when the song starts and Bella grabs hold of the microphone. She begins to suggestively swivel her hips in that sexy circular motion that I used to love. My cock stirs in my jeans. She looks so fucking sexy in her black skinny jeans and too short red top that shows her midriff. Her lacy black bra is visible beneath.

We've been here too long, tryin' to get along

Pretendin' that you're oh so shy

I'm a natural ma'am, doin' all I can

My temperature is runnin' high

Cry at night, no one in sight

An' we got so much to share

Talking's fine, if you got the time

But I ain't got the time to spare, yeah

Do you wanna touch, yeah?

Do you wanna touch, yeah?

Do you wanna touch me there? Where?

Do you wanna touch, yeah?

Do you wanna touch, yeah?

Do you wanna touch me there? Where? There, yeah

The crowd answers her by yelling along with the song …

Yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah

Yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah

Every girl an' boy needs a little joy

All you do is sit an' stare

Beggin' on my knees baby, won't you please

Run your fingers through my hair

My, my, my, whiskey and rye

Don't it make you feel so fine

Right or wrong, don't it turn you on

Can't you see we're wastin' time, yeah

I can't seem to take my eyes off of Bella. As if she can sense me staring at her, she suddenly looks in my direction. I am so turned on. Fuck! She must know the effect that she has on me.

Do you wanna touch, yeah?

Do you wanna touch, yeah?

Do you wanna touch me there? Where?

Do you wanna touch, yeah?

Do you wanna touch, yeah?

Do you wanna touch me there? Where? There, yeah

Yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah

Yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah

Yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah

Once finished she moves to step off of the stage and trips. And wouldn't you know it? Good old Jacob is right there to catch her! Both of his hands are firmly planted on her slim waist and it's all I can do to remain seated in my chair. Inwardly I seethe as Jacob's hand remains on her lower back guiding her back to our table.

This has to be one of the most excruciating nights of my entire life. To be this close to her and yet so far …

~StN~

Bella

If looks could kill … I shudder.

A moment ago Edward was smiling at me. I could feel the familiar connection pulsing between us as I was singing just for him. But that immediately changes as I nearly fall on my ass and into Jake's arms. Immediately I pull away from his embrace but as he is rather protective of me, his hand remains on my lower back. I can sense Edward's eyes watching the both of us.

Back at the table, I turn to Alice, "I really have to pee. Do you know where the bathroom is?" It seems that four drinks is my bladders maximum limit before bursting.

"Come with me." Alice rises and takes my hand. "We can use the employee's bathroom. It's close by and private."

I blindly follow Alice through the small galley and down past the busy kitchen staff who are too preoccupied to take notice of us. A few doors down the dimly lit corridor is the bathroom.

"Please wait here for me Alice." I plead as I quickly close the door behind me and try to peal off my tight jeans.

This isn't the easiest task in my present condition but somehow I manage. Not a moment too soon, I might add. It's with immense relief that I take a seat. After flushing and readjusting my skinny jeans, I take a good look at myself in the mirror.

Oh shit! Fluorescent lights should be fucking illegal!

I look like something out of a horror movie! I'm ghostly pale and my mascara; the only make-up I am wearing has smeared. In spite of myself and in my drunken condition, I start to giggle. It looks as if I have a black eye. My hair is out of control as well.

Sex hair without the sex!

Opening my small clutch purse, I try to fix my mascara and tame my wild hair. After several minutes I come to the conclusion that it just isn't possible. Maybe Alice can help me?

When I open the door to ask her in, I'm suddenly pushed back inside. The door quickly closes. I blink rapidly, confused as to why Edward is standing in front of me and not Alice. Where is she? But his intent is clear and before I can say one word he pulls me close against his lean, muscular frame. Lowering his face, his lips swoop down and his mouth claims mine. My heart is racing. I can barely breathe.

The alcohol in my system is making it hard for me to think clearly and it is clouding my judgment. Desire, hot and heavy courses through my veins and I find myself responding to his urgent, passionate kisses. The little voice inside my head shakes her finger and tells me that I should stop him. I gag her with duct tape.

I don't want him to stop. I don't ever want him to stop.

When his tongue enters my mouth I willingly join his … twirling, probing, rediscovering … I tilt my head back as his hungry lips travel down past my chin and over the soft skin of my throat. My fingers run greedily through his silky bronze hair and I pull him closer to me. My breathing is ragged but then, so is his. We're both caught up in this moment and it's powerful, raw and scalding hot!

When the outline of his erection presses hard against my hip, that little voice within me breaks free and screams that if I don't do something now; Edward and I are going to have sex right here, in the employee bathroom of a pub.

Would that be such a bad thing? Maybe I should just let things progress naturally. It's fairly obvious that we both need this.

Sadly I realize that having sex with Edward would be a major mistake … a disaster, a total mind-fuck of the greatest magnitude. I know with growing certainty that I would regret it soon afterwards.

Summoning what little control I have left over my traitorous body, I reluctantly whisper, "What are we doing Edward?"

Pulling back slightly he looks at me with an amused expression.

"Yes, I know what we're doing but what I don't understand is why?" I search his face hoping to find an answer.

Ever so lightly his finger traces my cheekbone. "I need to know." He pulls me closer; his hands are resting on my hips.

"Know what?" I ask.

"If you feel it too." His hand is caressing my hair.

"Are you asking if I am attracted to you?"

I sigh and take a step backwards. What I feel for him is so much more than physical. I need to bridge some distance between us so my brain can start functioning again. His proximity is intoxicating and I need to think clearly. I step further away from him and close my eyes, breathing in deeply.

"Okay, yes we are amazing together when it comes to sex." I confess. I open my eyes and watch him. "But this is wrong Edward. We shouldn't be making out like two hormone driven teenagers. Nothing has changed between us." I shake my head in confusion. "I thought you wanted us to be friends?"

A shy smile spreads across his breathtakingly handsome face. "Yeah, I do."

"I'm not comfortable having a 'friends with benefits' relationship Edward." I'm suddenly feeling a little claustrophobic in this small, confined space with Mr. Sex on Legs mere inches away. I need to get out of here. "We should head back before they send a search party out looking for us."

"Dave is standing outside." He admits.

How odd is that? I suddenly blush realizing that he probably knows what we're doing in here.

Edward closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry Bella. I guess I was just hoping …" He doesn't finish his sentence but opens the door and steps outside closing the door behind him.

What was he hoping?

There is a knock at the door.

"Just a minute, please." I answer. I'm not ready to return and face everyone yet.

Lowering the toilet lid, I sit down. My head falls between my knees as I try to get myself together. Feeling slightly light-headed, I take several deep breaths. Edward has been sending me mixed signals for some time now. I honestly don't know whether I'm coming or going anymore. And what's worse is that I'm beginning to wonder if I will always feel this way.

"_Tell me Bella because I really want to know. When did you turn into such a bitch?"_

"_I wish you'd stop acting as if you're my mother! We're not here because of the 'little' things that all couples find irritating about each other."_

"_Oh that's convenient. You want to be open and discuss my short-comings but as soon as it gets a little uncomfortable you clam up."_

"_I've always been faithful to her. Can she say the same to me?"_

"_I wanted to let you know how much I regret those pictures being splashed all over the Internet. I wasn't myself and I don't … I also hoped that we could find a way to get past all this animosity. Even though our marriage is coming to an end, I'd like us to remain friends."_

"_I'd like for us to try … please Bella. I've missed you."_

And then there was that incredibly beautiful song he played earlier. It sounded to me as if he was asking me for more than friendship. I am so confused.

_**Knock, knock, knock … **_

It's another minute or so before I slip out of the bathroom. I feel a pang of guilt for staying inside so long when I spot the poor teenage busboy shifting uncomfortably while leaning up against the wall.

"Sorry." I mutter as I breeze past him and make my way back to the table.

Karaoke is over and the pub has thinned out and quieted considerably. Most of the remaining clientele are clustered at the bar at the far side of the room. There are five or six women gathered around our table. Edward's bodyguard is keeping them a safe distance away from him. It seems that the large muscular man is the go between in handing the ladies their signed autographs. Nervously, Edward looks up and gives me an apologetic grin.

Shrugging my shoulders, I sigh. Unfortunately when you are as handsome and famous as Edward is, it comes with the territory. I never really had a problem with any of it until recently when it began to interfere with our lives. It was then that I realized how dangerous unrestricted access to any one of the boys by the general public or paparazzi could be. At the moment I'm finding the intimidating bodyguard standing nearby oddly comforting. Clutching their prized mementos in hand, the women scatter.

James gestures for me to come over to him. "Hey Bella, it's so good to see you again."

He then stands and puts his arms around me, squeezing just a little too tight and rather inappropriately. James has always been a bit too touchy-feely for my comfort. Quickly I maneuver out of his grasp and take a step back.

"How are you James?" I politely inquire.

Edward is pretending that he is not paying attention to our conversation but he isn't fooling me. I know him too well.

"Never better … never better." James answers before winking at Vicky. "And you?"

"I'm good. I've recently begun writing articles for the Cultural Arts and Entertainment section of the newspaper." Out of the corner of my eye I catch Edward looking my way. "I get to go out on assignments and do interviews. It's really cool."

"Hmm … that's very interesting." James throws a questioning glance at Vicky and asks her. "What do you think of the Seattle Times running a series of articles on Bull Rant? It'd be great free publicity."

Vicky seems a little taken back by James idea and quickly discounts it. "I'd prefer that we stick to larger magazines and national newspapers like USA Today. The Seattle Times just doesn't have the broad demographic audience to make it worth our while."

I suddenly feel the need to stick up for my employer. "You know Vicky, some of our columns and opinion pieces are syndicated and appear in other newspapers throughout the nation and some are even published abroad."

"But then you probably wouldn't be aware of such things would you?" I sweetly flash her a smile. Take that bitch!

"I think that is a fantastic idea Bella." Edward butts into our discussion. "And since you are so closely associated with the band and know all of the players involved, who better to conduct these interviews than you?"

That is not what I meant to suggest at all. I start back-pedaling. "Maybe Vicky is right. The band should aim higher."

James is shaking his head. "No, I really like this idea. Who is your editor, Bella?" He excitedly adds, "You can even ride the tour bus with us to Las Vegas! You can tweet and help build the momentum for Bull Rant's appearance and also get to write some great articles in the process."

Normally I would jump at such an incredibly great opportunity but I have some serious reservations. "Um …" I'm not sure how to respond. "I don't know …"

"Nonsense." James already seems to have made up his mind. "I can't believe that you didn't come up with this brilliant idea yourself, Vicky."

Vicky is trying to mask her disapproval and annoyance. For that matter, so am I but I'm less successful than she is.

I'm horrified when Edward volunteers, "Bill Banner is her editor. I'll give him a call myself." He then winks at me!

Oh no, no, no, no!

Now that it appears that this matter was settled to James' satisfaction, he taps on the table and speaks loudly. "Listen up everyone. Vicky and I have an important announcement to make."

All heads turn towards James. Vicky is all smiles when she starts waiving and twirling her left hand in the air showcasing her emerald-cut diamond ring. I don't know how any of us have missed it all evening, as it is so gaudy. It's almost blinding.

"I have been fortunate and blessed to have found the love of my life, my soul-mate, best friend and soon to be full partner here at Visions Management … oh and did I mention future wife? Come here Victoria sweetheart." James pulls her into an embrace and kisses her full on the mouth.

A chorus of handshakes and congratulations follow. Alice screeches at the top of her lungs and rushes over to get all of the juicy details. I feel a sudden rush of sympathy for my friend who I know would love to get married and plan an over-the-top wedding of her own but we all know how Jasper feels about marriage.

It's only when Edward is shaking James' hand that I notice that his gold wedding band is back on. It looks badly dinged and scratched but it is on his finger! I inhale sharply, unable to look away.

What the hell does this mean?

Riley is the first to leave and I overhear him offering to give Jake a ride to his friend's place.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around the mystery of the ring when Jake pulls me up from my chair and wraps his arms around my waist. He leans in to kiss my cheek but we both turn our heads at the same time resulting in our lips touching instead. Jake laughs at our mistake and gives me another quick peck on the cheek.

"I had a wonderful time with you this week Bella." Jake smiles at me warmly. "A really great time." He emphasizes.

"Me too." The house is going to seem so empty and quiet without my friend. "Will you be back soon?"

"Very soon, I promise. " Jake hugs me once more and follows Riley towards the exit. Turning around he calls out to me, "I love you girl!"

I'm planning on taking Edward aside before leaving with Alice and ask that he not call Banner but when I look up, I discover that he is no longer seated at the table.

Damn!

I am waiting impatiently for Alice and Vicky to finish their non-stop exchange of wedding ideas. Hoping that this will put a quick end to it, I reach inside my purse and pull out the business card for the exclusive Seattle wedding planner that I had recently interviewed. Vicky is overjoyed when I hand it to her. Alice scowls. I'll bet anything that she had hoped to plan their nuptials herself.

"There's a terrible fist fight in the parking lot!" An out of breath woman frantically yells as she comes running into the pub. "Call the police!" She urges the bartender.

Oh fuck! Why do I have a really, really bad feeling about this?

* * *

**A/N: Well that was fun, wasn't it? Edward says one thing but does another. Bella not knowing if she's coming or going … hmm. Viva Las Vega … road trip! YES! But first another fun-filled session with Jessica awaits us …**

**Alice and Rose had a blast singing and dancing to Katy Perry's, "I Kissed A Girl" and Bella was uber-sexy belting out Joan Jett & the Blackheart's, "Do You Wanna Touch Me (Oh Yeah)**

**Now show me some love by hitting me up with a review in the form of a comment or question. Thanks for reading!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns everything Twilight.**

**A/N: A quick shout of thanks to my amazing Beta T, Lovin Rob.**

**Honesty is the best policy, isn't it?**

* * *

Chapter Twelve

"When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason." Molly McGee

Edward

Without giving it much thought, I rub my fingers over my chin and note that my previously well-groomed facial scruff is more beard-like this morning. I flinch as my hand is still throbbing from having pummeled Jacob in the parking lot the previous night. It felt so fucking good! A smile slowly spreads across my face as I remember last night.

'You ambushed him!' My conscience admonishes me. 'Jumped on him from behind and beat the living shit out of him is more like it.'

Nervously I laugh out loud. Yeah, I kind of did do that. But that motherfucker had it coming. From the moment I saw him with Bella in the recording studio it had been building up inside of me. And he had been goading me all evening long.

'No, that's not entirely true.' My conscience raises an eyebrow. 'You know that it goes back much farther than that.'

I imagine that Jacob is here with me now wearing his abnormally large smile plastered on his goddamn face and he's taunting me again. _You lost … I won … fucking Bella's so much fun!_ My fists clench in response to my dark thoughts. I want to hit him over and over again until I wipe that sick smile off his fucking face … permanently.

If the green-eyed monster inside of me were to be completely honest instead of living in denial, I would have to acknowledge the fact that I have been jealous of Jacob Black from the moment Bella introduced us. No, that's not true… I shake my head … it goes back even farther. But having to witness my wife being with him forced me to realize there is indeed a special bond between them. I'm not particularly good at sharing, probably the result of having been an only child. It is really hard for me to watch the easy and carefree way they behave around one another. It is way too familiar for my liking. And I cannot forget what good old Jake repeatedly tells me whenever he gets the chance … they share a long history together. He may have been baiting me even back then.

**Sixteen months earlier …**

"I think that went really well, don't you? Bella asks as she laces her fingers together with mine. "I told you Charlie would love you, didn't I?"

Her good mood is contagious and I smile in spite of the harrowing experience I'd just had.

"Yeah, your dad was really singing my praises. I particularly enjoyed the way he snapped the barrel of his gun after fully loading it. You might say that we shared a 'Hallmark' moment."

Bella rolls her eyes at me and slides into the passenger seat of the Volvo. "Charlie would never shoot you." She elaborates before I start the car. "He's just very protective of me. My dad doesn't trust easily. My mother hurt him very badly so he's suspicious of everyone. Plus I've never brought a boyfriend home before so I think he must know how very special you are to me."

Lifting her hand, she turns my head towards her. "I love you Edward Cullen …" Her lips brush against mine. "So very much." Bella's words send shivers up and down my spine.

This is my cue and I take this opportunity to shamelessly ask her yet again. "Enough to marry me?" I've asked her this question every day since we moved in together last month.

"Maybe." Her fingers start to gently massage the small hairs on the back of my head as my proposal hangs between us. "While we're here, I'd like for you to meet one of my oldest and dearest friends."

"Angela?"

At least that is who I'm hoping she means. If I recall correctly, she has mentioned an Angela as being one of her oldest and dearest friends. I really hope it's not that guy – Jacob Black. His name comes up much too frequently in our conversations for my liking.

"No, not Angela. Don't you remember me telling you the other night that Angela and her boyfriend, Ben moved to Denver a few months ago?" She looks at me warily. "Were you not paying attention to me when we discussed this?"

I try to distract her by laying a trail of kisses down the side of her neck. "Baby you know that it's hard for me to carry on any meaningful conversation after we've made love."

I playfully nip and tug on her bottom lip. "You completely wear me out." My tongue darts inside her mouth and she lets out a small whimper. Immediately my mind envisions her sprawled out naked on our bed. "Let's go back home where I can crawl inside of you." I urgently plead.

Sadly, she pushes me back into my seat. "It's very important to me that you meet Jake. I want my two favorite guys to like each other." She lifts my chin so I'm looking directly into her eyes. "I promise that I'll have an answer for you afterwards."

"Oh all right." I hear myself saying.

Who am I kidding? I am incapable of denying her anything she wants. I kiss her once more before backing my car out of the driveway and heading down the road.

When we arrive at the Black's home, Jacob's father, Billy, warmly greets us. Maneuvering his wheelchair down the short hallway, we dutifully follow him into the small living room. Taking a seat on the sofa beside Bella, I hold her hand noting the many American Indian artifacts on the shelves and hanging on the walls. I have to admit that their culture and history has always fascinated me. I'd like to learn more about it. Perhaps it is possible for Jacob and me to forge a friendship.

A minute later Jacob casually strolls into the room. Quickly I access him … he's tall, tan, bare-chested and sporting a well defined and rock hard six-pack. Barefoot, he's only clothed in a pair of faded and well-worn denim jeans. Friendship? Nope – that is definitely not going to happen. What the hell was I thinking?

Grinning a lop-sided smile, Jacob extends his hand for me to shake and squeezes mine a little too hard. Inwardly I wince. Ouch! Oh yeah, Jacob Black is indeed a formidable opponent.

With a deadpan expression, he flashes his pearly whites and says to me in a serious voice, "So, you're the guy who has stolen my girl's heart away from me?"

I should have introduced Jacob to my right hook that very day. Instead I joked and made all nicey-nice with that bastard. I put on a performance worthy of an Oscar. Somehow I must have met with his approval because later that very night Bella agreed to be my wife. This still puzzles me though. Why did he give Bella the thumbs up? Was he simply biding his time waiting for the cracks to surface in our marriage before swooping in and claiming her for his own?

Fucking devious bastard!

Too bad Dave and Riley pulled me off of him. I wasn't quite finished. But it really wasn't too much of a fight as he barely fought back. Mostly he just stood there and took it and when the cop's showed up, he even downplayed the whole thing. I felt like such an ass – the crazy, jealous, out-of-control husband.

'_Ex-Husband'_, my conscious pops in just to torment me.

I'll give him this much though, it was a brilliant move. I must have played right into his hands because I'll never forget the look of disgust on Bella's face when I was thrown into the back seat of the police cruiser.

"Cullen, Edward!" I look up when my name is suddenly called. "You're being released."

It's about fucking time! I wonder who posted my bail. My guess is either James or Vicky. Although I don't really care at this point. Spending the night in a jail cell is about as awful as I imagined it would be. The only upside is that I didn't meet some big dude named Bubba.

The officer unlocks the small holding cell that I've shared all night with two other guys. One is passed out drunk on a small cot while the other is muttering incoherently to himself in the corner. I think he might have just pissed in his pants.

"Am I really free to go?" I ask the officer who leads me out.

"Unfortunately, yes." He huffs, shaking his head. "There isn't much of a case unless your victim presses charges."

Another brilliant move by Jacob fucking Black! I'm the bad guy and he comes out smelling like a rose.

'But isn't that how it is?' My conscience shines the mirror of truth in front of me.

I'm led over to a small glass partition and am given back my personal effects. An armed guard then opens the door and I pass through the police station. I'm thoroughly stunned when I enter the waiting area and find my dad sitting there. Wearing a pair of Ray Bans, an LA Dodger's baseball cap and his jacket with the collar pulled up, he doesn't look conspicuous. Nope, not at all. Spotting me from across the room, he quickly heads over in my direction.

"Dad?" I ask. "How did you know …?"

He interrupts me. "Bella called." Turning on his heels he briskly walks towards the door and holds it open for me. "Let's get the hell out of here. This place gives me the creeps." I catch him glancing back over his shoulder at a haggard-looking old man who is dressed in woman's clothing and is blowing kisses at him.

Climbing in his rental car, he turns the key in the ignition and pulls out onto the roadway. I close my eyes in a feeble effort to avert the lecture that is sure to follow. I'm a grown man but suddenly I feel as if I'm 5 years old again.

'Well, you're acting like it' my conscious once again taunts me.

For the next 15 minutes or so we drive in silence, except for the radio playing a steady stream of country music in the background. This alone is punishment enough for me. I quickly look over at him. His face is unreadable as he focuses on the GPS device that is leading us back to my house. Pulling into the driveway, he shuts off the engine before turning to face me. Here it comes …

"What the fuck is going on son?" I convince myself that he doesn't sound too angry. On a scale of 1 to 10 … maybe a 6 or 7?

"Your mother has been frantic with worry for you and for Bella. You do realize that she believes all that shit in the tabloids, don't you? Why haven't you called me? Perhaps I could have helped."

I shrug and squirm in my seat. "I'm sorry." I might as well apologize now and get it over with. "But you'd think by now mom would know not to believe everything she sees in print. You really didn't have to come all this way. I'm okay."

My dad frowns. "I seriously doubt that son." His hand moves to open the door handle. "Let's go inside." By the steely look of determination I see on his face, I know he isn't going to let this go so easily.

Pup is overjoyed to have a new set of hands to lick and feet to roll over and it's at least another 10 minutes before he calms down and passes out. It seems the affection is mutual as my dad continues to scratch his belly while he is sprawled out across his lap on the couch. As I make my way into the kitchen, I make a mental note to remember to thank Alice and Jasper for coming over last night and taking care of my dog. A thought suddenly occurs to me. What am I going to do with him when I'm away next weekend? Oh shit.

I know it's only 10:30 in the morning but after the night I've just experienced and the conversation I'm about to have, I grab a few beers from the fridge before taking a seat across from my dad. I'm floored when he takes one from me.

I quickly decide that the best defense is a good offense. "Look, I don't want to rehash all of the reasons why Bella filed for divorce. I know that I've messed up and haven't handled things very well. It's a poor excuse but I've been so focused on the band's new album. My marriage has taken a back seat when it should have been my #1 priority but that's going to change. Bella and I are in marriage counseling and I'm determined to do whatever it takes to get my wife back."

"I'm really glad to hear you say that Edward. You know how fond your mother and I are of Bella …" His voice trails and he appears to be uncomfortable. "There is something I need to tell you. It's something that I'm not particularly proud of but I think you should know. I love your mother very much …"

I have an uneasy feeling about this. "Dad …?"

Vigorously shaking his head, he raises his hand and gestures for me to stop speaking. "Do you remember your freshman year when you were away at college and your mother went to spend some time with your grandma in Phoenix?"

"Yeah, mom was helping grandma recover when she had pneumonia." Where is he going with this?

"Well … umm … that isn't exactly the truth." He stammers and pauses taking a deep breath.

"Mom didn't go to Phoenix or grandma didn't need her help?" I ask. Do I really want to know this?

"Yes to Phoenix and no to your grandma needing her help." His eyes dart over to mine. "Your grandma was the one taking care of your mom."

"I don't quite understand." I take a long swig of my beer.

"Your grandma was as healthy as a horse." Dad takes an equally long drink before blurting, "Your mother had left me."

I'm stunned. I don't know how to respond to this revelation.

"You see there was this young actress who had a bit part in an episode of the show …" He winces as if in pain. "She wasn't much older than you were and we really hit it off. This is no excuse but I was feeling a little insecure about myself at the time. Maybe I was having some sort of mid-life crisis, I don't know. But one evening after the show wrapped, a bunch of the cast went out for drinks. Afterwards I offered to take the young lady home …"

"Dad, I don't think…" I stop him. My chest is pounding. Dad was with another woman? Holy shit!

"Please let me finish." He insists. "I wasn't drunk and neither was she. We sat inside my car in her driveway for the longest time and just talked. I realized it was getting late and that I should leave but before I knew what I was doing, I was kissing her and she wasn't exactly stopping me." Dad pauses, lost in his memory. "The situation was quickly getting out of hand and that's when she asked me to come inside."

"Please tell me you didn't go." I start running my fingers through my hair. Oh poor mom!

"No, I didn't. Thankfully when we came up for air, I was able to think rationally again. I apologized for my inappropriate behavior and told her in no uncertain terms that it would never happen again." He glances over at me. "And then I drove home and confessed everything to your mother. That was the single hardest thing I've ever had to do, knowing how much I was going to hurt her."

"Why didn't I know any of this?" I suddenly feel sick to my stomach. "Why are you telling me now?"

"I think you know why, son." He finally looks me straight in the eye. "I made a mistake … a terrible mistake that nearly cost me your mother who is the love of my life. It forced me to do a lot of soul-searching. With the help of countless hours of counseling and brutal honesty with myself and her with me, we were able to work through it. And in many ways, we're stronger now than we were before. But it took a long time before I regained her trust. If you truly love your Bella as I love your mother, you'll be honest with her and yourself. Only then will you be able to patch up what's been broken."

"Our situation is different." I feebly explain. But is it really? "There has been some very strange things happening to me lately and then there is her so-called friend, who is always butting in."

"Ahh that would be the guy you beat up last night." He sarcastically says. Pup stirs in his lap but conks out again. "That wasn't the smartest thing to have done Edward. Bella seemed pretty upset with you."

"I know." I rub my sore hand as my cell phone starts to vibrate indicating that I have an incoming text.

My eyes shoot up in surprise when I see who it's from.

Message from Bella: 'Nice weather.'

~StN~

Bella

I am to blame for Jacob's broken nose and the cut over his eyebrow that required five stitches. I should have insisted that Alice take me home once I learned of her devious plan to get me inside the recording studio. It wasn't one of her better, crazy ideas.

'Oh no you don't girl!" My inner voice indignantly stomps her foot. 'Don't you dare make excuses for Edward! He and he alone is responsible for his actions … no one else!'

But no matter how I turn this around in my head, I still feel, at least partially responsible for Jake being hurt by my jealous and out-of-control, soon to be ex-husband. What the hell was Edward thinking anyway? This is definitely a subject we're going to have to address with Dr. Stanley this afternoon.

But first I have to call Banner and somehow convince him to send someone else to conduct the interviews and write the series of articles on the band while in Las Vegas this upcoming weekend. Earlier when Leigh had contacted me to advise me that this assignment was a go, she said Banner was practically beside himself with glee. Apparently both James and Edward had called him to offer the Seattle Times exclusive coverage of the rising juggernaut that is Bull Rant. When giving me the heads up, she hinted that it hadn't mattered much to James who actually covered the story but that Edward had insisted it had to be moi. I know that I'm facing an uphill battle with my boss.

"Banner." He barks on the first ring.

"Bella." I reply and take a deep breath before jumping into my prepared speech. "I respectfully request that you reassign someone else to do the series of articles on Bull Rant. I don't think …"

He cuts me off. "No, you don't think. I do and I say that either you handle this assignment or start looking for another job." Click. The line goes dead.

Damn you Edward Cullen!

Yet another matter to discuss with our esteemed counselor. My cell phone buzzes indicating I have an incoming text.

Message from Alice: "R U still upset with me?"

Am I? I should probably let her off the hook. After all, Alice was only being Alice and I know that her heart was in the right place. She is a helpless romantic and buys the whole, happily-ever-after bullshit. A part of me wishes that I still did too. But real life rarely works out that way. If I could push back the clock to when Edward and I made perfect sense and were happy, I would do it in a heartbeat. I miss our life together and the one we were planning.

I type my response. 'U R 4given. Don't interfere again.'

I know very well that she isn't capable of doing this but I have to say it just the same.

Message from Alice: 'OK – thanx. Can't wait for Vegas – FUN!'

I'm puzzled by her text as Vicky made it perfectly clear that both she and Rose are not welcome. Heck, she doesn't want me there either which is fine by me. Unfortunately, I don't have a choice in the matter. But it seems Alice has no intentions of obeying Vicky's orders. For that matter, I'm certain Rose isn't going to either. When have my friends ever backed down from anything once they've made up their minds? Never. And I really could use their moral support. Too bad for Vicky that her carefully construed itinerary isn't going to go off as she planned.

Message from Isabella: 'Vegas is WORK 4 me. Not FUN.'

Message from Alice: 'We will C about that. Gotta run bye.'

For the past three mornings, I've sent Edward the obligatory texts as I've been instructed but I've kept it light and impersonal. In turn, Edward called on Sunday and Monday night and again this morning after I sent my latest message. I've let all of his calls go to voice mail. I know I'm being immature but between his unprovoked assault on poor Jake and sticking his nose in my work where it doesn't belong, you might say that I'm a little put-out with him. And let's not forget his unwelcome sexual advances inside a public toilet. All right, I'll admit that wasn't entirely unwelcome. But his recent behavior confounds me. If its reconciliation that Edward wants, he is going about it all wrong. What I want and need from him are answers. Honest answers and I won't allow him back into my life with anything less. I will not let myself be swayed with his sweet love songs and promises of spectacular sex.

'Then maybe you need to be honest with him too.' My little voice shakes her pointy finger at me.

Grabbing my iPhone, I quickly retrieve my voice messages and listen to them again.

07/29/2012; 09:43 PM PST: "Yeah, nice weather. So either your phone is turned off or you're not taking my call. My dad just flew back to LA. I hadn't seen him in a long time. Thanks for calling him. Umm listen … I know I shouldn't have started that fight with Jacob but he … why the hell was he there anyways?" There is a long pause. "Well … good night."

07/30/2012; 10:02 PM PST: "I don't give a flying fuck that the Mariner's won last night's game against Kansas City 7-6. So you ARE ignoring my calls. I think Dr. Stanley would be very interested to know that while you are following her instructions, you are disregarding her intent. And that is … we're supposed to be communicating. Here – let me read you Webster's definition of the word, Communication: the act or process of transmitting information as about ideas, attitudes, emotions, or objective behavior; exchange of information between individuals through a common system of signs, symbols, or behavior; the function of pheromones in insect _communication_. Okay, the old boy must have been as high as a kite with that last part but you get my point, don't you? The clock is ticking and the ball, so to speak, is in your court. Think about it. G'nite Bella … sweet dreams of me."

As much as I wish I could turn off that particular switch inside my head, I cannot. Edward continues to star in all of my dreams and fantasies. He was especially amazing last night … hmm. A warm, tingling sensation echoes through my lower region, taunting and teasing me. If I have any chance of resisting Mr. Sex-on-Legs this afternoon, I'll need to take matters into my own hands, quite literally. Reaching into the nightstand drawer beside my bed, I remove my very dear friend. I flick on the switch and I'm comforted by the steady humming noises he makes as he springs to life. Lying back on my bed, my hand guides Barney lower and I surrender as he shows me some much needed lovin'.

Temporarily satiated, I remember there is one more voice message from Edward. This one is harder for me to ignore. I turn on the speakerphone and hit play.

07/31/2012; 08:26 AM PST: "Hey, it's me." There is a long pause and I can hear his slow, steady breathing in the background. "I wish there was a replay button I could hit so we could go back to the beginning … I took so much for granted believing that we'd always be together no matter what. I thought we were strong enough to deal with anything we were dealt … we almost had everything we dreamed of … including the family we were actively trying to make. God Bella, I miss you so much … I love you. I refuse to believe it's over between us. Please, won't you meet me half way?"

I press the replay button and listen to this last message over and over again before finally allowing my tears to flow. _I miss and love you too … _

~StN~

Edward and I are seated inside Dr. Stanley's office. Our chairs are facing each other but our bodies are not touching. I'm trying really hard not to make eye contact with him, as I don't feel particularly strong at the moment. I can feel Edward's eyes on me. We haven't spoken since entering the office and Jessica hasn't come inside yet either. I'm guessing she wants us to have some alone time before we get started.

Taking a deep breath, I exhale before quickly glancing up at him. Edward flashes me his shy, 'little boy' smile catching me completely off-guard and I can't help myself from smiling back. I have to remind myself that I am still upset with him. I glance at the door anxiously waiting for Jessica to join us.

"Hi Bella. It's good to see you. You look beautiful today." He says, breaking the ice first.

I frown at his comment, as I believe this to be highly unlikely. I am wearing a really old pair of faded, dark denim jeans that have a few authentic holes around the knees and the hem is severely frayed – another find from the second-hand clothing store. A thin, plain navy blue long-sleeved top along with my beat up sneakers completes my ensemble. My dark brown hair hangs loosely down my back.

"Thanks. So do you." I off-handedly reply. But in his case, it is true. Edward is gorgeous.

"But then again you always look good to me." His voice is low and husky.

He leans forward and boldly takes my hand in his and I can feel the electricity charging between us, drawing me closer to him. Oh no, no, no … I must not cave in. We're here to work on our issues, not to make out. I flinch and pull away.

Edward sits back in his chair and sighs, "I wonder what's keeping Jessica."

"She's probably taking more bets." I mumble. Edward gives me a puzzled expression, so I elaborate. "Jessica and her staff regularly bet on the outcome of her client's counseling as to whether the couple remains together or not."

For some reason, this causes Edward to laugh. "I can only guess the odds we've been given."

I love the sound of his laughter and I'm unable to stop myself from giggling along with him. We share an unexpected moment of camaraderie.

The door opens and Jessica briskly walks inside. She's carrying two thin circular strips of cardboard in her hand. Placing them on top of her desk, she then sits down. She smiles upon noticing the light mood between Edward and me.

"So how is the daily communication going?" She expectantly asks, sitting back in her chair with one hand resting on top of the other on her desktop. It seems that nothing gets past her as she catches Edward's expression briefly falter.

"Re-establishing daily communication wasn't an option. If you two aren't going to cooperate then I'll have to take more drastic measures. And don't think I won't do it." Her voice is stern and threatening.

What the hell can she possibly do? I have to suppress my urge to laugh again when a vision of her handcuffing us together suddenly pops into my head. Actually that is kind of hot and I find myself crossing and uncrossing my legs. Edward and I joined together …

Get a grip girl!

"Yes, of course we've been in contact daily." Edward reassures Jessica. He isn't going to rat on me after all. "In fact we had a great time together Saturday evening with mutual friends."

For once our counselor is rendered speechless. Her mouth drops open.

"Well I wouldn't exactly describe it that way." I shake my head and roll my eyes at him. "It was a pleasant evening until Edward decided to beat up one of my closest friends and then ended up having his ass thrown in jail because of it. Not to mention he sexually assaulted me in the restroom."

Jessica's eyes nearly pop out of her head. "Um … whoa." Her eyes bounce back and forth between Edward and I like a ping-pong ball. "Is this true Edward?"

"More or less although I wouldn't exactly describe it that way." He throws my words back at me with a humorous edge to his voice. "And I didn't exactly hear you complaining when you were sucking my face."

Jessica's hand shoots up as if she's holding a stop sign. "Sex is not a good idea at this point in your counseling. It's like putting a band-aid on a gaping wound when a tourniquet is required."

Now both Edward and I are the ones to gape at her, open-mouthed. No sex? Well that shouldn't be a problem.

My little voice starts laughing hysterically. 'If you say so!'

"This is perfect." Jessica excitedly gushes and hands us both the circular strips of cardboard. "We're going to do a little role-playing."

The cardboard are headbands with our names crudely written on them in crayon, no less. Did a 5 year old make them? Mine has 'Edward' written across the top and Edward's says 'Bella'.

You have got to be fucking kidding me! Are we in kindergarten?

"Put the headbands on your heads." Jessica orders. She waits until we reluctantly do this before continuing.

She addresses me first. "Bella, I want you to get inside Edward's head, so to speak. I am going to ask you a few questions and I want you to face Edward and try to answer them from his perspective … not yours. Do you understand?"

I find myself nodding, although I'm not entirely certain why this is necessary. What is she hoping to gain by my doing this? It seems rather stupid and pointless to me.

"So 'Edward', what made you so angry that you wanted to hurt Bella's friend?" Jessica asks me.

"Edward ridiculously assumes that Jake and I are lovers." I blurt out.

Jessica is vigorously shaking her head. "No, no, no … that is how YOU see it. How do you think Edward sees it?"

This is harder than I thought. I take a deep breath and exhale. How does Edward really feel about my friendship with Jake? I quickly glance over at Edward and it's plainly written on his face. How have I never seen this before? He's not masking his insecurity and another emotion I can't quite pinpoint very well … is it pain? I've always thought it was silly for him to be jealous of Jake and so I have discounted his feelings. After all if I wanted that type of relationship with Jake, I would have acted on it years ago. I never would have married Edward if I didn't love him and only him. Doesn't he know this?

I carefully choose my next words remembering I'm supposed to be Edward. _"My wife has a very special relationship with another man and I am threatened by it. I don't understand how they can be so close and not be sexually involved. I am not comfortable with it and so I lashed out at him."_ I say as Edward.

Jessica nods her approval and turns to Edward. "Please explain 'Bella' why you think it's ridiculous for Edward to believe that you are more than friends with this man."

Edward gives me a mischievous smile before answering. _"I suppose it's because my 'husband' is a spectacular lover and showers me with multiple orgasms on a regular basis. And also no other man could possibly love me as much as he does."_ He says pretending to be me.

His expression turns serious. "I love you Bella."

My heart melts. "What can I do to reassure you that Jake is not and has never been more than just a friend? What I feel for you is a 1000x more powerful. I love you Edward."

Edward reaches for my hand. "You just did."

"Wow." Jessica lifts her glasses and reaches for her Kleenex. "We're not finished yet."

She wipes the stray tear from her eye and blows her nose before addressing Edward yet again. "What led you to file for divorce 'Bella'?"

Still holding my hand, Edward closes his eyes briefly before looking into mine. _"There was sufficient evidence for me to believe that my 'husband' had stepped outside our marriage and was unfaithful. His explanations were lame at best and did little to reassure me. I had every reason to feel the way I did. I was at the end of my rope and felt I had no other choice."_ He says as me.

Edward squeezes my hand gently. "Do you think I was unhappy Bella?" He slowly shakes his head and answers his own question. "No I wasn't, I loved our life together. I swear I didn't cheat on you. I'm just as baffled about all of the so-called evidence as you are."

Edward seems to be sincere and I really want to believe him but my past is throwing up a roadblock so I remain quiet. I don't know what to say.

Jessica continues on with her little role-playing game and asks me, "How did you feel 'Edward' when confronted by your wife with evidence of your alleged infidelity."

"_I felt unjustly accused because I was innocent and I was angry that she didn't believe me. She treated me as if I had done something wrong so I deflected all the so called evidence and accused her of having an affair. Something I always wondered about."_ I say as him. I then remove my hands from his.

Edward turns away, his voice despondent. "It all comes down to trust, doesn't it? Either you trust me or you don't. I don't know what else I can do or say to convince you that I am telling you the truth. Why do you choose to believe the worst about me?"

"You say that you want Bella to trust you Edward. Let me ask you this, is there anything Bella should know but doesn't?" Jessica wisely intervenes. "Be honest. Tell her something that shows you want to earn her trust?"

Edward hesitates. "I was drugged the night the paparazzi took those pictures of me with that blonde all over me. I have no memory of it having happened. A blood and urine test has confirmed this. I can give you a copy of the lab results to prove it if you don't believe me."

I am stunned. No wonder Edward has hired a bodyguard. Who would do something like that? A crazed fan perhaps?

I shake my head. "That won't be necessary."

"Bella, it's only fair that you do the same. Is there anything Edward should know but doesn't?" Jessica looks at the clock on the wall. Our time is just about up. "Honesty and trust are the cornerstones of a good, solid relationship."

"I've been living in the house across the street from you." I blurt out and watch as Edward inhales sharply.

"Well, fuck me." He whispers under his breath. He then smirks and gives me a knowing look as if to say 'yeah right', it's definitely not over between us.

* * *

**A/N: So what do you think? Is honesty still the best policy? This chapter covered a lot but I think things are starting to look up, don't you? Of course, they still have quite a ways to go and they haven't exactly revealed everything to each other but it's two steps forward …**

**Okay – let me have it. I'm anxious for your comments. **


	13. Chapter 13

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns everything Twilight.**

**A/N: A quick shout of thanks to my amazing Beta T, Lovin Rob. Thanks M for the ride of a lifetime - 30 years together!**

**I love a good road trip, don't you?**

* * *

Chapter Thirteen

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." Unknown

Bella

Vicky is steaming. Literally. I swear it's pouring out of her mouth. And in my present state of exhaustion, I imagine she resembles a fire breathing dragon with her flaming red hair blowing in the breeze. This causes me to involuntarily chuckle to myself. Realistically I know it is only her warm breath mixed with the chilly dessert night air that is responsible. Standing outside next to the tour bus, she's shouting into her cell phone to some poor unfortunate person who is 'lucky' to have answered her call. Her assistant Bree is visibly shaking beside her. Standing in front of the bus is the driver, Emmett and Jasper. They are peering into the raised hood and shaking their heads.

So far this trip has been a total disaster. For starters we didn't leave Seattle until 10:45 pm, almost 3 hours later than we were supposed to have shoved off. It was one delay after another. At the Hive some of the band equipment couldn't be located. After an extensive search it was later inexplicably discovered inside a locked storage unit, that no one ever uses, down the hall from the rest of the equipment. Then Emmett and Jasper arrived with enough luggage to fill the Grand Canyon. Vicky held her tongue but eyed them with suspicion as they arranged and shoved it all into the limited compartments on the lower sides of the bus. But the most ominous sign was Riley holed up inside the bathroom refusing to come out. Everyone heard him moaning and crying that he was 'dying' as he alternated between wrenching the contents of his stomach violently into the sink and then emptying his ass into the toilet. When I suggested that perhaps the trip should be cancelled, Vicky practically took off my head and told me to 'fuck off'.

I smile at the memory. Bet you wish you listened to me now, bitch!

So now we're stranded on the side of the road, in the middle of the night with hours yet to go before we reach our final destination – Sin City, Las Vegas. Yeah! I reposition my body and rearrange my pillow and blanket trying to get as comfortable as I possibly can in my seat. I'm just about to close my eyes when Edward plops down in the empty seat beside me.

Shit! Can this night get any better?

"I think Vicky got a hold of a mechanic. Hopefully, he'll be here soon." He remarks as he tucks a loose strand of my hair away from my face and behind my ear.

"Too bad Jake isn't here." I thoughtlessly say before I realize I've said it. I can feel Edward stiffen.

"I mean, he's really good with his hands." Oh fuck! My brain is not functioning properly. "You know what I mean."

Surprisingly, Edward chuckles. "He'd have to be to keep that dinosaur of yours on the road. Say, how is it that I haven't seen it in the driveway across the street?"

Shit, shit!

"It finally died." I whisper. I miss my old truck something fierce.

"You bought another car?" Edward asks surprised.

Shit, shit, shit!

"Not exactly." I reluctantly say. "Jake gave me one of his fixer-uppers."

I glance up at Edward. Even in the dim light I can make out his shuteyes. He is slowly breathing in and out in an effort to calm himself. Jessica would be proud of him.

"But I plan on giving it back to him once I can afford to buy another car." I quickly add.

"When we get back, I'm taking you car shopping." His voice is firm.

"But …" I say.

"Please don't argue with me Bella." He warns. "In our divorce settlement you're entitled to half of everything anyway. Dammit, there is enough money to buy you a car ... several cars if you like. I need to know that you'll be safe." He reaches over for my hand.

I should be upset with him for being so bossy but strangely I'm not. It's reassuring to know that he still cares about me, regardless of our situation. I squeeze his hand and catch him smiling as the moonlight shines through the small window upon his handsome face. My eyelids are much too heavy and I can no longer keep them open. Finally I surrender to some much-needed sleep.

My eyes jolt open and try to adjust to the darkness that surrounds me. Where am I? I then remember that I am on a bus. It's moving again. The steady hum of the engine with its tires gently rolling across the highway had lulled me into a peaceful sleep. But now I am warm … too warm. That is what woke me. That and warm breath blowing intermittently down my neck and soft, facial scruff brushing against my collarbone clues me in that I am not alone. I lift my hand from underneath the blanket and pat the outline of Edwards jaw line. He stirs and his arms pull me closer.

Lifting my head slightly, my eyes peer around the perimeter of the bus. Vicky and Bree are directly behind the driver. Edward's bodyguard, Dave is across from them, next to the exit. A few rows behind Dave is Emmett and Jasper, each splayed over their own set of seats. A few rows behind us are Michele and Skip. At the very back of the bus, closest to the bathroom is Riley. It seems that everyone, except for the driver and myself are fast asleep.

I don't want to disturb Edward so I remain very still. After all I reason, he needs his rest especially with the concert and everything that Vicky has planned for the band tomorrow. Closing my eyes once again, I start drifting back to sleep when I feel Edward's hand cupping the outline of my breast. His thumb and index finger start to gently tweak my nipple forming it into a stiff peak. The feeling is beyond exquisite and it travels straight down to my groin.

Oh fuck!

My breath hitches and my heart starts to pound. I am filled with anticipation. What will he do next? Edward stirs beside me. Burying his face in my hair, he inhales and continues his expert handiwork to my nipple before moving to the other one. I'm now wide awake and fully aroused. His one hand travels to my head and he tugs on my hair, bringing my face to his and kisses me. I let out a quiet groan and he takes this opportunity to slip his tongue inside my mouth. Expertly, he strokes, probes and explores and I'm being swept away in this hot, carnal moment.

I cannot think coherently. I don't want to think at all.

We're all touch and feeling. I don't hesitate when he guides my hand underneath the blanket and over the outline of his manhood. Rhythmically I rub my palm over his pants. He gasps when my fingers start unbuttoning his jeans and I slide my hand into his boxer briefs. His skin feels hot and his cock is growing so fucking hard in my hand. Setting him free, I pull him out and firmly glide my hand up and down his shaft a few times before squeezing his knob and spreading his juices.

"Bella …?" He whispers quietly.

"Shh … let's not wake anyone up." I mouth and nip his ear.

He raises the armrest between us and I scoot down so that my knees are curled up on my seat with my ass propped sideways in the air towards the window and my head falls into his lap, I dart underneath the blanket and part my lips before deliberately latching onto his impressive cock. I wish I could watch Edward's face to see if he's enjoying this as much as I am. But it's his hands that reassure me he is as he repeatedly guides the sides of my head up and down while he flexes his hips. I suck him hard and run my tongue over his tip. His breathing accelerates and a low grown escapes from his throat. I can feel how very close he is to his climax.

"Up … I'm gonna cum." He quietly warns. He tries to lift my head but I won't let him.

With renewed vigor, I take him in even deeper, sheathing my teeth with my lips and twirling my tongue around his tip over and over again. Surrendering, he flexes a few more times before convulsing and shooting his warm, sticky ejaculate down the back of my throat. I swallow all evidence before releasing him and removing my head from underneath the blanket.

Edward tucks himself back into his boxer-briefs and buttons his jeans before reaching for me. He repositions the blanket over us and we snuggle and continue to kiss. His hand slides underneath my shirt and pulls out my breast from my bra cup. His fingers stretch and tweak my nipples and I am moaning into his mouth.

Shaking his head slowly, he teases me. "Dr. Stanley said no sex. I think we might be in trouble."

"Who had sex?" I whisper. "Oral doesn't count. I believe even the President of the United States once said so."

Edward chuckles softly. "Well in that case …"

Releasing me from his embrace, he stands us both up and swiftly unzips my jeans before lowering them down to my ankles along with my panties. I am completely naked from the waist down.

He guides me onto my back and across the row of seats so that my head rests on my pillow closest to the aisle. He then kneels on the floor beside the window and repositions the blanket over my nakedness.

"Oh fuck, Edward!" I softly moan. I can't believe this is happening. It's so fucking hot!

The sound of someone loudly snoring in the background reminds us we are not alone.

"Shh … try to keep quiet, baby. I'm gonna take care of you now." He promises. I practically cum just hearing him speak.

He buries his face underneath the blanket and I can't help but squirm. This is so wickedly naughty. Starting at my belly button he slowly licks nips and darts his tongue inside before continuing on his path south. With his left hand he massages my breast and nipple while his right spreads apart my lips. With only his thumb, he repeatedly circles my clit in just the right spot and inserts his index and middle finger inside my vagina, rubbing it against the tender area of my wall.

"You're so wet baby." He says appreciatively. "God, I want to be inside of you."

I stifle a cry by biting on my hand. It's been too long and I'm building fast. Next thing I know his mouth is right there, blowing on my clit and I practically convulse right then and there. His nose presses into my pubic hair as the tip of his tongue makes a circular pattern over my nub. My hands grip the back of the seat as I brace myself for the explosion that is sure to follow. All I'm able to concentrate on is that glorious feeling between my thighs. He continues and intensifies his ministrations until I can no longer control myself and I'm spiraling and freefalling into an intensely powerful and pleasurable orgasm.

"Aargh!" I cry out, unable to suppress my voice.

Edward lifts my legs and helps slide my panties and jeans up and over my hips. I take my seat next to the window. Edward leans into me and grabs my hand.

"This doesn't mean we're getting back together." I tell him. "I think it was a moment of weakness for both of us."

Pulling me closer, he wraps his arm around me. "Whatever you say."

Both Edward and I inhale sharply when we hear snickers coming from the back of the bus. It's highly doubtful that either Skip or Michele would be laughing if they overheard our conversation or possibly worse. That only leaves one other person. OMG! Were we that loud? I'm too embarrassed to turn around and find out but Edward isn't.

"You two are utterly pathetic." Riley mumbles.

"Shut the fuck up." Edward replies in a low, controlled voice.

"It's so obvious to everyone present that you two are still crazy about each other. Life is way too short to be playing fucking mind games. I can say this now with absolute certainty because I am fucking DYING!" Riley laments loudly.

I turn around and catch his shadow running into the bathroom. He slams the door shut. The violent heaving and retching that follows causes the entire bus to waken.

Always one to get in the last word, Edward yells back, "Well then hurry up and be done with it already!"

A few of the overhead lights flicker on. One by one, heads start turning in our direction. While rubbing their eyes as if in disbelief, they openly gawk at us. You would think that they never saw two people in each other's arms before!

"Bella was cold." Edward explains to no one in particular. Releasing me, he heads back to his original seat.

"Yeah, I'll bet she was." Emmett laughs knowingly. "Good one!"

Inwardly I cringe and turn my attention to the passing scenery as dawn breaks in the horizon. I shiver feeling a chill come over me and reach for my blanket.

What the hell have I done?

~StN~

Edward

What the hell have I done?

I spend the remainder of our road trip blindly staring out the window replaying what just happened between Bella and me. I have so many questions that have no answers. The sex was mind-blowing. And yes Bella baby, oral is definitely considered sex. It was incredible and completely unexpected.

'Completely unexpected?' My conscience raises an eyebrow. 'Really?'

'Yes, really!' I snap back.

While I was hoping that Bella and I might somehow hook up while in Vegas, never in my wildest dreams did I think it would happen before we arrived and in the bus with others present. Crazy! But then again, Bella always loved spontaneity both in and out of the bedroom. She never ceases to amaze me. That is one of the many things that I love about her.

But alas, sex is only one of the many things I want to share with her again. I want my smart, witty, fun-loving and always challenging wife back. I want our life back … the wonderful one we had before it all inexplicably unraveled. I really hope that by indulging in a little something, something with her, I haven't messed up things too badly. Although it seemed to me that Bella needed me every bit as much as I needed her. I wonder if she's regretting it now.

I check my watch as we pull into the parking lot of the MGM Grand Hotel and Casino. It's almost 7:30 am. I had hoped that we'd be staying at the Bellagio – the hotel where Bella and I spent our first night as husband and wife. But being that we were added to the concert line-up on such short notice, Vicky was lucky to have secured the large, spacious sky loft suite on the top floor. It wasn't until check-in that my band mates and I learned that we had to share it. Vicky also made reservations for everyone else … everyone that is, except for Bella. And apparently the Seattle Times had forgotten about her as well. Standing behind the nearby marble pillar trying to appear inconspicuous, I listen as Bella tries to get a room. Dave is hovering a few feet away trying to do the same as me. He's failing miserably.

"Surely, you have to have something available?" Her voice pleads. I can tell that she is upset. "This place is humongous."

The meticulously groomed woman at the front desk is furiously searching her computer and shaking her head. "No, I'm sorry ma'am, there isn't. There are ten conventions here this week, not to mention the rock concert at the Dome Center. You really should have made reservations weeks ago. But I can check a few of the other hotels to see if there are any vacancies, if you like."

Bella audibly sighs. "I really do need to be here but yes, please check thank you."

No, no, no … she can't stay somewhere else. I really need her to be here … with me. I quickly come up with a plan and head over in her direction.

"Hi" I say nonchalantly. "Is everything all right?"

"They don't have a reservation for me and there aren't any rooms available." She is trying to mask her rising panic.

"I'm staying in a sky loft suite. Why don't you stay with me?" I watch as her mouth drops open. "It's obscenely large and I'm sharing it with the boys. It'd be the perfect place for you to observe and conduct your interviews with the band."

"Edward, I can't do that." She stammers. "It wouldn't be right."

"Why? Technically, we are still married." I remind her. I then flash her one of my panty-poofing smiles that always worked for me in the past.

She leans over and whispers, "No sex, remember?"

Grinning at her salaciously, I playfully whisper back, "That's a rather moot point now, don't you think?"

"We made a mistake earlier Edward. It never should have happened." She turns away from me.

Oh no! I was afraid of this. She's pulling away from me in more ways than one. Quickly I concede, "Hell, I'll even sleep on the couch. You can have the bedroom."

The front desk attendant puts down the phone and looks up. When she recognizes me, she is instantly flustered. She swallows before speaking, "I'm sorry ma'am but there aren't any rooms available at the other hotels either. Maybe you can check with some of the smaller motels outside the city limits."

Bella swings around and says, "If the offer still stands, I'd like to take you up on it. But don't you get any ideas. It's the couch for you mister."

When I reach down for her bag, she lightly touches my arm. "Thank you Edward." She whispers.

"My pleasure Bella." I wink at her and laugh when she playfully swats my shoulder.

I address the now stunned attendant, "We'll be needing another keycard for Sky loft #3."

Vicky is fast approaching in my direction with Bree on her tail and damn it she catches up to me before I make it to the elevator with Bella and Dave. Her attitude is all business as she alternates between snapping at her assistant and talking on her cell phone. Clearly she is in her element. This is what Vicky does best. Oddly I find it reassuring to know that Bull Rant is in her very capable hands.

'Straight to the top' has been Vicky's mantra and under her skillful guidance, I've no doubt that is where the band is headed.

"Oh thank God! There you are Edward! Why haven't you answered my calls?" Without coming up for air, she continues. "Never mind, come with me. I've set up interviews with some major news outlets for the band and it starts in 15 minutes." Vicky pries Bella's bag off of my arm and tries to drag me away.

"Wait a second. Tell me where it is and I'll be there." I say digging my heels in and slinging the bag back over my shoulder. "I'm going to get Bella settled into her room."

"Bella, you are a big girl. I'm certain you can do that yourself." Vicky glares at her. "This is exactly why I didn't want any distractions!"

When I don't budge, she then huffs, "Fine, have it your way. We're set up in conference room 329, 3rd floor. Don't you dare be fucking late!" She turns to Bella with a frosty glare.

"I'm surprised that you were able to find a room Bella." Vicky snidely comments. "You wouldn't believe the strings I had to pull in order to get the rooms that I did."

"Maybe you were just lucky." Bella replies sweetly. I'm impressed with the way she in handling herself.

"Luck had nothing to do with it." Vicky snaps back. "In this life you have to make your own luck. Otherwise it's all just a fucking gamble."

Giving Bella a knowing smile, I take hold of her hand and lead her towards the elevator. I casually glance over my shoulder and off-handedly remark to Vicky who is still standing there. "Bella will be staying with me."

Vicky's mouth drops open and she shakes her head before storming off in the opposite direction. Bree momentarily lingers and smiles warmly at us before running to catch up to her employer. For whatever reason, she seems to find this amusing.

The sky loft is spacious and ultra-modern. The contemporary furnishings alternate between white, gray and black with a splash of red thrown in here and there. A stocked bar aligned with padded metal stools and three big screen TV's is closest to the entryway. A long, sleek black dining table with a vase filled with fresh-cut flowers and eight chairs is at the opposite end. In the center of the great room is the biggest couch that I have ever seen. It faces the exterior wall that sports 20' high, floor-to-ceiling windows and runs the entire length of the magnificent room. The view of the city below is utterly spectacular.

Each of the 4 bedrooms contains its own ensuite bathroom that is equally as impressive. My bags are already inside my bedroom. Dropping Bella's bag to the ground, I sigh. We are both staring at the plush king-size bed and I wonder if she is thinking the same thing I am. It's large enough that we could both sleep on it and never find each other! On the other hand, it would make a lovely playground to roll around in. Out of the corner of my eye I gaze over at her beautiful face and find that she is blushing.

Fuck! She IS thinking what I'm thinking.

"This is your room. I should be the one to sleep on the couch. It looks really comfortable." She sighs, looking away from the bed.

There is no way in hell that I'm going to let her do that.

"Oh no, we had a deal remember? Unless you want to renegotiate … wife?" I take a step closer and I'm amused when she takes a step back.

She is wagging her finger and shaking her head. The always-present current sparks between us. Suddenly I can no longer deny what I am feeling for her. I turn and wrap my arms around her tiny waist and pull her close to me. Before she can protest my face lowers and my mouth touches her soft lips. She hesitates for a nanosecond before her hands reach up and coil around the back of my neck as she deepens our kiss. Our tongues are savagely moving together. A hearty moan escapes from deep within my throat as my hand gently glides along her lower back and squeezes her shapely ass. I have no doubt she knows how much I want her when I start pressing my hips and erection against her body.

Trying to catch her breath, Bella pulls back and escapes my embrace. "Edward, we can't do this." Her lips are saying 'no' but her eyes say otherwise. "Sex is not going to make our problems disappear. It'll just complicate matters more."

"You are thinking way too much." My heart is beating fast in my chest. "I. Love. You. I. Need. You. It doesn't get any simpler than that."

She slowly shakes her head. "It's not that I don't love you Edward, I do. Please don't tempt me. It's been too long."

"Far too long baby but don't worry, if you don't want me, I'll behave myself." My cock stirs and protests. "Of course, should you change your mind …"?

Closing her eyes, she wears a pained expression as she inhales deeply and exhales slowly, trying to calm herself.

My cell phone starts vibrating. It's Vicky and I quickly read her text. 'Get your sweet ass down here right NOW!'

I offer Bella my hand. "Come with me. Being there should help you considerably when writing your own articles." She cannot possibly argue with my logical reasoning.

"All right." She takes my hand.

My conscience pats himself on the back, 'brilliant move Edward'.

"Is Dave staying in the suite too?" She whispers to me as we enter the great room where he is standing near the bar waiting.

"No, he and Skip are sharing a room on the 12th floor." I explain, my voice low. "Whenever I need him to accompany me someplace, all I have to do is text him."

With her hand firmly in mine, I smile at her as we exit. Our third wheel dutifully follows and awkwardly stands behind us as we wait for the elevator doors to open. Why am I not surprised in the least that when they finally do, Alice and Rose step out? But by the looks on their faces and their inability to speak, they are surprised. Stunned actually. Especially when they see that we are holding hands. Immediately, Bella drops my hand and gives them a quick wave before we dart inside the elevator and the doors shut.

Taking my seat at the rectangular table set up inside the conference room, I glance over to my right at Emmett and Jasper and smirk at them. Covering the microphone with my hand, I lean over and say, "Your packages have arrived."

Emmett gives a knowing smile and leans back in his chair. "It seems that yours has too." He waves over at Bella who is sitting amongst the press.

Seated to my left is Riley and it's so obvious that he is still sick. He looks pale and drawn. I feel a pang of concern for my friend. He shouldn't be here. I hope I don't get what he has.

"Are you all right man?" I whisper.

Riley moans right into the microphone. "Fuck no! Fuck Vicky!" I think he's going to puke so I move my chair further away from him.

His voice amplifies throughout the room. The 40 or so journalists and photographers seated in front of us start to chuckle at Riley's expletive towards our manager and start scribbling on their notepads. The cameras click furiously. Vicky is standing off to the side, pretending to be unfazed by Riley's outburst but I know better.

Yeah, I love doing interviews. They provide lots of sound bites for the fiends to dissect and obsess over. But usually I'm the one that inserts my foot in my mouth.

Vicky takes center stage. "As you all know, Bull Rant has been asked to fill in for High Anxiety at the rock concert today. Our thoughts and prayers go out to Dylan Walker for a full and speedy recovery. But as they say … the show must go on. We're thrilled and humbled to be here amongst the impressive line-up of today's best and most talented musicians. Bull Rant's next album will be released in December and they just might have a surprise in store for their fans later on. So … it is with great pleasure that I turn the floor over to Bull Rant … Riley, Edward, Emmett and Jasper!

Returning to her corner of the room, she seems really pleased with herself as a torrent of voices rise and clamor, excitedly hoping to have their questions answered first. Hands are waving furiously and camera's flash brightly.

"Edward, over here!" The chorus starts chanting.

"Edward!"

"Edward!"

Well, this is rather uncomfortable. There are three other band members after all. I recognize one face and nod my head in his direction.

"Is it true that you're here in Nevada to get a quick divorce?"

I cannot believe he asked me that. I run my hand through my hair and squirm in my seat. How best to answer such a ridiculous question?

I laugh. "I'm in Vegas to win big … blackjack, roulette, slot machines … anything to help satisfy my gambling addiction."

The other journalists jump on the bandwagon and start shouting over each other in quick rapid-fire succession, questions directed towards me and only me. Oh shit!

"Edward! Care to comments on the rumors that say you are already engaged?"

"Edward! Is it true you are quitting Bull Rant to go solo?"

"Will you be getting married here in Las Vegas this weekend after the quick divorce?"

You have got to be fucking kidding me! My eyes dart over to Vicky pleading with her to intervene. She is on her way but not fast enough to stop the barrage of ludicrous questions being flung at me.

"Edward! A source has leaked that you spent some time in a jail cell last weekend for drunkenness and lewd sexual acts in a public parking lot …"

"Edward! Tell us why did you force your estranged wife to terminate her pregnancy?"

Vicky grabs hold of a microphone. "Please … the band will be happy to discuss anything work related. Please remember that Riley, Emmett and Jasper are here as well.

There is a rising commotion within the audience.

"Hey, she's right over here!"

"It's Edward's wife - Isabella Swan!" A journalist yells and points at Bella who is cowering in her seat.

"Isabella, would you care to make a statement?"

"Isabella, tell us why are you here? Have you and Edward reconciled?"

I'm horrified when, one by one, they flurry and start to surround Bella, essentially trapping her. She is totally exposed and vulnerable. I catch sight of her terrified face. This has gotten completely out of hand. I have to stop this now!

My chair flies back as I jump and push my way through the small crowd. Throwing my arm protectively around my wife's shoulder, she clings to me as camera's flash in our faces and blind us both. When I'm suddenly shoved forward, my free arm takes a wild swing and my fist strikes a cameraman. He falls to the ground. Next thing I know Dave and several other security guards are pulling us out from the chaos and pushing everyone back so we can pass.

Once safely outside I feel Bella trembling. She seems so small and fragile. I wrap my arms around her and hold her tight until she starts to calm down. Even then I don't let go of her.

Damn those fuckers! I've no doubt we'll be making the headlines after all. Vicky's words echo in my mind …

"_Any publicity is good publicity as longs as it keeps you in the public's eye."_

No it's not!

Not when it hurts the one you love. Where do you draw the line?

* * *

**A/N: Hmm … lots happening. I really don't know what to say about this chapter so I'll open it up to you guys.**

**So … please feel free to leave me your thoughts, comments or questions in the form of a review. I love hearing from you! xC**


	14. Chapter 14

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns everything Twilight.**

**A/N: A shout of heartfelt thanks to my Beta T, Lovin Rob. I love you girl! **

**So the trip to Vegas hasn't exactly gone very well so far, has it? It can only get better though, right?**

* * *

Chapter Fourteen

"The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life." Oscar Wilde

Bella

"Bella are you all right baby?" I'm clinging tightly to Edward, reassured by the sound of his soothing voice. "Say something … anything."

"I'm fine." My voice sounds shaky and unconvincing.

That has to have been one of the most appalling spectacles I've ever witnessed. I'm ashamed to include myself in the same profession as the vultures that descended over Edward and me in the conference room. The ones who were shouting inappropriate and outrageous personal questions couldn't possibly have been legitimate journalists. It was sensationalized tabloid reporting at its worst. Everything they flung at Edward was made-up shit. None of it was true. At least I hope not.

'It's time for a reality check girl. Don't you dare go there!' My inner voice warns. 'You know that Edward is not here for a 'quickie' divorce and he most certainly is not engaged.'

A shred of doubt suddenly pops in my head. What about the blonde in the Internet photos? And who the fuck is 'T'? This is something I need to know. Sooner rather than later.

'Stop it' my inner voice shouts. 'He's still wearing his wedding ring and he's made it very clear that he wants YOU back in his life.'

Was the 'terminated pregnancy' question just meant to provoke some sort of reaction out of Edward? Or had someone gotten hold of my medical records? While it was absolutely untrue, it still was incredibly hurtful to me.

From the moment I told him that I was ready, Edward and I had made baby-making our top priority. We barely left our bedroom and made love morning, noon and night. After my period was late a home pregnancy test indicated that I was indeed pregnant. We were ecstatic but soon something went terribly wrong. My doctor reassured me that miscarriages are fairly common in the early stages of pregnancy and that it didn't necessarily mean it would happen again the next time. I was devastated. Edward wanted to immediately start trying again but I was reluctant. That is when red flags emerged and I began questioning my husband's commitment to our marriage. I can't imagine being pregnant and going through a divorce at the same time.

The closest one of the so-called journalists came to actual truth was when they asked Edward about his having been in jail. How did they discover that? Maybe it's simply a matter of public record. After all, he is a celebrity. But if that's the case, why hadn't they found out the real reason he had been there?

'Perhaps it's because Jake refused to press charges.' My voice of reason suggests. _Thank you Jake!_

One thing is for sure, the press is going to have a field day speculating and spinning what transpired today. Not to mention the pictures of Edward hitting the photographer that will be splashed all over the Internet.

Edward pulls back slightly and looks at me intently. "I'm sorry you had to be there for that. You know its all bullshit, right?"

"Yes." I say with renewed certainty.

"Let's get the hell out of here."

Spotting Bree in the hallway, he takes hold of my hand and leads me in her direction. Closing her phone, Bree appears both surprised and flustered to see us standing in front of her.

"Can I help you with something?" She stammers, blushing profusely under the intensity of Edward's stunning beauty and I feel a sudden pang of sympathy for her. Few women can withstand his natural charisma.

"I'd like to borrow your rental car." Edward says. "I'm assuming that you have one being as Vicky is always sending you off to run errands for her. We won't be long. I just need to get away from this madness for a little while."

"I don't know if …" She hesitates and looks nervously down the hall. There are a handful of security guards talking with Dave outside the conference room. No sign of Vicky – yet.

Bree's phone buzzes and she quickly reads the text message. Her eyes widening, she slowly shakes her head and takes a deep breath. Reaching into her pocket, she hands Edward the car keys.

"Here … take them … hurry up and go." She gives us a small smile and adds, "Just so you know, I'm rooting for you two."

"Thank you. You're an absolute angel, Bree." Edward exclaims as he places the keys in his pocket.

He then whips out his phone and fires a quick text message. Dave looks up and gives Edward a nod after reading the text on his phone.

"What did you tell him?" I ask as he leads us down the hallway and over to the escalators towards the main lobby. "Why isn't he following us?"

Giving me a side-ways glance, he chuckles, "I sort of told him I was taking you upstairs to have my wicked way with you and to take five."

"You didn't!" I feign a shocked expression and tug on his hand. "Five minutes. Really? Is that all I get?" I mockingly add.

"Trust me baby, when you come sneaking into my bedroom tonight you will get more than five minutes… and when you do, it won't be to sleep." He says darkly, his voice confident.

"You wish." I quip.

But his carnal promise resonates deep inside of me … all the way down there. Am I really that transparent? More importantly, do I have the strength to stay away from him when he'll be so close by?

'Only if you're knocked unconscious by a passing bus.' My inner voice laughs and mocks me.

'We'll just see about that!' I haughtily say to myself, tossing my hair back over my shoulder.

"Yeah, I do." He grins and squeezes my hand gently as we briskly walk out the main entrance, undetected. He directs us towards the parking lot.

The sun beating down on us is already a scorching 105 degrees and there isn't a cloud in the mid-morning sky to provide us any relief. By the time we've walked up and down the third row of cars, I am drenched in sweat. I glance over at Edward and shake my head. Only he could look as amazing as he does with damp hair clinging to his forehead. The tag on the key chain has us searching for a silver 2012 Ford Focus. As we continue walking he periodically presses the green button on the key ring. It's with immense relief when I finally hear the ping of a door unlocking. Before entering we open the doors wide to release the fire within and then slide inside. Edward starts the car and turns on the air-conditioning full blast.

"So where are we going?" I turn to face him and excitedly ask. I adjust the vent so that the cool air directly hits my face.

If I'm being honest with myself, I have to admit that I'm glad to be with Edward – alone, just the two of us. When was the last time we were this impulsive and threw caution to the wind?

'Hmm … how about last night on the bus.' My inner voice jumps up and down with the possibility of a repeat performance.

'That won't happen again.' I silently vow to myself, disregarding the snickering voice inside my head.

"How about we do the 'tourist' thing? He suggests, raising an eyebrow. "After all the last time we were in Vegas we didn't exactly get out very much, now did we?"

I blush at the memory of our all too-short honeymoon though I'm fairly certain I could recount every minute that we spent together.

"What about the concert Edward?" I remind him. "I'm certain Vicky has plans before …"

"Fuck Vicky." He says with an amused expression. "I don't want any part of them, especially after the fiasco we just narrowly escaped. Anyhow the concert doesn't start until this evening so we have plenty of time." As if on cue, his cell phone starts vibrating. "I'm turning this thing off."

No sooner does he put his phone away when my phone starts ringing. I glance down at the screen. "Shit Edward, its Vicky. Should I answer it?"

"Not on your life." Giving me a conspiratorial grin, he snatches my phone away from me and shuts it off. "You won't need it today baby. See? That was easy. Problem solved."

If only all our problems were that easy to fix. As Edward pulls onto the main strip, I'm reminded of the last time we were here and had a situation we were desperate to resolve. It too, had been an impulsive, spur-of-the-moment decision. But one that I knew in my heart of hearts was the right one for me as I believed beyond a shadow of doubt that Edward was the love of my life and that we were meant to be together … until death do us part.

**Fifteen months and three weeks earlier …**

Inside the lobby of the Bellagio Hotel, our friends surround Edward and me. Holding onto each other tightly with our lips locked, I am euphoric. My happiness knows no bounds. This oh-so handsome, incredibly sweet, smart, witty, talented and uber-sexy man is about to whisk me away and make me his wife. Edward is my very own personal Prince Charming. But not even in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine that I'd actually be getting married in Las Vegas of all places.

Since I was a little girl I always envisioned my wedding as being small but elegant and traditional. Holding onto my father's arm I'd be led down the aisle. The church organ would boldly be playing Wagner's Wedding March and my perfect groom would be waiting for me at the altar. But that fantasy was essentially shattered when Edward called Charlie to ask for my hand and he stubbornly refused to give us his blessing. My dad said a lot of other things too … things that I'm sure he didn't mean. At least I hope he didn't. Undeterred from marrying the man of my dreams and in spite of my father's misgivings, I off-handedly remarked that we should simply run off and elope; a suggestion that Edward enthusiastically embraced.

A few phone calls later, we found ourselves sitting on a plane with our closest friends. While Alice was very happy for us and rambling numerous ideas for our imminent nuptials, Rose was a different story. Before boarding the plane, Rose cornered me inside the bathroom to let me know that she thought I was making the biggest mistake of my life and to wake up. With a smug face she went on to say that it was her duty as my best friend to warn me that Edward is the type of guy you have a 'fling' with, not marry and that he would end up hurting me. Ouch! Her lack of support is what hurt me the most. And for once I stood up to her and told her that she was dead wrong about Edward and to either shut the fuck up or don't get on the plane. A small, knowing smile spread across her face and she shook her head and threw up her hands in defeat. She didn't say another word after boarding the plane.

During the flight Jasper was quieter than normal and kept shooting questioning glances in our direction while Emmett enthusiastically discussed his strategy in winning big at the blackjack and poker tables. Edward and I were immersed in our own little world. We cuddled closely and kissed often.

A few hours later Alice stands glowering next to me having been unsuccessful in convincing me to wear the white feathery designer frock that she's brought 'just in case' Jasper were to pop the question. It is a hideous looking thing that in my opinion more resembles a molting cockatoo than a wedding dress. I'd sooner get married stark naked! Now there's an idea …

Suddenly Rose spots Emmett running in our direction. When he finally catches up to us, he is out of breath and appears to be agitated about something.

"I was starting to worry. Are we good to go?" Edward asks him. Emmett nervously shuffles on his feet. "Spit it out Emmett."

"There is just one small, teensy-weensy, little problem …" He uncomfortably looks away.

Edward blanches and inhales sharply. "What the hell Emmett? Please tell me that we're good to go … that the ceremony at the Hard Rock Chapel is all set."

"Um … well, see I thought it was kind of strange when I was able to make the reservation on line so easily." Emmett pauses and looks quickly over at Edward before staring back down at his feet. "Especially since their home page strongly recommends reservations a month in advance but I thought I got lucky." He sighs and shifts from one foot to the next before finally looking up "I reserved the right month and day but put in the wrong year."

"FUCK EMMETT!" Edward yells loudly, pulling on his hair. "I knew I should have handled this myself." Several of the hotel guests in the lobby take notice of his outburst.

"Hey chill out. If you can wait 2 weeks they can squeeze you in then." Emmett nervously swallows.

Jasper chuckles in the background. "It's a sign man."

"Shut up Jas! We're doing this right now … tonight!" Edward closes his eyes and takes a deep breath to try and calm himself down. "It's Vegas after all. There are more places to get married than prostitutes out on the street corners! We'll just find another place." He exhales slowly.

"Well …" Emmett grimaces and continues. "I've called every goddamn one and they're all booked solid tonight. It must be a full moon or something … but we're on stand-by with two chapels that said they'll call if someone gets cold feet."

I gently put my hand on Edward's arm. "We can wait Edward. There is no rush. It's just a piece of paper and in my heart you are already my husband."

Standing on my tiptoes I reach up and kiss him proper. I hear sniffling in the background. When we've finished swapping saliva, Alice is dabbing the corner of her eye and handing Emmett a tissue. Even Jasper and Rose seem to be somewhat moved by our tender moment.

"Aw … no, this isn't right!" Emmett exclaims. "You two ARE getting married tonight even if I have to call every single minister in the phone book! He then opens his iPhone and starts googling 'Las Vegas weddings'.

"Maybe Jasper is right." Rose chimes in. "Marriage isn't something you rush into."

"I agree but I'm 100% sure about Edward." I kiss him once again. "I see no reason to wait."

"I love you." Edward whispers in my ear.

"BINGO!" Emmett pumps his fist in the air. "Why don't you all go wait in the lounge while I make this call."

Half an hour and several drinks later, the mood of our small group has lightened considerably and Edward and I are relaxed. My ass is draped on top of his lap and his fingers have been steadily working their way up my inner thigh. He's making his intentions quite obvious. I'm equally as enthralled with him. Just when we're about to excuse ourselves and head back to our room to continue with our lascivious intentions, Emmett struts into the bar wearing a shit-faced grin.

"I ask you, 'who's the man?'" Emmett chuckles. "Can you hear those wedding bells? We're all set man."

Alice jumps out off the barstool and claps her hands. "Oh goody!" She asks Emmett, "Is there time for Bella to change into something more appropriate?"

"Nope." Emmett winks at me. "We should get going so that Edward can start removing her clothes himself." I blush, as I really like his idea.

"Let's go get hitched Miss Swan." Edward announces and lowers me off of his lap. He gently cups and squeezes my ass. "To be continued baby." He murmurs.

The effects of the two drinks I've just downed in quick succession are starting to hit me, as I haven't eaten all day – not even the packet of pretzels on the plane. He smiles seeing as I'm unsteady on my feet and places his arm securely around my waist leading us both out.

"Promises, promises …" I off-handedly mutter.

"Wedding or bedroom? Your choice." He laughs.

"I choose both." I playfully rub my hand over the front of his jeans.

Lifting my hand off of his manhood he kisses each of my fingers lightly. "Good." He grasps my hand firmly in his. "Later I promise."

Emmett leads our small group outside the hotel and over to the sidewalk. We dutifully follow him down Las Vegas Boulevard. Flashing neon signs on both sides of the road illuminate the twilight sky and beckon us inside the many stores and clubs that we pass. I'm thankful to be wearing my old comfy sneakers and glance over at Alice struggling in her outrageously high pumps and give her a big ass smile. She sticks her tongue out at me. It's another 3 blocks before Emmett suddenly comes to a stop on the corner of Sahara Avenue. He doesn't move but starts looking up and down both sides of the road searching for something.

"Why are we standing on a street corner Emmett?" Edward asks with rising apprehension. "What the hell is going on?"

No sooner does Edward ask this question when a very strange looking VW bus comes barreling down the street and narrowly misses us before coming to an abrupt halt at the curb. Strange is an understatement though. This van is in even worse shape than my old truck and that is really saying something. Its dinged rusted body has white lace glued over silver primer with a homemade sign that says 'I've Got You Babe so now The Beat Goes On, Weddings on the Go' affixed to one side.

You have got to be fucking kidding me!

A frail old man and woman both throw back hippies from another era, slowly remove their arthritic bodies from their decrepit vehicle. The woman has long, stringy, thinning gray hair that probably hasn't been washed in weeks and what little hair the man has left is located in his bushy white beard. Wearing weathered leather vests with beads and feathers, faded ripped jeans and worn sandals, they are a sight to behold.

"Peace man. I'm Sonny." Grandpa smiles revealing only a few teeth left in his mouth. "Do you believe in magic? Believe in the magic of a young girl's soul? Believe in the magic of rock 'n roll? Believe in the magic that can set you free?" He asks us all. We are all staring opened mouthed at him.

"You must be the bride." He focuses his attention on Alice who cowers against Jasper.

His partner reaches for Jasper's arm. "And I'm Cher. Love is a friendship set to music. Love is all you need. Such a handsome man … you must be the groom."

Jasper throws his hands up and steps back. "Um … nope. Guess again." He points over at Edward and me. "I think we've just entered the Twilight zone." He says with a chuckle.

"Cool duds man." Sonny eyes my clothes with longing. "You must be the change you wish to see in the world."

"If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem." Cher says, her eyes drifting up to the sky."

Oh fuck! They're as high as kites! Where's the bong?

"So you two old souls have found each other and desire to travel life's path together as one?" Sonny asks as he turns to Edward.

"We only take cash man. There can't be any large-scale revolution until there's a personal revolution, on an individual level. It's got to happen inside first." He pounds on his chest and starts coughing. "$100 bucks ought a cover it dude."

Emmett dutifully whips out the cash from his wallet. A small crowd on the street is starting to gather around us.

"What are your names young lovers?" Sonny asks us.

"Abbie Hoffman and Joni Mitchell." Edward answers without blinking an eye.

"Cool man. Do you have the license?" Sonny responds and beckons us to stand in front of him.

Cher slowly makes her way over to the back of the van and removes an 8-track player and a handful of tambourines that she hands out to everyone in a ten-foot radius. Suddenly we're serenaded with the sounds of Jefferson Airplane's, 'Somebody to Love'.

When the truth is found to be lies

An' all the joy within you dies

Don't you want somebody to love?

Don't you need somebody to love?

Wouldn't you love somebody to love?

You better find someone to love, love

Jasper whips out the license and hands it over to Sonny before looking over at Edward and breaking out into fits of laughter.

"Isn't this so romantic?" Alice sighs.

"I suppose so, if you've used up all of your brain cells." Rose snaps.

Sonny begins to speak loudly. "Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here this fine evening to join Abbie and Joni - together in the oppressive institution of marriage which was created by 'the man'."

"Amen!" Cher cries out and shakes her tambourine, waving it wildly in the air. A steady stream of tambourine chimes follows from the audience.

Sonny continues, "We can change the world, rearrange the world. It's dying - if you believe in justice. It's Dying - if you believe in freedom. It's Dying - let a man live his own life. It's Dying - rules and regulations, who needs them! Open up the door. The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. ...You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. Nobody living can ever stop me. As I go walking my freedom highway. Nobody living can make me turn back. This land was made for you and me. Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free."

Edward and I are staring blankly at him. Jasper can't stop laughing and Alice is busy smacking him. Emmett is trying to concentrate on Sonny's words of wisdom as Rose rolls her eyes.

"Abbie, do you take Joni to be your lawful wife? To forsake all other tail and eat only hers from now until your dying day? To be there for her even when you can't stand to look at her fucking face?" He solemnly asks Edward.

"I do." Edward says smiling and squeezes my hand.

"And do you Joni, take Abbie to be your old man and spread only for him until your dying day? To love and comfort him even when he is being a complete and total prick?" Sonny asks and grasps both of our hands with his.

"I do." I answer but I can no longer suppress my giggles from surfacing.

"Do you wish to exchange primitive tokens of bondage?" Sonny asks Edward.

Edward gestures for Jasper to hand Sonny the rings. Sonny raises the rings high up in the air and in the process nearly drops them in the street.

"Let this be a warning to others … a symbol that says 'stay the fuck away'!"

He spits on the rings before handing them over to Bella and me. Wiping them on our clothes, we quickly place the rings on our own fingers.

"Then by the power invested in me by 'the man' I hereby declare you to be husband and wife." Sonny smiles and Cher waves her tambourine. "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams, Live the life you've always imagined. Carry on, love is coming. LOVE IS COMING TO US ALL!"

Edward turns and stops the car abruptly, bringing me out of my memory and I realize that he is on the corner of Sahara Avenue and Las Vegas Boulevard. His arm reaches over and he pulls me close to him before kissing me passionately. He's remembering too.

"I love you Joni." He whispers.

"Same here Abbie." My hand pulls his mouth back to my lips.

~StN~

Edward

I am determined to make the most of my time with Bella. It's been far too long since we've spent an entire day together with nothing else to do but have fun. Maybe that is what we need to start reconnecting with each other again. When we're at Dr. Stanley's office, it seems to me that we're focusing only on what is wrong with our relationship. Perhaps it's time we remember why we fell in love in the first place.

I have no real plans for the afternoon as I am driving but when I spot a sign for The Aquarium, I quickly program the built-in GPS to the Silverton Hotel, only five miles away. One of Bella's favorite childhood movies is 'The Little Mermaid' so I'm certain she'll enjoy this.

Strolling hand-in-hand we mix and mingle with the other tourists that consist mainly of young couples with their wide-eyed small children in tow. Several times I catch Bella looking over at them with longing. I refrain myself from telling her how much I want that for us too. Keep it light and fun Edward, I remind myself. Don't scare her away.

"I wonder if the big fish ever eat the little fish." Bella asks out loud as we watch the stingrays and leopard sharks mix with the smaller schools of fish that swim together like a high school clique.

"I suppose it's possible but I'll bet they keep them well fed. Otherwise they'd have to restock constantly." I answer. "Survival of the fittest baby … remember that."

After watching the mermaid show with real honest-to-goodness women swimming around the tank scantily clad in nothing but a bikini top with long scaled tails and not coming up for air for minutes at a time, we head over to the outside café, We both order iced coffees and the house special, salmon veggie wraps.

"Who is taking care of your puppy this weekend?" Bella asks me clear out of the blue.

During one of our phone conversations we've had this past week, I told her all about how I found him inside a dumpster at the Mall. I even asked her to come over and meet him but she seemed a little hesitant so I dropped it.

"Pup is staying at a ritzy 5-star dog hotel being pampered and socializing with other high-class dogs." I laugh and take another sip of coffee. "I didn't realize how expensive it is to own a pet."

"Edward, I've already met your dog." She suddenly says, taking me by surprise and my head whips up. "I know I shouldn't have gone over to the house but curiosity got the better of me after Rose told me about him. He's really very sweet and friendly."

"It's still your home Bella." I off-handedly say but start wondering what else she may have seen. The manila envelope with the mysterious note suddenly comes to my mind. "When was this?"

"A week ago last Wednesday. He left quite the mess for you in the bathroom." Now she's the one laughing.

I breathe a sigh of relief. The manila envelope was in the pile of mail delivered last Saturday after I was released from jail. She couldn't possibly have seen it.

"And you didn't clean it up?" I pretend to be hurt. "It was truly disgusting."

"Hey, it's all a part of pet ownership." Finishing her wrap, she tosses the paper in the garbage.

"Is that the only reason you came to the house?" I reach for her hand and stroke her fingers. "Were you hoping I'd be there?"

Bella blushes and on impulse I lean over and kiss her. "I want you to come home. It's where you belong ... with me." I whisper in her ear.

"We'll see." She starts playing with the hair on the back of my neck. "Edward, can I ask you something?"

I freeze, suddenly alarmed by her tone of voice. I don't like it. My heart starts pounding in my chest and I hold my breath in anticipation of her question. I slowly nod and pull back.

"Who is T?" Her voice is low and anxious. Her eyes bore deeply into mine.

Oh shit! How do I answer this? I suddenly wish we were in Dr. Stanley's office. I realize that if I say the wrong thing everything could blow up in my face and any chance I may have in being reunited with my wife could suddenly vanish. But I don't want to lie to her either.

"I honestly don't know Bella." It sounds so lame hearing it come out of my mouth but it's the truth. I assume it's the person from the hotel but I don't remember anything from that night.

'But it's not the entire truth' my conscience admonishes me.

"I lost my phone the night the paparazzi took my picture at that new club that I went to with Vicky and James. Riley was with us too. I was drugged. Remember I told you that?"

"Yeah I do remember." She exhales, her voice relieved. "So there's nothing more to it?"

"No. This 'T' person must have found it and was thoughtful enough to return it to me."

I breathe in deeply knowing that there is a strong probability that I had sex with this person but I just don't know. I should tell Bella but right now I just can't. I finally just shake my head and cross my fingers. I hope that's the last I ever hear from 'T' and I pray to God that I was so out of it that I wasn't able to 'perform.

"How do you know about this?"

"After I met pup, Marcus – the mailman, gave me my mail and included by accident a manila envelope that was addressed to you."

My mouth drops open. "And you opened it?" I can't believe Bella would do that.

"No I didn't. I was going to return it to your mailbox right away but then I got distracted and placed it on top of the fridge and completely forgot about it until last Saturday." Bella nervously gazes up at me. "Rose opened the envelope and read the note out loud before we left for the Hive."

"Bitch!" I exclaim a little too loudly. "Who heard it?"

"Just Alice and … Jake."

Just hearing her speak his name is pissing me the hell off. That explains why that asshole was spouting off names to me at the pub.

"So Jacob stayed with you the entire week? A stone's throw away from me?" I clench my fist and lean back in my chair. "Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?"

"Yes and I'm sorry." She says softly.

"Sorry for what?" I ask.

Our conversation is dangling precariously on a tight rope. It could go either way. I know I shouldn't be angry about Jake being there and that it is very hypocritical of me considering the situation with this 'T' person but Jake is an entirely different story.

"I'm sorry to have upset you. I assure you that I did not sleep with Jake. In fact, I've never slept with him. He stayed in the spare bedroom whenever he did sleep. But there were many nights he stayed out and didn't come back at all." Bella reaches for my hand again. "I think he's met a girl – 'the girl', finally!"

My mood immediately brightens and I reach over for her pulling her into my lap. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I kiss her.

"It's about goddamn time he found his own girl and stopped hitting on mine." I slip my tongue in her mouth and am overjoyed when she does the same.

"I was never 'his girl' Edward. I've always been yours and only yours." She kisses me once more.

I can't help but smile. "My girl" I whisper tenderly. "I love you Bella."

"I love you too." She says.

After several minutes of just holding each other, she then asks me, "Where to now?"

"Hmm … it doesn't really matter to me as long as we're together."

"Together." She repeats and smiles back at me. "Are you feeling lucky?"

"Why? What do you have in mind?" I ask hopeful that she's thinking the same thing that I am.

"The possibilities are endless …" She climbs out of my lap and takes my hand pulling me to my feet.

Damn! She's not thinking the same thing that I am!

"Later Romeo." She winks letting me know that she really is thinking the same thing that I am.

Maybe my luck is beginning to change after all.

* * *

**A/N: So, we've learned quite a bit in this chapter, haven't we? I especially enjoyed writing the unconventional wedding with 'Sonny and Cher' officiating for 'Abbie and Joni'. For those who don't know, Abbie Hoffman was a political and social activist in the 60's and of course Joni Mitchell was a famous singer and songwriter. And finally … finally they are starting to open up and really talk to each other. Is it smooth sailing ahead from now on? What do you think?**


	15. Chapter 15

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns everything Twilight.**

**A/N: A shout of heartfelt thanks to my Beta T, Lovin Rob. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas … but this time I really hope not!**

* * *

Chapter Fifteen

"Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings... and lawyers." Richard Pryor

Edward

Checking my cell phone for messages was definitely a bad idea. Before leaving the cafe, I turn on the engine and turn up the air conditioning before removing our phones from the glove compartment. We've been MIA for 3 hours and I have 22 voice and over 50 text messages. I quickly skim through the text messages and note that all but 5 are from Vicky. She is totally freaking out – big time.

Message from Vicky: 'This is NOT funny! Where R U?'

Message from Jasper: 'V is on the war path.'

Message from Vicky: 'Photo shoot in 10 minutes. B there!'

Message from Emmett: 'Heads up – V is pissed at B. Blames B for U taking off.'

Message from Vicky: 'Edward – GET YOUR ASS HERE NOW!'

Message from Riley: 'LMAO man!'

Message from Bree: 'V having a total melt down :)'

Message from Vicky: 'Death is the ONLY excuse I will accept 4 U not being here!'

Message from Dave: '69 minutes … I'm impressed sir, Edward.'

I turn my phone off and gesture for Bella to do the same. Her face is ghostly pale and she's shaking her head in disbelief as she hands her phone back to me. I place them back inside the glove compartment. Something is wrong. She's upset.

"What's the matter Bella?" I ask and hope that it's nothing serious.

"Vicky called Banner," she says. "She's threatening to sue the newspaper unless I return you immediately. Then he said I was fired."

"He tells you that all the time," I remind her. Surely she must have misunderstood his voice message.

"I don't think he was joking this time Edward," her voice breaks. She shuts her eyes as a tear falls down her cheek.

I'm outraged and inwardly seething. Who the fuck does Vicky think she is going after Bella like this? This was MY idea, not hers. She shouldn't have to suffer the consequences of my actions.

"I'm so sorry baby. I'll straighten this out with your editor." I wipe away her stray tears with my thumb. "I predict that not only are you going to write the most amazing series of articles on the band but that Banner is also going to beg you to come back and give you a big fat raise too."

"Yeah right," she sarcastically says. "We really should go back. I don't want to get you into anymore trouble."

"No fucking way." I say firmly. "I'm not running back with my tail tucked between my legs like some goddamn disobedient dog. And the way I'm feeling right now I may not even show up for the concert at all."

"Oh no Edward, you can't do that," she implores me, grabbing my hand. "That wouldn't be fair to Jasper, Emmett or Riley – not to mention Bull Rant's many fans who've come here to see you guys play."

She's right and I know it. There's no way I can let any of them down. But I will not allow Vicky to dictate my every waking minute or to ruin the incredible day that I'm having with my wife. I truly believe we're moving closer towards reconciliation. I'll join my band mates when they take the stage but not a moment sooner.

"All right, you've convinced me. I'll go but right now you're all mine and I refuse to share you with anyone."

I lean over the console and give her a chaste kiss. When I pull back, I'm pleased to see her eyes are still closed and her lips are slightly parted.

"If you want more baby, all you have to do is ask." I kiss her again. My lips linger on hers. "Any place special you'd like to go? I know where I'd like to …"

"Adventuredome sounds cool," she interrupts me. "Let's see which one of us can ride the roller coaster the most without getting sick. Are you up for it?"

"Is that a challenge?" I laugh.

Bella knows how much I hate to lose – at anything. Putting the car in gear, I turn right onto the road and head back towards the strip.

Bella and I spend the next 3 hours at the 5-acre indoor amusement park. I wish I had my black beanie and sunglasses, as several times I'm almost recognized. We manage to disappear into the crowd before my picture is taken and posted all over the web. But I'll bet someone has posted on twitter that they've seen me and where. Hopefully other fans will call them out on it as being bogus. As strange as it sounds, having conflicting 'insider' stories posted is the one thing that actually gives me some freedom. I mean really, how many places can I actually be at one time?

We ride the roller coaster 9 consecutive times before Bella surrenders and declares me the winner. At the game arcade I win a giant stuffed elephant by tossing 5 rings in a row onto the rims of glass jugs. It would have been far cheaper if I'd just bought the damn thing but I was determined to win it for her. Later Bella surprises me when she makes it to the very top of the 30' rock climbing wall and again when she beats my sorry ass during 18 holes of miniature golf. But I redeem myself when I shoot her sweet ass repeatedly while playing laser tag.

It's after 3:00 when we return to the car. This time I don't even bother checking my cell phone and neither does Bella. I quickly calculate the time I should show up at the Dome Center. If the concert starts around 6:00 and Bull Rant is the 4th or 5th band in the line up, I should be okay if I get there by 9:00. That gives me more time to spend with Bella.

"Where to now Edward?" Bella excitedly asks me.

"Is there any place you would like to go?" I ask.

I'm hoping she'll suggest something a little lower key as the amusement park has worn me out and neither one of us got much sleep the previous night. A nap on that nice big old king-size bed back at the hotel sounds real good.

My conscience raises an eyebrow. 'A nap? You want to take a fucking nap with Bella? Christ, what are you? A 2-year old?'

'Yeah – a nap.' I snap back. Of course if she would prefer to engage in a little mattress gymnastics, I'm game.

"Why don't we do what most people come to Las Vegas to do?" she coyly suggests, raising an eyebrow.

I do a quick run-down in my head of the many reasons why people come to Sin City. Let's see … there are cool places to shop, exciting nightclubs, big-name shows and delectable restaurants, interesting museums and luxurious spas and bathhouses. Which one is she alluding to? Clueless, I shrug my shoulders.

"What else Edward - gambling!" she exclaims and rolls her eyes at me.

How did I miss that one?

"Feeling lucky, are you?" I lean over and shamelessly take this opportunity to kiss her. I'm more than pleased when she runs her fingers through my hair.

"Yes, I am lucky," she wistfully says.

Her lips devour mine once more and I'm hopeful that I may get lucky in a more personal way - with my wife. All too soon for my liking, she pulls away.

"Take me to a casino Edward. Let's blow some money."

"Yes ma'am. Your wish is my command." I start the car and drive the few blocks to where I want to take her.

Walking hand-in-hand, Bella and I enter the casino at the Bellagio Hotel. Of the many casinos on the strip, I deliberately chose this one. This is a special place for us, filled with many wonderful memories. The colorful flashing lights and cacophony of bells chiming together, created by row after row of slot machine levers being pulled simultaneously, is almost deafening. Seated in front of each brightly lit machine are the zombie-like patrons, most unable or unwilling to cut their losses and move on. Mindlessly they hand over their money, convincing themselves that 'this time' it will pay off. Of course, some people actually do win but they rarely stop at that point. Often they continue to play until they've lost their winnings and the casino recoups their money.

Bella is drawn to the roulette tables. We watch mesmerized as the players place their chips on the table and pick their colors and numbers they hope will win as the dealer spins the wheel. I order us both complimentary drinks from one of the passing barmaids, paying her little attention when she tries to flirt with me. After downing my drink, I purchase $1000 worth of chips.

"You pick the number and color, baby." I raise my voice loud enough so she can hear me over the white noise of the casino.

I patiently wait as she studies the wheel. Since there is no real skill involved with playing roulette, it doesn't really matters what she chooses. I grin as Bella's brow creases.

"Hmm … let's go with number 12 red," she finally says.

I playfully tease her. "Are you sure about that? Should I bet it all?"

A panicked expression covers her face. "Fuck no! Don't do that."

I place our $100 bet and we watch transfixed as the wheel quickly spins, round and round before slowing. The little ball drops in the slot for 23 black, the one directly next to Bella's call.

"Try again baby. That was really close." I encourage her.

Wrapping my arms around her small waist, I pull her back against my front and nuzzle the side of her neck. My heart pounds erratically as Bella leans further into me. I feel so alive when I'm with her. When she turns around to speak, my lips swoop down on hers and she kisses me back. It's then I realize she's enjoying being with me every bit as much as I am with her. It's as if the last 2 months haven't happened.

"Number 11 black." Her warm breath tickles the sensitive spot on my neck, right below my ear. "It's a sure thing," she says, her voice taunting and teasing me.

What's a 'sure thing'? Is she referring to something other than her gambling premonition?

Emboldened by her confidence, this time I place a $200 bet. Together we hold our breath as the wheel wildly spins. When the little ball actually drops into the 11 black slot, Bella starts jumping up and down and squealing loudly. I'm carrying on like a big pussy myself. Bella suddenly turns and throws both her arms around my neck, pulling my head down to her level and showers me with even more kisses. The heady combination of her close proximity and our just having won $600 is seriously turning me on. Boldly I slip my tongue into her mouth and really turn up the heat. When I hear soft moans escape her throat, I start running my hand firmly down her lower back and swivel her hips against my growing manhood. She's not stopping me.

Would she object if I suggest we go back to the sky loft to continue? It's been far too long since I've made love to her and I need her desperately. Slowly I'm aware that there are others around us as I hear throats clearing and I catch someone remarking that we should 'get a room'. I think that's a wonderful idea. I hope Bella heard it too. Reluctantly I loosen my hold on her but watch her intently. I cannot hide my love for her and I'm filled with renewed hope when I see the same mirrored in her eyes towards me.

This magical moment is suddenly broken when an elderly woman touches Bella's forearm and asks her, "You two are newlyweds, aren't you? True love such as yours is a beautiful thing to see. My dear husband, Herbert and I were blessed to have had fifty-four wonderful years together. God bless his dear soul."

"Oh I'm so sorry for your loss but you are mistaken, Edward and I are not newlyweds. In fact we're getting a divorce," Bella answers and smiles at her sweetly.

Flustered and confused, the woman recoils. Shaking her head she proclaims loudly, "That's what's wrong with your whole generation. You give up too easily on love. Oh it's easy to stay together when times are good but when things get a little rough, you bail. Marriage isn't easy. You have to work at it every day but it's worth it and it's obvious to me and everyone else that you two love each other very much. Don't give up. Don't ever give up." She squeezes both our arms and abruptly leaves.

Bella remains silent for what feels like forever. In the midst of this crowded, noisy casino I continue to hold her in my arms. Everything the old woman said was true. At least from my standpoint it is.

"She's right," Bella finally says. Her earlier light-hearted mood has dissipated.

"Yes she is. Tell me Bella; is it too late for us?" I tentatively ask and brace myself for whatever words will follow. If it's a divorce that Bella truly wants, I'll have to accept it and move on with my life without her. Just how I'll do that, I haven't a clue.

She shakes her head slowly. "No it's not too late. I can't ignore my feelings any longer," Bella whispers tenderly, her hand strokes my cheek. "I want us to work things out. I love you very much Edward. I … I don't want a divorce."

I'm overjoyed and bursting with happiness. Tears prick my eyes as I finally hear the words that I've longed to hear come from her sweet lips. Her heartfelt confession liberates and sets me free and the invisible chains that have bound me since she left vanishes at that very instant. This beautiful amazing woman still loves me even after everything I've put her through.

I'm wearing the widest grin. "I don't want a divorce either baby. I never wanted that. I love you so fucking much!"

"I AM THE LUCKIEST SON-OF-A-BITCH ALIVE!" I yell from the top of my lungs.

I hardly notice the many strange looks being thrown my way or the snide comments directed towards us as I passionately kiss my wife – repeatedly.

My wife! Oh dear God … thank you!

Before I can suggest we return to our hotel room, there's a loud commotion coming from across the expansive room. A crowd is quickly gathering around one of the blackjack tables. Scooping our chips into a container given to me by the dealer, Bella and I head over to join the throng of onlookers to see what's happening. It seems that someone is winning big. It's hard to see who exactly is playing through the layers of people surrounding it. But suddenly I hear a familiar voice booming above over all the others. It can't be him, can it? Holding onto Bella's hand, I maneuver us towards the front.

Holy shit, it IS and he is the one seated at the blackjack table.

"It's Emmett!" Bella exclaims. "It seems you're not the only one playing hooky."

"Good for him." I almost feel sorry for Vicky and her carefully construed plans that have gone amuck … well almost.

Emmett doesn't notice either of us, as he appears to be in deep thought. Leaning forward on his stool, he stares at his two cards facing upwards on the game table. There are two huge pile of chips stacked on both sides. He's been dealt a 9 of Clubs and a 7 of Hearts. The dealer is cool, calm and collected with his Jack of Diamonds and 9 of Hearts in front of him.

Will Emmett stand or draw again? If he's given a card higher than a 5, he'll lose. I wonder how much he has bet. I'm stunned when he turns to the attractive blonde standing very close to him and starts talking with her. Her perfectly manicured and heavily jeweled hand rests on top of his shoulder and she leans over and whispers into his ear. He smiles and nods before upping his bet and shoves another pile of chips forward. With the back of his hand, he then wipes the beads of perspiration from his forehead.

Taking a deep breath, he tells the dealer loudly, "Hit me."

A temporary silence descends. Anticipation hangs heavy in the air as the dealer slowly thumbs a solitary card from the top of the deck and pushes it forward. Emmett closes his eyes tightly and grimaces, murmuring something under his breath before flipping the card over. Loud cheers erupt when a 4 of Spades appears. With a combined score of 20 points, Emmett is poised to win if the dealer draws any card higher than a 2.

The blonde is clutching my friend's upper arm. He doesn't seem to notice. Where is Rose? I scan the room but don't see her anywhere in sight. But what I do see is 3 fast-moving paparazzi with their cameras poised to snap. My initial reaction is to grab hold of Bella and run but before I do, ear-splitting cheers ring out as the dealer loses with his 6 of Clubs. Emmett has won! Voices chime around the table.

"That guy just won over $35,000!"

"I wonder if he'll lend me his hot, good-luck charm!"

The parasitic paparazzi push forward, their cameras flashing just as Emmett, overcome with excitement, throws his arms around the blonde and kisses her square on the mouth.

Oh no, no, no! What the fuck Emmett?

~StN~

Bella

Lowering our heads, Edward firmly takes hold of my hand and we make a beeline in the opposite direction. Narrowly escaping we quickly cash in our chips and leave the casino. I briefly wonder about Emmett and what's going on but my mind is on other things. I know without having to ask Edward that we're going back to our hotel room and why. I'm anxious to get there as well.

While driving he slowly runs his hand up and down my thigh. Strategically I place my hand over his, stopping him in place when he reaches my sensitive spot and stroke each one of his long fingers. Taking notice of the prominent bulge in his crotch, I boldly trace its outline. He gasps and holds my hand in place when I squeeze my fingers around his growing manhood.

Yes Edward, I want you!

His eyes dart over and he gives me one of his panty-poofing smiles. Literally I am melting under his molten gaze. Unable to control myself another minute longer, I stretch over the console that separates us and unbutton his jeans. With skilled expert precision, I slide my hand through the opening of his boxers-briefs and set Mr. Sex-on-Legs free. I can't help but stare at his impressive cock and know that he is all mine. I feel like a kid inside a candy store and have to stifle myself from giggling out loud as most men wouldn't appreciate a woman laughing at their most cherished appendage even if it were done out of sheer joy. I briefly wonder if there are such things as penis models because as long and thick as Edward's is, he would be the supermodel of cocks. Knowing exactly what my man likes, I grasp him firmly and start stroking his length up and down several times and run my thumb over his head. Amazingly he still grows.

"Bella … baby, I swear if you keep doing that I'm going to drive right off the damn road," he says, his breathing accelerating.

But I don't stop, if anything I increase the intensity of my strokes.

"Oh man, that feels so fucking good …" he whimpers and groans.

Thankfully the MGM Grand is only a few blocks away. Turning into the hotel parking lot, he quickly finds a space and turns off the car. Nervously his eyes dart around the lot. No one in sight as I continue my handiwork ... not that it would have stopped me even if there were. He leans his head back and closes his eyes. Without his saying a word, I can tell that he's very close to his release.

"Please baby, let's go inside," he pleads. Placing his hand over mine, he feebly tries to get me to stop.

"Let me finish Edward… this is making me so hot." I squeeze him tighter and pump briskly another three or four times and watch as his face starts to unravel.

"Oh Bella … oh, oh baby, oh … fuck, fuck, fuucckk!" he cries as he is consumed by his orgasm. "Ohh … FUUCCKK!"

Once finished, I reach for the tissue box in the back seat and wipe his semen off my hands. Then like a cat licking her paws after eating her prey, my head falls to his lap and I clean him with my tongue. When his eyes finally open, he's grinning at me and appears to be amused.

"Just you wait baby …" his promise hanging in the air fills me with anticipation of more good things yet to come. He kisses me. "You are a very, very naughty girl, Mrs. Cullen. I love it and I love you."

I lick my lower lip and bite down. "Hmm … naughty is my middle name."

Before leaving the car Edward sends Dave a text message. I'm curious as to what he wrote but I don't ask. But I quickly find out once we enter the hotel lobby and his bodyguard is immediately by his side.

"Why do we need Dave to escort us up to our room" I ask, puzzled.

I have my answer when Vicky comes running out of the nearby lounge with poor Bree trailing behind her. I do a double take, as this woman barely resembles the meticulously composed and always in control businesswoman I've come to know and dislike. Actually Vicky is quite a mess and it's obvious from her appearance and swagger that she has been drinking rather heavily.

"That's why," Edward leans down and whispers in my ear.

Vicky's face contorts into a hideous scowl as she reaches us. Dave blocks her from getting too close. Her arm shoots out and she wags her pointy finger at us.

"Do you have any idea what you've done?" she shrieks at Edward stumbling on her feet. "It's bad enough that you single-handedly botched the press conference because of HER!" She gives me a contemptuous glare and jabs her index finger at me. "But then you coerce my assistant into handing you her car keys so you can run off with HER all day and I can't reach you because you've turned off your fucking cell phone! I had to cancel the photo shoot and all of the other appearances Bull Rant was scheduled to do this afternoon! All that free publicity … gone because of HER! I hope you're happy because now you are plastered all over the fucking Internet punching a photographer's lights out all because of HER! You better hope that he doesn't fucking sue!"

"Chill out Vicky," Edward says impassively as he gazes around the room. Heads inside the crowded lobby are all looking our way.

"You're creating quite the scene," his voice is surprisingly calm but I can tell he is inwardly seething. "Oh wait! I get it now… any publicity is good publicity, right? So where are the fucking paparazzi now Vicky? Tell me so I can be sure to smile for those motherfuckers."

"I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about …" Vicky says nervously, her voice lowered. It seems to finally dawn on her that Edward is really upset with her.

"I'm not sticking around for any of this fucking bullshit," Edward fumes and takes hold of my hand steering us towards the elevators.

Dave continues to shield us from Vicky who is frantically trying to keep up with us. Edward hits the elevator button and we wait for its doors to open. Vicky catches up and continues on with her tirade.

"You don't appreciate all of the hard work I've done for the band Edward." I'm startled when I see real tears falling down Vicky's face. "Without ME, you would still be playing in little shitty venues. All the countless hours I've put in! Everything I've done was for you and the good of the band and this is the thanks I get?" She takes the tissue from Bree's waiting hand and blows her nose.

"Will you be at the concert later or should I cancel that too?" her voice cracks.

Edward, who has been standing rigidly by my side, exhales loudly, his anger evaporating. "I'll be there," he snaps.

The elevator doors ping open and the three of us step inside. I kind of feel sorry for Vicky … well almost. Before sliding the keycard in the door, Edward scoops me into his arms and kisses me long and hard. Dave, who is standing behind us, turns around quickly giving us a moment of privacy. Scrambling to open the door with one hand, Edward carries me inside.

Jasper is sprawled out over the luxurious couch watching three different baseball games on the big screen TV's with a large beer mug in his hand. He smirks when he glances up and sees Edward carrying me.

"It's about time you two showed up," he casually remarks, his eyes shooting back to the screens. "Ah shit! Can you believe he missed that throw?" Dave joins Jasper on the couch and is similarly transfixed on the ball games.

"Uh huh …" Is all Edward manages to say as he whisks me into the bedroom without delay, his lascivious intent is duly noted.

Without letting go of me, he locks the door behind us. Placing my arms around his neck, I shift my position so I am straddling his hips with my legs. His growing erection provides some much-needed friction as I swivel my crotch up against his jeans. I desperately need to be reunited with the man I love in the most intimate way possible. _My husband! _The next thing I know Edward is pushing my back up against the door and he is all over me like a rash. He places one hand behind my neck and with the other he gently cups and massages my ass flexing his hips forward, pushing and grinding into me. His mouth is kissing me as if his life depended on it. His tongue strokes and probes mine as I join his in a rhythmic dance that sets us both ablaze.

Damn, I want him right now!

I tug on the bottom of his shirt and struggle to pull it upwards. Leaning back slightly, he helps by lifting his arms over his head. I quickly toss it onto the floor. Following my lead, he removes my white V-neck, t-shirt and unsnaps my white lace bra. They join his shirt on the floor.

"The bed … please Edward," I plead.

Carrying me over to the edge of the king-size bed, he gently lowers my back on the mattress. Gazing down at me with dark, hooded eyes he unzips my jeans and slowly peels each pant leg off. I'm left wearing only my matching white lace panties. He swallows deeply, his head tilted to the side appreciatively staring at my nakedness.

"Bella your body is so sexy … my other half. You know that we were made for each other, don't you?" he murmurs.

I nod and whimper softly. "Oh yes, please Edward … touch me down there."

In one swift move, my panties vanish. Lowering his nose into my neatly groomed pubic hair, he inhales the scent of my sex.

"Your scent is the most fragrant and powerful perfume," he whispers reverently and blows gently on my clitoris.

My lower torso arches up to meet his tongue. Oh so slowly at first, he flicks the tip of his tongue forward and back, then around and around my swelling nub as every nerve ending becomes a live wire, spiking with pleasure. I can't concentrate on anything but the exquisite sensation building between my thighs. He slips a finger inside me, then another and twirls them in a circular motion around my walls. All the while his tongue moves faster over my clit. My legs stiffen as the coil inside my lower belly snaps and my orgasm rips through me.

"OH FUCK ME EDWARD!" I scream his name out loud, not caring that there are others in the other room. "Holy fucking shit!"

Finally, when I come down, he is looking down on me with a knowing smile. "Who knows how to take care of his baby?"

"You do," I whisper. I can taste my own juices when his tongue darts into my mouth.

"Delicious," he breathes.

Sitting up I unfasten the top buttons of his jeans. I yank them down and he shimmies out of both his pants and boxer-briefs in one quick motion. I soak up the spectacular view that is Edward. He really is something to behold … well defined, firm muscles cover his chest. His glorious manhood stands prominent and proud. I want him inside of me.

"I need you so fucking much Edward … make love to me. Please …" My voice is low and breathy. Lowering myself back down on the bed, I spread wide for him.

"Oh my dear God," he prays softly.

He climbs on the bed, his knees press into the mattress on both my sides. Leaning down his mouth latches onto my nipple, sucking it hard. When he's finished with one breast he moves to the other. Shivers run down my spine as the exquisite feeling travels straight down to my groin. I'm already wet and ready for him. His cock hovers close to my entrance. Unable to refrain myself, I take hold of him and lead him home. Ever so slowly he fills me. A low moan escapes my throat. He feels so fucking good. Savoring this moment, he stills and cradles my head.

"I love you Bella," he confesses. "I've never stopped loving you."

"Neither have I. I do love you Edward," I say softly, caressing his name with my lips. I close my eyes.

He pulls back before thrusting forward and stilling once more. A panicked expression covers his face when I gaze up at him.

"What's wrong Edward?" Alarm fills me.

"Protection?" he questions. "Are you still on the pill? I don't have a condom."

"Yes I am," I nod. "Please don't stop Edward."

Edward answers my plea by moving … really moving. He thrusts into me again and again; his breath feels warm on my neck. I meet his every movement and feel my body start its familiar climb. His mouth covers mine as our passion explodes. Tongues exploring, fingers touching … every sense and feeling inside of me heightens and intensifies. I'm on the edge … skirting dangerously close to the precipice of another all consuming orgasm.

"Edward! Harder … faster!" I cry out.

Lifting my legs so they rest on top of his shoulders, he thrust wildly. "Cum for me baby!"

I surrender and scream his name as my release rips through my core, "EDWARD! Oh God YES!"

My walls constrict around him and he follows, shouting through clenched teeth, "BELLA!"

With our bodies entwined he then collapses on top of me. His heart is pounding in his chest, his breath ragged. Slowly, I trace circles over his back with my fingernails. He exhales. When he finally withdraws, I wince. Turning onto his side, he pulls my back against his front, clinging to me tightly as he calms. It isn't long before I feel and hear the steady rise and fall of his chest letting me know he's fallen asleep.

Lying in Edward's arms again feels so right. I've missed him terribly. But I'm not delusional. Just because we've decided not to end our marriage doesn't mean our problems have magically disappeared. But I have confidence that we'll work through them together and with Dr. Stanley's unorthodox guidance. We're going to be all right. We are going to make it. What we have together is far too special to just walk away. I realize this now. I love this man and he's worth fighting for. Suddenly I too am tired. I close my eyes … just for a minute or two.

Voices from the main room waken me. When my eyes open, the light in our bedroom has dimmed. I turn over and find Edward propped with his chin resting on his elbow, smiling at me. His fingers tenderly stroke my cheek. I glance at the small clock on the nightstand. It reads 7:15.

"I don't want us to leave this room," he confesses. "I've enjoyed every single minute I've spent with you today."

"Yes," I murmur. "Think of what you have to look forward to when you return." I don't want to leave this room either but I know it's almost time for the concert. I sigh heavily.

"Have I told you lately how much I love you?" He plants a chaste kiss on my mouth.

"You have." My lips seek his once more. "And you've shown me."

Placing his leg over my thigh he pulls me closer. I feel his erection on my belly. But I know this will have to be continued later. Otherwise Edward won't make the concert. His lower lip pouts as I pull away.

"I smell pizza." I tug on his arm as I sit up. "And you are going to need your strength for later."

He raises his eyebrow suggestively. "I am?" As if on cue, his stomach grumbles. "I'm not sure what I crave more. Food or you?"

He watches me intently as I get up and put my bra and panties back on. I toss his shirt over to him.

"Pizza now – you later," he mutters and rises to dress.

When our bedroom door opens and Edward and I enter the great room, our friends stand up and start clapping.

"Well it's about fucking time!" Riley laughs. He looks so much better than he did earlier in the day.

Jasper is grinning and Alice is excitedly jumping up and down in place. "I always knew you two would get back together!" she squeals and runs over giving us both a hug and kiss. "I just love happy endings!"

Even Dave with his usual stone-face is smiling. "Congratulations Edward, sir and Isabella, ma'am."

"Yeah, yeah … it's fucking great," Rose says, clearly agitated about something. "Have either of you two seen Emmett lately?"

Edward and I both turn towards each other, exchanging a knowing look. Oh fuck!

* * *

**A/N: Finally! Both Edward and Bella are on the same page! Vicky was rather frightening, don't you think? And what's going on with Emmett? Tune in next week to find out.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns everything Twilight.**

**A/N: Beta T, Lovin Rob … you are truly amazing! Thank you!**

**We've finally come to the reason why Bull Rant has come to Las Vegas. I do love a good floorshow, don't you?**

* * *

Chapter Sixteen

"Marriage is three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of sins." Langdon Mitchell

Edward

It's been a monumental day. In a half hour Bull Rant will take the gigantic stadium stage by storm. But for the moment it's mostly calm as I sit backstage with my band mates and try to clear my head. But I'm finding it increasingly difficult to do as Jasper is playing an annoying game on his iPhone, its high-pitched music is driving me up the wall and Riley is muttering and laughing to himself while texting non-stop. Emmett finally showed up a few minutes ago looking flustered and out-of-sorts, definitely not his usual happy-go-lucky self. Now he is on his cell phone apologizing profusely to Rose. I can't help but overhear bits and pieces of what he's saying to her.

"Sorry I was gone all afternoon pumpkin … but …but …"

"Rosie I won us a ton of money. I'll make it up to you later sweet bottoms … yes, of course your Emmy loves you."

The sound of him blowing kisses into the phone makes me want to hurl. Disgusting!

"Yeah … I know I'm a slob honey. I shouldn't have thrown my clothes on the floor baby but I had to change and I was running late. Yes dear, I know you're not my maid. Just leave it there. When will you be here?"

Damn! Who wears the pants in that relationship? Emmett is definitely pussy-whipped.

'Yes he most certainly is … and he's generally happy about it.' my conscience twirls his mustache around his little finger. "… Perhaps you are as well.'

'Yeah, maybe I am.' I grin and break out into a full-fledged smile, reminding myself for the umpteenth time that there isn't going to be a divorce.

Bella and I are going to be fine. I suddenly have an epiphany.

I think I finally get why Emmett kisses Rose's ass and why he continually grovels and worships at her feet. It's because he really loves her and doesn't want to live a life without her in it. After almost losing the most important person in mine, I get that now. If he feels even a tiny fraction of what I feel for my wife, he'll do whatever it takes including acting like a tool in front of the guys in order to stay in her good graces. And knowing Rose, that can't be an easy task. I only hope that I won't be expected to behave in quite the same way. After all, a man needs to retain some self-respect. Am I right or am I right?

Thankfully Bella is nothing like Rose. That bitch is one nasty piece of work. Exactly how she and Bella came to be such good friends, I'll never fully understand. What do they actually have in common anyway? Their personalities are so different. While one resembles the Wicked Witch of the West the other is more like Dorothy and did you ever see those two hanging out together and becoming good friends? Even after all this time, I still can't stomach being around Rose for more than a few minutes at a time without wanting to bind and gag her and toss her into the Pacific Ocean. From the very beginning, she disliked me, hated me actually. Not that I entirely blame her. I was a total jackass to her friend.

**Twenty months earlier …**

I don't know why I let Vicky talk me into doing this. Signing autographs is one thing but having a sit-down chat with some random, glassy-eyed fan is quite another. Inside the VIP room at the Auditorium Theatre, I gesture to the bartender to pour me another beer. It's been a shitty day and I'm in a foul mood. Nothing seems to be going right for me today.

It started last night when Jasper brought his new girlfriend over to our apartment and they proceeded to fuck their brains out into the wee hours of the morning. The loud carnal noises they made painfully resonated through our thin walls, so much so that I couldn't possibly sleep. It was excruciating for me to lie there and listen to them without needing to get a little action for myself. One by one, I started calling some of my favorite girls, their rank given according to how they performed in the sack, from my phone list. But wouldn't you know it, every single one was too fucking busy. Maybe what I need is a girlfriend? One special person who is devoted to me and only me. Someone who will be there when I need them to be and preferably gone when I don't.

Nah, I've tried that a few times and it never worked out very well. Soon they'd grow clingy and want me to spend all of my time with them. They'd actually expect me to do all the boring and common girlfriend-boyfriend things like go shopping and talking about their 'feelings' and shit like that. The only way I was ever able to get any of them to shut up was by sticking my cock in their mouth. No, I'm not good boyfriend material.

So not only did I not sleep well because of the fuckfest going on last night but when I went to take a shower this morning there was no hot water because Jasper and this girl used it all up, fucking, yet again. Trust me; it isn't easy jacking off with cold water shriveling your dick to the size of a ten-year old. Needless to say I was thoroughly pissed by the time I sat down at the kitchen table.

I took a good, long look at the short, dark-haired girl that my best friend was shamelessly ogling. I guess she could be considered attractive if you liked cute, pixie-like elves. She was busy at the stove making breakfast for him. Bouncing like the Easter bunny on crack, she whipped up a batch of peanut butter, chocolate chip and banana pancakes and insisted that I take a heaping stack as well. Of course I ate it. It was the least this annoying girl owed me after disrupting my sleep and morning ritual. I hate to admit it but they tasted damn good. But I lost my appetite when I peered up over my plate and saw her grind her ass into Jasper's lap and spoon-feed him in between drilling her tongue down his throat. It was too much, even for me.

"Isn't it a wonderful morning Edward?" she turned to me and squealed, when finally coming up for air. "Jasper tells me that you are single and available. Listen, I have a friend and I think she'd be perfect …"

"Then I'm sure Jasper also told you I don't like being set-up. I don't have any trouble getting my own dates, thank you very much," I rudely interrupt her.

I grab my car keys and run out the door. I decide to head over to the Hive for a little peace and quiet and to work on the song that has been stuck inside my head for the past week. Since it's a Saturday morning, the place is empty or so I thought. I spend the next hour or so in the recording room with my guitar trying to get that particular the rift down pat. While inside the control room, I am preoccupied listening carefully to what I've recorded. I like it. I like it a lot. Feeling a set of hands settle on my shoulders, I jump up off my chair startled.

"Vicky? You nearly gave me a fucking heart attack! What the hell are you doing here?" I loudly exclaim.

"I'm sorry to disturb you Edward," she says giving me an apologetic smile. "I was in my office working and heard you playing. It was amazing … you are amazing."

"This is a sound-proof area. How could you possibly have heard anything while up on the next floor?" My eyebrows scrunch together as I try to figure it out.

Giving me a sly smile, she extends her hand to a lever hidden on the side of the control panel. "You must have hit this by mistake. It connects directly into my office." Her smile widens. "When it's on I can hear everything that goes on inside this room."

"What are you some kind of fucking spy Vicky?" I nervously laugh. How have I never seen this before? Her hand moves over slowly and covers mine.

She laughs and tosses her thick red hair behind her shoulder. "No, of course not silly. Let's just say that I like to keep my eyes and ears open … and especially my mouth." She suggestively runs her tongue over her bottom lip and steps closer to me.

Holy fuck! She's coming onto me! What to do? Think Edward ... think fast!

I've been getting mixed signals from Vicky since the band signed on with Visions Management a little over a year ago. One minute she'd be aloof and all business-like and the next I would catch her watching me with bedroom eyes. But because she let it be known to the boys and me that her role as our agent would be purely a professional one, I thought I had misread her. Plus, she and James are a couple.

"Vicky … I …" I stammer finding it difficult to think rationally. Even though she is 10 years older than me, I find her physically attractive. Her personality much less so.

"Shh … Edward," she says flicking her finger over the hidden lever to the 'off' position. "You had to have known that I've wanted you for quite some time now. This will be our little secret. No one ever need know."

Our eyes meet and my breath hitches. Involuntarily I shudder as her hand slowly travels down the length of my shirt and pauses on the top button of my jeans. Silencing my thoughts, I give her a quick nod. I brace myself and reach back grasping the counter as Vicky drops down to her knees.

So that part of my day wasn't completely horrible but now I'm hoping things aren't going to get weird between Vicky and me. As far as I'm concerned, it was a one-time thing. I gesture to the bartender to pour me yet another beer and I watch with casual interest as an attractive petite brunette approaches the bar.

"Excuse me sir," she says to the bartender. "I was told to wait in here by that red head over there." Her hand gestures towards Vicky who is standing in the hallway talking with several people who I don't recognize.

"Is this the VIP room?" she asks. The brunette is holding a backstage pass with 'VIP' stamped on it.

The bartender nods. "What can I get for you miss?"

"Whatever beer you have on tap will be fine, thank you," she answers and takes a seat at the bar, leaving a space between us.

A smile spreads across my face. Maybe my day is about to improve.

My eyes run up and down her slim body. This girl is hot, there's no doubt about that. I purse my lips together and blow appreciatively. Although the way she's carrying herself, I don't think she is entirely comfortable with her sexuality or maybe it's just the tight, low-cut clothes that she's wearing. I note that she is at least 6 inches shorter than I am, even with those ridiculously high pumps. I'm drawn to the delicate curve of her neck and her smooth, flawless pale skin that peaks out from underneath the sheer dark blue fabric covering her collarbone.

She is so fucking sexy! My cock stirs. I'm guessing that her perky breasts are a perfect size B-cup and I find myself wanting to cup them with my palm and run my thumb over her nipples. I've never experienced this instant chemistry with anyone else before. Leaning back on my barstool, I not so subtly check out her backside. Hmm … a nice firm, supple ass and it's attached to the most perfect set of long luscious legs that I've ever seen.

The brunette abruptly turns and looks directly at me. "Excuse me but you're rude!" It's clear to me, even in my slightly intoxicated state that she is irritated.

If I thought her body was spectacular, it's nothing compared to her face. This girl is stunningly beautiful. My first thought is, it's too bad she's not very tall because if she were, I'd lay bets she was a model. Quickly I gather my wits together.

"I'm sorry to stare but I thought I recognized you. Tell me, have we met before?"

It's one of my standard, pick-up lines and it usually works once they lay their eyes on me but apparently not this time as she's frowning and rolling her eyes. I then flash her one of my tried and true, panty-poofing smiles. For a split second she's rendered momentarily stunned.

Do you like what you see baby?

She shakes her head as if to clear it and starts to laugh. "Come on now please, do girls actually buy that lame line?"

Something is wrong. Maybe I'm more inebriated than I thought because she should be putty in my hands at this point. "You wound me … um Miss … I'm sorry I didn't catch your name."

"Smooth too," she remarks and snaps back, "That's because I didn't toss it."

"Is that anyway to treat your idol?"

I've never had a fan talk to me this way before. It's unnerving. Usually they are so star-struck they have trouble putting a complete and coherent sentence together but not this one. She doesn't seem to give a shit.

Breaking into peels of laughter, she snidely comments, "You really are something aren't you?"

This is more like it. "You have no idea baby but I'd be more than happy to show you." I tilt my head towards the exit and the small room that I've used before when getting a little something, something.

"That's disgusting," she says with loathing. "I'm waiting here for my friends to arrive. They should be here any minute. I'd appreciate it if you left me the fuck alone," she pauses and takes a long swig of her beer before adding, "Just who the hell do you think you are anyway?"

"You really don't know?" I stammer.

Does she live in a cave with no social media whatsoever? After all, my face is practically plastered everywhere. I'm the lead singer for the hottest rising rock band in the country! I shake my head, as now I'm confused. I had assumed that she was the fan I was supposed to be meeting. After all she is wearing a back-stage VIP pass and Vicky steered her in here.

"Actually I do know who you are," she says with contempt. "I've met guys like you before and you're all the same."

I can't help but fixate on her pouty lips. I'm thoroughly spellbound. What would she do if I leaned over and kissed them?

"Just because you are drop dead gorgeous, you think you are God's gift to women." She starts shaking her head vigorously, "You mister, are a FUCKING ASSHOLE!"

Wasting no time, she gets up taking her beer and moves to the very end of the bar before turning her back to me. Whoa! No one has ever told me off quite like this sweet thing just did. I think I just came in my pants. Who the fuck is she? I have to find out and somehow find a way to get her to go out with me. I'm just about to get up and approach her again when I spot Riley, Jasper and the dark-haired pixie walk inside the VIP room along with Emmett and a beautiful blonde. They head straight over to the sassy brunette who essentially just told me to drop dead.

"Hey Edward!" Alice, Jasper's new girlfriend calls over to me. "Come meet the girl I was telling you about this morning. This is Isabella Swan, my very best friend in the entire universe. You two would be perfect together."

Bend me over and fuck me sideways! Shit I had this girl's number all wrong! I catch Isabella's face drop as she openly glares at Alice and then me.

"Edward!" Vicky's sultry voice calls out to me. She's leading a tall, gangly young man who doesn't look a day over 18, in my direction. "Edward, this is Lester. He won 107.7, The End's radio celebrity trivia contest just so that he could meet you."

"Oh wow Edward, I'm your biggest fan," Lester gushes, his voice giddy with excitement. "I know everything there is to know about you."

That's just fucking great. I guess I wasn't wrong about my day after all! I shift uncomfortably on my barstool.

"Oh really? Hmm … well then tell me, what's my favorite breakfast cereal?"

"Cinnamon Toast Crunch," he smiles and says without hesitation.

"Lunch?" I arch an eyebrow.

"Hot pockets or Dino Nuggets," he shoots back.

"Snack?" I nervously laugh. This is too weird.

"Blazin' Buffalo Doritos and Cape Cod Salt and Vinegar potato chips. Sometimes you pig out on Pretzel M&M's but then hate yourself afterwards because you can't stop yourself from eating the entire bag," he says proudly and waits for my reaction.

The fact that he knows this about me is unsettling to say the least. I start running my fingers nervously through my hair. Did I say this shit in an interview or did Vicky release this information? Regardless, I think Lester has one too many screws loose. I toss out another question, positive that he can't possibly know the answer.

"Boxers or briefs?" If he knows the answer, so help me, I'm shipping him over to Riley.

Lester's face lights up like the 4th of July. "Oh that's easy! Joe Boxer Classic Briefs in either gray or black, size small but that's only because of your lean body build not because of the size of your penis."

Holy fuck! Did he just refer to my penis?

Now I'm 100% certain that if I suggested going into the other room, he wouldn't turn me down. But I'm not into dudes. I finish the last of my beer in one long swig and let out a spectacular belch.

I glance over at Isabella who is openly leering at me.

"Fucking asshole," her lips quietly mouth.

I break out into a huge smile and give her a wave. Yeah, she wants me.

~StN~

"5 minutes everyone!" Vicky excitedly calls out.

If truth be known I'm still pretty upset with Vicky but I've cooled down considerably. I keep reminding myself just how much she's done for the band and that she couldn't possibly have known what direction the press interview was heading this morning.

Could she? I shudder. No, I shake my head. Vicky would never do anything to jeopardize Bull Rant's skyrocketing success.

But what I can't fathom is why she contacted Bella's editor and threatened to sue if I wasn't 'returned' immediately as if I was some sort of 'package'. Vicky knew how much I wanted to salvage my marriage and that her actions would most likely cause problems for Bella. Why would she do such a thing? The more I think about it, her attitude towards Rose has been rather off lately as well.

At least I think I got Bella her job back. I smile thinking of the conversation I had earlier with her editor while in the car on my way over here.

"There isn't going to be any lawsuit. Our manager simply panicked when she couldn't get a hold of me. It was in no way Bella's fault," I say to Banner. "I assure you that Bella's been doing a fantastic job."

"Agreed. The article she e-mailed me earlier definitely had an insider's feel to it." The tone in Banner's voice is conciliatory. I have no doubt that he wants to rehire her but this time it's going to cost him, if I have anything to say about it.

"Is she with you now?" he off-handedly inquires.

"No, but she should be any minute now. Bella really is an amazing writer," I casually remark. "I'm certain that as a free-lance writer, she'll have no trouble selling her articles to some other media outlet for a nice chunk of change."

On the other end of the phone Banner is silent for a minute. I smile. He's probably sweating bullets.

"She can't do that," he indignantly huffs. "Bella is contractually obligated to the Seattle Times."

"Technically though, you fired her, remember?" I remind him.

Banner nervously laughs, "Bella knows I was only joking with her. I'll give her a call right now." He abruptly hangs up without the courtesy of a 'goodbye'.

"Let's go boys!" Vicky excitedly claps her hands together. "It's show time!"

I'm trailing my band-mates out the door when I suddenly feel an arm wrap around my bicep, stopping me in my tracks. I turn around to find Vicky looking up at me with forlorn eyes.

"Listen Edward, I'm really …" she grimaces. I abruptly cut her off.

"Save it Vicky. We're business associates, not friends." I shake her arm free from mine and run to catch up to the others.

~StN~

Bella

Staring at my laptop screen, I'm re-reading the article I e-mailed to Banner right before he fired me. Now that I'm unemployed, I wonder if Edward is right. He seems to think I'll have no trouble free-lancing and selling my articles to the highest bidder.

"_**Charging the Red Cloak. The Story Behind the Story of Bull Rant's Meteoric Rise."** by Isabella Swan-Cullen_

_It's no wonder that Bull Rant is the hottest rising rock band in the country. No, make that the world. The four young men behind the band's charge to the top comprise their unique sound and delivers soulful messages to the masses across generational lines. Only a handful of bands in the past have accomplished this incredible feat and reached the dizzying heights that Bull Rant promises to climb, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin just to name a few._

_Having traveled with members of the band to the Dome Center in Las Vegas for the mega rock concert, I can tell you this much, these guys are fascinating to watch in action. Each has their own unique and distinctive personality. They are so different yet somehow they mesh together perfectly. And make no mistake these young men are a closely-knit group both in and outside the studio. While Edward is often accused of being morose and introverted, Jasper is reflective and passionate in his beliefs. Emmett is boisterous and sweet natured while Riley is witty and fun loving, oftentimes concocting elaborate jokes to play on his unsuspecting band mates. _

_Jasper and Edward are the songwriters and compose all of the material that Bull Rant records. I've recently sat down with them both separately and asked how they go about creating their special and unmistakable blend of music._

"_The process starts with Edward." Jasper Whitlock seriously confides. "He'll start strumming a melody with his Les Paul over and over again until I can't get it out of my head without either putting words down or beating the sh*t out of him." Jasper laughs but is quick to add, "It's definitely a collaborative effort."_

_When I pose the same question to Edward, he emphatically shakes his head, clearly uncomfortable with his friend's admission. "No, no man, I'm inspired to play only after I've read Jasper's writings. Did he really say that he beats the sh*t out of me?" Edward nervously runs his fingers through his hair. "He must have been f**king high when he told you that bullsh*t."_

The sound of loud, piercing cries coming from inside the sky loft interrupts me as a chill runs down my spine.

"I'm going to fucking kill him!" Rose screams. A steady stream of colorful expletives follows.

Closing my laptop, I rush over to Rose and Emmett's bedroom at the end of the hallway. Pausing inside the doorway, I'm shocked to discover my incredibly strong and stoic friend, Rose, crumpled on top of her bed. Sobbing uncontrollably, her face is buried in her pillow. She's holding something in her hand.

Something is very wrong. In all the many years I've known her, I've never, ever seen Rose cry, not once – not ever! Repeatedly running her hand soothingly over her back, Alice is trying her best to console her.

"Give it to me Rose," Alice says calmly. "Please let me see it." Rose clutches the item in her hand tighter.

"What's happened?" I ask with rising apprehension. Alice points to the computer screen on the nearby desk.

I freeze upon seeing a photo of Emmett with his arms wrapped tightly around the blonde woman that I quickly recognize as being from the casino, splashed over the Internet. It isn't a sweet, chaste kiss either. He is kissing her passionately. There is also a short video clip. This is not good.

"Rose, honey." I walk over to the bed and sit down beside her and Alice. "I'm sure there is a good explanation." At least I hope there is.

"How could he do this to me? To us?" Rose wails louder.

"What's in your hand, Rose?" I ask, keeping my voice steady.

"This fell out when I picked his goddamn pants up off of the floor. Fucking son of a bitch!" Rose says, her chest heaving. She opens her hand. "I can't fucking believe this shit! Especially now!"

"Is that Emmett's keycard?" I ask, hoping that it is but knowing in my gut that it isn't. "Because it's no big deal if it is. You can give it to him when we get to the Dome Center."

"You better believe I'm going to give it to him," she shrieks. "Here." She hands me the piece of plastic. I look down. It's a keycard from the Bellagio Hotel, room 735.

"I'll bet it belongs to that whore he's kissing!" Her eyes glance over at the computer screen.

"Maybe he found it?" Alice suggests as a possible explanation. "Come on Rose, this is Emmett we're talking about. He literally worships the ground you walk on. Ask him. Call him now."

"No!" Rose adamantly shakes her head. "I want to see his face when he tries explaining and then I'm going to kick his fucking ass!"

A feeling of déjà vu washes over me. I feel sick for my friend, as I know what she's going through at this moment. I've been there, recognizing the feelings of uncertainty and doubt that creeps into your mind. Perhaps it will help if I tell her what I witnessed at the casino earlier.

"Rose, Edward and I were there when the paparazzi took those photos." I start to explain. She lifts her head and reaches for a tissue on the nightstand.

"I'm listening." Sitting up, she blows her nose.

"We were at the Bellagio casino and were just about to cash in our chips and leave when people began flocking towards the Blackjack tables. We saw Emmett sitting there but he didn't see us. We stayed and watched and it was pretty intense. When he won, it was so exciting. I think he must have got caught up in the moment when he kissed that … person."

I hand her another issue. I really hope and pray that's all there was to it. We didn't exactly stick around after the paparazzi showed up. Suddenly Rose covers her mouth and races to the bathroom. Seconds later she is retching into the toilet bowl. Alice and I hurry inside. I wet a washcloth and hand it to her once she finishes. Leaning back and sitting cross-legged on the floor, her head slumps forward and she softly groans.

"This is just fucking great," Rose whimpers.

"You probably have what Riley had," I say sympathetically.

Rose chuckles. "That's highly unlikely."

"I'll bet we're all going to get it," Alice comments. This causes Rose to laugh even harder.

"What's so funny?" I don't get what Rose finds so humorous about coming down with a nasty stomach bug.

"I'm pregnant!" she blurts out before leaning over the bowl again.

Alice and I look at each other in utter shock. Oh fuck!

"Are you sure?" Alice asks when Rose is done tossing her cookies.

Rose nods her head. "I was late so I took one of those home pregnancy tests yesterday and peed on the stick. A few minutes later 'PREGNANT' popped up! I was planning on surprising Emmett with the news while here in Vegas but I guess the surprise is on me."

"Oh honey, it's going to be okay," I murmur and remove my cell phone from my pocket and start dialing.

"Who are you calling?" Rose asks, her eyes widening with alarm. "Please don't call Emmett."

"I'm going to let the limo driver know that we won't need his services after all. Alice and I are staying here with you." I press 'send'.

"Oh no you don't!" Rose says scrambling to get up. She snatches the phone from my hands and turns it off. "We're going to the concert and that's final so no arguments. Let's get the hell out of here." Rose marches out of the bathroom with a steely look of determination written over her more familiar bitch-face.

Alice and I quickly follow her but not before Alice grabs the small metal garbage can. I give her a questioning expression.

Alice grimaces and whispers, "It might come in handy."

~StN~

While inside the limo the boys so thoughtfully arranged for us, I clip my VIP pass onto the belt loop of my jeans. I'm not so sure that coming to the concert is a good idea. Alice and I are sitting across from each other and watching Rose very closely. She is still wiping away the stray tears that continue to fall. The garbage can is wedged firmly between her legs. Thankfully it's a short ride to the Dome Center. There are literally thousands upon thousands of cars parked in the lots with dozens of buses lining its sides. The rock concert is a completely sold out event. We're dropped off at the private entrance at the rear of the building.

Even from inside the hallway, the sound is deafening. The screaming roar of the crowd echoes and intensifies as Bull Rant plays their first song. Moving quickly, the three of us arrive and stand off to the sidelines on the right side of the enormous stage where we cannot be seen. I peer out into the stadium and am utterly awed by the sheer number of people packed within as far as the eye can see.

Alice squeezes my hand and excitedly yells loudly in my ear, "Can you believe this?"

I simply nod because talking is much too difficult. Rose is still holding the garbage can. Standing tall and rigged beside us she is staring at and shooting daggers in Emmett's direction. While completely oblivious, he pounds away at his drums. Riley briefly looks up from his keyboards and flashes us a quick smile. Jasper is rocking back and forth on his heels. His head slowly bobs up and down; his eyes are closed as his fingers make love to the strings on his guitar. My eyes are drawn over to Edward who is front and center clutching and stroking his guitar. His rich voice mesmerizes me as he sings into the microphone. As if sensing my presence, Edward turns and gives me a wink. A huge smile stretches across my face for this incredible man who just so happens to be my dearest friend, most amazing lover and oh-so handsome husband. At this moment I am filled with so much pride and love for him that I could burst. I just want to run out, throw my arms around him and tackle him to the ground.

'And so does every other female here' my inner voice taunts me.

'Yeah maybe so, but I'll be the one in his bed tonight and every night from here on out' I stretch my hand out and smack her off her pedestal.

The song ends and blends smoothly into the next. I don't recognize this one. The opening chords resonate and touch me deep within. It is ethereal and haunting.

Edward speaks into the microphone, "Here's something new for our fans, off of our next album … hope you like it."

Pearls and swine, bereft of me

Long and weary, my road has been

I was lost in the cities alone in the hills

No sorrow or pity for leaving I feel, yeah

I am not your rolling wheels

I am the highway

I am not your carpet ride

I am the sky

Friends and liars, don't wait for me

'Cause I'll get on all by myself

I put millions of miles under my heels

And still too close to you I feel, yeah

I am not your rolling wheels

I am the highway

I am not your carpet ride

I am the sky

I am not your blowing wind

I am the lightning

I am not your autumn moon

I am the night, the night

And I am not your rolling wheels

I am the highway

I am not your carpet ride

I am the sky

But I am not your blowing wind

I am the lightning

I am not your autumn moon

I am the night, the night

Yeah

Yeah

Yeah

Yeah

Bull Rant plays another six songs before exiting the stage but is called back out for an encore by the continued cheers and stomping from their legions of fans.

Even over the loud music playing, I can hear it and the sound sends goose bumps up and down my arms. Ever so slowly I turn around and find Vicky standing there with her arms squared on her hips, yelling at the top of her lungs at Alice and Rose.

"What the fuck are you two doing here? Didn't I make it clear enough to you bitches that you were NOT going to be welcome!" Vicky snarls. "Now get the hell out before I have security throw you out!"

I think Vicky has lost her fucking mind. Who the hell does she think she is, yelling at my friends as if they were a couple of low-life groupies? Jasper and Emmett are going to go ballistic when they find out. But Vicky doesn't stop there. She swings and turns her wrath on me.

"What is it about you Isabella? Why is it that you are still here?" A hideous scowl distorts her face. "I don't get it. You're really quite ordinary … nothing special … you've ruined everything!"

I'm speechless. I don't know how to respond to her. She's bat shit crazy. What did I ruin?

Alice face looks as if she's been slapped and her tears threaten to spill. I then glance over at Rose. The sides of her mouth are tilting upwards into a menacing smile and she's assumed a protective stance. Oh no! I know that look and my friend is not about to back down. In fact, I'll bet she … and she does!

It's a bona fide catfight!

Rose lunges and jumps on top of Vicky taking her by surprise and starts pulling on her hair and throwing punches to her head. Not to be outdone, Vicky then pushes Rose's face with her hand and spits before tearing at her shirt. Incensed and inflamed, Rose yanks and rips out a good chunk of Vicky's flaming red hair. Vicky screams and grabs hold of Rose's shoulders, flipping her onto her back and pinning her to the ground.

"You are a fucking cunt!" Vicky screams.

"And you are a fucking loose-ass, catty-mouth bitch!" Rose yells from the top of her lungs and knees Vicky in the ass sending her flying forward.

Before Vicky can get up, Rose springs on top of her once again and hovers over her firmly holding her down. It looks as if Rose is about to say something when her mouth opens but the only thing that does come out is a steady stream of vomit.

Alice leans down and retrieves the garbage can, moving to hand it over to Rose. Rose shakes her head and smiles down sweetly at Vicky who is covered in her puke.

"No, I don't think I'll need that now Alice but thank you."

Exiting the main stage, the boy's mouths hang open at the site of Rose and Vicky.

"Damn I missed that!" Riley laughs. "Meow!"

"Rose baby, are you okay?" Emmett asks running over to his wife and helping her to her feet.

Rose says nothing but tenderly cups her husband's cheek with her left hand and smiles up at him sweetly. Leaning down to kiss her, Emmett suddenly grunts and doubles over after Rose swings her right arm all the way back and punches his stomach hard.

"I am now," she says sweetly and walks away.

Viva Las Vegas!

* * *

**A/N: Sadly, the Las Vegas trip has come to an end. But it was fun though, don't you think? What lies ahead when Edward and Bella return to Seattle? How about Emmett and Rose?**

**Hmm … I'd love to hear your thoughts and theories so please leave me a review Or if you don't like to write just give me a 'thumbs up' or 'thumbs down' … anything to let me know how you're feeling about Slim to None. **

**Bull Rant performed "I am the Highway" by Audioslave. Love it!**

**I am going to shamelessly pimp out my amazing Beta T, Lovin Rob's story called 'A Dry Heat'. I absolutely love, love LOVE this story. Check it out. I guarantee that you'll fall in love with Helios too! Fan Fiction story ID 8259969**

**Summary: When Bella moves from New York City to the California desert to care for her ailing grandmother she never expected that she would meet the man of her dreams. A man that would set her heart, body and soul on fire. But this man comes with a price, a heavy price. Will their love be able to survive the life he had before her or will it melt away in the dry heat.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns everything Twilight.**

**A/N: I really hope you're enjoying this story. FYI, without my Beta T, Lovin Rob, I honestly couldn't do it – thanks bb! Muwah **

**_Back to life … back to reality_ … Let's jump right in and see what's going on with our favorite couple since they've decided to give their marriage another go.**

* * *

Chapter Seventeen

"Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without." ~James C. Dobson

Bella

My eyes are fixed on the modern abstract painting hanging behind our therapist, Jessica Stanley's desk. When I last considered it's significance, I had been so consumed by my hurt and anger that all I could see when looking at the two rectangular shapes was that they were pushing up against each other, each vying to position itself against the other. Considering the state of my marriage at the time, it was an appropriate assessment.

The old adage 'time heals all wounds' springs to my mind. In Edward's and my case though, this happens to be true. A faint smile touches my lips as I glance over at my husband who is sitting closely beside me. I am in a much better place than I was back then. We both are. With spoken promises of love and devotion, I'm suddenly struck by how very differently things could have turned out for us. How tragic it would have been if we had allowed our love to slip away and simply vanish.

When interpreting the positions of the rectangular shapes given by the artist in the painting now, I have a much different perspective. The way I see it, they are supportive and leaning on each other for strength to help shoulder life's many burdens and tribulations. This is a revelation for me as united, I'm fairly certain that Edward and I will be able to face whatever is thrown our way. But separate and apart, we'd flounder and merely drift through the motions of living. Edward is my safe harbor and I am his. I'm overwhelmed with the intensity of my feelings for him.

I reach over and gently rest my hand on Edward's thigh. Flashing one of his radiant smiles, he clasps his hand over mine and laces our fingers together. Dr. Stanley should be here any minute. We've been told she is running a little late from having to pick up her sick child from school. I didn't know she was married let alone that she had a child but it does help explain the headbands.

Edward leans over and plants a chaste kiss on my lips. "I can't wait to see the look on the good doctor's face when we tell her our good news."

"What good news might that be?" I playfully tease.

"That in spite of the slim to none odds we were given, our marriage has survived," he says tugging on my hand. "Come over here wife," he says with carnal promise.

I melt hearing his smooth, sultry voice and I obey, quickly rising to my feet. Settling on his lap, I wrap my arms around his neck.

"This might be a dead give away when she walks in."

My mouth swoops down and claims his, my tongue slips in between his soft full lips. Running my fingers through the small hairs on the back of his neck, he moans and places his hand underneath my shirt, gently massaging my back. Now I'm the one moaning. We continue to kiss and fondle each other, lost in both time and place. All my attention is centered on my insatiable need and desire for this man that I love so dearly.

Since returning from Las Vegas two days ago, I've crossed the street and into Edward's ready and waiting arms quite a few times. I can't seem to get enough of him and vice versa. It's as if we're trying to make up for the past two months apart. If it weren't for Rose camping out in my spare bedroom, I have no doubt my nights would be spent with Edward as well. Hell, I probably would have packed my bags and moved back in with him already! But my friend is an emotional mess and is leaning on me for support. Rose is refusing to see Emmett, who is beside himself with grief, and I can't leave her alone. After all when I needed a friend, she was there for me. It's the least I can do until they patch things up. But I really hope it will be sooner rather than later.

The sound of throat clearing snaps us both out of our lust-induced trance. Reluctantly our lips part and together we turn to see Dr. Stanley enter the office. She doesn't appear to be surprised in the least to find me in Edward's arms. Slowly she sinks into her chair and lets out a long sigh.

"Well I'd apologize for keeping you two waiting but it seems you've found a way to occupy yourselves in my absence," she says leaning back to observe us more closely.

When I get up to return to my own chair, Edward playfully swats my bottom. "Bella can't seem to keep her hands off of my sexy body."

"Don't believe him Jessica. It's really the other way around. He's the octopus." I shake my head and chuckle.

"I take it the trip was a success … and in more ways than one?" She raises an eyebrow and knowingly smirks. "You both look very happy."

"We are," Edward and I both blurt out and smile in unison.

Jessica nods. "Have you taken my advice and abstained from sexual activity?"

Unable to mask the guilt written on our faces Edward and I look away and slowly shake our heads.

"We tried but …" I stammer, blushing profusely.

Edward takes a different approach. "Sex has never been an issue for us before so why should it be now? We have needs … why should we be forced to suffer?"

Now Jessica is the one shaking her head. "I guess I didn't explain my reasons very well. It's just that engaging in sexual relations before you've worked through your issues is going to make our sessions that much more difficult as we dig deeper and examine the reasons why you ended up here …" her voice trails off.

She lets out an audible sigh, "Please tell me you haven't moved back in together yet."

"No, we haven't," I assure her, relieved not to be chastised again and look over at Edward who is clearly irritated with both Jessica and now me. I know he wants me to come home.

"That's good. Hold off on that and try to control your hormones until I give you the go-ahead," Jessica chuckles.

Sorry Jessica but there's no fucking way Edward and I are going to be able to do that.

"Well I really am sorry to be late. It's not easy being a single-parent," she explains. "Eric's father always seems to be conveniently unavailable when I need him to step up to the plate."

"How old is your son?" I ask. "Your receptionist told us that he was sick. Is he alright?"

"He'll be fine and he's 6 going on 46," she laughs. "Eric was the only good thing to come out of my marriage."

"How is it that the good counselor ends up divorced? That's rather ironic, don't you think?" Edward asks sarcastically but doesn't stop there. "How can you counsel us when your own marriage failed?"

"Edward!" I swat his hand. I cannot believe he just said that out loud. I swear sometimes that man has no filter. "It's none of our business."

"That's okay Bella. I've often wondered that myself." Jessica admits, her face forlorn. "It all came down to the sad fact that we had different priorities and my husband wasn't willing to put in the work necessary to sustain and nurture our relationship. Falling in love was the easy part. Staying in love wasn't. That requires true commitment … in good times as well as the bad." She falls silent, reflective in her thoughts.

"Let me ask you both … are you finally ready to do that? Put in the work to rebuild and strengthen your marriage? Because after the pheromones have calmed down and you're not having mind-blowing sex 24/7, that's when real communication skills are going to be vital if you want to stay together and from what I've witnessed first-hand, that's not something either of you do very well."

Ouch! Why don't you tell us how you really feel?

"I've decided to drop my petition for divorce," I suddenly blurt out. This should clue her in as to how committed and serious I am.

"I love Edward and I can no longer disregard my feelings. He's a part of me and who I am. Wiping him out of my life would be like cutting off an arm or a leg. Without him I'd never be whole again. I've come to realize that and I want our marriage more than anything. I'm ready and willing to do my part."

I turn to face Edward who is grinning from ear to ear and continue, "Edward, I know that I have trust issues stemming from my childhood and I need to deal with them. But I'm going to take a huge leap of faith and meet you half way."

Edward leans over and kisses me. "Thank you," he whispers.

"I'm not surprised," Jessica says warmly. "The love was always there. All I did was help scratch the surface so you both could rediscover it. But now comes the hard part and I'm confident that in a few months, we'll …"

Edward interrupts her mid-sentence. "Wait just a second Jessica. Are you telling me that we need to continue with these sessions even after we've agreed to reconcile? I thought …"

This time Jessica cuts him off. "Do you want your marriage to succeed this time Edward? If so, the answer is an emphatic 'yes'. By continuing with counseling you will greatly improve your odds of not ending up back in divorce court. Isn't that what you want?"

"Yes … I mean no. You're confusing me," he mumbles and starts running his fingers through his hair. "I'm not comfortable with having my thoughts and feelings analyzed, peeled back like the layers of an onion only to end up wailing like a baby. I've seen what happens on Dr. Phil."

"Of course the choice is yours," Jessica solemnly says. "You have to want this and not merely go along with it because you think you have to. I promise I won't have you crying … very much."

Edward takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. Taking hold of my hand, he says, "Okay, I'll do it if it means I get to grow old with you Bella." Tenderly he kisses each of my fingers.

"I know we can do this Edward … we can do anything as long as we're together." I squeeze his hand.

"Wonderful!" Jessica exclaims and clasps her hands together. "Take out your notebooks. Let's get started, shall we?"

After the past half hour I'm convinced that Dr. Stanley – Jessica, has gone easy on us in our past sessions. My head is literally spinning and from the expression on Edward's face, so is his. I only hope there isn't going be a pop quiz at the end.

"Edward," Jessica snaps, reclaiming his full attention. "Can you think of 5 qualities that you bring to your marriage?"

Edward closes his eyes and scrunches his face. After a few seconds he reopens them. "What do you mean by 'qualities'? My personality traits or the things that I do? Can you be a little more specific?"

"Relax Edward, there is no right or wrong answer. Qualities can be anything you feel that adds value to your relationship, no matter how trivial," she says earnestly.

"Well I don't mean to brag but I'd have to say that I'm very sensitive to my wife's needs … especially in the bedroom. He glances in my direction and winks. "That's an important quality, right?"

"Yes, physical pleasure is an important component in a happy marriage but would you be surprised if I told you it wasn't the most important one?" she says and laughs as Edward's eyes widen in disbelief. "Open and consistent communication is #1. Think of another quality you possess."

"Sex is a guy's way of communicating," Edward off-handedly mutters under his breath but I hear him. I'm sure Jessica did too.

"Hmm … I have a great sense of humor. Bella is always laughing at me for one thing or another." He quickly adds, "And I'm tenacious … I don't give up easily. The fact that Bella agreed to go out with me after we first met is a testament to that," he chuckles.

He's right about that. My thoughts drift back to the very first time I laid eyes on Edward as he and Jessica continue talking. To say that Edward didn't make a good impression would be putting it mildly. His pick-up lines were lame at best and his cocky, arrogant attitude turned me off. He made me feel like some cheap whore when he peeled my clothes off with his eyes, even more so after suggesting that we go somewhere more private. All right … he didn't actually come out and say he wanted to have sex but the implication was there. The last thing I wanted was to be another notch on his belt regardless of how physically attractive I found him.

**Twenty months earlier …**

I cannot believe I am sitting on a barstool in the VIP room at the Auditorium Theatre. How did I let Alice talk me into coming this evening let alone wear these tight-fitting and uncomfortable clothes? No wonder Adonis at the other end of the bar hit on me like a common hooker. I'm really trying to concentrate and pay attention to Alice as she tells me how truly amazing and wonderful her new boyfriend, Jasper is but I'm having difficulty as I keep feeling 'his' eyes on me. My eyes dart over and find him having a conversation with a young man. I wonder if he's hit on him too.

After knowing Jasper only 3 weeks, I'd say Alice has it pretty bad. I say a silent prayer that he doesn't break her heart like the last guy did. Unlike me, Alice dives head first into everything she does giving little thought to the consequences … especially with relationships. Since I've known her she's been in and out of 'love' at least 15 or 20 times. I've lost count. As for me I've never been in love, not once… not even close. I've often wondered how I'll know if and when it happens to me. Will it be fast and furious as a lightening bolt strike or slower like a moving stream that gradually flows into rapid, raging waters?

Having lived through my parent's tumultuous marriage, I believe I have good reason to be cautious. The qualities I'm searching for in a mate are specific – love and trust being at the very top of that list. Alice continually tells me that my 'ideal man' could not possibly exist and that I should lower my standards or I'll forever be alone. Maybe she is right but considering my recent break-up with Mike, my boyfriend of three months, I'd rather be alone. He turned out to be a real winner. I only hope that he hasn't forever ruined sex for me because of what I experienced, or should I say didn't, with him. Mike had no clue as to what his mouth and fingers were for, let alone his dick. Would you believe he insisted that there had to be something seriously wrong with me when the big 'O' never materialized? Things turned ugly when I informed him that my previous boyfriend always gave it to me. Okay – yes it was Barney but Mike had it coming.

But this time Alice swears she has found the 'perfect' man for me. She cajoled and threatened me with bodily harm if I didn't agree to at least meet him. Only I just did and let's just say that he makes Mike look good, if that's even possible. Again I casually look over in his direction and this time his eyes catch mine. I can't help myself from silently mouthing 'fucking asshole' to him in an exaggerated manner. Instead of recoiling, I'm incensed when he responds by smiling. That son-of-a-bitch finds me amusing! Seconds later I'm horrified when he suddenly gets up, leaving the young man he was talking with and makes a path straight over to me.

In a contrite voice he says, "I don't believe we've met Isabella Swan. I'm Edward Cullen, formerly known as the 'fucking asshole'. Please accept my sincere apology for my lack of manners and most deplorable behavior. I'm not normally that much of a jerk. Can we please start over?" He then offers his hand for me to shake.

I'm prepared to flip him off once again with another curt and crude remark but I stop myself when his fingertips brush mine. I gasp when jolted by the surge of electricity I feel flowing between us … a bolt of lightening! This catches me completely off-guard and causes my heart to rapidly beat and flutter. Holy shit! What the hell was that?

"Bella … Bella?" Jessica waves her hand furiously in front of my face. "Have you not heard a single thing I've just said?"

"Um … I'm sorry, you were asking Edward about the qualities he brings to our marriage," I answer, hoping that is what is still being discussed before I zoned out.

Edward snickers beside me. He whispers, "Where were you just now?"

"Falling in love …" I touch his hand, feeling the always-present connection pulsing between us. I give him a shy smile and squeeze his hand once more.

"Well, I think we've covered quite a bit today," Jessica crosses her hands on top of her desk. "I want you to exchange notebooks. Take them home and read them."

Edward and I both stare at her in disbelief. Did I hear her correctly? My eyes blink rapidly and my breathing accelerates.

"I think at this point, it would be beneficial. Reading each other's responses to the questions I've given should be an enlightening experience. We'll cover this in our next session," Jessica rises from her chair and leads us over to the door but not before she pries the notebook from each of our hands and switches them.

Oh shit!

~StN~

Edward

Oh shit!

I should have anticipated that Jessica would pull a stunt like this – exchanging notebooks! Fuck! I wasn't exactly in my right mind when I wrote down some of that angsty, emo-shit and I certainly never intended for Bella to read it. I was counting on this being our last counseling session and then burning the damn thing.

My conscience glares at me. 'I told you not to put your feelings down on paper! Bella is going to think you are a fucking skitzo!'

Maybe I can switch the notebooks when Bella isn't looking …

'Good luck with that!' My conscience sneers before stomping off in a huff.

I glance over at Bella as I pull out of the Volvo dealership parking lot with Dave following close behind in his SUV. She has that dreamy, far-away look in her eyes and is clutching my notebook for dear life as if it was the goddamn Bible and she's just been fucking saved. Shit! I let out a long sigh and fidget with the radio, finally settling on a station when hearing a song that I can tolerate without cringing.

So tell me what you want to hear

Something that were like those years

I'm sick of all the insincere

So I'm gonna give all my secrets away

This time

Don't need another perfect line

Don't care if critics ever jump in line

I'm gonna give all my secrets away

I meant it when I told her I was going to take her car shopping. The Jacob 'I care so much more about you than your husband' VW Jetta is sitting in the driveway across the street from our house. It puts me in a foul mood whenever I see it. The sooner that son-of-a-bitch takes it back, the better. Yeah I know I had better drop the attitude towards her dear 'friend' but old habits die-hard and until I see with my own two eyes, a babe hanging on his arm, I won't be totally convinced he doesn't still want mine.

"I really love the car Edward," Bella gushes, giving me a huge smile. "But do you really think fire engine red was the best color to have chosen?"

"Absolutely," I automatically respond without hesitation. "Red cars are safest because they catch people's attention although statistically they're more likely to be pulled over for speeding

"Hey, I'm a good driver Edward," she is more than happy to inform me. "At least I've never had a ticket, unlike yourself."

"It was a speed trap and I fought it and won, don't you remember?" I snap. I really don't want to argue with her so I steer the conversation away from me.

"Are you sure you want the C30? It's a little on the small side but otherwise it's a great car. It's highly rated for their many safety features. But it's not too late to change your mind. We could go back …" I off-handedly suggest.

"It's perfect," she says interrupting me. "Just like you." She leans over and kisses my cheek.

'Love certainly is deaf, dumb and blind' my conscience taunts me. 'Explains an awful lot, doesn't it?'

'Fuck off' I toss him into the road and run him over.

"Hardly," I mutter and scowl; worried she might feel differently later. "If you'd like to keep up the illusion of my perfection, give me back my notebook." My hand reaches over to take it away from her.

"Oh no you don't Edward … doctor's orders" she narrows her eyes at me and quickly zips it away inside her backpack. "I can hardly wait to get back, put my feet up and dive right in."

"If that's the case we don't need to go to see Jenks, Bailey and Reeves after all," I sigh and put on my right turn signal, changing lanes so I can turn the car around.

"Um … yes we do," Bella says. "Nothing you wrote is going to change my mind and if you don't quit fooling around, we're going to be late."

"I'm giving you an out Bella. Are you're really sure you want to do this?" Saying a silent prayer that she still does, I quickly look her way and catch her nodding before steering the Volvo back into the left lane towards Seattle's upscale office district.

"All right, let's go do it then," I reach over and take hold of her hand.

An hour later, with my wife's hand still woven with mine, we exit the high-rise building. My shadow follows a discreet ten feet behind. We've just signed the legal documents necessary to drop the divorce petition from the court docket, much to the dismay of her lawyer, Jason Jenks. He seemed rather distraught over our reconciliation. I swear if he asked Bella one more time if she really wanted to withdraw her petition, I was going to deck him. I'm sure he was counting on a nice long, drawn-out messy divorce so he could finance his exorbitant lifestyle. But with the stroke of a pen we crushed his plans and ended that dark chapter in our lives. It's behind us now. Already I'm looking forward to our future and am making plans. Plans that I can't wait to share with my wife … _my wife!_

Bella digs for her cell phone in her backpack when it starts going off. While she's distracted, I veer the Volvo onto the exit for the northern-most edge of Seattle's city limits. Glancing into the rear-view mirror, I note that Dave is practically riding my ass. My eyes return to the stretch of road that lies ahead. How long before Bella realizes that we're going in the wrong direction? Will she be receptive to my latest brilliant idea? It's something I've toyed with for quite awhile but the timing was never right.

"Is everything okay?" I off-handedly ask as she places her phone back in her bag.

Bella shrugs and sighs. "It was Rose. She wants me to stop at the store and bring her back more Ben & Jerry's. I swear if she and Emmett don't work things out soon, she's going to get bigger than a house."

The thought of Rose with an enormous ass brings a smile to my face and makes me laugh. "I don't think it would matter to Emmett if she grew to be the size of an elephant."

Emmett would probably say something like 'there is more of her to love' or some bullshit like that. "Do you think she's ready to talk to him?"

Bella shakes her head. "Rose is hurt and angry but she has to speak to him eventually. She really has to. How about Emmett? What's the story with the woman from the casino?"

I squirm uncomfortably in my seat. The truth is that Emmett hasn't stopped talking about it with me. I know far more than I should but I can't break the guy-code and spill, not even to my wife. Emmett is the one who needs to speak up and come clean.

"He's really broken up by what happened. If Rose won't see him soon, I'm afraid he's going to have some sort of breakdown." I pat myself on the back for sidestepping her question by bringing up feelings rather than facts.

'You really think Bella is going drop it?' My conscience dusts off his clothes and wags his finger. I ignore him.

In my opinion I think Emmett might have been targeted and set-up, much like I was when I woke up in that hotel room several weeks ago. The similarities are frightening. Was it merely a coincidence or is something else going on? I've urged Emmett to confide in James and to come clean with Rose when she's ready to listen. I also suggested that he go to the police but he refused. He's embarrassed. I understand that. So was I. Looking back, I probably should have gone to the authorities and I definitely should have told Bella everything when I had the chance. It's too late now. I've often heard that secrets always have a way of exposing themselves when you least expect them to. I hope that mine never does.

"Hey! Where are we going?" Bella finally notices we're on an unfamiliar road. "Edward?"

"A surprise," I evasively reply. With my fingers I pretend to zip my lips closed.

"Seriously? You're not going to tell me?" Silently she pouts and looks out the window.

Rising high above Puget Sound, I follow the 12-mile stretch of road that leads to The Highlands, an upscale gated community where many of Seattle's most prominent families reside. Periodically Bella's eyes dart over my way, each time wider than before. Arriving at the gated archway, I whip out my cell phone. The recipient of my call answers right away.

"We're here," I say and hang up.

Seconds later the gate unlocks and slowly swings open. Dave parks off to the side, staying behind. After we pass through the gate closes. As we drive down the quiet residential roads, Bella's mouth falls open in awe. The private, exclusive neighborhood dates back to the early 1900's. Hundred foot trees and dense green foliage gives the area a mystical quality. There are numerous walking trails that lead to flowing creeks and sandy beaches. But most spectacular of all are the powder blue skies that hang over deep blue waters off in the distance.

Turning onto Scenic Drive, I continue until reaching the cul de sac and pull into the driveway of a pale yellow colonial with white trim. My first thought is that it resembles a New York Hampton-style beach house. Although at least a hundred years old, it's obvious that this home has been kept up and the grounds surrounding it meticulously maintained. There's a brick path with brightly colored wild flowers that lead to an antique wooden door. I park and shut off the Volvo's engine.

"Please keep an open mind Bella," I say and turn to face her. "I'd like for us to start over fresh and create the life we've always wanted. I don't want to waste anymore time. Our love has been tested and we've been given a second chance. Let's make our dreams come true."

As I continue talking, I'm painfully aware that she has yet to say anything. "I think its time we moved to a place where we feel safe and can raise our children. As we tour this property I want you to ask yourself this question, 'can I picture myself living here'?"

I close my eyes waiting for her response and take several long, deep breaths. A long minute of silence passes before I reopen them. When I finally do, I'm unprepared to see tears streaming down my beautiful wife's face.

Oh shit!

"Oh baby, I'm sorry. I'm so fucking stupid! We don't have to move if you don't want to," I quickly backtrack, upset with myself for upsetting her.

What was I thinking?

Why did I bring up having children?

Maybe it's too soon. The last thing I want to do is pressure her.

"Stop talking Edward," she says, her voice choked with emotion.

"I love that you're thinking of our future together and I already love this house!" Unsnapping her seatbelt, she quickly climbs over the console and into my lap. Throwing her arms around my neck she whispers, "I love you so fucking much."

"Right back at you Bella and I always will," I confess and plant a sweet kiss on her soft lips. "Let's go in and check it out."

~StN~

"So what are you thinking Mrs. Cullen?" I whisper softly, wrapping my arms around her waist pulling her back against my chest. "Can you picture us living here, making love in this very room every night?"

We've walked through the entire house and grounds and for the past five minutes or so, we've been looking through the triple-panel doors that open up to a private balcony. The sun is slowly making its descent over the shimmering waters of the Sound. Other than the woman in my arms, I don't think I've ever seen anything quite so beautiful. Nibbling gently on her earlobe, I begin swiveling her hips suggestively back and forth over my nether region.

"Hmm … I really don't know Mr. Cullen," Bella says letting out a breathy moan. Her hand reaches back and traces the outline of my growing erection with her palm. "I'm trying very _hard _to picture it but frankly it's eluding me." She squeezes my growing length and I reflexively swallow. "I think it might help if I had an actual image in my mind before making that determination."

I gasp. That's my girl … always willing and ready. She wants me to fuck her … right here, right now. I think I'm up for it.

"I believe I can help you with that," I murmur.

With skilled precision my fingers proceed to unzip her jeans. Lowering myself, I pull both her pants and panties down in one swift movement. Carefully I help her step out of them. Rising I take a step back to admire the view. She is truly a sight to behold and I'm a lucky man. My arms reach out to massage and cup her fine, shapely ass with the palm of my hand … so soft, so pliant.

"I hope you don't mind baby but this is going to be quick." I desperately need to be inside her.

Realizing that I'm too tall and she's too short for what I have in mind, I scan the bedroom and spot a padded step stool along side the big tall bed. Quickly I retrieve it.

"What about the realtor?" Bella asks suddenly panicked, remembering that we are not alone in the house.

"I don't want to fuck her," I say giving her a heated glance and placing the padded stool in front of the glass doors. Bella laughs.

"Stand on top of this baby." Offering her my hand, she gracefully climbs up so that now we're almost the same height.

Placing both my hands on her hips, I turn her around so she can take in the spectacular scenic view and pull her back towards my front. A moan escapes her throat when my fingers tweak and tug on her hardening nipples.

"I believe the realtor's exact words were and I quote, 'make yourselves at home'," my voice is five octaves higher as I do my best interpretation of a woman's voice.

Bella tries her best to contain her laughter but fails. But she immediately sobers when I unbutton my jeans and unleash my rock-hard cock from my boxer-briefs.

"Spread your legs and bend over baby," I order. "And put your hands on the door frame."

Bella does all that I ask and more. Reaching between her long legs, she fondles and squeezes my balls. Holy shit it feels so fucking good! Holding her body in place with my left hand resting on her waist, very slowly and deliberately I run my fingers down her bottom and slide them past her anus before circling her opening. She lets out a whimper when I insert a finger and then another into her slick, wet opening. Using my thumb I rub her swelling clit.

"Looks like you're ready for me baby," I breathe. Removing my fingers, I blend her wet juices with mine and pump my length up and down a few times.

"Brace yourself," I warn. With her sweet ass hanging in the air and both her arms stretched forward, she nods.

Aligning my tip with her entrance, slowly I sink inside of her. As long as I live, I swear I'll never grow tired of stretching and filling her warm, wet walls. It's my own personal heaven here on earth. When my cock can go any further, I still to savor this moment and of course, enjoy the view.

"Are you okay baby?" I ask with concern. This can't be the most comfortable position for her.

"Hmm … better than fine," she murmurs. "Fuck me Edward … please …"

I don't need anymore convincing. Withdrawing until only my tip is hidden, I grab hold of her and thrust my hips forward starting a slow, steady, rhythmic pace. I watch mesmerized as my cock plays hide and seek with her vagina. _Faster … harder._ Holy fuck! Feels so good! Bella moans and I can feel her body steadily building and climbing along with mine. The sounds she's making become louder with each passing second. I find myself trying to concentrate on anything other than my imminent orgasm so she can reach hers.

Sports … yes, I'll think of a sport! _In and out … faster … harder._ Golf! Golf is pretty dull. I try to visualize myself holding a long, thin shiny golf club. Swinging my arm back, I tap the side of the tiny white ball with my cock … no, no goddammit … the club. _In and out … faster … harder! _Try again Edward. Closing my eyes I focus on the little white ball and lift the golf club high in the air before slamming it down again – so fucking hard.

_**Thump!**_

Bella cries out loud. My eyes shoot open and I discover my shiny peen waving in the air, suddenly cold and all alone. I must have knocked my girl off the stool with my swing. I glance down to find her lying on the floor. Damn! Who knew golf could be such a dangerous sport?

Dropping to my knees I pick her up and cradle her in my arms. "Baby are you okay? I'm so sorry. I kind of got carried away."

"Shut up and finish Edward! I was so fucking close …" she whimpers and climbs into my lap, straddling and reclaiming my whimpering cock.

I simply nod. With my hands firmly affixed to her ass, I help lift and guide her up and down … _faster … harder_.

"God Bella, please tell me you're close baby," I plead. Sweat starts to drip down my neck. "How can I help?"

"Don't you dare stop … almost there!" she cries.

Clenching my teeth, I give her everything I have. I've become a lean, mean fucking machine.

"OH FUCK! EDWARD … EDWARD!" she screams as her orgasm rips through her.

Her walls clamp down tight around me and trigger my own release. "Oh Bella … baby … baby!" I cry out to her as I unload.

I wrap my arms around her and pull her on top of me so that we're spread out, lying on the plush rug. Hovering over me, she leans down and kisses my mouth.

"Hmm … that was nice," I whisper in my post-orgasmic haze.

"Yes it was, thank you," she says and softly laughs. "I think I can picture us living here now."

"Is everything all right up there? I heard something fall …"

Oh shit! It's the realtor.

"Couldn't be better!" I holler.

"Yea or nay on the house?" I quickly ask Bella and pull her lips back to mine.

"Oh yea!" Bella enthusiastically replies and hugs me tightly.

"Draw up the papers, we'll be right down," I yell to the realtor."

Home sweet home.

* * *

**A/N: So I thought we'd linger and bask a little longer in the afterglow of Edward and Bella's reconciliation. Ahh … anyone have a light for my ciggy? Should we stay here or move forward? What say you?**

**In case you're wondering, 'Secrets' by OneRepublic was playing on the Volvo's radio. **


	18. Chapter 18

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns everything Twilight.**

**A/N: A shout of thanks to My Beta T, Lovin Rob. **

**"**_**Reunited and it feels so good … Reunited 'cuz we understood**_

_**There's one perfect fit and sugar this one is it**_

_**We both are so excited 'cuz we're reunited …" **_

_**– a little ditty by Peaches and Herb that keeps playing in my head.**_

* * *

Chapter Eighteen

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years." Sam Kinison

Bella

_Beep … Beep … Beep … Beep_

No … no … NO! Fuck no!

The piercing noise of my alarm clock screams loud and wakes me up from a deep sleep. My hand reaches over and slaps it. I look at the time – 8:22. Rolling on my back, I hear the steady rhythmic breathing and intermittent snores of the person lying beside me. _Edward?_ But then I remember the all-night marathon with Rose. I'd really hoped to sneak out at some point during the night – maybe when she'd fallen asleep so I could climb into my husband's bed across the street but that wasn't meant to be. Rose talked and I listened until the wee hours of the morning until we both passed out from sheer exhaustion.

'Or maybe it was a food induced coma after you inhaled 3 pints of Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Therapy, Chubby Hubby and Karamel Sutra ice cream' the annoying little voice inside my head whispers.

'Rose devoured most of it' I tell myself but my bloated stomach says otherwise.

It might be time to whip out that yoga mat and forego sweets and junk food again. Unlike Rose, I can't use pregnancy as an excuse to pack on the extra pounds. And as much as we want children, I don't think either of us is ready for that monumental and life altering event to happen just yet. Hmm … I wonder if Edward would still love me if I were fat.

'Of course he would!' my inner voice says with mock indignation. 'And to prove his love he'd shower you with gifts such as a gym membership and confiscate all of your Ding Dongs and Ho Ho's.'

I leisurely stretch my hand over my pillow and knock her off her high horse.

What I really want is turn over and go back to sleep but I have work to do. So as not to disturb Rose, I quietly get up and close the bedroom door behind me.

Coffee!

With only two or three hours of sleep at best, I need some strong-ass coffee! In the kitchen I add a few extra scoops and set the coffee maker to brew. Soon the mouth-watering aroma permeates the house.

After fixing myself a cup, I fire up my MacBook and scan through my e-mail. Leigh has sent a slew of mail from readers desperate for my expert and unfaltering advice for my 'Dear Jane' column. I've also been given another two Cultural Arts & Entertainment assignments. Tomorrow I'm set to interview Northwest's most acclaimed non-fiction author and on Friday I'll be going backstage to watch a sneak preview of the Seattle Eclectic Dance Company's latest show so I can write a behind-the-scenes piece.

I click open an e-mail from Banner. After firing me last weekend he's been less curt and friendlier. Thanks to whatever Edward said to him, I was also able to negotiate a better salary before agreeing to be rehired.

-Original Message-

From: William Banner, Senior Editor

Sent: Wednesday, August 08, 2012 6:47 AM

To: Isabella Swan

Subject: Proposition

Hi Bella,

I'd appreciate it if you could stop in sometime today? There is something important that I'd like to discuss with you.

Thanks,

Bill

What could that be about? Maybe he's changed his mind and wants to fire me after all. No, that can't be it. He was really pleased with the articles I turned in on Bull Rant. I type a quick reply advising him I'll be in this afternoon.

There's also an e-mail from Jacob. I feel a twinge of guilt, as I haven't called to check on him since leaving for Las Vegas. He has no idea that Edward and I are back together. I wonder if he'll still be happy for me even after Edward messed up his face.

-Original Message-

From: Jacob Black

Sent: Tuesday, August 07, 2012 9:47 PM

To: Isabella Swan

Subject: Visit?

Hey Bella! I'm in Seattle staying with my friend. I'd like to sit down and discuss important something with you. I'll be stopping by sometime tomorrow if that's okay. Call me.

Jake

p.s. You'd better have a damn good reason for not staying in closer touch.

I glance up at the clock on the wall. It's 9:05. Knowing Jake he is probably still in bed. Instead of calling, I decide to send him a text instead.

Message to Jacob: 'Very important? Can't wait! Rose is staying with me. Long story. If we R out you know where I keep the spare key. Make yourself at home. B'

I smile remembering how Edward and I made ourselves at home yesterday when touring our dream house. My mind drifts and I close my eyes. Hmm … Edward. I fix myself another cup of coffee and call him. His phone rings and rings and just when I think it's going to voice mail, he answers.

"Morning baby, I missed you last night. You didn't come see me," he says, his breathing labored. "Did you read my notebook?"

What the hell is in that thing that has him all freaked out? I glance down at my backpack. "Unfortunately no I didn't. Did you read mine?" I whisper and hold my breath in anticipation of his answer.

Edward is silent for the longest time. Adrenaline spikes through my veins. Fuck, he did! I try to remember anything I may have written that could upset him. I had been brutally honest when answering Jessica's many questions and especially about how I was feeling. My feelings … my moods swung like a pendulum. He probably thinks I'm crazy.

"A little … you're a much better writer than I am," he admits releasing an audible sigh.

Relieved, I exhale and take a deep breath. He doesn't sound mad or upset. Or perhaps he doesn't want to get into it on the phone.

"Rose needed to vent so I stayed up with her all night and we had a really good talk. I think she might be coming around." I say changing the subject.

"I really thought the polar ice caps would melt first," he says, breathing hard into the phone.

"Why are you out of breath? Are you jerking off?" The image brings a smile to my face.

"Um … no, I've been walking pup for the last hour or so waiting for that son-of-a-bitch to unleash the mother load," he laughs. "But he's more interested in marking every damn street sign and mailbox." Pup starts barking fiercely.

"Damn fucking cat," Edward mutters. "Are you sure you want to keep him when we move? He's a real pain in the ass."

"Of course we're going to keep him! You shouldn't say things like that in front of him. You'll hurt his feelings and give him a complex," I admonish him. "He's so sweet and he literally worships you. He should have a real name."

"What's wrong with pup?" he asks. I'm almost certain he's rolling his eyes at my suggestion.

"He won't always be a cute little puppy," I argue. "He's going to be an impressive watch dog when he's full grown and 'pup' sounds silly. How about Brutus or maybe Max?"

In the distance I hear a woman's voice yelling and Edward swearing to himself in the background. I recognize the voice as being that of our neighbor, Mrs. Willard. What the hell is going on? I race over to the large picture window in the living room. I spot pup squatting over her flowerbed fertilizing it. She's waiving and flailing her arms in the air.

"I'm calling animal control on that beast!" she rants so loud that I don't need my phone to hear her. I'm certain the entire neighborhood has. "And then I'm calling homeland security to come get that terrorist parked in your driveway! You're not going to talk me out of it this time!"

Terrorist? She thinks Emmett is a terrorist?

"I'm sorry Mrs. Willard. I'll take care of it," he says attempting to pacify her.

I watch as she huffs and spins around, stomping back into her house. Edward bends down and picks up pup's poop with a plastic bag. I can't help but laugh just a little when I hear him gagging.

"Edward … Edward?" I call repeatedly into my phone. "Hey, I'm still here."

He puts the phone back to his ear. "I'm stopping by the realtor's office before the band has its meeting with James. I'm not so sure we can work with Vicky anymore. Listen baby, if I don't light a firecracker under Emmett's ass now, he's not going to budge. I have to go now."

The idea of no more Vicky brings a smile to my face.

"I have a meeting with Banner this afternoon," I pause before adding, "And Jacob is coming over later too … love you, bye." I press 'end' before he can say another word.

There is movement in the spare room. Rose is up. Moments later she runs to the bathroom and wretches violently into the toilet bowl. Waiting until she finishes, I crack the door open and peek inside. Her head is resting on the cover and her eyes are closed. Groaning and holding her stomach, she's whimpering.

"Oh God Bella, I've never been so sick," she cries, her voice hoarse. "The smell of your fucking coffee turned my stomach. Could you open the window?"

A cool gentle breeze blows inside diluting the wonderful coffee aroma. Sitting down beside her, I massage her tense shoulder muscles. She moans her approval.

"I don't know if I'm strong enough to do this," she says taking several cleansing breaths. "Would you believe that Emmett and I never discussed having children? I'm not sure how I feel about it let alone how he will. What if he doesn't want this baby? Can I do it alone or …"

Her words surprise me. They've been a couple as long as Edward and I have. How could the subject of babies never come up? Over the last several days Rose has opened up and confided some of the most personal and intimate details of their relationship, more than I'm comfortable knowing. I've learned that everyday before professing his undying love, Emmett brings his 'Rose' a single red rose and that he reads and writes poetry, often telling her she's his inspiration.

Who knew Emmett was such a romantic?

I also learned that Emmett is a little OCD. If the food on his plate touches or blends together, he won't eat it. I couldn't help but laugh when she said he often leaves the toilet seat up at night and that she's fallen in a few times. She even told me their favorite position during intercourse … reverse cowboy! Did I really need to know that? Now I'm having trouble getting that image of her riding him off into the sunset out of my head. Some things really ought to remain private. I'd probably die of embarrassment if some of the strange and quirky things I like to do were revealed.

"Rose you are the strongest woman I know and you are going to be an amazing mother." She lifts her head and gives me a weak, unconvincing smile. "But unless you actually talk to Emmett, you'll never know how he feels but I strongly suspect he is going to be thrilled."

Rose sits up some and watches me before closing her eyes, contemplating possibly. She better be contemplating talking to Emmett. I hope somehow that I've gotten through to her.

"Weren't you on the pill?" I ask, curiosity getting the better of me.

"I had to stop taking it over a year ago. The pill made me irritable and bitchy," she starts giggling when she catches my expression. "Yeah Bella … even bitchier than I normally am. I tried Depo Provera shots but I had break-through bleeding which was unbearable. So it was condoms when convenient and roulette when it wasn't."

That's just fucking crazy. I don't know how to respond. If they were that careless no wonder she's knocked up. To think Dr. Stanley doesn't believe Edward and I communicate very well … maybe I should give Rose her phone number.

"Won't the financial markets crash without you today?" I tease, rising to my feet.

"Ha ha … very funny. I have some work I can do from here." Stiff from sitting on the hard floor, she slowly gets up. "I'm starving. Is there any more ice cream left?"

_Dear Jane, I doubt you remember me but when I to wrote you last month, I didn't know what to do about my wonderful boyfriend. He had been acting strangely and was secretive and you had suggested that I sit down and have a talk with him. I want you to know that you gave me the courage and confidence to finally speak up and I'm glad that I did. But in doing so I spoiled his big surprise. You see, he was planning on proposing and had been making arrangements. That is why he had been so secretive. But when he saw how upset I was by his behavior, he dropped to his knee and proposed on the spot. Anyways, we're getting married and I just wanted to thank you. Signed, Paranoid girlfriend no more._

Yes I do remember her and also what I originally wrote but then erased. I shudder thinking how very different their outcome might have been if I'd sent that to her instead.

My inner voice wags her finger reminding me that 'things aren't always what they appear to be'.

No shit Sherlock.

Startled when my cell phone buzzes, I check to see who it is. Oh crap, it's Vicky! What in hells name does she want? Refusing to be intimated by her, I answer.

"Hello Vicky, to what do I owe this displeasure?"

"I guess I deserve that Bella. I'm probably the last person you expected to hear from but I'd really appreciate it if you could spare me a few minutes and meet me down at the Hive? There are some things I need to say to you."

Her friendly tone takes me back. It's the polar opposite from what I experienced in Las Vegas. I'd bet anything that her calling now has everything to do with the boys meeting with James this afternoon. She's probably hoping to smooth things over with them and hopes to use me in order to accomplish it.

"Whatever you have to say, can't you just tell me now?"

"Bella please … I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important."

Shit! What to do? It would be so easy for me to blow her off but on the other hand, she's done so much for the band. Should I turn the other cheek and be the better person? I glance up at the clock on the kitchen wall. It's almost noon. I could be over there within the hour and then swing by and see Banner.

"Alright Vicky, I'll be there shortly."

"Thank you Bella."

This must be my lucky day! Three people have asked to see me and all have said that it's important. Shutting off my laptop, I head to my bedroom to change my clothes. While in the hallway I overhear Rose on her cell phone and by the tone of her voice, I can tell she's angry. I really hope that it's not Emmett on the other end. After putting on a pair of jeans with less holes and a clean white V-neck, I stop in front of her door and listen. It's quiet so I knock.

"Can I come in?" I ask with bated breath.

"At your own risk," Rose says snidely. "You are not going to believe who just called me."

"Vicky?" I wince. Rose looks up at me surprised that I guessed correctly. "She called me as well and asked that I meet with her."

"That bitch has some nerve … of course I told her to fuck off," Rose snarls. Her phone pings. Picking it up, she reads the text.

"It's Alice. It appears Vicky called her too." She types a reply.

A few seconds later her phone vibrates again.

"Vicky asked Alice to come to the Hive as well but Alice says that she has meetings scheduled all afternoon and can't make it. You don't think she'd have gone otherwise, do you?"

"I'm going," I say point blank. "I have a few things I'd like to say to her too. Why don't you come with me?"

Rose stares at me as if I've gone mad.

"Wouldn't you like to see her grovel and beg for forgiveness? Aren't you the least bit curious?" I ask.

"You're serious? You're really going to see that bitch?" Rose frowns, her brows creasing.

"I shrug. "I have to go downtown anyways to meet with my editor so I might as well."

Abruptly closing her laptop, Rose sits up. "Well there is no fucking way I'm letting you go without having back-up. Who knows? This might be fun," she gives me a mischievous grin.

~StN~

As Rose weaves in and out of traffic, I fire off a quick text to Edward. 'Out with Rose. C U soon. xB'

I'd forgotten what a nerve-wracking experience it is driving with Rose. Normally it takes 20 minutes to get downtown but she does it in 12. I cringe and clutch the door handle when the traffic light at the busiest intersection is Seattle turns yellow and she floors it. Horns blare and tires screech as we sail through the now red light. I think I might have shit in my pants.

My phone buzzes with an incoming text from Edward. 'Ok – with Em. Just leaving the realtor for meeting with J. Luv U bb.'

When Rose pulls into a parking space I whisper a silent prayer of thanks to the Almighty and hope that I can somehow convince her to let me drive when we leave. As it's the lunch hour many people are exiting the building. Rose and I are waiting at the elevators when the doors open and Bree steps out. When she sees us, she gives us a warm smile.

"Hi Bella. Hi Rose," she says cheerfully. "Vicky is anxious to meet with you both. She's in the control room with Michele and Skip. Her new client, Noah Winters was recording this morning." Her eyes sparkle. "He's so dreamy."

"Thanks Bree," I reply. I really like her and I hope that she doesn't lose her job should Vicky suddenly leave the company.

"I'm getting Vicky's lunch now. Can I bring something back for either of you?" she politely asks.

"No thanks," Rose answers but then changes her mind. "If they have Cherry Garcia ice cream, could you pick me up a pint?"

I shake my head. The elevator opens and we step inside.

Before the doors close, Bree gushes, "What you did at the concert with Vicky, Rose … it was awesome! I've never seen anyone stand up to her like that."

"Well hurry back then." Rose gives her a wink.

Outside the control room, I peer inside through the narrow glass opening. The room is dimly lit and appears to be empty. If no one is inside, it should be locked but when Rose turns the door handle it swings open. Flipping on the light switch on the wall, the room immediately brightens. In the far corner, a very startled Skip quickly releases his arms from Vicky's waist. Clearly embarrassed, he gives us a quick nod before rushing out of the room. Vicky stands glaring at us.

Vicky and Skip? My mouth drops open. Rose smiles sweetly looking very much like the cat that ate the canary.

"Haven't you two ever heard of knocking?" Vicky snaps.

"Haven't you ever heard of locking the door?" Rose retorts. "But I'm sure you'll have a good explanation for James when we see him." She spins around and walks back towards the door.

"Wait!" Vicky's panicked voice cries out. She rushes over and grabs hold of Rose's arm. "Skip is a really good guy. It was my fault. I was upset and he was consoling me. That is what you saw, nothing more."

"Get your fucking hands off of me." Rose pries Vicky's hand loose and shoves her.

Taken by surprise, Vicky stumbles backwards but instead of falling on her ass, her hands reach back and take hold of the control panel. Steadying herself and blinking rapidly, a few tears escape and slide down her cheeks.

"I asked you both here to tell you that I'm sorry," she says in a contrite voice while straightening and smoothing her clothing. "I know I behaved horribly in Las Vegas and I never should have said the things that I did. I was wrong … there I said it." Her eyes dart nervously from Rose and then over to me. "I've been under a lot of pressure and I wanted everything to go smoothly …" her voice trails off. "Do you think you can find it in your hearts to forgive me?"

Frankly I'm stunned by her apology but from the look on Rose's face, she's skeptical and is watching Vicky very closely. Some people handle stress better than others, I reason. And as a woman trying to make her mark in the world, I understand she has to be tough. There is no argument that Vicky has done amazing things for the band. Who's to say someone else would do a better job? Maybe she deserves another chance and I should let bygones be bygones.

"Vicky, I guess it isn't totally your …" I start to say but am cut off when Rose starts clapping her hands.

"Bravo … that was quite the performance. I especially liked the tears. It added more depth and sincerity I think. But that little smirk on the corner of your mouth gave you away." Rose says sarcastically, a smile spreading across her beautiful face. "I'm not buying it and neither should you Bella. She's saying all the right things now because her ass is on the line but if she didn't fuck up so badly, I'll bet she'd be singing a different tune. Isn't that right Vicky?

My heart is beating a mile a minute and for a moment I think Vicky and Rose are going to get into another brawl as Vicky's entire demeanor instantly changes. Instead of being remorseful and apologetic, she's indignant and adversarial. They continue staring and assessing each other, neither one blinking or giving an inch. The tension that fills the room is palpable.

"Why don't you tell us how you _really_ feel Vicky?" Rose baits her.

~StN~

Edward

After depositing pup's poop into the trashcan, I casually stroll over and open the passenger side door of Emmett's car and slide inside. Pup darts between us and immediately starts licking Emmett's overgrown facial scruff with his wet tongue. Using it as a pillow, his head is resting on the wheel and his eyes are shut. He looks like shit. His stringy dark brown hair is covering his face and is in dire need of a wash. Wearing the same jeans and T-shirt that he wore on the plane his clothes reek. His car is facing the house across the street and he hasn't left my driveway in days. No matter how many times I've pleaded with him to come inside, he won't budge. Displaying stalker-like tendencies, he sits and waits for Rose to emerge.

No wonder our neighborhood busybody, Mrs. Willard, is suspicious of him. But then nothing gets past that woman - absolutely nothing. I smile to myself recalling the bogus mental disorder I made up when she put me on the spot. The skeptical and incredulous expression that washed over her prune-like face when I explained Emmett's 'disorder' was priceless. Shamelessly I spread the bullshit on real thick.

'_Vehicular Assinitis'_ I told her, is an irrational attachment to one's means of transportation that usually occurs with cars but has been known to happen with buses, trains or even planes. Psychiatrists are baffled as to the why but are leaning towards the theory that those who suffer from this malady were potty trained too late. It comes on suddenly and is triggered by a misfire of the brain's synopses and can take days, weeks or in severe cases – months for the episode to pass. And if separated from the object of their obsession, i.e. their car, convulsions or a major stroke can occur. I'm certain she later called her own shrink to question him or her ad nauseum.

"Em … wake up bud." I nudge his shoulder. He stirs and inhales sharply, snorting loudly.

"What?" he says as his eyes flutter open. "Rose?" He bolts upright, staring straight at the house ahead and when he sees no sign of her, he mutters, "Fuck, did I miss her?"

"No man, you didn't," I reassure him and watch his body visibly relax. "Why don't you come inside and get cleaned up and have something to eat?"

Checking out his self-made prison, I notice that there aren't any food wrappers or containers to suggest that he's eaten. Although the water bottles I gave him are lying empty on the floor. I shudder wondering where he's been relieving himself.

Emmett groans, squeezing the sides of his head together with his large hands. "I really fucked up Edward. My Rosie doesn't love me anymore," he lets out a muffled cry that resembles a wounded animal and wipes his falling tears. "I wish I never laid eyes on that woman."

Uncomfortable with what I perceive to be a sign of weakness that disturbs me on so many levels, I quickly turn my head away. Here we go again. Sitting back I close my eyes and listen as Emmett retells his woeful tale for the zillionth time. Maybe this time I'll catch something I might have missed before, some clue as to what actually happened.

"I was out for a walk and thought I'd stop in the Bellagio for a little gambling before returning to the sky loft. Edward, I'll swear on a stack of bibles that I didn't know that blonde chick before entering the casino. Inside we literally bumped into each other and I apologized to her believing it was my fault but now I have to wonder. She asked where I was rushing off to in such a hurry and I told her the blackjack tables. Well – you know what happened there. I never intentionally meant to kiss her … I was so excited to have won. Heck, I'd probably have kissed you if you were standing next to me. But what I don't understand is why the paparazzi were even there?" he pauses and sniffles, trying to compose himself.

I have my own theory as to why they were there. _'Any publicity is good publicity.' _

Taking a deep breath, he continues, "After cashing in my chips and wiring the money into my bank account, I gave the blonde $1000 for being my 'good luck charm'. She then asked if I would like to come up to her suite for a celebratory drink. When I informed her that I had a girlfriend and couldn't possibly go, she wouldn't take no for an answer. Then she told me her boyfriend would be there and that he'd want to meet me. The last thing I remember before waking was stepping inside her hotel room. I'm so fucking stupid! Why did I agree to go? I never even got her name." In frustration he smacks his head and whimpers some more.

"And you're positive you didn't see who hit you?" I ask. "Are you sure it wasn't the blonde?"

Emmett bobs his head. "Yes, I'm certain that she was in front of me. Maybe it was her boyfriend … I don't know. I never saw him. When I woke up, I was on the bed … completely naked and my head was pounding. I had a nasty bump here." He points to the lower left side of his thick skull. "The digital clock on the nightstand said it was 7:42 p.m. There are almost two fucking hours that I have no memory of Edward! They're a total blank," his voice anguished.

Yeah, I know what it feels like buddy. His tale is so eerily familiar.

"There was an open condom wrapper on the nightstand. I later found a soiled condom on the bed sheet. Could I really have fucked someone and not remembered it? I lay there for a while and tried to make sense of it all but couldn't. The room was dim and so very quiet. Whoever had been there was long gone. Somehow I made it back to our hotel. I couldn't even look Rose in the eye before leaving for the concert. Do you think she'll ever speak to me again?" He buries his face in his hands and I reach for the tissue box on the back seat.

"Not if she sees you in this condition," I let out a light-hearted laugh and hand him a tissue. "She'll take one whiff and run for the hills."

He blows his nose and sniffs his shirt. "Why the hell didn't you tell me I stink?"

I've only told him that about a hundred times. I roll my eyes at him. "We have a meeting with James and attendance is not optional. I'll drag you there myself if you don't cooperate," I threaten. Opening my door I say in a softer tone, "Come on, let's get you cleaned up."

Pup jumps up and runs to the front door. I breathe a sigh of relief when I hear the car door open and close behind me.

~StN~

I'm seated, situated between Emmett, who is sullen and quiet and Jasper who is trimming his fingernails with his teeth. James is in his high-back leather chair sitting behind the sleek modern desk looking as if he wished he were anywhere but there. No doubt he's in a tough spot. If he removes and assigns someone else to manage Bull Rant, Vicky will probably make his life a living hell. On the other hand, if he doesn't he'll lose his biggest client.

Riley is late as usual and comes rushing in out of breath and flushed. Closing his cell phone he unceremoniously plops down beside Jasper. I glance over and give him a quick nod. Immediately I notice he's not his normal cheerful self but seems rather preoccupied. He doesn't want to be here either.

James rises and walks across the room to close the door. "I don't like having to use Vicky's office for our meeting, especially under the circumstances but the IT guy finally showed and he's fixing the computer in my office," he grumbles.

"So … from what I've heard there were some problems in Las Vegas and you're upset with Vicky. Who wants to go first?" He sits back down and sighs heavily.

Jasper doesn't hesitate. "She made Alice cry, man. No one hurts my girl."

"She had no compassion for me whatsoever when I informed her I was going to die," Riley pouts. "Told me to suck it up."

Emmett jumps in, "Heck, Vicky physically attacked Rose. She made Rose so upset that she puked all over her. What's with that?"

"I have issues with her too," I add. "I suspect she's been feeding the press details of my private life to boost publicity for the band and tipping my whereabouts to the paparazzi. This is totally unacceptable."

"That's a serious allegation Edward," James frowns. "Do you have any proof to back it up?"

"No, not exactly but …" I'm interrupted when James' assistant, Laurent speaks over the office intercom.

"_Sorry boss but you have an urgent call from Nigel in London. Should I put him through?"_

"_Yes, please."_

"I'm sorry, this will just take a minute," James says as he presses the flashing light on Vicky's phone.

I'm guessing James must have pressed the wrong button because it's Rose's voice that booms out from the speakerphone.

What the fuck is going on?

"_Bravo … that was quite the performance. I especially liked the tears. It added more depth and sincerity I think. But that little smirk on the corner of your mouth gave you away. I'm not buying it and neither should you Bella. She's saying all the right things now because her ass is on the line but if she didn't fuck up so badly, I'll bet she'd be singing a different tune. Isn't that right Vicky?"_

Why are Rose and Bella here? Where are their voices coming from? The light bulb goes off in my head and I remember the hidden lever on the side of the control panel in the small room on the floor below. My band mates and James look at each other in confusion and lean forward.

"_Why don't you tell us how you really feel Vicky?"_

"_Always the snarling pit bull aren't you, Rose … why couldn't you be more docile like Bella or Alice? You want to know how I really feel? I'll be glad to clue you in as I know that neither of you will stick up for me with the boys no matter what I say."_

"_Rose, we should go …"_

"_Bella, Bella, Bella … the real question is why didn't you go? You threw in the towel on your marriage. Your divorce should have been final soon. But instead you wormed your way back into Edward's life and ruined everything … everything that I so brilliantly orchestrated."_

"_What did you do Vicky?"_

I think I'm going to be sick. My throat tightens and I feel light-headed, a result of being unable to breathe. I'm suddenly aware of four sets of eyes on me.

"_Eventually you would have driven him away with your insecurities Bella but I knew I had to do something when I overheard you inform him that you had stopped taking the pill. Edward shouldn't be married let alone saddled with a baby. So I had to take matters into my own hands so to speak. The girls phone numbers on his cell phone … the restaurant and motel receipts … even the soiled condom … Edward should thank me. Admit it Bella, he's just your meal ticket. You don't really love him. Otherwise you would have believed in him when he swore to you that he'd been a faithful husband." _

My fists clench at my sides. This is too much for me to handle. I want to run down there and wrap my hands around Vicky's throat but I can't seem to move. What the fuck is wrong with this cold-hearted bitch? Why did she do this to Bella and me?

"_You set him up? You're responsible for our break-up and all of the pain and heartache we've suffered! Edward was telling the truth all along … How could you do this Vicky? You had no right to meddle and involve yourself in our lives."_

"_I knew it! I had a feeling that somehow you were involved when their marriage started crumbling. Next you are going to convince us that Edward being single was for the good of the band? Good for his image, right? Tell me Vicky, were you planning on doing the same to Emmett and Jasper? Is that why you've been such a fucking bitch to me and Alice from day one?"_

"_What do you think is going to sell more … a single fuck- hot, sexy guy, his female fans think they have a shot at banging or a boring, settled –down married man with baggage. I can't sell that and expect to make any money. Emmett and Jasper should be out living the good life and partying with Edward with a different girl every night. Riley is the only one who has made it easy for me. But truthfully, that isn't the only reason why I wanted to put an end to Edward's mistake of a marriage."_

"_What are you saying Vicky? That you have a thing for my husband? I have news for you … so do thousands of other women. I accept that because it is never going to happen. It's me that he loves … me that he wants in his life… me that he fucks … only me."_

"_Oh really? Didn't Edward ever tell you about us Bella? He's an amazing lover. Oh … I'm sorry but by the look on your sweet face I can see that he never mentioned it."_

FUCK! Oh fuck, fuck, fuck fuck …. That stupid cunt! It seems she forgot to mention the fact that I didn't even know Bella when I made that huge mistake.

Not only are the four sets of eyes staring at me; their mouths have just hit the floor. James is openly glaring at me. Fuck, I hope he doesn't want to hit me.

"_She's lying Bella! Don't believe her. I don't want to listen to her bullshit anymore. Let's go."_

"_Wait just a minute Rose. I feel sorry for you Vicky. I really do because you are a heartless, soulless, sick, and twisted sociopath who doesn't have a clue what real love is. I'm going to pray night and day that James' eyes finally open and that he sees you for what you truly are … a skanky-ass hoe and that he kicks you to the curb where you belong. Now we can go Rose."_

"_Better start clearing out your desk bitch."_

"_We'll just see about that."_

The sound of footsteps and a sharp slap is followed by a door slamming. For the next few minutes, no one around me says a word. I'm both furious and numb at the same time. Vicky set me up. Vicky planted the evidence that almost led to the end of my marriage with the woman I love. She's fucking delusional if she believes that I'll have anything to do with her ever again. I only hope and pray that Bella allows me to explain before running back to Jenks, Bailey and Reeves.

"I've never been happier to be gay than I am right now," Riley comments and for once I think he might be onto something.

* * *

**A/N: Well I did ask if you wanted to move forward or linger in the afterglow of Edward & Bella's sweet reunion and most wanted to move forward. Okay, I sort of leaped but we're not done yet.**

**What do you think happens next? Give me your comments and theories in the form of a review and I'll respond by letting you know if you're hot or cold or somewhere in between. xC**


	19. Chapter 19

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns everything Twilight.**

**A/N: First things first … thanks for your expertise Beta T, Lovin Rob! Next … let's pick up where we left off, shall we?**

* * *

Chapter Nineteen

"There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn't stand for that." ~ Steve Martin

Bella

In all my life I've never been so angry as to actually resort to physical violence with anyone; that is until today when Vicky systematically pushed all of my buttons. The triumphant look on her smug face sent me over the edge. The palm of my right hand still stings from the force of it striking her cheek but I have to admit that in the moment it felt wonderful. My sudden burst of fury surprised not only myself but also Rose who practically did cartwheels as we left the building. But now I have to wonder if I should have just marched out of that room with my head held high.

Edward and Vicky? Could there be any truth to it?

Almost as if she could read my mind Rose swivels in her driver's seat and says, "You know I've never been Edward's biggest supporter but even I don't believe he would stoop so low as to have an affair with icky Vicky."

"It would explain the used condom I found in his pants," I mutter.

The adrenaline rush I'd just experienced just a few minutes earlier has evaporated and is replaced by the more familiar self-doubt.

"Don't even go there Bella. Vicky was yanking your chain and you're falling for it." Inserting the car key in the ignition she laughs, "It could have been anybody's. Who knows how many dudes she's done?"

"Ew … she's even doing poor Skip!" I add, scrunching my face as if I'd just smelled something rotten.

"Sleazy two-timing, hooty-infested, crusty vapid cunt, skanky-ass hoe … did I leave anything out?" Rose finishes and takes a deep breath.

We both break out into peels of much needed, therapeutic laughter.

"She did go to great lengths to sabotage our marriage." I comment, quickly putting on my seat belt. "Do you think she's in love with Edward?"

"Vicky is a fucking loon and like you told her, she doesn't have a clue as to what real love is." She then shakes her head. "Besides if Vicky knew the 'real' Edward, it's highly doubtful."

"Hey watch it, that's my man you've just insulted," I snort indignantly. "Edward is amazing in so many ways."

Giving me a skeptical sideways glance, Rose remarks, "If you say so but what I meant was, it's easy to love an illusion and maybe Vicky built him up into being this perfect man in her fucktarded mind but you and I both know that Edward is only human. He has flaws – lots of them I'll bet."

I roll my eyes at her. She does have a point though, not about his flaws but the illusion part. That's pretty much how I view Edward's delusional and obsessed female fans and how I've stayed managed to stay sane. FANtasy versus reality. That is what separates the psycho nut jobs from your typical fan. It appears Vicky falls into the first category.

I reach into my backpack for my cell phone when it starts to ring and inwardly cringe when Edward's name pops up on the caller ID screen. In my present state of mind, I let it go to voice mail. I don't want to talk with him, at least not yet. I need to think and process what I've learned first. My phone rings yet again. Certain that its Edward, this time I don't even check before slipping my phone back into my bag. Coincidentally Rose's phone goes off. By her expression after she glances at it, I'm almost positive it's Emmett. Shaking her head, she ignores his call too.

"I'll deal with him later," she mutters under her breath before asking me, "Do you still want to meet with your editor?"

Good question. Do I? What I really want is to go home but it would be unprofessional of me if I didn't meet with Banner after I told him I would. After all, he did say it was important.

"Yeah, I really shouldn't blow him off. I need my job," I answer and brace myself as Rose whips out of the parking lot and onto the busy street.

Between Banner's monosyllabic conversation basically offering me a permanent journalist position and Rose's kamikaze driving skills, it's only an hour later when Rose pulls into my driveway. She whips behind the borrowed VW Jetta. Parked next to it is a beat-up, black Chevy pick-up with Mariner stickers plastered all over its bumper. It's Jacob! In the turmoil of this afternoon, I'd completely forgotten about his coming over. Suddenly I'm anxious to run inside and fling my arms around my dear friend and hear his soothing, reassuring voice. Rose shuts off the engine.

"Expecting someone?" she turns and asks, raising a questioning eyebrow.

"Jake and I want you to be nice to him," I warn when seeing her frown. "He has something important he needs to discuss with me. I think it might have something to do with his new girlfriend. Maybe their relationship is getting serious. Maybe he's getting engaged!" I smile jumping ahead of myself.

Rose chuckles. "Um … no, I wouldn't hold my breath on that one. It's not legal in Washington State yet."

Her constant little jabs alluding to Jake's sexuality really irks me. "Rose, Jake likes girls. He's dated girls … lots of them."

_One date Jake … _

"Who's delusional now Bella? Jacob is a 25 year old male who hasn't had a single relationship with a woman that went farther than his asking the waiter for the check. Come on … connect the dots," she says.

"Even if he were gay, so what? Are you suddenly homophobic?" I won't admit it to Rose, but I've often wondered if Jake was gay myself.

"I can't believe you just said that to me," Rose feigns a hurt expression. "You know that my uncle Felix is gay and that I've marched in support of gay rights at gay pride parades with him and his partner Garrett many times. Trust me when I say this, Jake is gay. He just hasn't had the balls to come out yet."

"Regardless, that is his business." Picking up my backpack, I open the door and step out of the car. "But I think you're wrong."

"Care to place a wager on that?" She snidely asks as I slam the car door behind me and hurry to the front door. Rose quickly catches up to me.

Unzipping the small compartment in the front of my backpack, I take out my keys. But when I take hold of the door handle, I discover the door is already unlocked. Damn – Jake! I've asked him repeatedly to lock the doors. How difficult is that? It's only after stepping inside the living room and seeing Jake lying on the couch, unconscious and tied up, that I know something is terribly, terribly wrong. From behind I hear Rose's muffled scream but before I can react, a hand firmly covers my nose and mouth with a damp cloth. Immediately everything fades to black.

~StN~

Edward

An uncomfortable silence fills the office as James' eyes continue to probe mine seeking affirmation that I indeed had an affair with his fiancée. Reflexively I swallow and turn away essentially giving him his answer. Attempting to assuage my guilty-ass conscience, I reason that it was she who came onto me, not the other way around. I was single at the time and it only occurred once, besides Vicky was the one in a relationship. She knew what she was doing. Will that explanation matter to James? Would it matter to me if the shoe were on the other foot? Not very likely. More importantly, will it matter to Bella when I tell her the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the fucking truth? Please help me God!

"_This will be our little secret."_

Damn you Vicky for putting me in this situation. Hell, fuck me for putting myself in this situation.

"Would everyone mind stepping out of the office for a minute or two?" James asks, never taking his stern eyes off of me.

I exhale and breathe a sigh of relief. Following my friends lead, I rise from my chair to leave but freeze when James' steely voice calls out to me.

"Not so fast Edward. You stay," he says, his voice sounding oddly calm.

Shit! This can't be good. Jasper and Riley make a beeline for the door while Emmett hangs back unsure whether he should leave the two of us alone together. I give him a quick nod and he closes the door behind him.

Slithering myself as far down in the chair as I can, I take a deep breath before diving in. "James, it's not as bad as you think … strike that. All right it is but it only happened one time, I swear. It wasn't an on-going thing." I pause to assess his reaction.

His poker face gives nothing away so cautiously I continue. "Listen … she made a pass and I'm ashamed to admit that in a moment of weakness I …"

"Stop right there," James interrupts suddenly. "I want to know three things. When … where … and what exactly happened. Don't spare me the details. Give it to me straight."

"James, I …" My throat feels drier than Death Valley at high noon. "Shouldn't you be asking Vicky those questions?"

"Oh I fully intend to but I'd like to hear your side so I can compare notes." He leans back in his chair and closes his eyes. If I didn't know any better, I'd think he was about to take a nap. "Please continue."

"Nearly two years ago. In the control room," I blurt out quickly and brace myself for James' wrath I believe is sure to follow, mainly his springing from his chair and pouncing on me.

"She blew me," I add. James noticeably flinches.

"Is there more?" he tentatively asks loosening the collar of his shirt. "Did you fuck her?"

"Yes, just that once," I whisper, "She gave me head and then we had, you know…" I sigh, "We had sex against the control panel."

His breath quickens and his eyes remain closed as he tilts his head to the side. Fuck, I just can't shake the feeling that he is getting ready to attack me. Hell, I would attack me if I were him. Why the fuck did I do it with her in the first place? What was I thinking?

'You weren't' my conscience points out.

"I'm sorry James." That sounds pathetic even to me.

"I see," he replies in an eerily calm voice. "I appreciate your honesty."

What the fuck? Isn't he going to mess up my face? I'm at a loss as to how I should respond.

James lets out a long sigh. "I really should thank you. It appears that I've dodged a bullet." Pressing the intercom he instructs Bree to have the boys come back inside.

I can tell that my friends are surprised to find me still in one piece with not even a single hair out of place when they return to their seats. Riley winks and smirks at me while Jasper covers his mouth straining not to laugh at my predicament. Emmett wisely remains quiet.

James rubs the sides of his temples with his fingertips and rolls his shoulders back relieving his obvious tension before straightening in his chair.

"Up until now Visions Management and Bull Rant have had a beautiful working relationship and I see no reason why it can't continue."

Jasper vigorously shakes his head. "James, I believe I speak for all of us when I tell you that the status quo is not acceptable."

"Hear me out … please," James implores.

As if on cue, the door swings open and Vicky stands in the doorway looking half-crazed.

"I've decided to reassign Bull Rants management over to the expert guidance of Aro Volturi." James gives Vicky a forced smile. "Why don't you come join us sweetheart?" his cheerful tone masks his icy exterior.

"James you can't do that! Not without first giving me a chance to explain and apologize."

An angry and flustered Vicky marches inside and quickly moves behind her desk lessening the gap between herself and her fiancé.

"Oh I think we're done here," James says coolly gazing up at her with ambivalence, not giving an inch.

Rising from his chair, James extends and offers his hand. "I'd like to thank you all for coming in today … Edward, Emmett, Jasper … Riley. I'm glad that we were able to work this out. I trust we're good now?" One by one we nod and shake his hand while purposefully avoiding eye contact with Vicky.

"Now if you will excuse me, I'd like to have a word with Miss Smith," he says impassively.

Giving it her all, Vicky rushes over to the door effectively blocking our exit. "Edward … please! Tell James how well we work together. Jasper … Emmett … Riley! I love you guys …" Her fingers grab hold of my arm and I shake her loose.

"It appears some more than others," Jasper off-handedly jests and I really want to smack him, so I do.

"Enough!" James hollers, his fist slamming down on the desktop. "Stand aside. Let them leave." Stunned by the unexpected fury in his voice, Vicky recoils.

As soon as I step out of the office, I whip my cell phone out of my pants and call Bella. Please, please, please pick up! Shit! I fucking hate voice mail. I press send again with the same disappointing results. Maybe she hasn't left the building yet. I rush over to the window and scan the parking lot just in time to see Rose's car backing out of a parking space. Shit, shit!

I turn around and lean back against the wall near the window. Emmett is staring blankly at his cell phone willing it to ring. Riley is animatedly chatting with Bree at her desk. Jasper sits beside Dave on the couch on the other side of the room, periodically looking my way and shaking his head. After the little bombshell that was just dropped in our meeting, I've no doubt that he as well as the others will want all the juicy details of my sexcapades with Vicky. But my lips are sealed. They'll have to pry it out of me with a crowbar.

Dave is … well, being Dave and is observing everything and everyone as he always does. He gives me a curt nod. I've never known anyone to be as intensely focused as he is. I wonder if he ever relaxes or if he even knows how to. But now that the mystery of who is responsible for making me look like a cheater has been solved, I doubt I'll need Dave's services anymore.

My conscience picks up the bullhorn and bombards me with questions …'Was Vicky also responsible for your being drugged and waking up inside room #517 of the Hyatt Regency with a woman? And if she was, why hadn't she thrown it in Bella's face when she had the chance? That Molotov cocktail would most definitely have incinerated your marriage. And what about Emmett? Is it merely coincidence that he has an incident with a blonde bombshell and can't remember a damn thing or is his experience somehow related to yours?'

Someone got too close to me. Way too close. I remind myself that was the reason why I hired a bodyguard in the first place. And until I know the answers to these troubling questions, Dave stays. I fully intend to find out if Vicky had a hand in any of the other bullshit. I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that someone I trusted betrayed me in the worst possible way. I'm tempted to knock down the door and storm back inside but from the anguished cries and muffled voices coming from within her office, I decide to hang back and bide my time.

Riley pats Bree's shoulder and makes an announcement. "Pizza's have been ordered. I really think we ought to give those two some privacy and get in a practice session while we're all here."

Is he out of his fucking mind? Food and work at a time like this?

As if reading my thoughts, he looks directly at me and answers, "Come on man, it'll help take your mind off of this shit for a little while at least. You can have it out with her later."

"Did you say pizza? I'm starving." Emmett perks up at the mention of food. "I think I can eat a whole pie by myself!"

Reluctantly I follow my band mates to the recording room on the floor below.

Its late afternoon by the time I put down my guitar and place it back in its case. Riley was right. My music always puts me in a better place. With only a few more songs left to record, it seems we're going to make our target release date for the new album. As for the tour that follows, I'm determined that Bella will come with me. We've spent far too much time apart. Moving off to the corner of the room so I can be alone, I call her cell phone yet again. In between our quick breaks, I've tried to get a hold of her repeatedly but with no success. I'm really beginning to worry.

Although I'd much prefer to hear her the sound of her voice to gauge how much trouble I'm actually in, I settle and send her a text message, 'I have to see U – b over soon …it's important. I luv U! xxooE'

Inside the small control room, Michele, Skip, James and of course, Dave is patiently waiting for us to join them. My eyes dart over to the glass partition that separates both rooms and I glance over at James. His somber, ashen face tells me all that I need to know. I'm overcome with regret and remorse for my part in the damage that I've caused. James has always been good to me and this is how I repay him. I'm such an asshole. I have to get the hell out of here. I can't handle being here another minute and so I hurry towards the exit. James intercepts me before I can make my escape and steers me away from the others.

"Vicky's cheated before. You weren't the first or the last. We're over and she no longer works here," he explains, letting me off the hook. "I just wanted you to know that I don't hold you responsible. I really wanted to believe that she had changed but now I know better. She went too far this time when fucking with your marriage."

I exhale loudly and run my fingers through my hair. "I really am sorry James."

My cell phone buzzes and hoping that it's Bella, I dig it out of my pocket. As I scan the text, all of the air is sucked from my lungs like a vacuum and I'm struggling for breath. I think I might be having a heart attack. Bending over I grab hold of my knees to steady myself. Seeing my reaction James pries my phone out of my hands and reads the message out loud.

'Hello Edward, Did you think I'd forgotten about you? I've taken your pretty little wife and if you ever want to see her alive again it is going to cost you $5 million dollars …'

~StN~

Bella

Ever so slowly the fog lifts and awareness returns. Weighed down by a crushing fatigue, I'm unable to move my limbs. My eyes flutter beneath lids that won't rise. A strange taste lingers on my tongue. The floor I lay on is cold and hard. Hushed voices float from far away.

What is wrong with me?

Where am I?

My mind struggles to replay the last images I can recall. The front door unlocked … Jake lying on the couch unconscious and tethered … Rose's scream … arms grabbing me from behind and a hand covering my mouth.

Trying hard to focus, I will myself to move my hands but only my fingers respond. My arms are uncomfortably pulled behind my back and restrained at the wrists, tied together with what feels like rope. With the tiniest bit of slack, I'm able to twist them slightly. I then concentrate on moving my legs. My left thigh is resting on my right and I'm curled on my side. I'm unable to move them separately as my ankles are tied together as well.

Again I try opening my eyes and am relieved when this time they respond. Through narrowed slits I take in my surroundings. There are thin strips of light that alternate with wide dark shadows across the rough, uneven dirt floor. It's a cavernous room … a warehouse of some sort, I think. Without lifting my head, my eyes trace the gray metal wall to an opening … a hallway and it casts the only other discernible light. High above are long metal beams that crisscross the entire structure. Straight ahead off in the shadows is the outline of what appears to be a large watercraft resting on pillars, its sides gaping with holes. My ear catches the sound of water lapping against a pier or maybe rocks off in the distance.

Am I alone?

My garbled cries stay trapped in my throat. Duct tape seals my mouth shut. Tears spill from my eyes and fall down my cheek. Panic threatens to overwhelm and consume me. I fight to keep my head together and not surrender to fear. If I have any chance of getting out of here, I'll need to keep my shit together.

'_Eeemmmmmmmmm'_

I hear a muted voice coming from somewhere close by. When raising my head to find its source, I'm struck by a dizzying bout of vertigo followed by nausea. I close my eyes and lower my head back down, forcing myself to swallow my vomit. Groaning, I lay very still until the spinning starts to subside.

'_Hhhhhhhhheeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrre eeeeeee'_

The muffled voice belongs to Jake! I'm sure of it. Straightening my knees, I open my eyes and slowly roll to my other side. Facing the metal wall, I discover my friends are also tied and lying on the floor. Rose is on my left side, still unconscious. Jake is directly in front of me, awake and squirming against his restraints. When our eyes meet he lifts his head gesturing for me to roll again. As I do, he turns as well. With our backs now propped against each other, his fingers work to loosen the knot tied around my wrist. Minutes pass and he hasn't made any more progress than when he began.

'_Uuuugghhhhhh'_

Rose moans and begins to stir. Facing the opposite direction, she cannot see either of us. My garbled voice reassures her that she's not alone. Jake continues working on the knot until hearing the sounds of footsteps approaching from the hallway. Without warning he lets go of my wrist and pushes his foot against my inner thigh to put distance between us. A jolt of pain shoots down my leg. I cry out just as the voices of a man and woman speaking in a foreign language moves ever closer.

"Они бодрствуют теперь." A man's voice says.

"Я сделаю весь разговор." A woman responds.

Standing no more than five feet away is a very attractive couple in their late twenties or early thirties. It's hard to tell in the dim light. The man is very tall and has a lean muscular build, sharp facial features and short dark brown hair. He's meticulously groomed wearing a well-fitted suit with a light shirt and tie. If I didn't know better I'd have thought he had stepped right off the pages of GQ or Vogue magazine. Like her companion, the woman is also stylishly dressed and I can't believe the first thing that pops in my head is how Alice would definitely approve. Wearing ridiculously high designer pumps that push her height to at least 6', tight black leggings, a long jacket that shapes to her perfect body and ending mid-thigh with a silk camisole beneath, she is stunning. Her long straight blonde hair is swept into an up-do off of her neck and showcases her model face. I know that I've seen her before but where? A magazine ad? A movie?

"Welcome my guests," the blonde woman says warmly with a trace of an Eastern European accent. "Since we'll be spending the next 24 hours together, let me introduce myself. I am Tanya and this beautiful man is my boyfriend, Dimitri."

Tanya walks over to the wall and flips the light switch. A row of overhead lights flicker on. "That's much better, don't you think so?"

Dimitri laughs and it's a dark sinister sound that echoes. "They can't answer you darling."

Amused, she giggles and wraps her arms around his waist. "Oops, I forgot. Thank you for reminding me my love. Would you be so kind as to help Rose, Jake and Bella sit up so that we can all see each other better?"

My eyes widen with surprise. She seems to know who I am as well as my friends. Tanya catches my expression and smiles.

Dimitri walks past me and lifts Rose so that she's propped against the wall. She lets out a protesting groan. Roughly he does the same to Jake before his hands drag me backwards. A handgun peeks out from inside his jacket. My head leans back against the cool metal.

Yeah, so much for this being my lucky day. First Vicky and now this fucking shit … what's next? Hannibal Lector showing up with his fork?

"I'm sure you are wondering why you are here. It's very simple, really." Like the predator she is, very slowly Tanya begins pacing back and forth. "I'd call this a 'business transaction'. We have a commodity, something that your loved ones want, namely you, and if they want you back they must pay us."

Dimitri snickers. "Tell them what happens if they do not."

"Of course, they will pay. You worry too much my love," Tanya strokes his cheek tenderly. "Let's not concern them with the worst-case scenario. Rose knows that Emmett is crazy in-love with her and that there is no truth to the tabloid stories and pictures of him kissing me in Las Vegas. Isn't that right, Rose?"

Oh … fuck!

My throat constricts. The wheels in my head begin to turn and the pieces of the puzzle start falling together. This vile creature … this con artist, set Emmett up! It was no accident that she was by his side at the blackjack table. I'd bet my life that she tipped off the paparazzi to photograph them together too. But why?

It's obvious that her lover is the jealous type as Dimitri growls his displeasure when she mentions kissing Emmett. Roughly he takes hold of Tanya by the waist and whispers something into her ear before swooping down and kissing her passionately.

Breaking away, I hear her reassuring him that they'll be 'together soon'. Since they already are together, I'm assuming she means 'together' as in having sex.

"And Jacob … I'm sorry but we had to settle for you when I wasn't able to get close enough to Jasper." Tanya slowly shakes her head. "Doesn't that man do anything other than stay inside his apartment and play video games and watch baseball? What a boring creature he is."

"Tanya, if we waited a little longer, I'm sure I could have nabbed his woman. He would have paid even if we didn't have anything on him," Dimitri says apologetically.

"No my love … they were getting too close," she says softly. "We had no choice but to make our move now."

Dimitri looks at Jacob with revulsion and disgust. "You had better hope that you mean more to your boy toy than just a good fuck."

Tanya places her hand on her boyfriends arm. "From the videos you took of them together inside Riley's apartment over the past few weeks … the warm embraces and passionate kisses not to mention their marathon lovemaking, I'd say it's definitely more … much more." Tanya walks over to Jacob and lowers herself so they are face to face. "So tell me, when were you going to let your family and friends know that you have finally found love?"

Jake closes his eyes and breathes in deeply. Holy shit! Rose was right all along! Jake and Riley _are_ a couple? Never in my wildest dreams would I have paired those two together even if I had known Jake was gay. Their personalities are so very different. Riley is spontaneous and carefree, always the proverbial player where Jake is more serious, steadfast and loyal. But perhaps Riley finally found the person he was searching for in Jake. And I've never known two kinder souls. Maybe Jake was ready to take that monumental step and come out. This must have been the important conversation Jake wanted to have with me. That's all I ever wanted for my friend … for him to be happy.

"Ah, beautiful Bella," Tanya's voice caressing my name brings me back from my thoughts. "I have to tell you that I particularly enjoyed the time I spent with Edward. Other than my Dimitri, he is the most handsome man I've ever laid eyes on. I assure you it was very much my pleasure."

My eyes dart over to Dimitri who doesn't look particularly pleased to hear his girlfriend saying those words to me. I think I'm going to be sick again. What did she do to Edward? More pieces of the puzzle snap together … the paparazzi pictures of him on the Internet with the blonde on his lap and him being drugged. I can't quite figure out why they needed to do that to him though. What am I missing here?

It suddenly dawns on me that it was never Edward who was in danger but me. But that doesn't make sense, as it was well known that Edward and I were in the process of divorcing when that occurred. Did they really believe Edward would pay to have his ex-wife returned or did they actually know that he still loved me? Systematically, one by one these two have been scheming and planning to take us as hostages all along. Tanya and Dimitri are counting on the boys love for us to fill their bank account. They know that they would do anything for us, especially if they thought they had already lost us.

"So now that we've all been properly introduced and you understand why you're here, as your hostess I'm going to have Dimitri remove the duct tape from your mouths so we can all get better acquainted," she says malevolently. "But don't get any bright ideas like screaming. It won't help at all. We're miles away from the nearest town. All it will do is piss me off and give me a migraine and trust me, you really don't want to see me angry."

I have no doubt about that because Tanya is one sick fuck.

~StN~

Edward

Closing my eyes I say a quick prayer to God, assuming there is one and that he actually gives a shit. After all I reason, it can't hurt. I bargain with the man upstairs for Bella's safe return. If He can see fit to do this for me … bring her back alive and in one piece, I'll start going to church every Sunday … um … every other Sunday and I'll confess all my carnal sins to my wife … and list all of the woman, married and unmarried, that I've been with since I lost my virginity … no more secrets of any kind. I'll be an open book.

'Like in the notebook?' my conscience mocks reverently on bended knee.

'No smartass,' I give him good swift kick in the balls sending him flying over the goal post.

Abruptly I'm brought out of my Zen-like trance by the snapping of fingers in my face. Opening my eyes, it's Dave who is desperately trying to get my attention. A wave of guilt washes over me. I should have had Dave follow and protect Bella, not my sorry ass. What kind of husband am I?

"Edward, sir!" Dave urgently says. "It's imperative that you cooperate with me. The first few hours are crucial if we have any chance of finding your wife and her friends."

Say that again? What did I miss?

"Bella's been kidnapped," I whisper, still in shock.

"Yes sir, and so has Rosalie Hale and Jacob Black," Dave says in an authoritative voice. "I'll need to question everyone involved immediately. I can't emphasize this enough. Time is of the essence sir."

It's only then that I look over my shoulder to see a very distraught Emmett clutching an equally inconsolable Riley. What's with that?

"No …. I have to go search for Bella." My numb mind is scrambling to decide where I should search first. "If you want someone to question, go arrest Vicky. I'll bet my left nut that fucking cunt is knee-deep involved in this shit."

"Edward!" James says forcefully and shakes his head. "Vicky may be a lying, manipulative whore but she is not involved with this." He sighs for a moment before continuing, "You cannot possibly handle this yourself. Leave it to the professionals, like Agent Coulter."

"Agent Coulter? As in my bodyguard Dave?" I mindlessly repeat.

Dave whips out his wallet and flips it open revealing a shiny metal badge and ID card with his picture plastered on it. He's not even fucking smile in it. Yep, it's him all right.

"Yes Edward, sir. I am Agent David Emerson Coulter, Special Investigative Unit, 4th Division of the Federal Bureau of Investigation at your service. If you'll just follow me."

"Wait just a minute bud …" I shake my head suddenly fully alert and feeling pissed off for having been deceived. "I hired a bodyguard, not a fucking secret agent. How the hell did I end up with you?"

"I called him," James volunteers. "After that little incident where my biggest client was drugged and woke up naked in a hotel bed, I contacted my college fraternity brother, Warren Ketner who holds a high ranking position within the FBI."

"What Mr. Demers – James described spiked the interest of my superior. It fit the MO of two of our Most Wanted, Tanya Orlov and her accomplice, Dimitri Gorchakov. They had disappeared off of our radar a little over two months ago. Their last known whereabouts were somewhere in the Pacific Northwest," Dave spouts off before pausing. "I was assigned to observe and protect you."

"Who the fuck is Tanya what's her name and that dick, Dimitri whatever? Why does the FBI want them?" I swallow unsure if I really want to know the answer.

"Kidnapping is their specialty … more specifically high profile kidnappings," he looks away. "They are cold-blooded killers. If they don't get what they ask for, when they ask for it, they won't hesitate in disposing of their victims." Dave stops talking and suddenly turns away.

What isn't he telling me?

"Then what the hell are we doing standing around here for?" I bark. "Let's get moving Agent Coulter."

I grab my cell phone from James' hand and read the text message again.

'Hello Edward, Did you think I'd forgotten about you? I've taken your pretty little wife and if you ever want to see her alive again it is going to cost you $5 million dollars … you have exactly 24 hours and not a minute more or she will be fish food. No police or she's dead. Here is an added incentive for you to handle this quickly. Here is the first of many photos to follow … I'll be in touch. T'

* * *

**A/N: ** **Surprised? Still think Vicky is involved? Or have Edward and Bella been double whammied? Oh the possibilities!**

**Although I have things lined up as we approach the end of our story, I am curious what you think might happen and if you are on target with what I have been doing. I could be swayed to save or not save a character or two *wink wink* **

**In Russian Dimitri told Tanya 'Они бодрствуют теперь' which means 'they are awake now'. Tanya responded by saying 'Я сделаю весь разговор' meaning 'I will do all the talking'.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns everything Twilight.**

**A/N: I'd like to thank T, Lovin Rob for her suggestions and invaluable beta skills! **

**In our last chapter we left off with Bella and her friends in quite the bind while Edward is reeling from the discovery of Vicky's deception and Tanya's threat …**

* * *

Chapter Twenty

"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last -more than passion or even sex!" ~Simone Signoret

Bella

I have no way of knowing for sure but I think its well after midnight. The only light in the room is coming from the office down the hallway where our captors disappeared to earlier. Tanya and Dimitri must really get off on this kidnapping shit because even when watching us, they were all over each other. Their mouths and hands were conversing in the universal language of passion and desire and from the sound of her squeals and his moans coming from the office now, they are communicating rather well. I hope they fuck their brains out … death by fucking. This thought makes me giggle.

"What's so funny," Jake whispers.

"The absurdity of it all," I whisper back. "Us in here and them in there, doing … that."

He quietly laughs, "Yeah, it's pretty fucked isn't it?"

"Yeah it is," I mutter. "But you know what's really fucked, Jake?"

Jake shakes his head at me confused.

"What's really fucked is my oldest and dearest friend, afraid to clue me in as to who he really is. You know I love you Jake … you can tell me anything and I will always support and never judge you. That won't ever change."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to … I wasn't afraid …" he pauses. "Well, maybe just a little but not of you, never you. I'm more worried about how my dad is going to react. He keeps hinting for me to settle down and give him a grandson." He closes his eyes at the memory. "I really tried but it wasn't until I met Riley that I finally admitted to myself that I was gay and that it was okay."

"You should have come to me Jake. I could have straightened you out in five minutes," Rose quips.

Jake snickers, "I'll bet you could have, at that."

"This is all very moving and all but we need to focus and start thinking of how we're going to get out of here?" Rose reprimands us both. "I may never see my Emmett again …" her voice cracks with emotion. "Why didn't I tell him I loved him when I had the chance?"

"It's going to be all right Blondie," Jake reassures her. "We'll figure a way out of here. You'll be with your Emmett again."

Rose sniffles. "Thanks … and you with Riley."

"Thanks," he says warmly.

Who'd have thought it would take a life-threatening crisis to bring peace between my two dearest friends. I close my eyes and my thoughts center around Edward as they always do. Imagining he's with me now, I picture his handsome face and gaze into his blue eyes that mirror my deep-seated love for him. _I love you Edward _

I must have dozed off because when I wake, my head is resting on Rose's lap. I think she's still sleeping as her head is tilted back against the wall and her breathing pattern is soft and steady. Jake is making faint scratching noises doing something with his bound hands. What is he up to?

I straighten myself up and close my eyes again. This time I think of Dimitri ripping the duct tape from our mouths. It had to be worse for Jake with his facial scruff but it still smarted. For the longest time the three of us stayed quiet. What do you say to someone who is holding you against your will? Please let me go? Well that's a no-brainer. Instead we listened as Tanya and Dimitri talked to each other, sometimes in English but more often in Russian. Every so often Tanya would say something to provoke a reaction or an outburst from one of us.

To keep himself amused Dimitri periodically removed his gun from its holster inside his jacket. Lovingly he'd stroked its barrel and then pointed it in our direction. One by one he'd pretend to fire it. _'Bang' _It was near impossible for myself and my friends to mask our fear and this sick fuck knew it. He enjoyed toying with us. This went on until Tanya grew bored and ordered him to stop.

It isn't in Rose's nature to stay quiet for too long especially when she has something to say. When has Rose ever not spoken her mind? So of course, she'd be the one to break the silence.

"_How much money do you expect Emmett to come up with?" she warily asks our captors. "It won't be easy for him to get his hands on large sums of money as I am the one who handles all of our finances."_

"_For your sake Rose, you'd better pray that Emmett is resourceful," Tanya replies coolly from the comfy armchair Dimitri brought out for her from the office. "If he ever wants to see his 'Rosie' again, he will pay us the $5 million dollars and that goes for Edward and Riley too."_

_Jacob purses his lips and blows sharply before looking over at me. "That is an awful lot of money," he comments._

_Dimitri gives him a cold stare. "No one asked your opinion."_

"_That's just fucking crazy!" Rose cries out. "That isn't going to be possible. I've set up a diverse portfolio for maximum return through a mixture of mutual funds, stocks and bonds while also dabbling in more speculative business and real estate investments. He'd have to liquidate a huge chunk of assets with severe penalties …"_

_Dimitri springs to his feet and dashes over to Rose, back-handing her across the face. "No one talks to my Tanya like that."_

"_Don't you fucking hit her," Jake snarls and snidely adds, " A real man wouldn't hit a defenseless woman, asshole."_

_Dimitri spins and lowers himself so that he's right in Jake's face. "What would you know about being a real man, faggot? Real men want pussy not cock," he sneers and punches Jake hard in the stomach effectively silencing him._

"_Jake is more of a man than you'll ever be!" I blurt out coming to my friend's defense._

_Dimitri is just about to strike my face when Tanya calls him off, "These are our guests Dimitri. Let's not forget our manners, my love."_

"_Rose does have a point. Emmett isn't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed," Tanya sighs deeply. "If it wasn't for my expert skills in Blackjack, he would have lost a bundle."_

_She glances at Rose with an evil grin on her face._

"_And of course everyone knows you don't go up to a hotel room with a woman you've only just met … unless of course you are looking for a little action or are a complete moron. So which is it Rose?" Tanya taunts._

"_Emmett is a very trusting person … he's not use to socializing with scum," Rose says with disdain. She cowers when Dimitri moves towards her again with his arm raised._

"_Please don't hurt her!" I cry. "She's …"_

"_Sick … I've been sick," Rose interrupts, purposefully preventing me from saying what I was about to reveal. She gives me that look that essentially tells me to shut the fuck up._

_Dimitri stops dead in his tracks and moves to sit on the armrest next to Tanya. "What's wrong with you," he cautiously asks._

_I cringe, realizing I almost gave them more ammunition to demand even more money. Not to mention, it wouldn't be the best way for Emmett to find out he's going to be a daddy. I must remember to filter my thoughts before speaking in their presence._

"_Stomach flu," Rose answers. "Very contagious." I catch the edges of her mouth turn up infinitesimally when both Dimitri and Tanya quickly retreat back into their office._

The sound of footsteps awakens me again. The morning light filters through the thin slats and across the floor below. I lift my head momentarily confused as to where I am and quickly scan my surroundings. No, it wasn't just a bad dream. It's a real nightmare. Rose's face is very pale and she's taking slow shallow breaths. I hope she's not going to throw up. Jake is awake and I briefly wonder if he ever fell asleep last night.

"Good morning, rise and shine," Tanya says cheerfully. "I'm sure you would all like to use the toilet, have a cup of coffee and maybe some breakfast. But you'll have to earn those privileges."

She removes a cell phone from her long jacket.

"Bella I'm going to call Edward and you are going to tell him that you are fine. Then Rose will do the same with Emmett and Jake with Riley. It will be short and sweet … just enough for them to know you are still breathing. If you do anything to anger me, you will regret it."

Dimitri takes out his handgun making certain that it's locked and loaded and points it at me just as Tanya makes the call. It rings no more than twice.

'Hello Edward' Tanya coos. There is a short pause. 'Of course Bella is fine. She's right here.'

Tanya shoots me a lethal glare before putting the phone to my ear.

'Edward!' I choke.

'Are you okay baby? Have they hurt you?'

"Water … WARE…" I yell but am abruptly silenced when Dimitri hits the back of my head with his gun and for the second time in less than 24 hours, my world fades to black.

~StN~

Edward

Running my fingers repeatedly through my hair, I'm seated in our living room on the nice comfy micro fiber couch that Bella had picked out. Pup is sprawled out on his back with his paws in the air without a care in the world. Lucky bastard! When Emmett places his coffee mug down on the glass coffee table without using a coaster, I snap at him.

"What the fuck are you doing? Bella wouldn't like that."

He picks up his mug. "I'm sorry," he says blinking rapidly. I swear I think he might cry.

Feeling a bit foolish for my overreaction, I grab a coaster from the end table and place it on the glass table for him. I know I shouldn't take my frustrations out on Emmett. We're both in the same fucking boat.

For the past 15 hours or so, our house has been the temporary headquarters for the FBI in locating and recovering the victims of two of their Most Wanted. I cringe every time I hear them use the term 'victim' when referring to Bella. I want to yell and scream to remind them that it is my best friend, lover and wife they are referring to and that she has a name. Bella is not just another crime statistic. She is my world … my everything.

Alice gives me a small reassuring smile when she walks by placing a large tray of assorted croissants, cheese Danishes and scones on top of the buffet table in the nearby dining room next to the platters of scrambled eggs, bacon and stacks of pancakes she's whipped up. I envy her having had something to keep her busy and help take her mind off of this fucking nightmare. I give her a weak, feeble smile. It's the best I can muster. But I finally understand what my friend sees in her. Alice has been a Godsend, an angel even. By nature she gives comfort and solace to those she loves and cares about. And there's little doubt that she loves Bella and Rose and perhaps even Jacob. I vow to be nicer to her in the future.

Jacob … and Riley, now there's something I never saw coming. How did I miss that? All this time I mistakenly believed he was my rival for Bella's affections … that he wanted her in his bed the way I do. Looking back, there were a few times I thought he was looking at me kind of strange. I remember once while taking a leak in the men's room I caught him staring at my penis. I just laughed it off at the time and made some off-handed comment. But now, knowing what I know … what a mind-fuck. Damn him! If only he'd have said something beforehand about his batting for the other team, maybe things wouldn't have gone so badly for Bella and me.

'Oh no you don't!' my conscience shakes his head. "Don't go blaming your insecurities on Jacob Black. Jacob or no Jacob, Bella never did anything to feed them. You should have believed her when she told you he was just a friend.'

Perhaps Dr. Stanley was right when she said Bella and I don't communicate very well. I only hope that I get the chance to rectify that. Fuck, I'll agree to any means of torture the good doctor can come up with plus years of counseling if only my wife comes back to me safe and sound.

"What can I get for you Edward?" Alice expectantly asks standing in front of me. "Pancakes? They're peanut butter, chocolate chip and banana. They're your favorite. I remember."

"No thanks Alice, I'm not hungry," I automatically reply. But when seeing the disappointment on her face I quickly change my mind. "All right, I'll have some pancakes and a cup of strong coffee."

The way she practically dances into the dining room to fix me a plate, you'd think I'd told her Jasper was finally going to pop the big question. I have no intentions of actually eating. I can't.

Jasper plops down on the couch, which causes pup to stir. He raises his head and sniffs the air before jumping down and darting after Alice. No doubt the bastard is looking for a handout.

"How are you holding up man?" Jasper tentatively asks.

"By a thread. Why hasn't that nutcase called yet?"

For the thousandth time I look over at the FBI men assembled in the dining room led by my former bodyguard. Their high-tech equipment and electronic devices are spread out over the table and hooked up to each of our cell phones waiting to pick up Tanya's cell phone signal and track her location the minute she makes contact.

"Don't worry, she will … she wants your money." Jasper reminds me. "Everything always comes down to fucking money …" he says absentmindedly. "Like I told Em and Riley, you're welcome to whatever I have to help come up with the ransom. Just say the word man."

I shake my head. "Thanks Jas, but I have it covered."

I grin remembering the phone call I placed last evening to the bank manager where I keep most of my money. You'd think I shot his dog when I informed him I'd be transferring a large sum from my account and to have it ready by morning. The FBI assures me that it won't come down to actually having to give into Tanya's monetary demands … that as soon as they can pinpoint where she is, it will all be over but I am ready and willing to give them what they want if it comes down to it.

But what has me worried almost as much as Bella's safe return, is Tanya's looming threat to show Bella the incriminating sex photos she had taken of the two of us together in that hotel room. Almost like clockwork a new picture has been sent to me via text every half hour, each more explicit than the one before, same for Emmett. Too bad my little head still worked when my big one was out of commission. I've never done half of that kinky shit with Bella yet somehow I managed to do it with Tanya and not remember any of it.

Yesterday after laying my eyes on that first picture, Tanya sent a text to both Emmett and me informing us that the porn show would begin for the girls shortly after the banks opened the next morning if the money wasn't wired to her offshore bank in a timely manner. I glance up at the clock on the wall. It reads 8:49 a.m. Bella may soon learn that I hadn't been completely truthful when asking if there was anything else she should know about 'T' other than being someone who found and returned my cell phone. Why didn't I tell her everything I knew and what I suspected might have happened? She probably would have understood and maybe even forgiven me. But it's my lack of honesty that I'm certain she's going to have a problem with now. And that combined with Vicky's little revelation yesterday could drive the proverbial nail into the coffin of my fragile marriage.

Jumping up from the side armchair Riley begins to nervously pace. "If those two fuckers harm Jake in anyway … so help me … I love him so fucking much!" He wails. Stopping, his shoulders heaving, Emmett rushes over and pulls him into a tight bear hug.

I think I've just entered some sort of alternate universe.

"You'll see. It's going to be all right Riley," Emmett says, his own tears flowing freely and sobbing along with Riley.

Damn it's turning into a fucking cry-fest in here! 'Beam me up Scotty!'

Casually observing my hormonal buddies estrogen moment, Agent Coulter leaves the bullpen and steps over to have a word with them.

"Don't worry. We're going to find them. Thanks to Mr. Cullen's … Edward's, neighbor, we have a detailed description of the van that was parked in front of the house and its plate number. After putting out an APB on it, we had a few reports giving us a general idea in the direction it was headed."

Thank God for that nosy pain-in-the-ass, Mrs. Willard! When this is over, I'm sending her the biggest fucking floral arrangement she has ever seen. She'll probably think somebody died! I was there when the FBI came a-knocking at her door. She hadn't been very surprised to see them. In fact she indignantly demanded to know what had taken them so long to get their sorry asses there. The look on her face when I grabbed and kissed her after she handed her logbook over to Dave was priceless. I thought she was going to cum on the spot. It was filled with detailed descriptions of anyone she deemed suspicious, which would be pretty much everyone, and of any vehicle that was parked on our street for the past six months.

I ask you, can you get anymore fucking paranoid than that?

One of the cell phones on the dining room table starts buzzing. Looking like the Three Stooges, Emmett, Riley and me lunge and practically fall all over each other scrambling to get over to them. Seeing that it's my phone that is vibrating, I snatch it up quickly. The secret agent hovering over his instrument panel mouths for me to keep her on the line as long as I can so he can track the phone.

'Hello Edward'

I cringe when hearing Tanya's voice.

"Is Bella okay?

'Of course Bella is fine. She's right here.'

It feels like forever before I hear my baby's sweet voice.

'Edward!'

Her anguished cry rips at my heart.

'Are you okay baby? Have they hurt you?'

I will hunt them down and personally kill them myself if they've harmed her in any way.

"Water … WARE …"

There's a thud and then silence.

'Bella! Bella! Are you still there baby?'

It's that bitch Tanya who answers my plea.

"Bella is alive and well but not for long unless you listen very carefully. I am only going to give you the information you'll need to transfer the funds one time. When I receive confirmation that the transaction has successfully gone through, I will send you her location. Remember no police or I will kill her immediately … the clock is ticking and the show is about to begin. You can transfer the money to …"

It's a good thing the call is being recorded, as I no longer hear what Tanya is saying. Instead I replay Bella's two words over and over again. _'Water … where…" _She was giving clues. _'Water' _Hell, we're on the Pacific coast. There's a lot of fucking water! _'Where' _That is the question that needs answering. Where the hell are you, Bella?

"Agent Coulter!" One of the FBI agents sitting at the table urgently gestures for Dave to come over. "Somehow they've been scrambling their signal to try and throw us off their trail but I think I've just located them!"

~StN~

Bella

I'm not sure how long I lay there. A few minutes, a few hours but when I come to, Dimitri and Tanya are no longer there. My head hurts where the gun struck and the wetness I feel below tells me that I've soiled my pants. How embarrassing is that?

"Bella, honey, are you all right?" Rose speaks softly to me.

"You really frightened us girl," Jake says with relief. "You've been out cold for a quite a while." The scratching noise he's been making is more frenzied.

"Where's my coffee and breakfast?" I remark facetiously. It's my way of letting them know I still have my marbles. "What the hell are you doing Jake?"

"Shh … I'm getting close," he whispers. "The rope … it's fraying on the sharp metal edge on the wall by the floor. I should be able to untie it and then once it gives we can make a run for it."

"Where did Gomez and Morticia run off to?" I ask, rubbing my pounding head.

Would I go to Hell if I wished they dropped dead?

"They've slithered back from whence they came," Rose answers in an exaggeratedly ominous voice.

We both start giggling, not only to relieve the tension but because Tanya and Dimitri are a bit over the top. They remind me of something out of an old horror movie.

"I think creepy boyfriend must have hit you a little too hard Bella," Jake says shaking his head. "What's your excuse Blondie?"

"Fuck you," Rose says and smiles at him sweetly.

"Not even if my life depended on it," Jake mutters under his breath.

"Well, obviously." Rose snips back with an eye roll.

I take this as being a good sign. Now that my two closest friends are at it once again maybe the universe is realigning itself and everything is going to be all right after all. But, probably not.

Tanya and Dimitri are arguing. Their voices are drifting from the office down the hall and hearing them quickly sobers us. Alternating between English and Russian I listen intently hoping to catch pieces of what they're saying. Perhaps we can use their dissension to our advantage.

'Почему это берет так долго? Это должно быть сделано к настоящему времени.' Tanya cries.

"Be patient darling," Dimitri reassures her. "They will pay us."

"No!" Tanya's shrill voice yells. "Никто не трахается со мной! I warned them what would happen!"

This is it. They're going to kill us! The three of us look to each other. Our faces convey so much … fear, sorrow, regret and ultimately the love we have for each other. Okay maybe it's a stretch with Rose and Jake but if this is truly the end, I find a little comfort knowing I won't be facing it alone. My thoughts immediately turn to Edward! I close my eyes and he appears. I'll never see you again … I love you! Tears prick my eyes and blur my vision as our captors' footsteps draw near.

Tanya sits down in the chair while Dimitri stands stoically behind her. How is this going to go down? Will it be mercifully quick or slowly drawn out? I'm guessing the later since they both seem to enjoy inflicting pain and suffering.

Tanya flashes me a twisted smile before speaking. "I thought you might enjoy a good story to help pass the time." She doesn't wait for a response. "Several months ago Dimitri and I decided to leave New York to try our luck elsewhere. So we headed west and eventually ended up in Seattle. Such a lovely city …" she pauses and reaches back, placing her hand on top of the chair. Dimitri then covers her hand with his sharing some tender fucking moment.

"As fate would have it one night when at a pub, we couldn't help but overhear the conversation the bartender was having with of one of his patrons. I'll call him 'Edward'. Edward was drowning his sorrows and had one too many drinks. You see his wife had just left him. A sad but all too common tale I'm afraid. Shall I continue?" she asks in a sardonic tone.

I swallow as the final pieces of the puzzle come together. I nod.

"Edward was utterly despondent but went on to tell the bartender that his wife, I'll call her 'Bella', thought he'd been unfaithful but swore that he hadn't been. Edward proclaimed his undying love for his Bella saying that he'd give 'anything' to get her back. Ah … spoken like a man in love. When Dimitri and I finished our drinks and were about to leave what should happen but a handful of young women surrounded Edward, begging him for his autograph and asking to have their pictures taken with him. A few were bolder but I assure you that our Edward was a complete gentleman. Naturally being in our line of business, our curiosity was … shall we say, peaked," Tanya sighs. "Come to find out that Edward was no ordinary patron after all. In fact he was rich and famous, two of my most favorite attributes when making new friends."

"What did you do to my husband?" I ask with trepidation, my stomach twisting in knots.

"Patience Bella … I was just getting to that," she replies curtly. "You would be amazed the things you can learn about someone on the Internet. Like who their friends and business associates are and where they like to go to enjoy themselves. Can you believe how fortunate I was when purely by chance, of course, I ran into Edward again several weeks later at a club?"

She gazes up at Dimitri. "Why don't you go check with Enrique and find out if the money has been deposited yet, my love."

Dimitri swoops down and kisses her before walking back to the office.

"He knows it was just business but still, he gets so jealous," Tanya explains. "Where were we? Ah yes, the club. I was at the bar when I thought I'd been mistaken about his feelings for you as I flirted shamelessly with him and he responded. But being that he was already quite inebriated, I don't think he was thinking with his head if you know what I mean. So I bought him a drink, which he downed rather quickly and helped him back to his table. Other women started flocking over when they spotted him. I laid claim to him by straddling his lap. He called me 'Bella' when my lips touched his. Isn't that sweet? That told me all I needed to know. Being a man he has basic, instinctual needs. Needs you no longer satisfied. And then his 'friends' left and out of nowhere the fucking paparazzi showed up and almost ruined everything. I wonder how they knew that he was there?" She frowns before continuing. "Before my face got plastered all over the Internet I knew I had to get out of there fast. What a coincidence it was that I had a hotel room close by." She leans in closer to me, licking her lips taunting me, "Edward was only too happy to come with me."

Edward never said anything about a hotel room. He only said that he had been drugged while inside the club. Was he too out of it to remember that important part? I don't want to hear anymore. I close my eyes hoping Tanya is finished with her story. My prayers are answered when Dimitri returns. He shakes his head and Tanya visibly scowls.

Rising to her feet she whips her phone out of her jacket pocket. "I really hoped that it wouldn't come down to this but Edward knew the consequences of his inaction … the funny thing is that I mailed him his phone back after he left it behind. It was my way of letting him know I was real and not some figment of his imagination."

She smiles and leans forward, moving her phone so that I can see the photos she is displaying. I really want to look away but I can't. I'm drawn to them. There are at least 50 pictures each one more explicit than the one before. While some are blurred and the lighting isn't the best, they appear to be my Edward engaging in all sorts of sexual acts with Tanya who is wrapped around him like bacon on scallop hors d'oeuvres. The recently promoted investigative journalist inside of me questions who took those pictures? Obviously it couldn't have been the parties involved. I glance up at Dimitri who doesn't appear to be jealous at all. He should be considering the way he behaved earlier when Tanya mentioned kissing Emmett and how handsome Edward was. Why is that?

"Can I see the pictures again?" I ask Tanya who is only too happy to comply, especially after seeing my tears.

Rose looks at me and whispers, "Masochist."

"Oh Rose," Tanya shakes her head slowly while showing me the pictures once more. "Don't worry you're next."

After viewing the pictures a second time I'm convinced that the most incriminating pictures … the ones showing 'Edward' thrusting into her ass from behind is NOT my husband. They can't be. Edward has a pattern of moles on his back and the man in these pictures has none. Also Edward's tattoo should at least be partially visible when her mouth is on his cock not to mention that this man isn't nearly as well endowed. There is no way Tanya or any woman for that matter can fully take Edward all the way in. No, Edward is not having sex with Tanya in these photographs. But someone definitely is. Who then? I'd bet my life the photos are of Tanya and Dimitri. He must have set the camera on a tripod.

Quickly I summon more tears pretending to be distraught since that is the effect Tanya, in her sick warped mind was hoping for. She looks very pleased with herself, happy even. Better that I pretend to be affected, than to deal with her anger. It's harder for me to remain silent though when minutes later Tanya gleefully shows the supposed sex photos of her and Emmett and Rose sobs uncontrollably. I vow to clue her in if we ever get out of here. Correction - when we get out of here.

Saying something to Dimitri in Russian, Tanya heads back to the office. Rather than follow her, he walks over and slides open the large metal double doors and steps outside.

"My hands are free," Jake excitedly whispers and rubs each wrist. Seconds later so are his legs.

Wasting no time he quickly works to untie me as the sound of a boat engine roars to life.

"Hurry Jake," I say willing his fingers to move faster. "Something must have gone wrong. I have a bad feeling about this."

Jake nods in agreement. Once I'm untied we both furiously work to disenthrall Rose.

"Oh that feels so much better!" Rose says appreciatively. She stands and stretches. "So what's the plan?"

"We have to get out here." Jake says first eyeing the sliding doors and then the hallway.

"No shit!" Rose says sarcastically.

He ignores Rose's snarly comment. "Stay here. Wait for my signal. I'm going to check and see if we can get past lover boy. I think that would be the easiest way out."

Rose and I watch as Jake swiftly covers the thirty feet or so to the doors and carefully peers out. Caught up in the intensity of the moment and drowned by the sound of the revving engine, we don't hear Tanya sneaking up behind us. Taking us by surprise she holds a sharp blade in her hand.

"Going somewhere?" she sneers and waves the knife slowly. "Weren't you even going to say goodbye? Where are your manners?"

My first instinct is to run but in which direction? The hallway or the doors? I look to the open doors. Jake is no longer there. He must have made it outside and I don't want to ruin his chances of escape by drawing attention and creating a commotion. Perhaps I could distract Tanya by lunging at her and wrestle the knife from her hand. I don't think she'd expect that from me. Then Rose can get away and …

"Goodbye psycho bitch!" Rose cries out as she channels Bruce Lee by jumping and twisting in the air while kicking her leg and knocking the knife out of Tanya's hand.

The three of us watch spellbound as the knife sails through the air and falls to the ground a good twenty feet away.

"Get it Bella!" Rose yells before tackling Tanya to the ground. "You're going down, BITCH!"

I hesitate for a nanosecond unsure as to whether I should get the knife or help Rose. But Tanya is no match for my friend as her hands try to protect her pretty face from Rose's hard punches. Tanya is yelling and screaming for Dimitri to come to her aid but her cries go unanswered, drowned out by the sound of the boat engine.

After obtaining the knife I'm relieved to see Jake is back and gathering rope pieces while Tanya lie whimpering, her shoulders pinned down by Rose who is sitting triumphantly on top of her.

"Good work Blondie," Jake comments. "Bella, help me tie her."

Rose slides off of Tanya's chest as Jake flips her over. He quickly secures her wrists with the rope before ripping the sleeve of his shirt with his teeth and gags her mouth while I tie her feet. Slinging her over his shoulder Jake then carries her to the office and unceremoniously plops her down on a chair.

"What now?" I tentatively ask.

"We can't get past Dimitri without him spotting us," he says emphatically. "Hurry, follow me …"

Jake closes the office door and briskly walks ahead clutching the knife in his hand. It's eerily quiet when the boat engine suddenly ceases. When reaching the end of the hallway, we pause with indecision. There is another hallway. Right or left, which way will bring us to the exit? The sound of running footsteps fast approaching has us quickly decide.

"This way!" Jake nods to the right and together we run as fast as our feet will go.

But my inherent clumsiness decides to rear its ugly head at that precise moment and I trip, my right ankle twisting. Falling to the floor Jake stops to help me back up. Sharp pain shoots through my foot. Fuck! I can't run.

"Jake, go!" I cry. "Save yourself!"

He shakes his head. "No! I'm not leaving without you!"

Scooping me into his strong arms, he sprints towards the exit door that Rose is holding open for us just as the sound of gunfire echoes.

~StN~

Edward

"What's your ETA?" Agent Coulter barks into his hands-free device as he navigates through the twists and turns of the back roads we're traveling on at top speed.

"Good," he says, pleased with the answer he's been given. He glances at us in his rear-view mirror before asking the agent on the other end, "You did request medical to be on hand?"

"Good," he replies continuing to lead the caravan of black SUV's following closely behind.

Medical? Fuck I think I might need it myself if we get there and Bella is injured or worse … no, no … she'll be all right. She has to be. They're all going to be fine, I tell myself. Sitting next to me in the backseat, Emmett and Riley start whimpering again.

"Shut the fuck up!" I snap at them. It's insensitive of me, I know but I'm struggling to keep my shit together and not lose it and they are not fucking helping my cause here.

Dave takes this moment to remind us of the rules we agreed to before he allowed us to come along. "You are to remain in the car once we arrive at our target destination. The S.W.A.T team should be there any minute. They are some of the finest sharpshooters in the country and you don't want to distract them from their mission, now do you?"

"No," I reassure him. "We won't interfere. We promise," I respond looking at my two buddies who also nod their agreement.

It's another ten minutes before Dave parks the SUV by the side of the road. Even through tall trees and green foliage, I'm able to see the enormous warehouse set against the waters of Port Orchard Bay a couple hundred feet away. It takes everything I have in me not to fling open the car door and bolt for it.

"Have you secured the roads?" Agent Coulter asks his colleague on the other end of his call. "Are they in place? Good, hold off until I give the order."

"What's going on?" Emmett asks and sniffles, wiping his nose on the back of his sleeve.

"The shooters are positioned high up in the trees and a team is checking the perimeter of the building as we speak," Dave explains.

Static and fervent voices over the scanner lying on the car dashboard alert us that something is happening. My eyes look out the window just as the horror begins to unfold. Grabbing his hand-held device Dave opens his door and jumps out. Unable to stay put I open mine. I watch helplessly as Rose stands in front of the building holding the front door open, her free arm gesturing wildly. What sounds like firecrackers going off are heard just as Jake comes running through the opening holding Bella in his arms.

Bella's hurt! Panic seizes me.

Rose lets go of the door and runs. Taking a few long strides outside Jacob then stumbles and falls to the ground. A man pushes through the door and stands over Jacob pointing a gun directly at him and my Bella.

I'm unaware of my anguished cries and the tears streaming down my face as I hear a single shot being fired. His knees buckling, the man who is holding the gun falls on top of his intended victims like a limp rag doll.

Agent Coulter tries to grab hold of me but I dodge him, my feet having a mind of their own. I have but one single purpose and that is to get to Bella … please, please oh please let her be all right! Running at top speed, breathing hard with my heart pumping furiously, I'm almost there when three agents tackle me and a few seconds later Emmett and Riley are also taken to the ground.

"Sir, you can't go over there!" an unfamiliar voice says sternly.

"The hell I can't! That's my wife!" I sob. "BELLA!"

"Edward!" Bella tries to lift her head. She's pinned underneath Jacob. Tears are streaming down her cheeks. "Oh my God, Jake! Someone please help him … he's been shot!"

I hear an anguished cry beside me and a muttered 'Jake' repeated over and over again.

"Everything is going to be okay baby," I cry out to her. "Help is coming."

I'm vaguely aware of the chaos that surrounds me as agents storm the building while medics tend to Jacob who lies still and unresponsive. Bella clings to him refusing to leave his side, while the medic's aggressively work on him. Riley is whimpering nearby and my heart aches for him knowing that he may have lost someone who means as much to him as Bella does to me. I don't even hear Emmett anymore and think he may have actually gone into shock or something. I'm startled when Dave places a hand on my shoulder. He doesn't look very pleased but when does he ever?

"They've taken Tanya into custody and the building has been swept. It's clean. As for her boyfriend …" He tilts his head in Bella's direction. One of the medic's is kneeling beside Dimitri and shakes his head. An agent covers his body with a sheet. "It looks like the FBI has one less Most Wanted."

"And Jacob?" I tentatively ask. "Is he going to make it?"

Out of the corner of my eye I see Riley tilt his head in our direction.

Dave shrugs and glances at Riley's distraught face. "They've called for a chopper. They're going to airlift him to UW Medical Center." He pauses and looks back at me. "You should know that Jacob Black saved your wife's life. He's a real hero."

I close my eyes and say a quick prayer that Jacob lives so I can thank him and kiss his ass … okay not literally … for the rest of my life.

When I open my eyes again Dave gestures for me to go to Bella and then gestures to Emmett and Riley as well. Immediately the agents who had been restraining us release their hold and we all run to our loved ones. I drop down to my knees, next to my beautiful wife.

"It's over Bella," I whisper as I scoop and cradle her in my arms. "It's finally fucking over."

The End

* * *

**A/N: Yes, Edward it is finally over. We've come to the end of this story … well sort of. There will be an epilogue that I will be posting soon to tie up the loose ends. I will also be posting Bella's and Edward's notebooks as outtakes.**

**Thank you for reading StN and especially to those who gave regular feedback and reviews. It's the only way I have of knowing if you have enjoyed this story and it's the only compensation I get for the countless hours I've spent planning, plotting and writing. I've loved every minute!**

**Tanya said in Russian, 'Почему это берет так долго? Это должно быть сделано к настоящему времени' which means 'Why is this taking so long? It should be done by now.'**

**She also said 'Никто не трахается со мной.' Which means 'No one fucks with me.' (Well, except for Rose! Hehehe)**


	21. Epilogue

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns everything Twilight.**

**A/N: Somehow saying 'thank you' doesn't seem like enough to someone who has given so much of themselves just so that I can do something that brings me so much pleasure but I'll say it anyways … Thank you Beta T, Lovin Rob! Love you girl!**

**The final chapter was intense and came to an abrupt end, surprising many. But really, that was just the beginning for our favorite couple.**

* * *

Epilogue

The great question which I have not been able to answer is: "What does a woman want?" ~Sigmund Freud

Edward

One year later …

My fingers are fumbling with this ugly fucking fuchsia tie. I've tied and untied the damn thing at least five times but still can't seem to get it right. It's not often that I have to wear a suit but when I do, Bella has always taken care of tying it for me. Frowning, I sigh heavily and raise my hand to run my fingers through my hair before lowering it down again remembering what I've done. I loosen the knot and slide the damn thing off and stare at myself in the mirror. I must have been pretty damn wasted when I agreed to let Riley shave off my hair at the bachelor party the other night. There's nothing left but fuzz. I tilt my head to examine his handiwork. It's a good thing my skull is nicely shaped. But at least I'm not the only one who looks like a skinhead. Riley also shaved Emmett, Jasper and Jacob's heads before shaving his own. It was supposed to be a sign of camaraderie or some bullshit like that. At least I still had enough sense to refuse when Riley suggested he shave the southern region of my body.

"Hey Edward, over here," Alice demands coming to my rescue. She's just finished tying Jasper's tie. "How would you guys ever function with us?"

By 'us' I'm assuming she means the women in our lives. Again, I frown and sigh heavily, weighed down by the fact that I've been alone for far too long.

Alice's hand strokes my cheek tenderly. "You really miss her, don't you?" I nod.

She pulls my head down to her level and plants a kiss on top of my fuzzy head before tying a perfect Windsor knot.

"I can't believe you did this," Alice says, not even trying to hide her disapproval. "Wait until your female fans find out your 'sex hair' is no more. There will be crying and mourning throughout the country, the likes of which has never been seen before!"

I roll my eyes at her. "It's starting to grow on me. I'll save myself a lot of time and money not having to buy hair care products." I then flash her one of my panty-poofing smiles and she's momentarily rendered speechless. Good to know I haven't lost my touch.

Alice spins around and marches back to Jasper who is sprawled out on an armchair. She plops down on his lap and wraps her arms around his neck. Tilting his head up, she swoops down and kisses him.

"Don't' you be getting any crazy ass ideas like that before our wedding Jasper Whitlock!"

Jasper raises his eyebrows up and down mischievously. "Sorry baby, no can do. What happens at a bachelor party is top secret and pretty much out of the groom's hands. Gotta go with the flow man."

"We'll just see about that."

Alice sticks out her left hand in front of her and twirls it around, mesmerized by the luminescent reflection cast by her diamond engagement ring from the sunlight shining through the nearby window. Riley walks in just in time to catch the tail end of Jasper and Alice's little exchange.

"And when might this wedding take place?" He smirks, knowing this is going to rile Jasper up.

Jasper immediately sobers. "We haven't set a date yet … in a couple of years or so."

Everyone inside Riley and Jacob's hotel suite apart from the engaged couple breaks out into laughter. Oh Jasper, you really don't stand a chance against the maniacal little pixie.

Their engagement came as quite the surprise considering Jasper's views on marriage but his stance softened considerably in the aftermath of the kidnappings. He explained his change of heart by telling us that marriage was important to Alice and the she was important to him. And if that is what she needed from him, he couldn't deny her that. He told us that sometimes you have to put your partner's happiness first. That's a concept I completely understand.

Four months ago Bella was offered an opportunity to work for Time Magazine as an investigative journalist. She was hesitant to accept the position because it was going to involve a lot of travel and time away from home, both domestic and abroad. I knew she was torn but I didn't want to be the reason she didn't follow her dream so I encouraged her to go for it. I told her that I would support her and be here when she returned. I put her needs before my own. She's been overseas the past two months and although we talk on our cell phones everyday, I still miss her terribly.

"It's almost time. Has anyone heard from Bella?" Jacob asks glancing over at me. His arms spread out over the window frame scanning the parking lot below.

I whip out my cell phone checking to see if I might have missed any phone calls or texts from her. Nothing. It's not like her to not check in with anyone. If she were going to be delayed, she definitely would have contacted somebody.

Bella's dad, Charlie steps inside with Seth trailing behind and hands Jacob a small ring box. "Billy asked me to run up and give this to you. Did I hear you saying that Bella isn't here yet?" he asks with concern.

I casually observe Jacob who is opening the box. He gasps and stifles a sob with his hand before lowering himself onto the bed. Riley immediately rushes over to his side and sits down beside him, draping his arm around Jacob's shoulders.

"You never know, maybe Bella's found herself a nice Englishman," Charlie says looking directly at me. "I'm really proud of my little girl deciding to take that reporting job. She made the right choice."

"I'm really proud of her too. On that we can agree," I off-handedly say taking my eyes off of Jacob and Riley and purposefully ignore his jab. It's reassuring actually. Some things never change, like Charlie. He still hates me.

"Don't worry. She'll be here. There is no way Bella would miss her best friends wedding, especially since she's in it," Alice says with unwavering confidence. "Hey Jake, what's in the box?" she asks with growing concern when noticing an emotional Jacob.

"This was my mom's wedding band." Jacob wipes a stray tear and removes the ring to look at it more closely. "Has it been altered?"

I remember Bella having told me that Jacob's mother died tragically in a car accident when he was fourteen.

Riley tenderly lifts Jacob's chin and plants a chaste kiss on his lips. "Billy asked for my ring size," he explains, admitting that he was in on the surprise. "I hope you won't be upset but after he told me that he planned on letting you have it, I cancelled my ring that we ordered from the jeweler. I'd be honored to wear this ring."

"I can't believe my dad did this," Jacob says softly before wrapping his arms around Riley and pulling him closer. "This means so much to me. Where is he now?"

"Billy's waiting outside with the other guests," Charlie volunteers, looking rather uncomfortable. "He didn't want to create a scene in front of everyone … sort of like now."

Moved by this touching moment, Alice climbs off of Jasper's lap and hugs both men. "I think I should check to see if the hotel staff has everything ready for the reception," she says before scurrying out the door.

"Hi Edward," Seth steps out from behind his dad and enthusiastically greets me clasping my hand. "This is so cool. Kim isn't going to believe I'm at this wedding!"

"Is Kim your girlfriend?" I ask raising my eyebrow and laugh when Seth's face reddens. "Would you like to send her a picture?"

"Seriously?" he says, his eyes widening like saucers. "Yeah, that'd be awesome!"

"Hell, why not," I reply. "Hey guys, get your asses over here … you too Jacob. Has anyone seen Emmett?"

"He's probably off somewhere breast-feeding," Riley comments causing another round of laughter.

Seth presses his cell phone into his dad's hand and wedges himself between the four of us and smiles profusely. Grudgingly Charlie snaps the picture. Ripping the phone away from him, Seth immediately transfers it to his Facebook page.

Thank you Seth! It won't be long before the vultures descend.

Jacob steers me out into the hallway and shuts the door behind us. Things have changed considerably between Jacob and me this past year. Amazingly, we've become really good friends. After that deranged lunatic, Dimitri, shot Jacob, both Bella and I kept a constant vigil at the hospital where he had spent five, long agonizing days in the ICU. Surgeons operated to remove the bullet that nicked his right lung, obliterated most of his liver and settled in his left kidney. In a way you might say that we're bonded now as a part of me is inside of him.

No, not that part!

The doctors said it was a miracle that I was a match for Jacob and so I donated a part of my liver to help save his life. It was the least I could do as he gave me back mine. I was surprised to learn that the liver is the only human organ that can naturally regenerate itself whole again.

"Don't let Charlie get to you," he says earnestly. "He's crusty like my dad and if my dad was able to accept that his son was gay, there is still hope for you and Charlie."

I can't help but laugh. "That's not a fair comparison. The difference being that your dad loves you and Charlie doesn't even like me, never has and probably never will. He has never accepted me as Bella's husband."

"But Charlie loves his daughter and his daughter loves you," Jake says watching me closely. "You know she does," he reassures me. "Sometimes it's good for couples to spend a little time apart. It makes you appreciate what you have. After all 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'."

How about this old saying … 'Out of fucking sight, out of fucking mind'!

"I'm not worried," I lie. "And neither should you. If Bella said she'll be here, she'll be here."

"Yeah, I can't exactly get married without my best man or should I say, best woman." Anxiously he looks up and down the hallway. "Do me a favor Edward. As Riley's best man, could you get him the hell out of here? It's bad luck for the groom to see the groom before the wedding and can you stall the minister?"

"Sure thing," I chuckle and am slightly taken back when Jacob suddenly pulls me into a tight embrace and doesn't let go. I gingerly pat his back. "No problem man … um, Jacob, you need to let go of me … now."

"Okay." Jacob rubs my head before releasing me and steps back. "Definite improvement."

Playfully I smack the back of his head. "Wish I could say the same."

I head back to the suite and yank Riley out of the room, tossing him into the hall. I start laughing as he skids and stumbles. He stands up like he is really going to be angry and do something about it.

"Whatever man, you know you ain't gonna mess up my fuchsia tie." I say running my fingers along my tie, smirking at him, "Now get the hell out of here. Isn't it bad luck for you to see Jake before the wedding?" I ask, arching my brow.

He starts laughing, "How the fuck do I know?" He then brings his hand to his mouth dramatically and then smacks his forehead, "Oh fuck, I forgot something." He says quickly and darts down the hall. I shake my head. That dude is fucking crazy. All right, time to stall the minister.

It's a beautiful, warm, summer afternoon in Port Angeles. After raining earlier in the day, the sun now peeks out behind white puffy clouds. The outdoor terrace of the hotel has been beautifully transformed with rows of white linen chairs separated by a white runner straight through the middle of the makeshift aisle. At the end of the aisle stands a raised wooden gazebo with hundreds of white and pink carnations tied together with white gossamer ribbons wrapped around its frame and down each pole. Alice should be proud of her efforts. The place looks great.

Guests are beginning to arrive. Clustered in small groups, they stand chatting amongst themselves sipping on pink champagne while a trio of violinists plays softly. Spotting my parents sitting beside Emmett and Rose, I grab a flute of champagne and head in their direction. My mom is holding and cooing over five-month old baby Ethan who is patting his hand at her face.

Offering my hand, my dad shakes it and clasps my arm before drawing me into a brief hug.

"How long have you been here?" I ask.

"Not very long, son. Your mom zeroed in on that baby as soon as we arrived," he whispers in my ear.

"I did not," my mom says indignantly and rolls her eyes at her husband. Like a dolphin with sonar, she has exceptionally good hearing.

"I was looking for my son who I haven't seen in ages," she gently rebukes me before kissing both of Ethan's chubby cheeks and handing him back to his father.

She squeezes me tight when I wrap my arms around her. Pulling back just a tad, she looks me straight in the eye and shakes her head.

"Edward, you are too thin. I wish you had come home to spend some time with your dad and me. I would've fattened you up."

"Why do you think I've stayed away?" I tease her.

"You need looking after," she says adamantly.

I let out a deep sigh. "I'm a grown man, mom. I can take care of myself."

"Nonsense." She shakes her head like a bobble doll. "Taking care of yourself is a foreign concept to you. Besides, all men need looking after." She straightens my tie slightly and then gives a sideways glance to my dad. "Even your father needs continual care."

I look over at my dad who gives me a sympathetic smile as if to say 'just humor her son'. But he comes to my rescue when placing his arm around his wife's waist and asks Emmett, "Aren't those your parent's over there talking with Lizzy?" When Emmett nods, my dad steers my mom in their direction.

"Edward, I really love your mom and so does Ethan." Emmett searches the diaper bag for a pacifier when the baby starts to fuss.

"Here … give him to me."

I put down my glass and carefully lift the baby into my arms. I'm surprised by how solid and heavy Ethan actually is. No doubt he's going to be a bruiser. He is definitely his father's son. The resemblance is uncanny except for his scowl, which belongs entirely to his mother. Ever so gently I sway him to and fro, feeling pretty smug when Ethan settles down. As I am making silly, ridiculous faces at him, he smiles and lets out an unmistakable laugh.

"Wow Edward, you're pretty good with this baby thing," Emmett comments. "I think Ethan loves you too."

Rose huffs, "Ethan is a baby and doesn't know any better. It's probably just gas."

"No honey, he really loves his Uncle Edward," Emmett insists. "Can't you see the way Ethan is responding to him? I think you've got another fan Edward."

"What I see is Edward making idiotic faces at him," Rose argues. "He's laughing AT Edward."

Emmett starts to say something but then stops. Buddy, give it up. You aren't going to win this argument with the bitch you married. A whiff of something particularly nasty and foul hits my nostrils. Quickly I hand the baby back over to his mother. Rose winces' catching wind of her son's stench and practically throws him into Emmett's arms like a football. This is my cue to make my escape. Walking away, I can't help but laugh when Rose orders Emmett to change Ethan's diaper. _Definitely pussy whipped!_

The minister spots me making my way through the growing throng of guests and hurries over asking me if we're ready to begin the ceremony. I buy some more time by letting him know that I'm on my way to check.

"Hi Edward!" A familiar female voice calls out to me.

I spin around and find Bree with her date, Noah Winters. Noah's debut album has done exceptionally well. Both Aro and James are very pleased. He's even jammed with Bull Rant a few times in the detached soundproof studio I had built on our property. He's a nice guy, very talented.

"Hey Bree," I say, kissing her cheek and watch amused as her cheeks redden.

"Noah." I shake his hand.

"Edward." He nods.

"Bella looks so beautiful!" Bree excitedly exclaims. "I really love the dress she's wearing."

"Bella's here? You've seen her?" My heart skips a few beats.

"Well yes, she was in the lobby a few minutes ago. I think she said she was heading up to Jake's and Riley's suite," she says loudly as I quickly dart away.

"Thanks Bree!" I yell to her over my shoulder and deftly maneuver through the growing maze of people and into the hotel lobby.

Quickly I scan the cavernous room but find no sight of her. Running over to the elevators, I push the buttons repeatedly and impatiently wait for the doors to spring open. Bella is finally here and in just a few short minutes I am going to sweep her off of her feet and kiss her senseless.

"Edward!" James' voice calls out to me from the lobby.

I turn my head in his direction and find Bull Rants management team hurrying towards me. The elevator door opens and then closes without me inside. Shit! Now what?

"Hi Edward," Aro echoes James greeting.

"Hey." I'm not in the mood for idle chitchat.

"Do you remember me mentioning having a good friend who is a movie producer?" Aro excitedly asks. I shrug non-committed.

"Well he called me earlier to offer you a small part in his latest film," he gushes. "He thinks you'd be perfect."

I have a vague recollection of him telling me about his big-shot Hollywood friend but that was months ago. I had a good laugh at the time when Aro suggested I consider branching out my career in a different direction. What the fuck do I know about acting?

"This is a wonderful opportunity for you Edward," James chimes in. "They've already started filming. You'd only be away 2 or 3 weeks tops and the money is nothing to sneeze at and …"

Rudely, I interrupt him, "James I'm a musician. I don't …"

"Please don't say no so fast," Aro insists. "Let's discuss this in greater detail next week."

"Yeah, sure, whatever." I'd agree to almost anything at this point just so I can leave. "Now if you two will excuse me. I have to go fetch the groom."

"Yes, of course," James says.

I press the elevator button again and watch as James and Aro return to the lobby. Are they waiting for someone? Dates maybe? My question is answered when the elevator doors open and two attractive women exit together. My eyes do a quick double take as I'm suddenly face to face with none other than Vicky.

What the fuck is Vicky doing here?

"Hello Edward." She looks up and smiles, walking past me.

When the elevator door opens again, I quickly step inside. Before they close I catch sight of James kissing Vicky's cheek and taking hold of her hand. Shaking my head, I try to clear that disturbing image from my head. I'm further annoyed when the elevator proceeds to stop at every single floor and no one is waiting to get on. Some little brat must have pressed all the goddamn buttons on the panel. When the door finally opens on the 6th floor, I run through the hallway at full speed and nearly knock down an elderly couple in the process. But I'm on a mission and no one is going to get in my way. I must find her.

When I burst inside Jacob and Riley's suite moments later, I'm disappointed to find it empty. Out of breath and at a loss as to where to search next, I set myself down on the edge of the king-size bed and close my eyes. Taking a few deep breaths, I place my head in the palms my hands.

"Edward?" I'm startled by the sound of Bella's sweet voice. My head whips up.

Stepping out of the bathroom, Bella is a vision to behold. She looks so young and beautiful. Her long brown hair is pulled back away from her face and it hangs in soft ringlets down her back. I find myself wanting to wrap my fingers around each curl. Her short light pink crinkle chiffon dress clings to her curves and fans my desire. My cock twitches in anticipation.

"Are you all right?" she tentatively asks.

Am I?

"I couldn't find you …" I stammer and watch spellbound as she sits down beside me. There is so much I want to say to her … how much I need her, missed her … love her.

"Hi." She reaches for my hand and laces it with hers. "Do I want to know why you and the boys shaved your heads?"

"Hi," I mime and chuckle. "Do you like it?"

"It's um … different." She's being diplomatic. "I like you."

A shy smile spreads across my face. "I like you too."

As we sit side-by-side holding hands, I feel it – the always-present charge sparking between us. My other hand cups her cheek tenderly. I will this moment to memory.

"I'm sorry I didn't call but my cell phone battery was dead when I landed at JFK and I had to race through the airport to make my connecting flight to Seattle," she explains. "Then the car rental company didn't have any cars available. I was lucky to get on a bus that was headed to Port Angeles. When it finally pulled into the bus station I had to walk the 10 blocks to the hotel on foot. Oh Edward! I missed you so much, I …"

"Shhh …" my mouth presses against hers, preventing her from uttering another word.

Her lips are so soft and supple, molding perfectly with mine. She parts them and I slip my tongue inside, deepening our kiss. Wrapping my arm around her tiny waist, I pull her close and savor the feel of her warm body as she responds to my touch. Her hands clasp the back of my neck as her fingers run repeatedly over what little remains of my hair. The sensation electrifies me.

I gently guide her back against the mattress and lean on my side. My free hand slides underneath the fabric of her dress and travels up the length of her thigh, pausing on the top of her silk stockings. Slowly I slide a finger around its rim before moving inward and traveling further north. I gasp when touching the thin barrier of her thong. I wiggle it off of her and brush my thumb against her clit before sliding two fingers into her moist, warm pussy. She is so wet and ready for what I have in mind. I continue moving them in and out, deliberately stroking her most sensitive spot. The sound of her purring emboldens and sets me ablaze.

Running her fingers past my tie and linen shirt, Bella momentarily lingers on my belt before undoing it. I'm sporting a rock hard erection and it's straining, waiting to be unleashed. It's been so fucking long and I desperately need to be inside of her.

Bella's cell phone buzzing in her backpack nearby interrupts the moment. Signaling my brain to speed up my salacious intentions by intensifying my handiwork below, I slowly shake my head, willing her to ignore it. Wisely, she does.

"Hmm … oh Edward …" she moans. "Don't stop … it feels so fucking good."

My cell phone rings loudly from inside my suit jacket. Turning it off, I double my efforts in pleasuring my wife.

When my fingers cease and desist, Bella protests. "No baby … I need you. I want you … please Edward."

Dropping to my knees on the floor, I pull her hips to the edge of the bed and place her feet on top of my shoulders. I'm so turned on by the sight of her female genitalia mere inches away from my face. Something dark bordering her neatly groomed bush catches my eye and I pull back to check it out.

"What's this?" I ask, amused. My index finger traces the cursive lettering of my name.

_**Edward**_

"A tattoo … I missed you so fucking much," she says meekly propping herself up on her elbows to catch my expression. "I had it done while in London."

"It matches mine," I whisper understanding it's significance and break out into a full-fledged smile. "This means you belong to me."

"Always and forever," she whispers. "I can't live without you Edward. We can't be apart so long again even if it is just for work."

I nod in full agreement. "Don't ever fucking leave me."

"Never," she promises and lowers herself back down on the mattress.

My nose skims her pubic hair. Her sweet fragrance beckons me. My tongue darts in between her folds and I boldly lick her swollen nub, slowly at first but gradually increase intensity and speed with each passing stroke. Placing three fingers inside of her, I deliberately massage her sweet spot.

"Oh Edward! I'm gonna cum … please baby," she whimpers as I skillfully lead her to her climax. A few more flicks of my expert tongue and twirls of my dexterous fingers and her walls contract and squeeze my fingers.

"EDWARD!" she screams as her orgasm rips through her. "Oh fuck … YES!"

"Yes baby, you're back where you belong, with me," I whisper reverently in her ear feeling her body relax afterwards.

I climb on top and slide her to the middle of the bed. Unzipping my fly, I unleash the anaconda and spread her legs wide before plunging deep inside of her welcoming walls. Wrapping her legs around my ass, I start furiously thrusting into her. The grunting noises I'm making barely sounds human and I know I won't last very long. It's been too fucking long and she feels amazing!

"Bella baby … I'm …" I cry as she arches her back and unravels yet again.

"Oh God! EDWARD!" she yells and digs her nails into my back.

"BELLA!"

When feeling her pulsing hot walls repeatedly caressing my steel rod, my entire face scrunches tightly as my orgasm consumes me. I cum violently inside of her until the last drops of my semen is expelled within her.

A fist pounding on the door abruptly brings me back to reality. The wedding! Bella looks up at me and giggles.

"Looks like we've been busted baby," I laugh, trying to catch my breath.

"Edward and Bella, We know what you're doing in there!" Riley hollers. "And if you don't get your freshly fucked asses outside in 2 minutes I'm coming in after you and don't think I won't do it!"

I can hear Jacob telling Riley, "They've just defiled our marriage bed! I want fresh sheets."

I wince when pulling out of her but my penis is happily satiated for the moment. Giving her lips a tender and loving kiss, I help pull her up and off the bed. My arms enfold her and I whisper softly in her ear, "I love you."

Grasping my face with her hands she answers, "I love you too."

~StN~

Bella

Eight months later …

"Edward … hurry up, we're going to be late," I knock on our bathroom door. "Why is it that you need more time getting ready than I do?"

The door suddenly swings open and I stand back and thoroughly enjoy the view that is my husband's sexy back and firm buns. He is shaving while stark naked in front of the sink. He turns around looking like Santa Claus with shaving cream covering his face. Smirking he does a little jig as he makes his way over towards me. Pup who was lying by his feet, scrambles to get up to follow him. My hands stretch out in protest as he attempts to pull me into his arms. His prominent erection promises we will definitely be late if he takes hold of me.

"Hey, I thought you couldn't get enough of me baby," he whines. "Come to papa. You know you want it baby … admit it."

He's got me there. No matter how much we make love these days, it's never enough. I lust after him morning, noon and night 24/7. I briefly wonder if there is something seriously wrong with me or if this is how most pregnant women feel while in their second trimester. I'll have to remember to ask Rose later who is pregnant again.

"You can take me any way you want to later," I say suggestively.

His eyebrows shoot up and he grins. "Are all portals open?"

"That depends …" I say in a flirtatious manner.

"On what?" he asks in that little boy way that almost crumbles my resolve.

"On whether you please me or not." I feel myself moistening in anticipation.

"Well, that's a given baby." He teases me by flicking his tongue in the air. "Do we have any more lube?" He asks with a wag of his brows.

I swat at his cute little tush as he saunters back to the sink. Since we've already fucked twice this morning, maybe he's the one who has the problem. Edward is always willing and able to rise to the occasion. I can't help but smile at him. I love this man, body and soul. So when Edward asked me again to have his baby, I didn't hesitate. I knew I was finally ready to take that monumental step. We both were. This time our baby making efforts were short-lived as it happened fairly quickly. I'm pretty sure I know exactly when our daughter was conceived, as I immediately felt different although Edward thinks I'm full of shit.

I am lucky that I've been given a lot more leeway with my job and am able to arrange and spread out my assignments both stateside and abroad in shorter, more manageable increments. After returning home from my latest trip, Edward surprised me by turning one of the bedrooms into a plush office. He even set up a brand new MacBook with a 17" screen on my new glass-top desk. How thoughtful and sweet is that?

An hour later Edward and I are seated in Dr. Stanley's waiting room. His hand is laced with mine resting on top of my protruding belly and he is immersed in reading a book about what to expect after we bring our baby home from the hospital. He looks up at me excitedly when our daughter moves and kisses my bump. I've never been happier or felt more connected to my husband than while pregnant. Maybe we should have a dozen babies! This thought makes me smile.

Today we're graduating. We have been working with Jessica for nearly two years, minus the times I have been away on assignments. We have spent most of our time working on rebuilding trust and learning better ways to communicate, ways oddly enough that don't involve sex. I found that my issues with my mother really have hindered my relationship with Edward at times and Jessica helped me, us, sort through that. I have mixed feelings about ending our sessions, as I've grown very fond of Jessica. Maybe we can strike up a friendship outside of our counseling sessions.

I glance over at the other couple sitting across from us. More than a chair separates them as they continually bicker and shoot each other lethal glares. They must be new patients. I wonder what odds they've been given by the good doctor's staff. Speaking of which, I detected a noticeable chill from the normally friendly receptionist when Edward and I signed in.

Dr. Stanley opens her door and warmly greets us both. "Wow Bella, you're really popping out. When is your baby due?"

"In 104 days," Edward immediately replies. He knows more about what is going on inside my body than I do.

"Well you are absolutely glowing Bella," Jessica says. "Pregnancy agrees with you. And how are you feeling Edward?"

"Is this a trick question?" he skeptically asks. "I thought we were done with the all the touchy-feely emotional bullshit." He pauses and eyes her, "I passed though, right?"

"Relax Edward." Jessica gestures for us to sit down. "Yes, I'm happy to inform you that we've come to the end of our regular counseling sessions. You've passed, so to speak. Of course, should you ever wish to go through therapy again …?"

"Oh no!" Edward interjects and raises his hands defensively. "Once in my lifetime is more than enough for me."

I roll my eyes at Edward, knowing damn well that he learned a lot from coming to these sessions but loves giving Jessica a hard time.

"I thought for our last session you two could help me with something."

Edward and I look at each other and then her, before finally nodding.

"You see, today I collect my winnings from my staff. Having won our little bet after successfully saving your troubled marriage and I wanted you both to be present to help me cash in my winnings so to speak," she says, her smile spreading. She then presses the intercom on her phone.

"You can all come in now." She says, still smiling at us.

Edward and I look to each other and shrug, our expressions puzzled. What does she expect us to do? What did she win?

A much older woman strolls inside the office along with an attractive middle-aged man who recently joined Jessica's practice. He gives his associate a warm smile and I have to wonder if there is something going on between the two of them. Good for her if there is. The pretty young receptionist trails behind holding a tray with three aluminum pie tins filled with whip cream.

What the fuck?

Jessica spins around and presses the button on her CD player. The peppy upbeat tune of The Beatle's, 'I am the Walrus' fills the room.

I am he as you are he as you are me

And we are all together

See how they run like pigs from a gun

See how they fly, I'm crying

Sitting on a cornflake

Waiting for the van to come

Corporation T-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday

Man you've been a naughty boy

You let your face grow long

I am the eggman

They are the eggmen

I am the walrus

Goo goo g' joob

Okay, this is getting weird, even for Jessica. She hands each of them a plastic cape like you would wear in a beauty salon and they willingly put it on. Jessica then gestures for Edward and me to each take a pie tin as the silly song plays on.

Mr. City policeman sitting

Pretty little policemen in a row

See how they fly like Lucy in the sky

See how they run, I'm crying

I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying

Yellow matter custard

Dripping from a dead dog's eye

Crabalocker fishwife

Pornographic priestess

Boy, you've been a naughty girl

You let your knickers down

I am the eggman

They are the eggmen

I am the walrus

Goo goo g' joob

"Ready … aim …. Fire!" Jessica hollers and gleefully smashes the whip cream into the man's face.

Edward and I stare at her open mouthed.

"Go ahead you two!" she laughs encouraging us to do the same to the women who are openly glaring at us.

I am the eggman

They are the eggmen

I am the walrus

Goo goo g' joob

G-goo goo g' joob

Goo goo g' goo

G-goo goo g' joob goo

Juba juba juba

Juba juba juba

Juba juba, juba juba

Juba juba

Hell, why the fuck not? Our counseling sessions have always been quirky and offbeat, might as well end that way.

I take aim at the pretty young receptionist and let her have it good. Take that! I watch as the tin slides down her face. I glance over at Edward who apologizes before he does the same to the older woman. She then gestures for Edward to help her wipe the whipped cream off of her face with the paper towels. When he gets close to her, she reaches up on her tiptoes and kisses him.

"I've always wanted to do that!" she gushes. "I'm a big fan of yours Edward! You can hit me with a pie any time."

I can't help but laugh. They look ridiculous and so does Edward who now has whip cream smeared on his mouth. Laughing, Jessica turns off the CD player. The three losers clean their faces before marching out of the office with their heads held high and their tails between their legs.

"What if they had won the bet?" I ask. "What would they have won?"

"Well Mary and Ashley would have received $50 each and Ben … well, he just did it for fun," Jessica blushes.

We laugh sitting down and spend the next 45 minutes talking about the growth and learning Edward and I have accomplished over the course of our time with her. When saying our goodbyes, Jessica and I hug and shed a few tears promising to stay in touch. Edward noticeably sighs when we're inside the elevator.

"What's that for?" I give him a sideways glance.

Edward pulls me into his arms, my belly coming between us, and kisses me softly.

"How about we go home …" he says resting his forehead on mine. "I'll get some wood to start a nice fire in the fireplace …"

Ooh, I like where this is going! Desire warms my insides as I picture myself sprawled out naked on the soft plush rug beside the roaring fire. My husband is hovering on top, ready to make sweet, sweet love to me … hmm.

"… and burn those fucking notebooks once and for all!" he snickers. "Let's go home, Mrs. Cullen."

"Sounds like a wonderful plan Mr. Cullen," I laugh and squeeze his bottom knowing that I'll also have my wicked way with him.

* * *

**A/N: As Bug Bunny says, 'That's all Folks!' I hope that you've enjoyed Slim to None. If you have, I'd love to know. Drop me a line.**

**Coming soon … Edward and Bella's notebooks as outtakes. **


	22. Outtake: Bella's Notebook

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns everything Twilight.**

**A/N: Hats off to my amazing Beta T, Lovin Rob. **

**Jessica knew Bella and Edward had to be honest with themselves before they could ever be honest with each other. The notebooks were a tool she used to break down the walls that separated them. Between her thought provoking questions and encouragement in having them write down their feelings, she was able to help them rediscover what had been temporarily lost. **

**So ladies first …**

* * *

Bella's notebook

7/20/2012 Counseling session from Chapter 4:

**What do I want?**

_I want to wipe that fucking smirk off of Edward's goddamn face. _

**What makes me angry?**

_Edward – at the moment absolutely every fucking thing about him. _

**What am I afraid of?**

_Myself – I don't trust myself when I'm anywhere near Edward. I wish I could just turn off my feelings but I can't and it makes me feel exposed and vulnerable. I'm not in control of myself when I'm around him._

**What makes me happy?**

_I can't remember the last time I felt truly 'happy'. I used to be ignorant and blissfully happy with Edward or so I thought. Writing – writing makes me happy and gives me a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. My friends – as annoying as Alice can be, she makes me laugh … Rose keeps me grounded and Jake … well he inspires and encourages me to believe in myself. _

**What do I do well in my marriage? **

_Obviously not very much. I feel like I am a failure as a wife and a woman. That he strayed tells me that I wasn't enough for him. What's wrong with me?_

**What could I do better in my marriage? **

_I honestly don't know. I really tried … It doesn't matter now. It's over. _

**What are my dreams … goals? **

_If you asked me a few months ago, my answer would be simple. I was living a fairy tale with my very own Prince Charming and we were supposed to live 'happily ever after'. Now that bubble has burst … hmm … I am through with men – forever! I'm going to concentrate on my career and get a cat. _

**How do I feel now? **

_Extremely sad and depressed. I should have listened to my dad. He was right about Edward. He tried to warn me but I wouldn't listen. Edward hurt me so badly. _

**Make a list of all the qualities you like about your spouse. **

_I suppose you mean liked (past tense) about your spouse when he wasn't a 'fucking asshole'? _

_Edward is very smart – he challenged my views and expanded my horizon._

_Edward can make me laugh like no one else._

_Edward can be very sweet and playful._

_Edward can be thoughtful and considerate – except when he's being a complete and total jerk._

_Edward is an amazing lover (10+) – what he does with his hands, his mouth … his member. He was never selfish. He always took care of my needs before his own._

_He was my very best friend … _

**Make a list of all your complaints about your spouse. **

_He fucking cheated on me! Isn't that enough? I'd like to know why but then again maybe I don't. And I'm not too thrilled with his attitude towards Jake. Does he really think I've fucked my oldest and dearest friend? Now I kind of wish I did. _

**What changes would you make if you could? **

_I would chain him to our bedpost and fuck him until he cried for mercy or his cock shriveled up and fell off. Let's see him cheat then!_

**Write how your partner would behave or fulfill your every fantasy. **

_For starters he would never look twice at another woman. Edward would be a faithful, loving husband who worships the ground I walk on. He'd make me feel safe and secure in our relationship so I could trust him enough to build a future with him…to have his babies. Can you believe I still want the 'happily ever after'? I'm so fucking pathetic!_

7/20/2012

Dr. Stanley says that I should write down my thoughts and feelings. She thinks it will help me sort through our issues. I have my doubts but I will give it a shot. At least I'll know that I tried. Where to start?

Today I felt totally hurt and humiliated when arriving at our counseling session. The expression on Edward's face when I walked out of the elevator - the way he shamelessly ogled my body up and down. Even though that was the reaction I was hoping for I felt jealous – jealous of that woman! Can you believe that? Jealous of myself, well, it wasn't really me. Technically, it was but it really wasn't … I was a fraud. I was pretending to be somebody I wasn't and he seemed very interested in that person. Ouch! I guess he wants that kind of woman … a sexy hot babe … something I'm definitely not. The way he shifted in his chair whenever I crossed and uncrossed my legs … Oh yeah, I noticed him sporting some major wood. That _is_ what he wants. He doesn't want me. This is so fucking hopeless! I'm so pathetic … sitting here in my pj's, pigging out on ice cream, attempting to watch TV but all the while I'm staring at our house hoping to catch sight of him when he returns home just so I can find out if he's alone or not. What if he's not? How will I handle that? Maybe Rose is right. I am a masochist. Shoot me now …

7/22/2012

It felt good to go back home and see my family, even though I didn't stay very long. What would I do without them? I know they love me but they don't know how badly I'm hurting inside. Dad wants me to move on … if only it were that simple. And I know that Lizzy wants me to confide in her but I just can't. I don't know how. I've never had a real mother before. Renee didn't give a shit about me … it was so easy for her to walk away. Jake – you are a godsend! Why oh why didn't I fall in love with you instead of him? You'd never betray me.

7/23/2012

Edward has left me two voice messages practically begging me to call him back. However after seeing the Internet picture of him with the blonde riding his crotch, I'm seething. Even though we are separated and our marriage is technically OVER, this really, really fucking HURTS! Did I mean so little to him that he was able to replace me so quickly? But since I left Forks yesterday with the intentions of having a 'real' talk with my wayward husband as Jake suggested I do, I returned his damn phone call. I hate fucking voice mail! He hasn't called back. What's with that? HE called ME! I just left him another voice message on his cell. That's it … no more.

7/24/2012

Just talked to Rose and told her about Edward's strange voice messages. He STILL hasn't called me back! She told me that she and Emmett went to the house Saturday night and that she lit into him about the Internet pictures. I wish she hadn't done that. I wanted to do that. She also said that Edward has a monstrous dog – a vicious beast and that he attacked her! She said Edward showed up at their apartment later in the middle of the night looking half-crazed and demanding to know where I was … what the hell? She refused to tell him. Thank you Rose! Alice said pretty much the same thing. Why was he looking for me? Why haven't you returned my calls Edward? WHY?

7/25/2012

I'm such a creeper, stalker; I don't even know what to label myself anymore. I watched Edward drive off before sneaking into our house. It felt so strange to be inside there again where I have so many wonderful memories with him. We were so happy … or at least I thought we were. God! Now, I'm so sad. Why did I go over there? The vicious beast Rose was talking about is only a sweet little puppy. He's so adorable but Edward really has his hands full taking care of him. Good, I'm glad he has taken on the responsibility – he needs to know what its like to care for something other than himself.

~StN~

7/27/2012 Counseling session from Chapter 8:

On a scale of 1 to 5, (1 = low, 5 = high), please answer the following questions. Feel free to add comments.

**How would you rate your level of satisfaction with your marriage right now? **

_-1. Well this is a stupid, stupid question! I don't have a marriage anymore. _

**How much quality time do you spend together? **

_Did you even read these questions Dr. Stanley? We aren't spending ANY time together these days so it's a -1_

**How would you rate your sex life?**

_-1. What sex life? Does Barney count?_

**What was the outcome of the most recent argument you had with your spouse?**

_-1. Another stupid question! The outcome? Let's see … after confronting Edward with the evidence of his whoring, I packed my bags and left him. I filed for divorce the very next day. _

**How many nice things have you done for your spouse without being asked? **

_I was good to him and I thought I was being a good wife. I cleaned for him … cooked for him … I took care of his insatiable physical needs with relish. I loved him with all of my heart and he fucking ripped it out and stomped on it! _

**At night when you are lying in bed and thinking of your spouse, what kinds of thoughts run through your head?**

_So many times I've reached for him only to remember he's gone and that he's never coming back. I wonder if someone else is lying beside him. I keep replaying the last several months over and over again. I didn't even have a chance to grieve over the loss of our baby before he checked out on us. Perhaps it was for the best that I found out he wasn't fully invested in our relationship before bringing an innocent child into this. Maybe that's how my mom felt and why she left my dad and me. _

7/27/2012

So I've just returned from our counseling session. At first Edward was so cold and distant. He wouldn't even look at me. He's the one who reached out and called me! And then he ignores me? What the fuck happened between then and now? Maybe it's that blonde in the Internet photos? Maybe he's been seeing her all along? He wasn't wearing his wedding ring today. It shouldn't have bothered me but it really did. I feel as if he punched me in the gut. He's really moving on … I'm such an idiot. I wish my demented brain would finally get the fucking message he's been sending me. IT'S OVER! Get it through your thick skull … he doesn't want you anymore! He doesn't love you. Perhaps he never did. This is so fucking painful! But then he did something that completely took me by surprise. He pulled me on his lap and held me tight. For a minute I thought he might still have feelings … that he wanted me, wanted 'us' until he said that he wanted to be my 'friend' or whatever that's supposed to mean. I only agreed to try the friend thing because it's hard for me to picture my life without him in it at all but I don't think I'm strong enough to watch him move on without me. IT'S OVER! It's really over … I don't want it be over. Please help me! I still love him. There – I said it. But it's too late now. I feel so fucking empty inside …

7/28/2012:

Edward's text woke me up this morning. I was so happy but then remembered that Dr. Stanley ordered us to resume daily contact. So it's not that he wanted to reach out to me – he's being forced to. He's really embracing the whole 'friend' thing. He's asked me to come to the Hive and watch him record with the band. Is he for real? It's too soon. Maybe he can put his feelings away nice and neat but I don't think I can. I'm not going. Nope, no way! I'll write more later when I get back from my girl's night out.

Alice fucking tricked me! She took me to the damn Hive and being there was far more difficult than I imagined it would be … especially being inside the control room. If Jake hadn't been there I don't know if I could have kept my shit together. And what was with that song … 'I Need to Know'? I'm so confused. Was it meant for me? If it was, he is sending me mixed signals. Edward was so rude to Jake by not even saying hello to him. Would it really matter to Edward if Jake and I were together, together? Could he really be jealous? He did seem unusually quiet at the pub and I did catch him watching me intently a few times. I have to admit that I liked his attention. But I drank way too much and let my guard down. I'm so embarrassed the way I was touching myself as I was singing up on stage. Seeing him watch me … it really turned me on.

_Yes Edward, I wanted you to touch me and later when you did, I didn't want you to stop. Crazy right? I needed you every bit as much as you seemed to need me. _

Why did I stop him?

Edward told me that he 'needs to know'. What the hell does that mean? I need to know. We used to be able to talk about any and everything and now it's so very awkward. I noticed that he's wearing his wedding band again! Why? I am furious that Edward plans on going directly to my editor. We'll just see about that! Stay the fuck out of my career! I refuse to be manipulated into going to Las Vegas with the band under the guise of 'work'. It's a bad idea. I won't go!

And to top off this confusing as hell night Edward totally lost his shit. I can't fucking believe he actually hit Jake. I am so angry with him right now but somehow I can't help but think that it's my fault. If Edward does still have feelings for me, maybe I pushed him too far by being with Jake. How else can I explain his caveman-like behavior? Carlisle was very sympathetic and kind towards me on the phone. He said to hang in there and that his son loves me very much. How does he know that? Did Edward confide in him? Maybe that is what Edward needs … his dad, to help straighten him out. I'm glad I called him.

I've just replayed Edward's voice messages for the thousandth time. It's hard to stay angry with him, especially after that last message. He brought up the baby we lost. I know it was very early in my pregnancy but for me it was very real. We've never sat down and actually discussed it. I think he was afraid to bring it up as I was always crying. Edward doesn't do very well with tears. It makes him incredibly uncomfortable.

~StN~

7/31/2012 Counseling session from Chapter 12:

Answer yes or no to the following questions:

**When my spouse is away, I feel insecure or uncertain of his/her devotion. **

_Now – yes. Before – no._

**I am hurt and humiliated when my spouse does not respond to my sexual overtures.**

_No – Edward NEVER turned me down when we were together. _

**If I don't feel happy to see my spouse, something is wrong with our relationship.**

_Yes – a wife should want to be with her husband. _

**I need to hear my spouse say the words 'I love you' in order to feel loved. **

_Yes – I need to hear those words spoken. Who doesn't?_

**My needs and desires should always be more important to my spouse than the needs and desires of others.**

_Yes! _

**I deserve a spouse who will always try to make me happy.**

_This is a stupid question. Of course I want him to make me happy. _

**My spouse is an extension of myself.**

_Tough question but yes, in a way he is an extension of myself. I believe we are individuals, but we are also two halves of a whole. _

**In order to avoid having an argument with my spouse, I will do just about anything.**

_No. I don't enjoy fighting but sometimes it's necessary. I won't be a doormat. _

**Conflict is damaging to a relationship.**

_Sometimes but I think if you can resolve it, it might actually help. _

**The definition of a marriage is two people who have merged into becoming one entity. **

_In the biblical sense, yes. 'The two shall become one flesh'. But realistically no, not really._

7/31/2012

I'm so pathetic! I can't stop my tears. My emotions are all over the place. I've just returned from our session with Jessica and I think we've had some kind of major 'break through'. Those silly headbands, the weird role-playing and Edward confessing that he had been happy in our marriage and that he's been faithful. He even said that he loves me! WTF? Does this mean he wants more than just friendship? He said the words I've been longing to hear but … I still don't know. Maybe he was happy and he does love me but how can I ignore the little voice inside my head that says otherwise? I can remember my mom saying almost the exact same things to my dad. I want to believe him, I really do.

8/3/2012

I guess it was inevitable. My will power to resist Mr. Sex-on-legs completely crumbled while on the bus to Las Vegas. Some women don't like to give head but I'm definitely not one of them. Nothing turns me on more than feeling him respond to my mouth and fingers before releasing. It made me so wet. If we weren't on that damn bus I would have straddled him for sure. I'd forgotten what a skillful lover he is. He knows my body so well and it had been too long … he gave me one of the best orgasms I've ever had. Sorry Dr. Stanley but I'm like a moth drawn to the flame … resistance is futile. I need him. It's as simple as that.

8/5/2012

I've decided to take a leap of faith and let Edward back into my life again. After the incredible day we shared together, it reminded me how good we are together. I have to give him another chance. I love him so very much. We owe it to ourselves to at least try so I told him I don't want the divorce. You'd think he won a million dollars the way he lit up. We made love before the concert. It was beautiful. Sorry Jessica but we both needed to reconnect to one another. I wonder how she'll react in our next and probably last session when we tell her we've decided not to divorce?

Please, please … please let things work out for us this time.

* * *

**A/N: This is where the notebook ended when Jessica yanked it out of Bella's hands and gave it to Edward to read. It's not so bad. Actually it's rather sweet, isn't it? Coming up next … Edward's notebook.**

**Here's a pop-quiz. Are you up for a little soul searching? How do YOU feel about yourself and your relationships?**

**True or False:**

**Anything is better than being alone. **

**Being alone and free is better than being together and controlled. **

**You have to 'go along' to 'get along'. **

**In a great marriage you can ask for what you need without fear of rejection. **

**It's important to be right. **

**Marriage magically changes people for the better. **


	23. Outtake: Edward's Notebook

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns everything Twilight.**

**A/N: Thank you to my wonderful and amazing Beta T, Lovin Rob who was my pimp, cheerleader and #1 supporter!**

**So here it is …**

* * *

Edward's notebook

7/20/2012 Counseling session from Chapter 4:

**What do I want?** _Not to do this._

**What makes me angry?** _Having to do this._

**What am I afraid of?** _Doing this._

**What makes me happy?** _Definitely not this._

**What do I do well in my marriage?** _I hate to brag but ask Bella._

**What could I do better in my marriage?** _Ask Bella, she'll know._

**What are my dreams … goals?** _I've already reached them but lost the one that meant the most ... _

**How do I feel now?** _Alone, depressed and despondent… missing my wife._

**Make a list of all the qualities you like about your spouse. **

_I married her didn't I? Bella is the complete package … brains, beauty and booty._

**Make a list of all your complaints about your spouse. **

_Bella expects me to be fucking perfect and I'm not so I always end up disappointing her in one way or the other … except in the bedroom. _

_I am fucking pissed that she stopped believing in me – in us, so easily. She bailed. I don't know what I can say or do to defend myself, as I am NOT guilty. I have NOT fucked ANYONE since I met Bella. Period – end of story! _

_I really don't like Jacob, her supposed 'friend'. She needs to wake up and realize that he wants to be in her pants._

**What changes would you make if you could? **

_I'd snap my fingers and make this all go away. My wife would trust and believe in me again and I'd erase Jacob from existence. _

**Write how your partner would behave or fulfill your every fantasy. **

_Bella stars in all my fantasies and if you think I'm going to write them down so you can rub one out, you are one sick fuck, Dr. Stanley. _

7/21/2012

So I've answered your goddamn questions Dr. Stanley. What grade do I get? This is such fucking bullshit! Do you really think that by writing down my thoughts and feelings, I'll have an epiphany and all of this bullshit will suddenly make sense to me because for the past month or so, nothing has. Absolutely nothing! My entire life has spun out of control before crashing and burning. I'm so frustrated and angry.

7/22/2012

Well that's it. I really am a fucking asshole. Bella was right after all. As if things weren't bad enough, I fucked them up even further. Big time! I've done something terrible and I can't tell anyone about it but since this notebook is supposed to be for MY benefit and no one will ever see it but me, here it goes … I think I had sex last night with a woman who wasn't my wife. And here's the real kicker … I don't remember the actual sex part! After leaving our counseling session yesterday I needed to unwind. So I went to that new club and had a few drinks. Okay, maybe more than a few as I don't think I've ever been so wasted in my entire life. Or maybe it could have been because I hadn't eaten in awhile and the alcohol went straight to my head. Regardless, the next thing I knew some girl was on my lap grinding her sweet ass against my steel rod. I must've lost my mind or something cause I thought it was Bella. I vaguely remember her unzipping my pants and sliding her hand inside and I'm ashamed to say that I liked it. It felt so fucking good. Hey, it's been too long. But here is where it gets really unclear. I have flashbacks of being inside my car and I hear a woman's voice remarking on how beautiful my cock was. She had one hand on the wheel while her other hand was jerking me off. Did I cum? I don't know. I think I might have passed out. Fast forward to this morning. I'm horrified to have woken in a strange hotel room with some random girl I probably couldn't even identify in a line-up. I am repulsed by my behavior. I am so sorry Bella! I'M SORRY! How the hell will she ever forgive me? Maybe she shouldn't. Perhaps she'll never need to know. Fuck no ... at some point, I'm going to have to tell her. I'm dreading that day.

7/23/12

I've decided I don't give a shit anymore. I'm moving on. My marriage is definitely 100% over. Any hope I had of things working out between Bella and me has vanished. All of my worst fears have come true. My wife is fucking Jacob Black. I saw with my own two eyes, her truck parked at his house and it was too fucking early for a social call. She must have spent the night with him. I wonder how long it's been going on? Have I been played for a fool all along? Was she even pregnant with my baby or was it his? No ... I can't think like that. But I'm so fucking angry right now that I can't see straight. I want to beat the living shit out of that bastard. I feel so stupid for leaving her those voice messages begging her to call me like some lovesick school boy. I don't want to talk to her or ever see her fucking face ever again. I want this pain to go away. I can't handle this shit anymore.

~StN~

7/27/2012 Counseling session from Chapter 8:

On a scale of 1 to 5, (1 = low, 5 = high), please answer the following questions. Feel free to add comments.

**How would you rate your level of satisfaction with your marriage right now?**

_You're kidding me right? But if you must know, I'm extremely unsatisfied with the status quo of my marriage. Bella's moved on with her 'friend' and I'm going to move on as well. _

**How much quality time do you spend together? **

_Okay, now I know you are fucking with me, Dr. Stanley! Zilch, nada … zip. We spend NO time together except in these stupid, useless sessions._

**How would you rate your sex life?**

_Getting kind of personal, aren't you Dr. Stanley and if you think I'm going to answer that extremely personal question, you are out of your fucking mind. _

**What was the outcome of the most recent argument you had with your spouse?**

_Gee, that's a tough one. Let's see … hmm … my wife left me and immediately filed for divorce before giving us a chance to sit down and talk to see if we could work things out. I'd say that was rather childish, wouldn't you? _

**How many nice things have you done for your spouse without being asked?**

_Are you implying that I wasn't a good husband? Because you'd be wrong. Other than the 'little things' she commented on like not giving her my full attention and jumping up like a goddamn dog when she barked orders, I was a good and faithful husband. I took care of her many needs … just ask her. She cannot possibly have any complaints about that._

**At night when you are lying in bed and thinking of your spouse, what kinds of thoughts run through your head?**

_When I'm lying in bed at night – ALONE, I try NOT to think about Bella cause if I do, I can't sleep … my mind wanders and I picture her with him … lying in his bed and imagine all the kinky shit they're doing. Gee, thanks for bringing it up Dr. Stanley. Now I won't be able to sleep tonight. I'll bet Bella sleeps like a baby._

7/27/2012

I was doing so well today during our counseling session, keeping that wall up between us and pretending I that didn't care until I saw her tears fall and then I caved. Bella's not playing fair. She knows I can't handle her crying. I don't want to feel anything anymore but I don't seem to be able to turn my feeling off completely. Who am I kidding? I still love Bella. I'll always love her even though she doesn't want me anymore and is fucking someone else. But why the tears? Were they for me or is it because she is feeling guilty? Did seeing me without my wedding ring on ... the token symbol of our eternal love and bondage, truly upset her? I don't understand. But like I said, I caved when seeing her tears and then suggested something ludicrous like us being 'friends'. How the fuck can I just be friends with her knowing how I feel about her? This situation we're in truly sucks.

7/28/2012

I stayed up most of last night writing a song that I hope clues Bella in on how I'm feeling. I've called it 'I Need to Know'. I've decided that I'm going to give it one last shot before calling it quits on my marriage. Why should I make this easy for Jacob?

7/30/2012

Well, I've just made it fucking easy for Jacob. You might say I've paved the way for him to swoop in and carry off my wife. Everything had been going so well. Alice delivered Bella to the Hive like I hoped she would and I sang the song I wrote for her. We connected just like we used to. I know she felt it and I was just about to ask her to come with me so we could have a real talk until I saw Jacob standing beside her. I just about lost it. Is Bella sending me a message? Am I too thick to accept it? Yes, apparently I am because rather than go home, I went to the pub. Maybe it was just morbid curiosity or I'm a sick masochist but I thought if I watched them interact together, I would know for sure how Bella felt. She sat beside Jacob at the table but I didn't witness any obvious PDA right away – no arm around her shoulders or handholding under the table. Yeah, I checked. I dropped my napkin a lot. He did brush his thigh against hers at one point but then he swiveled in his chair to face Riley. Jacob actually seemed more interested in talking sports shit with him than engaging Bella in conversation. Bella's little performance up on stage really got to me. I knew I had to make a move and once again, Alice came through. I'm really starting to like her. After kissing Bella, there is little doubt in my mind that she still finds me sexually attractive. She wanted me but something is holding her back. Is it Jacob? When Jacob hugged and kissed her and told her he loved her before leaving with Riley … um, that was a bit strange. Why did he leave with him? I couldn't stop myself and took out all my frustrations on his face.

So now I've spent the past 24 hours with my dad. Bella called him. We talked a lot and I learned that my parent's marriage wasn't perfect like I'd always assumed it was. I guess no relationship is 'perfect'. I told him everything and I mean _everything_. His reaction surprised me. He told me if I really loved her, I shouldn't give up and walk away and that I shouldn't keep this from her. 'Complete honesty is the key son.' When I told him that Bella was involved with someone else, he laughed. He said that Bella loved me very much. When I asked him how he knew that, he told me to 'open my eyes'. What does that mean? I've called and left Bella several voice messages, as she isn't answering my calls. I know she's upset with what I did. How do I get through to her? I need her to know how much she means to me … how much I care and that I love her more than I ever thought possible. Maybe I'll have my chance while we're in Las Vegas.

~StN~

7/31/2012 Counseling session from Chapter 12:

Answer yes or no to the following questions:

**When my spouse is away, I feel insecure or uncertain of his/her devotion. **

_Yes! Obviously._

**I am hurt and humiliated when my spouse does not respond to my sexual overtures.**

_No – it's never happened. Bella always responds to my sexual prowess. _

**If I don't feel happy to see my spouse, something is wrong with our relationship.**

_Well yes … duh!_

**I need to hear my spouse say the words 'I love you' in order to feel loved. **

_No. Talk is cheap. What tells me 'I love you' is when she shows me. She shows me by her actions … by doing all the little things that makes a house a home and by her touch._

**My needs and desires should always be more important to my spouse than the needs and desires of others.**

_Absolutely yes! I should come first before all others. _

**I deserve a spouse who will always try to make me happy.**

_Yes! Who wants a spouse who makes them miserable?_

**My spouse is an extension of myself.**

_Yes! She's my other half._

**In order to avoid having an argument with my spouse, I will do just about anything.**

_No, I'm not afraid to speak my mind especially since I'm usually right._

**Conflict is damaging to a relationship.**

_Yes, apparently so._

**The definition of a marriage is two people who have merged into becoming one entity. **

_No – that is the definition of fucking. I'll tell you the definition of a marriage. It's being there for each other through the good as well as the bad shit. It's about accepting each other's faults as well as their good qualities. It's NOT about making close friendships with the opposite sex that makes your spouse fucking crazy. _

7/31/2012

I've got to hand it to Dr. Stanley. Her methods are definitely weird but effective. I didn't think Bella would talk to me after the incident in the parking lot but she did. Maybe the last message I left softened her. For the first time since she walked out on me, I think we might actually be able to work things out. I told her I loved her. I bared my soul to her during our session. I even told her about being drugged the night I was photographed kissing that blonde woman. I should have told her right then and there what I remember about the rest of that night but instead I chickened out. I hope it doesn't come back to bite me. I'm looking forward to Vegas in a few days. I think that will be my best shot at winning her back and I'm going to lay it on thick. She's going to have trouble keeping her hands off of me. I know what she likes. I'll bet Jacob doesn't have a clue.

8/6/2012

I WON BIG IN LAS VEGAS!

YOU LOSE BIG JACOB BLACK!

Who knew make-up sex could be this fucking fantastic? Since she's agreed not to end our marriage, we can't seem to stop doing it. Bella just left MY bed after another marathon session. I can still smell her scent on the sheets. But I couldn't persuade her to stay. Bella feels guilty leaving Rose alone. Emmett had better do something about his wife and soon. I want mine to move back in with me. Maybe I'll give him Dr. Stanley's card. I am one lucky son-of-a-bitch to be given a second chance with the woman I love. I promise that I'll never, ever take her for granted again or put myself in questionable situations that make her feel insecure about us. I plan on sitting her down soon and telling her everything that has happened since we separated … and I mean EVERYTHING! No more secrets. I should have done this before. She deserves to know the truth. I wonder how she'll react when I tell her that I possibly had sex with another woman. What will I do if she changes her mind about us? Maybe we should discuss this in our next counseling session … our very last counseling session.

I just want our life to return back to normal. Wish me luck ...

* * *

**A/N: At their next counseling session, Jessica made Edward and Bella switch their notebooks. At that point Edward still hadn't sat Bella down and confessed. Can you understand why he was so freaked-out that she had his notebook? Bella had yet to read it when she met up with Vicky and later when Tanya and Dimitri kidnapped her. Unfortunately for him, Edward was very wrong about it being their last counseling session but continuing probably helped save their marriage.**

**Well … this is it for Slim to None. I hope you've enjoyed it every bit as much as I've enjoyed writing it. Thank you so much for reading. xC**


End file.
